(Molly) C&p pls (@Morgan) I'll think on it some more (@Morgan) * Claudia grimaces (@Morgan) It happens. Nothing but friendship and desire. People don't always want to do the marriage thing like you (@Morgan) It didn't involve marriage, anyway (@Morgan) * Claudia shakes her head (@Morgan) I've got work to do (@Morgan) * Morgan nods (@Morgan) we'll talk later (@Morgan) * Claudia nods a little, then inclines her head before walking off (Molly) ((What does he do?)) * @Morgan goes to check on Molly * Molly and Varick are at the desk. She's explaining the verb variations based on the subject from Eisen to Avalon. He can still hear the slight Eisenness in her Avalonian (Molly) Ich gehe... I go. Du gehst... You go. (Molly) **Captain Ulysses is the first to spot Morgan, purring at his feet * @Morgan crouches down, stroking the cat * Molly spots him, smiling. She continues to alternate between Eisen and accented Avalon whuksr Varick follows along on a piece of paper (Molly) **Captain Ulysses climbs up to Morgan's shoulders (Molly) [Do you need me?] (@Morgan) [No, I just wanted to see you before I go get something to eat] * Molly smiles and blushes, fully mixing her words and speaking a whole sentence of Eisalonian (Molly) V: *he starts laughing* * @Morgan smiles, quietly heading out of the room to go get breakfast (Molly) **he's later than normal, only Sorgi there eating still* ** You're now known as Sorgi (@Morgan) captain (Sorgi) Morning m'Lord (@Morgan) how goes it? (Sorgi) Not too badly. More gun drills today. Later this week we'll start becalming drills * @Morgan nods (Sorgi) Claudia tells me you're voyaging in January? (@Morgan) to new and exotic lands (Sorgi) It sounds exciting (Sorgi) **cook brings Morgan food and coffee*: * @Morgan thanks the cook and starts eating (@Morgan) potentially, aye (Sorgi) On the Rose, m'Lord? (@Morgan) realistically, it would be best for an ambassador to turn up on the flagship of her husbands fleet... and the ballroom wouldn't be unwelcome for that sort of meeting * Sorgi nods (Sorgi) Very suitable, m'Lord * @Morgan nods * @Morgan watches Sorgi while sipping his coffee (@Morgan) Claudia tells me she's thinking of disembarking at Freiburg * Sorgi is eating (Sorgi) I know *he says once he's swallowed* (@Morgan) whats your view on that? (Sorgi) I think it's her choice, m'Lord (@Morgan) Don't dance around the bush Sorgi, you know exactly what I mean * Sorgi smiles a little (Sorgi) She's good on the ship and with the crew, and she is a friend. I'll miss her, but wish her the best (@Morgan) You know why she is wanting to leave? (Sorgi) I do * Sorgi drinks his coffee * Sorgi waits for Morgan to continue (@Morgan) You're picking up some of her habits, Sorgi... (Sorgi) In being taciturn, m'Lord? * @Morgan nods slowly (Sorgi) What is there to say? She doesn't want to be tied down, I have no plans to marry. Plus, the age and religious differences (@Morgan) None of that has bothered either of you so far (Sorgi) Bothers me a great deal, m'Lord (@Morgan) in what respect? (Sorgi) That there are many reasons why it would never work (@Morgan) what _what_ would never work? (Sorgi) She and I as a couple (@Morgan) But you're not interested in that (Sorgi) I don't want to get married, nor does she (@Morgan) I gathered that much * Sorgi just nods, drinking his coffee (@Morgan) so the issue is entirely that I forbade it? (Sorgi) It hasn't made things easier, m'Lord (@Morgan) You're both drawn to eachother, aren't you? * Sorgi nods (Sorgi) I reckon so. Never met a woman quite like her, m'Lord (@Morgan) she's definitely a singular being (Sorgi) She's got an independent streak. I like that in women. * @Morgan nods (@Morgan) You realise that my forbidding it was out of concern for it creating an awkward working relationship aboard? * Sorgi nods (Sorgi) I understand. We've all dealt with conflicts between crew at sea (@Morgan) It doesn't seem to have caused an issue from the previous occasion, though, does it * Sorgi shakes his head (Sorgi) We don't want conflict. We both know the score * @Morgan nods, sipping his coffee (Sorgi) If she wants to leave, I won't stop her, m'Lord (@Morgan) I get the feeling she only wants to leave because she doesn't want to go against what I've said (Sorgi) She respects you. We both do. * @Morgan nods slowly * Sorgi continues eating (Sorgi) Are you coming to watch the drill? (@Morgan) I/me nods (@Morgan) I think so (Sorgi) **they get finished eating, and can already hear the noise on deck of the regular movement of crew around the cannons** (Sorgi) Was there anything else, m'Lord, whilst we are alone? (@Morgan) No, thats about the only pressing thing that required privacy my friend * Sorgi inclines his head, heading up on deck. The cat doesnt do more than occasionally stretch throughout the drill. Claudia is a hard taskmistress, but there's clear improvement even in just a few days of training, the crew pulling together as a team more * Sorgi watches the practice, and time rushes away from them. With the watch ready to swap over, Claudia comes to Sorgi to hand over. The tension is still there, but very subtle. (Anything he would do here?) (@Morgan) {{nope}} (Sorgi) *the bell is rung, and the watch changes. Claudia heads below following the crew, and Sorgi starts checking in with the afternoon watch who have just come from an early lunch. * @Morgan follows the crew below (Sorgi) **They all sit for lunch which is quite a noisy affair. Captain Ulysses gets down to wander along the table like a furry general, getting fed by all. Molly and Varick turn up just after him. It's quite relaxed, and Claudia is the first up from the table after eating, giving Morgan an opportunity to catch her alone if he wishes * @Morgan excuses herself and follows her ** You're now known as Claudia * Claudia is heading for her cabin * @Morgan calls to her (Claudia) Yes? (@Morgan) I want a moment to talk to you, please (Claudia) In the hall, or in my room? (@Morgan) either * Claudia nods on the direction of her cabin, which she unlocks. Just as her shack is in Sudlachenburg, the room looks more like an armoury than a place of rest. It's only a single room, and there's nowhere clear to sit * @Morgan finds a beam to lean against * Claudia starts tidying (Claudia) So? (@Morgan) I was going to say I want an honest answer to a question, but when have you ever not given that... * Claudia thinks (Claudia) I don't lie to you. I was more worried than I let on when Molly was in so much trouble in Fischler, but that's about it * @Morgan nods (@Morgan) so tell me... your desire to leave... is that solely down to my forbidding any further moments with Sorgi? (Claudia) I won't break my word. I swore it wouldn't happen again. To ensure that doesn't happen in the future, it is better that I go back to work (@Morgan) Your leaving is so that you won't break your word? (Claudia) Yes (@Morgan) if I were to relent on my forbidding it? (Claudia) Then I would stay, because if our resolve was to break, I wouldn't be breaking my word to you * @Morgan nods slowly (@Morgan) You do not think it would cause any issues between you? (Claudia) Assuming it happened at all, no, I don't think so. We are friends, we are happy with that * @Morgan nods slowly (@Morgan) Let me think about it... * Claudia frowns (Claudia) I am not trying to force your hand. (@Morgan) I've given an indication that I believe that to be the case? (Claudia) No but I wanted to be clear (@Morgan) It'd be unusual for you to be anything else * Claudia nods (Claudia) Do you need anything else? I was going to take a nap before Molly's training (@Morgan) Hows that going? (Claudia) Not bad. I'd like her to be a bit more violent * @Morgan nods (@Morgan) want me to speak to her about it? (Claudia) If you like * @Morgan nods, moving to the door (@Morgan) will do * Claudia nods, throwing a mail vest on the floor (Claudia) I'll come and get her * @Morgan nods, opening the door (@Morgan) enjoy your nap * Claudia nods, lying down on the bed still in her boots (Claudia) Will do * @Morgan heads out of the room, closing the door (Claudia) **it's generally quieter, and the dining hall is empty as he passes * @Morgan heads back to his study ** You're now known as Molly * Molly is just coming out of Varick's room, shutting the door quietly. She smiles at him (Molly) Well that is good timing, liebes herz * @Morgan nods * Molly watches him (Molly) Do you wish to sit together a while, or are you busy? (@Morgan) That sounds nice... * Molly takes his hand, leading him to the couch (Molly) Have you had a nice morning? (@Morgan) mostly, aye (@Morgan) you? (Molly) It's been fine... (@Morgan) but... (Molly) I've mostly been looking forward to hearing your dream! *she giggles* (@Morgan) later... I've got something I want your opinion on * Molly sits on the couch (Molly) Alright (@Morgan) Claudia is wanting to leave the ship when we get to Freiburg * Molly nods a little (Molly) It will be a shame to lose her, but I can see why running around on a ship for months could be tedious for her (@Morgan) Thats not why * Molly watches him (Molly) Why? (@Morgan) She and Sorgi are drawn to eachother physically... she wont break her word to me that nothing will happen so feels the only way to guarantee that is to leave * Molly thinks on this (Molly) I can understand that (@Morgan) So the only reason my friend is leaving us is because she doesn't want to break her word on the restriction I placed on them (Molly) Yes... (@Morgan) Their sleeping together before has not caused any issues, and they both believe it would not in the future, if it happened again * Molly nods slowly (Molly) I see (Molly) Is your concern about the conflict, or about the propriety? (@Morgan) the conflict... given their status, they're not held to the same standards in terms of propriety as we are... *he frowns* mind you, look at Edwards friends (Molly) Edward's friends are gentlemen, they can, and I would imagine do, take mistresses... (@Morgan) and visit brothels... * Molly nods (Molly) The men of the gentry and nobility will always do as they please... * @Morgan nods (Molly) If Sorgi was a gentleman, he could have taken her as his mistress (@Morgan) but he's not... and I don't know they'd even consider that as an option (Molly) As to the conflict... Do you trust them not to kill each other? (@Morgan) Its more the disruption it could cause (Molly) But they are adults, playing an adult game. Do you trust them to behave in a way that doesn't damage the running of the Rose? (@Morgan) I believe so, having spoken to them both... (Molly) Realistically, if they are going to have conflict, I'd rather they do it now before we make a sixteen week trip to Capperlucia * @Morgan nods (@Morgan) practical (Molly) Here we can leave either in a port and they can get back to Eisen. * @Morgan nods * Molly ponders on it (Molly) What is it you want my opinion on? (@Morgan) whether or not I should rescind my ban of their being intimate (Molly) But your problem.is not with them being intimate, it is with the conflict that could arise if one wishes to end the liaison and the other doesn't, or if one falls in love? * @Morgan nods (@Morgan) realistically, but banning them being together effectively removed those possibilities (Molly) It wouldn't stop them falling in love, would it? (@Morgan) Given Claudia's reaction to any sort of emotional attachment was "yuck" I'm not overly concerned in that regard * Molly smiles (Molly) People do change their minds where matters of the heart are concerned... * @Morgan nods (@Morgan) I know (Molly) I should imagine you do, my love (Molly) The tension is unlikely to just disappear, isn't it? (@Morgan) extremely I'd say (Molly) And there is a risk of conflict in that too not just between them, but between you and them (@Morgan) oh? (Molly) I am thinking of our frustrations with our Fathers and their desire to keep us separated before the wedding * @Morgan nods (@Morgan) I see (Molly) It is up to you, of course * Molly smiles (Molly) After all, she is your ship * @Morgan nods slightly (@Morgan) I suppose so (Molly) Is there any rush? (@Morgan) I think it'd be fair for them both to know whats happening in their future * Molly nods (Molly) Especially if she may leave? (@Morgan) indeed * Molly nods (Molly) I can see the arguments on both sides... * Molly thinks about it (Molly) If it were me, I'd rescind my demand. Claudia will be distressed to break her word, but we must be honest and admit that where there is a high level of attraction, things can happen in the moment before you really realise how far it's gone * @Morgan nods (@Morgan) I see what you're saying (Molly) I don't think you can necessarily stop them being intimate, all you could do is put in a rule that harms Claudia's wellbeing or your friendship. (@Morgan) breaking her word to me seems to be her only concern about it * Molly smiles, raising an eyebrow (Molly) Your primary concern before we wed was breaking the promise to my Father, and then both our Fathers when we arrived in Eisen... * @Morgan sighs (Molly) What is it, liebling? (@Morgan) Just thinking how complex and how simple it is at the same time * Molly smiles (Molly) Whyso? (@Morgan) so many things I'm thinking about, the possible consequences, the potential fallout... when realistically, I just need to trust my friend (Molly) You are borrowing trouble, my love? (@Morgan) it would seem so (Molly) Then tell me, let me help you. What are the consequences and fallouts, in real terms? I feel like you wish to rescind, but you are second guessing yourself, and I wish to help * Molly stands up (Molly) Shall I get some tea whilst you think on it? (@Morgan) please blossom * Molly bends to press her lips to his cheek (Molly) I'll be back in a minute * @Morgan nods * Molly moves away and then leaves the room ** You are now disconnected ------------------------------ Logging started for Blitzed:#7thseaic on Sunday, 7 February 2021 08:38:56 Greenwich Mean Time ------------------------------ ** You have joined #7thseaic ** timtam.uk.eu.blitzed.org sets mode(s) +nt ** ChanServ sets mode(s) -o Molly ** Morgan has joined #7thseaic ** ChanServ sets mode(s) +o Morgan * Molly returns with the tea about five minutes later. She puts it on the desk before bringing over two cups, handing him one, and gets settled on the couch, turned so she can watch him. (Molly) Okay, so tell me what your worst case scenarios are *she smiles* * @Morgan sighs, shrugging * Molly watches him, nodding slightly (Molly) Do you wish me to suggest some? * @Morgan nods (Molly) They fall out and become a physical danger to each other * @Morgan nods (@Morgan) I don't see that is particularly likely (Molly) No, but that is the very worst outcome (Molly) They both stop running watches on the ship... (@Morgan) which would be disastrous (Molly) So we prepare for the possibility. Koen seems competent, you can certainly do it. There must be others in the crew with some experience? (@Morgan) I'd imagine so (Molly) Then let's find them. This makes sense regardless. Suppose one of them was taken sick and was unable to work. * @Morgan nods (Molly) Do you think either of them childish or irresponsible enough to put lives at risk over a romantic disagreement? (@Morgan) I wouldn't have thought so, especially given they both have the same outlook on romance * Molly nods (Molly) Other risks... she becomes with child... * Molly sips her tea (@Morgan) I cant imagine that ending well in any scenario (Molly) No... and I would imagine they have considered that (@Morgan) no... (Molly) But that would be a long term complication, fixable... (@Morgan) perhaps (Molly) Or it becomes well known amongst the crew that they are... intimate. It causes a lack of respect, or inappropriate comments or actions from the crew towards her (@Morgan) in which case we'd need to hire a new crew and bury the old one * Molly shrugs (Molly) I think she's scary enough that they wouldn't dare * @Morgan nods (@Morgan) I agree (Molly) Besides, until she told you what had happened, you hadn't realised... if they can be discrete enough not to alert you... * @Morgan nods (@Morgan) Aye, thats a good point * Molly smiles absently (Molly) Your Father would be deeply unimpressed with you if he discovered it (@Morgan) There's a great many things he would be deeply unimpressed by... my knowing the names of the servants in the Eisenfursts house was one of them * Molly smiles (Molly) You and I living together in Tawstock... * @Morgan nods * Molly sips her tea (Molly) Certainly me having been betrothed twice before (@Morgan) So his disapproval or otherwise is rather moot * Molly nods (Molly) Indeed it is (Molly) Can you think of any other consequences, aside from either of them being upset? (@Morgan) No, not really * Molly nods (Molly) I would like to think they care enough about us to keep running the ship at least until we could leave one or both of them in a port and find a replacement (@Morgan) given that she'd rather leave than risk breaking her word to me, I think so * Molly nods (Molly) What does your heart tell you, liebes herz? * @Morgan sighs (@Morgan) to let them do as they will... but how much of that is tinted by my desire to keep her close? (Molly) If she wasn't going to leave, you would let them keep going as they are, with that building tension? (@Morgan) No, it wouldn't be fair * Molly looks thoughtful, sipping her tea (Molly) I wouldn't think they can make that attraction and tension go away just with willpower... (@Morgan) no, I don't think so * Molly smiles distractedly before sipping her tea (Molly) It sounds like you have mostly decided already (@Morgan) it does rather * Molly nods (Molly) Can I help you any more in this? (@Morgan) I don't think so, I think the decision is rather made * Molly nods (Molly) You are leaving now? (@Morgan) No, I'll speak to Claudia later, she's having a nap now * Molly nods (Molly) Do you think your new herbs are working? That's two nights with no nightmares... * @Morgan frowns slightly, nodding (@Morgan) how did you sleep? * Molly shrugs a little (Molly) Not too bad... I think maybe Alternative Path, but I'm not sure because I didn't get to the ending (@Morgan) oh? (Molly) Are you sad comfortably? *She smiles* (Molly) Sat* * @Morgan wiggles in place (@Morgan) aye * Molly giggles (Molly) You didn't return from Eisen and you didn't write. Kai still destroyed the Rose. I managed to scrape the money together to be rid of him, and Lady Catherine let me go to work in her Carleon house instead. So I moved there in March, admitting that it had obviously just been flirtation and kissing for you, and you'd likely fallen in love with an Eisen girl back home. (@Morgan) I see (Molly) *her microexpression shows jealousy* (Molly) So I had been heartbroken, and had spent several months getting over you. I had Evie, and Ayden, and a big social circle. I was doing alright by the time summer ended, and I was in a courtship with someone. * Molly watches his reaction * @Morgan scowls slightly * Molly smiles a little (Molly) Would you like me to sit in your lap and tell you instead? * @Morgan nods (@Morgan) aye, why not * Molly looks surprised, then puts her teacup on the floor (Molly) If I sit stride your lap, rather than curled up, you can probably keep your tea *she smiles* * @Morgan nods (@Morgan) very well * Molly does so. In her modified trousers, she doesn't have to hitch her skirts. She's careful not to knock his tea (Molly) Now, where was I...? (@Morgan) being courted (Molly) Ah yes... (Molly) It was early September. I hadn't seen you since early December, and I had mostly healed my heart. And then the door opened, and there you were. You looked well-rested, and well-dressed in black with shiny bits, as you had joked about the day I nearly drowned. * Molly smiles (Molly) Evie was livid and was glaring at you, and I thought she would make you leave, but instead she left us to it. I was picking up pins from the floor, trying not to make eye contact, not wanting the pain to come back. * @Morgan nods (Molly) You knelt beside me and apologised profusely for not returning, but that much had happened in Sudlachenburg and you hadn't been able to leave. You couldn't understand how I hadn't received any of the letters you had written. * @Morgan frowns (@Morgan) given how my letter to Sasha and Otto came back, I cant say it surprises me (Molly) That is true... and I had been gone from Tawstock for six months * @Morgan nods (Molly) You took my hands so I couldn't keep distracting myself, and once I was looking at you, you said "Blossom, I'm sorry. I have thought about you every single day. I have felt like part of me was missing. I love you". * Molly smiles, blushing (@Morgan) and how did that go down? (Molly) I was too surprised to say anything! * @Morgan nods, sipping his coffee (Molly) "I want you to marry me" you said, very solemnly. You took out a ring box, and opened it to show me the biggest teardrop shaped stone I had ever seen. "I have my Father's consent, and your Father's consent. Be my wife and Veisgrafin, please?" (@Morgan) Seems overly formal * Molly nods (Molly) Certainly more like your second proposal than your first * @Morgan nods (Molly) I frowned, because it made no sense that you would suddenly return wanting marriage so insistently, and because I wasn't completely free to accept without hurting someone else. You leant in to kiss me, and I woke before I had decided whether I would kiss you back. (@Morgan) I see * Molly tilts her head (Molly) This troubles you? (@Morgan) No... yes... it troubles me that I would do that without finding out your... position first * Molly looks thoughtful (Molly) I... don't think I can actually recall you kissing me as spontaneously as that ever... (@Morgan) Thats depressing * Molly blushes (Molly) Is it? (@Morgan) Don't you think? (Molly) That I cannot recall? (@Morgan) That I probably haven't been that spontaneous * Molly shrugs a little (Molly) You like it to be clear what my wants are, I suppose * @Morgan nods (@Morgan) I've become somewhat reserved * Molly bows her head a little, looking at his chest (Molly) That is understandable (@Morgan) maybe (@Morgan) it is not necessarily how I _wish_ to be though (Molly) It is what it is, liebling. You are who you are now. And I love you as you are. *she smiles, but there's solemnity in it still* (@Morgan) Perhaps * Molly bites her lip a moment (Molly) I suppose I just assumed that your... lack of initiation in that regard was a combination of wariness of overstepping the bounds of propriety, and also that I did not inspire that in you... (@Morgan) The former, to begin with... the latter, never. Its that I am just more... reticent than I was when I was younger * Molly looks briefly undecided a moment, then smiles (Molly) Well, we've managed well enough these last ten weeks, it's not much of an issue really * Molly shrugs, and though it would look nonchalant to anyone else, he can see a solemnity in her micro-expressions (@Morgan) clearly it is * Molly looks at him (Molly) I love you, you love me. We are building a life together. That is what matters. I know how difficult being spontaneous is, how much courage it takes. That doesn't come naturally to you, and I understand that. * @Morgan sighs, nodding (Molly) I... *she sighs too* I do not know what you wish me to say? Do you wish me to be providing encouragement to change, or providing support in that this is how things are and that is alright? (@Morgan) but it isn't alright (Molly) Is isn't alright for me, or it isn't alright for you? (@Morgan) either... you're clearly not getting as much affection as you desire or deserve (Molly) **There's a knock at the door* * Molly sighs, removing herself from his lap and picking her tea back up (Molly) Come in (Molly) **Claudia comes in. She looks at Morgan* I've come to get Molly for training (@Morgan) that reminds me... Molly, Claudia thinks you need to be more violent * Molly looks a little surprised (Molly) C: *she looks at Molly* You're holding back. You can't do that in a fight. (@Morgan) Lets be fair, Claudia, against most people in training, thats a necessity (Molly) C: In training, yes. And in an actual fight it could get her killed. * Molly finishes her tea (Molly) I'll get my sword. (@Morgan) as I said, against most people in training... *he looks at Molly* she doesn't count as most people * Molly nods (Molly) I'll do my best * Molly goes into the bedroom to find her sword belt ** You're now known as Claudia * Claudia watches her go (Claudia) I don't train women often. They're too soft. * @Morgan opens his mouth then shuts it again * Claudia watches him, eyes narrowing slightly (Claudia) That never gets in the way of my training (@Morgan) I wasn't thinking it did... (Claudia) Good. (@Morgan) I was simply thinking them being soft was something you liked in other circumstanced * Claudia just watches him, this is clearly a sensitive subject. Molly comes back in, watching between them * @Morgan watches Claudia * Claudia doesn't back down from it, only looking away when the door clicks closed behind Molly * @Morgan shrugs suddenly (@Morgan) unless I'm wrong (Claudia) You're not wrong, it's just... Not something I talk about. (@Morgan) Very well Claudia. We'll talk later * Claudia is noticeably trying to drop her defensiveness (Claudia) Alright *she inclines her head before leaving* ** You're now known as CaptUlysses * CaptUlysses appears, jumping up on the couch and nearly spilling Morgan's luke-warm tea (@Morgan) You, my furry friend, could have done with being a minute earlier... or making your presence known when I've got a cup * CaptUlysses meows at him (CaptUlysses) **A few minutes later, he feels hisbsensw of Molly completely disappear again, for longer than before* * @Morgan takes a deep breath, trying not to worry (CaptUlysses) **it's a good minute of complete silence** (@Morgan) What do you think, Captain, should I be worried? (CaptUlysses) ((Does he try to read her?)) (@Morgan) ((yeah)) * CaptUlysses walks into his lap, his sharp claws baking bread in his thigh * @Morgan fusses the cat (CaptUlysses) **He starts to be able to find her again. He can also feel that with her intended calm is a growing feeling of anger that she's almost building on, cultivating it until it's white hot* * @Morgan sips his tea (CaptUlysses) **This doesn't change for as long as He reads her, and is completely different to that sensual awareness she usually expected to cultivate** (CaptUlysses) ((He has the option of staying put or going to watch the training)) (@Morgan) ((and leave Varick alone)) (CaptUlysses) ((It's an option, I didn't say what he would do lol)) * @Morgan stays where he is, drinking his nearly cold tea (CaptUlysses) **He is sat alone with the sleeping cat for about twenty minutes before Varick appears from his room, looking around. He makes a beeline for Morgan, then sits beside him and strokes the cat* ** You're now known as Varick (Varick) Dreamt about the ghost ship again. (@Morgan) oh? (Varick) All the ghosts had been chopped up. Some had blood spurting out. It was quite nasty. *he seems quite calm* (@Morgan) Sounds deeply unpleasant (Varick) Can't hurt me, just a dream (@Morgan) aye, still... not nice * Varick shrugs (Varick) I dream nice things sometimes. Sometimes I see my Daddy (@Morgan) thats nice * Varick nods (Varick) I can hug him again (@Morgan) in your dreams? * Varick nods (Varick) He's not real though, because he's in heaven. But I can hug my memory-Daddy * @Morgan nods (Varick) Can we practice my Avalonian now? * @Morgan nods (@Morgan) absolutely we can (Varick) **that's what they do for a little while. Just like before, Claudia brings Molly's sword back, putting it out of Varick's reach. She also has a jug of coffee and some cups. She brings one to Morgan, tipping her head in a way that implies it's a bit of an olive branch * @Morgan takes it, thanking her (Varick) C: She says she'll be back in a little while, she's gone up on deck again * @Morgan nods (@Morgan) it gives her some peace (Varick) C: *she smiles a little* Your pep talk did the trick (@Morgan) oh? (Varick) C: I didn't realise she had the potential to be that violent and angry. I * @Morgan nods (Varick) C: Reminds me a bit of the Freiarr's wife I was secretly training whilst training his guards when I was in Rheinpfalz ((He knows this must be Freiarrin Rheinpfalz, whose first name is Hannalore)) (@Morgan) Hannalore? (Varick) C: You know her? * Varick is playing with the cat and a cotton reel ** You're now known as Claudia (@Morgan) to a point, aye (Claudia) C: Absolute wild cat. *she smiles* (@Morgan) so I'm given to understand (Claudia) C: Her husband is dull. It's not a passionate marriage at all. (@Morgan) Her real love is believed to have died... (Claudia) C: Unfortunate. She's got too much spirit for a dullard like him. * @Morgan shrugs slightly (@Morgan) How close are you and she? (Claudia) C: *she shrugs, slightly evasively* Not at all now * @Morgan watches her a moment (@Morgan) he's not dead (Claudia) C: *she looks shocked* It's been six years. * @Morgan nods (Claudia) C: *she shakes her head* Hannalore would have gotten word of it. She has retainers living in the land that was Mannheim (@Morgan) I'm not sure... he's keeping himself rather quiet (Claudia) C: why? (@Morgan) Because he's labouring under the belief that her husband can provide for her better, doesn't mistreat her (@Morgan) and she'd probably beat her true love to death if she discovered he was still alive * Claudia grimaces (Claudia) The last part is almost certain. She probably could too, she's got a natural talent for it. (@Morgan) No doubt made much sharper by your training (Claudia) Yes. She'd regret it afterwards. *she frowns a little* She's good at that. * @Morgan watches her for a moment (Claudia) Yes. (@Morgan) I wasn't wondering. I was trying to decide how to steer the conversation away from something you're not comfortable discussing (Claudia) He's not going to go to her? (@Morgan) No... he says he cant give her the security or lifestyle she deserves (@Morgan) which I have to say doesn't sit well with me at all * Claudia shrugs (Claudia) She has expensive tastes * @Morgan nods (Claudia) [Is Claudia with you?] (@Morgan) [aye blossom] (Claudia) Are you going to tell her? (Claudia) [Can you ask her to look after Varick? We need to talk.] (@Morgan) Perversely, given my inclination that love is worth dealing with that sort of thing for, I don't think its my place * Claudia shrugs * @Morgan stretches (Claudia) Your call. (@Morgan) Would you mind watching the young man here, I want to speak to Molly * Claudia nods (Claudia) That's fine * @Morgan gets up, tousling the boys hair (@Morgan) I'll be back soon (Claudia) **He's more interested in showing off to Claudia that he has taught Captain Ulysses some tricks* * @Morgan heads off to find Molly ** You're now known as Molly (Molly) **He finds her by her direction, that she is in one of the cabins** (@Morgan) You wanted to talk? * Molly looks serious (Molly) I do. But I'm not sure I'm not going to make a complete mess of it (@Morgan) Have at it then, lets get it done * Molly takes a deep breath, squaring her shoulders (Molly) You recall in Paan, when everything started there because I was running my hand up your leg to make you repeat what you had said about certain people having sex? (@Morgan) I recall that happening, yes (Molly) You challenged me, when I said if I had heard I would have no excuse, as to whether I needed an excuse, and I said I did... * @Morgan nods (Molly) I did need an excuse. Like in Picante with distracting you from listening to the document. Like in the carriage with saying about making the cake rise. Like the three thousand guilder kiss. I have always needed an excuse, made it into a game... * Molly watches his expression (@Morgan) right... (Molly) The only time I didn't, was in the stable. * @Morgan nods (Molly) I make it into a game because it gives me a way out. You do not like to initiate, and I cannot read your receptiveness at all, even after all these months. It protects me from getting hurt as much (@Morgan) I see * Molly sighs (Molly) That isn't ideal. (@Morgan) No... (Molly) Games can be fun, of course, but I do not want it to always be that way. * @Morgan nods (Molly) I suppose I have hoped that with time and effort, I would be appealing enough that I wasn't so insecure about this. But I haven't always felt like I am appealing enough, or that you are very keen on being intimate with me... (@Morgan) because of my reticence and reserve... * Molly nods a little (Molly) And because I cannot read you (@Morgan) I don't see there's anything I can do about that (Molly) No, I know, liebling. * Molly fiddles with the Sudlache ring (Molly) I am not even sure exactly what I am trying to say... (@Morgan) It would help if you did blossom * Molly nods (Molly) I know. It's not easy. (@Morgan) I'm sure it isn't (Molly) I suppose I need you to know that yes, I am a little heartsore about it, even though you had forewarned me months ago. (@Morgan) and what would you have me do about it? (Molly) I wouldn't have you do anything, because it would be to please me, not from your natural desire (@Morgan) You clearly weren't listening to me earlier * Molly frowns a little (Molly) In what regard? (@Morgan) It isn't a lack of desire, or a wish not to be intimate... I am not reluctant, I am... reserved, unsure of myself. * Molly watches him (Molly) But _why_? What are you so afraid of with me...? (@Morgan) its not with you... Years of trying not to feel anything is very difficult to overcome, and years of trying not to show any is even harder to undo (Molly) You can appreciate, I hope, why it would feel like it is a problem with me specifically? * @Morgan sighs (@Morgan) you seem to be forgetting how I am with other people.... * Molly shrugs slightly (Molly) That is not the same (@Morgan) and you're missing the point * Molly watches him (Molly) Then please, restate it (@Morgan) I'm trying... I've come a long way, and while I realise there is further to go, you seem to have given up caring about how far I've come and how difficult it has been * Molly looks deeply pained (Molly) You are right. I am sorry. (@Morgan) I understand your feelings, but I think perhaps you are not taking mine into account * Molly nods (Molly) Yes, I see that (@Morgan) so I ask again, what would you have me do? * Molly looks upset (Molly) I would have you keep loving me and making love to me as much as you can tolerate, within the limits that you have, and whilst it is not detrimental to your well-being (@Morgan) come here * Molly does so * @Morgan wraps his arms around her, kissing her forehead (@Morgan) it is never that I do not want you * Molly tucks herself against him (Molly) And I will work on accepting that (@Morgan) Its not only you that worries that your advances may not be wanted * Molly shakes her head (Molly) That is never, ever the case, unfortunately. It would be easier if I did not want you every moment of every day (@Morgan) and yet it is still something that makes me hesitant (Molly) Have I ever given you cause to think that? (@Morgan) No (Molly) I will never refuse you, liebes herz. (@Morgan) that doesn't mean you _want_ to (Molly) But I do. Incessantly. * Molly moves back fractionally to watch his expression a moment (Molly) It saddens me that you are afraid of my desire, that you doubt it (@Morgan) yet you doubt mine, despite my telling you repeatedly it is there * Molly frowns slightly (Molly) What would you have _me_ do? * @Morgan laughs (@Morgan) I don't know because I'm not sure I'm comfortable yet with myself knowing it * Molly nods slowly (Molly) I am torn between doing what I feel I should, to protect you, and my very nature, which I am still discovering is very deeply passionate and very fond of sex (@Morgan) somewhere along the middle ground perhaps? (Molly) I don't even know what that would look like. I am somewhat lost in this regard (@Morgan) I'm not sure I do either * Molly watches solemnly (Molly) Do you think we rushed in to this? To marriage and sex? (@Morgan) I don't believe so, no (Molly) I just worry that you needed more time, that maybe you weren't ready (@Morgan) I believe this is the second time, if not the third I'm forced to ask if you regret it (Molly) No... I don't regret marrying you. (@Morgan) Then I suggest we stop looking at that question and move forward * Molly nods a little (Molly) That is the only direction there is when back is not an option (@Morgan) indeed (@Morgan) though that sounds like you wish back _was_ an option * Molly shakes her head (Molly) No... (@Morgan) but... (Molly) But nothing. I don't like any discussion that involves turning back time. (@Morgan) Well there we are then (Molly) Yes. Here we are. (Molly) Perhaps we should put a pin in you telling me about your dream until things are easier. (@Morgan) it was very complicated anyway (Molly) More complicated than mine? (@Morgan) sorry, wasn't (Molly) No, but intimate... And maybe now is a bad time for that (@Morgan) maybe * Molly steps back, squaring her shoulders a little (Molly) We should get back and relieve Claudia * Molly moves away to pick up the lamp * @Morgan nods * Molly takes a deep breath, and then opens the door * Molly speaks quietly (Molly) There's an irony here... (@Morgan) oh? (Molly) We had concerns that you rescinding your forbidance would lead them to conflict over intimacy... * @Morgan nods (@Morgan) I suppose that is ironic * Molly nods, extinguishing the lamp, the corridor barely lit, and she leads the way towards the study (Molly) It would be laughable, if it weren't so sad (@Morgan) we'll get past it * Molly nods (Molly) I think so (@Morgan) I'm sure we will * Molly just nods again * Molly pauses just before the study door, taking another deep breath (Molly) Okay, let's see what the rest of the day has in store * @Morgan nods (@Morgan) lets * Molly opens the door into the study ** Morgan has quit (Quit: This computer has gone to sleep) ** You are now disconnected ------------------------------ Logging started for Blitzed:#7thseaic on Tuesday, 9 February 2021 17:25:03 Greenwich Mean Time ------------------------------ ** You have joined #7thseaic (Molly) *Claudia goes to do more crew training and Morgan goes with her, as he's not practised in days. About an hour passes, and Claudia gives him ten challenging minutes at the end of it to help him blow off some steam, the crew watching, impressed. Then he goes back to the study. (Molly) Molly and Varick are drawing and painting, coffee for the grown ups and hot chocolate for Varick. Molly glances up from what she is doing, giving him a quick smile. (@Morgan) Whats occurring? (Molly) We are just being creative, do you wish to join us? (@Morgan) aye I can do (Molly) He is given things to draw with by Varick, and they all settle into silence. (Molly) **He can feel Molly is thinking, though nothing spills over. He can try to read what she's thinking, watch her micro-expressions, or get on with his sketching** * @Morgan tries to pick up whats on her mind * Molly appears to be mulling over their unexpected conflict in great detail, giving him the option of concentrating harder on it, or withdrawing from it * @Morgan concentrates (Molly) ((Let me know if he stops)) (Molly) You know what is at the root of that, don't you Moll? Its just jealousy. And there's no point thinking about that. What happened with Evie, and what would have happened with Siobahn is neither relevant nor your business! (Molly) {Jealousy} (Molly) **he can feel Varick watching him a moment* * @Morgan looks at him (Molly) ((Is he drawing, or just trying to concentrate?)) (@Morgan) ((doodling)) (Molly) V: what are you drawing? (@Morgan) Nothing in particular (Molly) *In her thoughts*...Besides, you have seen the strength of his desire many, many times. That is not because you've coaxed him. He has made it very clear that desire is not the issue, initiating and being open in his feelings are. It's a consequence of what happened, and it isn't about you. (Molly) V: *He shrugs, going back to his drawing* (Molly) So what do you want, what do you need, and how will you work towards those without damaging him? (Molly) {Puzzle solving} *she also pauses a moment to draw some more* * @Morgan watches her for a moment * Molly glances at him a moment, pencil paused. She looks surprised to see him watching her, and blushes a little * Molly smiles as she goes back to her drawing, her thoughts taking a moment to reappear (Molly) I want him to touch me. I might even go as far as to say I need that. But nothing elaborate. Maybe like in Fischler, when he touched my cheek when we were talking. To know that he looks at me and wants that contact, wants that closeness. (Molly) {Wistfulness} * Molly draws in some more lines, redefining previous ones (Molly) And what about sex...? *she briefly glances up at him again whilst she thinks on this* * @Morgan is still watching her * Molly blushes again, smiling at him a little before industriously returning to her drawing (Molly) Whilst it would be nice if he would just sweep me up and start things, that is not a need. Providing I see his desire once I initiate, I can keep doing that until it feels more normal. I tried being in control to see if that's what he likes, if that's what changed at the stable… (Molly) {Desire} (Molly) But it wasn't, was it? No, perhaps what changed at the stable was that I took the pressure and second guessing off with my forceful initiation. That let him show me his undeniable desire. I can do that. It doesn't have to be a game, it can be blatant. (Molly) And maybe he wants that? * Molly glances at him again, puzzling on it as she watches him, half-heartedly adding some shading * @Morgan glances at his paper, frowning (Molly) He looks troubled. This is not good. I've obviously hurt him, and I had no intention to even start a discussion about his reserve * Molly sighs slightly, drawing again * @Morgan screws up the paper, getting a fresh sheet (Molly) You're getting distracted, Moll. Okay, I can do that. I will lead, and I will be patient, and I will remember that the fact he cannot be like that with me is not because I am me, but because of how he had to survive. Creating the spark is not the end of the world, as long as there will be explosions (Molly) *she suddenly smiles to herself, raising her eyebrows* (Molly) No pun intended. *she uses an eraser a moment* I think he wants to improve this. It can't be easy for him, and I wonder if me being courted in the dream made it worse, made him feel less like he is giving me what I need? I don't think he is choosing to reserve that old part of himself from me. **she watches him again* * @Morgan stares intently at the page, drawing a few curved lines (Molly) God, he is so appealing when he is that focused! *he can see her fidget from the corner of his eye* (Molly) ((Can he manage to force himself not to blush? Lol)) * @Morgan starts humming quietly (Molly) Okay, so how? Maybe just be as bold as possible? Stop making choices about my actions based on what I can read from him, and assume that those lack of cues don't mean disinterest or wanting space. Assume it means he is open, not closed. Do what _I_ wish, and let him realise that if we are to come through this, there may be times where he needs to work with me and support me in taking the lead when it isn't natural. * Molly draws a few short lines before glancing at him again * @Morgan works on some shading (Molly) Is it unnatural for me to be in charge of sex? (Molly) *she frowns a little* * Molly turns the page a little to tackle it from a different angle (Molly) Yes. I like to be taken. I like to submit to his desire. But that happens regardless, even when I initiate. Look at the tree. I encouraged that by making it clear I was imagining having sex with him against a tree, or in the grass. I started it in Paan, but he had a blissful amount of control and dominance * Molly 's thoughts go quiet for a few moments, virtually disappearing entirely * Molly is smiling, blushing and pinching her lip, looking back to him (Molly) ((Is he still drawing, or watching her?)) (@Morgan) ((drawing)) (Molly) Its not that he only desires you Enough. He wants you, like in Seeufer, like in Paan. He just needs you to help him take his suit of armour off. You don't need to tease or coax it out of him... *she corrects her drawing again* (Molly) Although, there is something to be said for causing his arousal by being playful… (Molly) **There's mischief in her micro-expressions, and she watches to see what he is doing ** * @Morgan is carefully drawing his guitar (Molly) [Liebes herz?] (@Morgan) [yes blossom] (Molly) [Did you ever finger paint as a child?] (@Morgan) [Probably] * Molly smiles to herself, shading her paper (Molly) [I suspect it could be quite fun as an adult too, Mon petit chou…] (@Morgan) [how so?] (Molly) *she sends him the image of her sat on a sheet-covered desk, naked. He's stood fully dressed between her legs, his paint covered fingers leaving coloured lines on her cheek as they trail down it towards her chin. His paintless thumb firmly runs along her soft lower lip as she looks up at him with her big blue eyes, pupils dilated, her breath shallow and fast against his digit* (Molly) **she withdraws the image, smiling to herself, and goes back to her drawing** * @Morgan blushes, closing his eyes for a moment * Molly glances at him, smiling more, her dimples revealed (Molly) [I'll let you go back to your art, Mon petit chou] * @Morgan breathes out slowly, opening his eyes and continuing his drawing * Molly doesn't send the thought to him, but he hears from reading her "fortunately, I can multitask..." (Molly) **He picks up the image of her putting her hand over his and dragging it lightly down her neck, across her collar bone and down her breastbone, leaving four clear lines of multicoloured paint* * Molly doesn't look up, focusing her eyes and fingers on her work ((Does he withdraw from reading her?)) (@Morgan) ((yeah)) * Molly is quiet for a while as they draw, but any occassional glances show the blush remains on her cheeks (Molly) V: **He is the first to finish about fifteen minutes later** I'm done with my drawing (@Morgan) what've you got there? (Molly) *Varick turns it around to show him. He has drawing Claudia, putting her in a dress, her hair fashionable and feminine. She looks relaxed, and is smiling. Even Morgan has never seen her as soft and at ease as that. She is really very pretty.* (Molly) V: what do you think? (@Morgan) very good * Molly looks up, and Varick shows her (Molly) Oh! Wow, Mauschen, that's wonderful. She looks beautiful, don't you think, liebling? *she glances at him* (Molly) *Varick looks proud* (@Morgan) she does indeed (Molly) V: will she like it? (Molly) [I dare say Sorgi would...] (@Morgan) Its... tough to say... she can be quite unusual about things like that (Molly) V: *he shrugs* okay. What are you drawing? (@Morgan) just my guitar (Molly) V: *He comes round to look* it's good (Molly) *He goes to see what Molly is drawing* I know that place! *She smiles* That's good, I've obviously improved if you can recognise it! (Molly) **Varick gets her to show Morgan. She watches his reaction carefully. Its a drawing of the stream and trees where they stopped for lunch outside Atemlos, including the tree beneath which Morgan spent his seed upon the earth and fallen leaves. As usual, her drawing leaves a lot to be desired, but he can see improvement * @Morgan raises an eyebrow (@Morgan) definitely improving (Molly) I tried to remember the details whilst we were there * Molly manages to look entirely innocent * @Morgan nods slowly (@Morgan) indeed * Molly stretches (Molly) I think it must be time for Varick's tea (@Morgan) probably, aye (Molly) **Varick's teatime and bedtime, followed by the grown ups dinner time comes and goes. Molly heads to their room, leaving him and Claudia in the dinning room with blokners* ** You're now known as Claudia * Claudia pours them each a tankard of blokners, careful to keep it away from the lamp. The ship is still now, anchor dropped for the night. She pushes him the deck to deal for poker. (Claudia) You wanted to talk? * @Morgan nods, shuffling before flinging cards to her (@Morgan) I've been thinking * Claudia looks at them (Claudia) Go on (@Morgan) I don't want you to leave at Freiburg * Claudia nods (Claudia) Yes *she puts down three cards* * @Morgan deals her three more before looking at his own cards, swapping two (@Morgan) And I think there's only one way for that to happen * Claudia reveals a flush on spade (Claudia) Go on * @Morgan puts his cards down, two pair (@Morgan) and thats to rescind my prohibition. * Claudia waits for him to deal again * @Morgan does so (Claudia) I think that would be the safest way to be sure I don't break my word. (@Morgan) There are other ways? * Claudia sighs (Claudia) We're doing our best... * Claudia throws two * @Morgan deals (@Morgan) You needn't. I'm concerned about any conflict that may arise, but should that happen we will deal with it. I'm more concerned that it may damage the obvious bond the two of you have built (Claudia) There will be nothing to deal with. We are both professionals. We are friends, that won't change (@Morgan) I hope you're right (Claudia) I've kept friendships afterwards with... people. (@Morgan) That you've been drawn to so inexorably? * @Morgan swaps one card * Claudia shakes her head (Claudia) It's out of character for me. I don't ever question my self control. (@Morgan) and thats why I'm... concerned, rather than worried. Because its out of character, so the possible outcomes may be different * Claudia nods (Claudia) I understand the concern. But sometimes, the only option is to part ways, because there is an undeniable connection that is going to lead to broken resolve. *she shrugs* you've been married twice, you know that * @Morgan nods (@Morgan) I mean even if the requirement for the resolve was removed. (Claudia) Everything in life comes with risk... * @Morgan nods * Claudia seems to have forgotten they're playing cards (Claudia) My word is important to me. When I make a vow, I mean it. I didn't see this attraction coming when I made you that promise in whatever place that tavern was in (@Morgan) I don't want it affecting the running of the ship, and I'd hate to see it ruining your friendship with him, or mine... but do as you will. I won't hold you to my demand any longer * Claudia inclines her head (Claudia) It won't affect the ship, or either of our friendships with you. And we care enough for each other to look out for each other's feelings more than our own (@Morgan) I hope so... (Claudia) Do you trust me? (@Morgan) with my life (Claudia) Do you trust Sorgi? (@Morgan) of course (Claudia) Then trust us to be mature about this. (@Morgan) I do... but I'm proof that things don't always go as you expect... but I hope they do * Claudia downs half the tankard (Claudia) It will be fine * @Morgan nods, laying down a full house before drinking * Claudia takes over shuffling. She doesn't say much of anything whilst they play, leaving him the choice to quietly spend time with her or raise a topic (@Morgan) I need to overcome this... reserve that I have (Claudia) What reserve? (@Morgan) I am not affectionate enough * Claudia keeps the play going throughout, though they win about equally (Claudia) You mean with Molly, rather than the rest of us? Because honestly, I'm good as we are *she grins* (@Morgan) Really? I thought you'd want more cuddles... * Claudia grimaces (Claudia) No Thank you. (@Morgan) Yours loss * Claudia laughs (Claudia) You can save them for Heinzharold, you'll see him a week today (@Morgan) I am looking forward to it * Claudia watches him a minute (Claudia) Are you asking me how to be affectionate with _women_? Because that's not really what I do... (@Morgan) No... I'm asking my friend to help me be closer to the person I was before... (Claudia) Soft and unwilling to take control? ((This is an old joke, he would remember)) (@Morgan) No, that is definitely _not_ the desired outcome * Claudia drinks a mouthful of blokners, then laughs (Claudia) It's not a requirement... Anyway, how can I help? * @Morgan shrugs * Claudia frowns (@Morgan) I don't know... (Claudia) That's not very helpful (Claudia) Why aren't you affectionate? You love her, yes? (@Morgan) of course (Claudia) Where is it going wrong? I can give you bedroom advice, if I have to... (@Morgan) I'm closed off... I've spent so long keeping myself to myself, not letting anything out that I don't really know how to stop * Claudia shrugs a little (Claudia) I don't think being closed off is bad. (@Morgan) Its not helpful in a marriage (Claudia) You need Heinzharold... or even Edward. I'm not much of an open book either. * Claudia takes a deep breath, then drinks more Blokners (Claudia) Alright, what would a good marriage look like to you? (@Morgan) You're one of my best friends and sometimes I feel I don't know much of you at all * Claudia nods (Claudia) I wasn't as closed off until I went back and saw what had happened to my village whilst I was training. Things changed once I had no one. * @Morgan nods (@Morgan) You have people now (Claudia) Also, as a woman in the war, you never let your guard down for a minute, because it'll get you raped. Even casual conversation was a risk at first. So I stopped talking. After a while, I stopped feeling much other than a desire to fight. * Claudia looks even less emotional than usual, talking about this very casual, though what she hasn't said directly seems obvious * @Morgan finishes his drink before pouring more * Claudia slides her tankard to him * @Morgan tops hers up (Claudia) What do you want to know that you don't already? * @Morgan shrugs slightly (@Morgan) I just want to know you better... (Claudia) That won't help with your problem though (@Morgan) No, probably not... though if you can open up, there's hope for me yet * Claudia frowns a minute (Claudia) Did something happen today that's sparked this? (@Morgan) We had something of a discussion that highlighted the need for me to... be less guarded (Claudia) *she shrugs* Just thinking how much anger she managed to channel and how violent she was earlier. Probably coincidence. (@Morgan) I doubt it * Claudia lifts her tankard (Claudia) You ever fought her when she's angry? (@Morgan) No, though she slammed the door to my fathers office so hard it broke the jamb * Claudia laughs (Claudia) Bet he loved that! (@Morgan) He loved it even less when I kicked it through a few days later * Claudia laughs again (Claudia) You should try it. She's better angry. Reminds me of Hannalore (@Morgan) I imagine she's much more focussed * Claudia nods (Claudia) Very much * Claudia watches him specutively (Claudia) What are you doing wrong? Are you not telling her what she wants to hear? (@Morgan) Probably... not touching her enough... not being open about my desire for her... (Claudia) It doesn't cross your mind to? You're too distracted by Varick, the ship, and so on? (@Morgan) of course it crosses my mind... constantly... but it never makes it out * Claudia shrugs (Claudia) You need to train * @Morgan nods (@Morgan) I need to get over this restraint (Claudia) You ever taught someone to fight again after they're injured? (@Morgan) No, I cant say I have (Claudia) Break the hesitancy and fear with tiny steps, reward with positive feedback. Get them to just hold the sword at first * Claudia frowns (Claudia) That's not euphemism. * @Morgan laughs (@Morgan) it hadn't occurred to me until you said it wasn't one (Claudia) Maybe decided what you want to train first: is it physical touch, is it expressing desire, is it verbal? * @Morgan sighs (@Morgan) something to consider (Claudia) This is a new problem? I always just assumed you were reserved and a bit of a prude, being nobility *she grins* (@Morgan) I'm more reserved than is... normal (Claudia) Compared to what though? (@Morgan) compared to how I was * Claudia nods a little (Claudia) But she doesn't know that. And I assume she wasn't involved with anyone else before you? (@Morgan) A little, but not... intimately (Claudia) Enough to expect more than you can give though? (@Morgan) I think the fact that once I let my guard down things go very well has shown how it could be if I were more... relaxed, I suppose (Claudia) You want that? Or you feel you have to? (@Morgan) Both, I think (Claudia) If someone told they felt they had to have sword training, how good do you think they'd be at it, versus someone who _wanted_ to be trained? (Claudia) Told you* (@Morgan) its not that I don't want to improve (Claudia) Good, so do something. Why are you more scared of this than facing a charging army or taking on way more attackers than you can handle? (@Morgan) The worst that can happen there is I die * Claudia looks at him as if he's thick (Claudia) The worst that can happen here is...? (@Morgan) I disappoint her (Claudia) That's worse than dying, is it? *she looks mildly scornful* (@Morgan) I think so (Claudia) Why the hell would you marry someone who you are afraid to be a failiable human with? (@Morgan) I'd tell you, but you'd just say yuck (Claudia) Yes, probably, but I'd possibly think you were less of an idiot * @Morgan shrugs (@Morgan) Her view of me is _that_ important (Claudia) Why? * @Morgan tilts his head (@Morgan) It... just is (Claudia) Aren't you your own mental point of origin? Don't you have your own standards and make sure you meet them? * Claudia looks at him frankly (@Morgan) I have my own standards and code that I live by, of course. But if I don't meet them, its only me thats disappointed (Claudia) But you can't be vulnerable with her in case she thinks less of you? * @Morgan sighs * Claudia looks at him (Claudia) Am I wrong? (@Morgan) no (Claudia) You hung your all self-worth on Dietlinde's opinion of you too? * Claudia has clearly slipped into a mode where she isn't pulling her punches (@Morgan) A lot of my decisions are based on whether or not she and now Molly would be proud of them (Claudia) But you were not so scared of being affectionate and vulnerable with her? (@Morgan) Dietlinde? (Claudia) Yes (@Morgan) No... but I had not known how it felt to have it all ripped away (Claudia) You're holding back because if you go all in, vulnerability, affection, you are as deep in the hole as you were before if you lose her? (@Morgan) More so, I think... I don't think there'd ever be any coming back. How do you open up after closing yourself off so completely (Claudia) Because if you don't, aren't you half dead already? * @Morgan sighs * Claudia watches him (Claudia) Am I wrong? (@Morgan) I suppose not (Claudia) You want to lose her and think "Yes, this is shit but at least I held back enough that it's not uber shit "? (@Morgan) of course not (Claudia) But that's what you're doing (@Morgan) Because I don't know how to _not_ do that (Claudia) I've told you. Pick something to do, and do it. Baby steps. Reward and praise. Pick up the fucking sword. * @Morgan nods slightly (Claudia) Right, look, here's a suggestion. However close you would normally stand to her when you're talking, go six inches closer. If that means you're touching her, great. Get used to be in her personal space more. If it feels uncomfortable, push through it. * @Morgan frowns a moment (@Morgan) alright (Claudia) And for God's sake don't look so grumpy all the time..try smiling (@Morgan) There are limits... * Claudia watches him (Claudia) You want my help, or you want to be an ass? (@Morgan) I can multitask (Claudia) Make sure you're welcoming. If you can't go to her, make sure you are welcoming her if she comes to you. * @Morgan nods * Claudia swigs the blokners (Claudia) And whatever you do, do not go telling her that you used to be less of a stick in the mud and used to be more affectionate with Dietlinde. * @Morgan nods (Claudia) As for showing her your desire... You're a man, it's very straightforward. (@Morgan) I suppose so (Claudia) Much more difficult when you're a woman. Probably one of few benefits of having the appendage you have. (@Morgan) I cant say that had occurred to me * Claudia nods (Claudia) It's a benefit, but also a limit. I'll take harder to initiate if it means not being limit to once-and-you're-done. (Claudia) Limited * * @Morgan takes a mouthful of his drink, watching her * Claudia shrugs (Claudia) You wanted openness, I'm being open. (@Morgan) Did I complain? * Claudia nods (Claudia) You can't be shitting it up entirely, she obviously adores you (@Morgan) I'm an adorable sort when I'm given to lowering my defenses * Claudia shrugs (Claudia) You're tolerable (Claudia) Must be nearly 11. You should go to bed. * @Morgan nods (@Morgan) I think you're right * Claudia starts dealing solitaire (Claudia) You can leave the blokners * @Morgan swigs from the bottle before bidding her goodnight and heading to his cabin ** You are now disconnected ------------------------------ Logging started for Blitzed:#7thseaic on Wednesday, 10 February 2021 20:58:52 Greenwich Mean Time ------------------------------ ** You have joined #7thseaic ** cantillon.be.eu.blitzed.org sets mode(s) +nt ** ChanServ sets mode(s) -o Molly ** You're now known as CaptUlysses ** Morgan has joined #7thseaic ** ChanServ sets mode(s) +o Morgan (CaptUlysses) **The cat meets him in the hall and follows him. The cabin is dark, but luckily he has a lamp with him. It's become a force of habit again, though no doubt the provisioning officer would have something to say about him wandering around with a lamp. The lamp is no risk with the talent he has. If anything, a ship containing Morgan is safer from fire than any other. Unless he has awful nightmares, at least… (CaptUlysses) **there's no light from under the bedroom door either, but he spots paper on the desk* * CaptUlysses jumps up on the desk with a meow * @Morgan looks at it (CaptUlysses) **Molly has obviously been finishing her painting, it is still drying, though she is absent. She's added them to it. It's not at all indecent, but he can certainly recognise his own legs just sticking out from behind the tree. In the stream, she is stood with her modified trousers tucked up, lower legs revealed, her back to him. Beside her art is a note. * CaptUlysses walks over the note * @Morgan nudges him out of the way (CaptUlysses) "My love, if I am asleep, please know I love you, I apologise for hurting you, and we are fine. *there's an arrow pointing towards the drawing* It was a good day, with very clear and fond memories. Your blossom." * CaptUlysses is about to step on the painting, meowing again * @Morgan moves the painting (@Morgan) yes, I know, I saw it (CaptUlysses) **He can remember clearly how he'd found her in the stream, how she had gone from joking about splashing him to enraptured by him stroking himself, to climaxing around his fingers, to being giddy at what had occurred. (CaptUlysses) *He'd told her to go and paddle in the stream to gather her thoughts whilst he leant back against the tree. That must be the moment she has painted, just before he heard her thoughts slip through… "Mine" she had been thinking. He remembers it clearly. * CaptUlysses lies down on the desk * @Morgan fusses the cat (@Morgan) what are you doing up so late? * CaptUlysses purrs, starting to fall asleep * @Morgan nods slightly (@Morgan) I'm going to bed * CaptUlysses goes to sleep ** You're now known as Molly * Molly is already fast asleep when he gets there. He notices she has the holy book and her journal both on her bedside table. On his, the herbs, the oil and the balm. * @Morgan sighs, getting the herbs and oil sorted * Molly doesn't wake up as he prepares * @Morgan gets undressed and climbs into bed (Molly) **He falls asleep surprisingly easily. He starts to dream, with no idea it's a dream. He's just returned from Londinium, Xantha safely away and tended. It's dark outside now. Its a Tuesday, and the influx of Lady Torrington's guests are due from Thursday onwards. He'll have to tell Captain Tsaylur about the situation with Molly, and Evie needs to know. No doubt Kai will turn up like a proverbial bad penny. He brushes this aside. (Molly) He enters the cottage by the gatehouse, a place they have arranged for her to live as his mistress with him in. He's weary, ten days of travel with only one to see Inigo. He knows that preparations have likely been made whilst he is away, so it is no surprise to find the cottage warm and welcoming, smelling of the stew she has made. * Molly is waiting for him. He can feel the tension from her even as she comes close enough to offer to take his coat and sword belt. She's wearing a pale yellow dress with an apron on top ((done)) (@Morgan) blossom * Molly looks up at him (Molly) You must be famished, let me get you settled and fed (@Morgan) sounds good * Molly hangs his things. She spends a few minutes getting him stew, bread and ale. She seems to welcome the task and distraction. * Molly sits across the table from him, she only has cherry brandy in front of her. The cottage is warm, and she's obviously made it homely. (@Morgan) Whats occurred while I was away? * Molly slowly drinks her brandy. She looks a little neutral, but he can see the tension in her, maybe even a hint of redness around the eyes (Molly) The house and Lady Torrington are fine. Many guests have sent RSVPs, so you'll be busy... * @Morgan rolls his eyes * Molly checks to see how much he has eaten (@Morgan) You are waiting for something?> (Molly) I... *she takes a deep breath. She looks up at him with concern* I won't be here, when they come... (@Morgan) why? * Molly bites her lip hard (Molly) I'm leaving... (@Morgan) Again... why? * Molly downs what's in her glass, then refills it. She twists it round and round, and doesn't meet his eyes (Molly) I am getting married. (@Morgan) I beg your pardon? * Molly swallows hard (Molly) I am getting married. (@Morgan) Yes I heard you... to who? * Molly fiddles with her necklace. The little rose gold cross she wears is not something he has seen before, and a surprise, given that last he knew she want still following the old ways, and they avoided religious discussions because of his animosity towards his creator. (Molly) I... can't tell you. * @Morgan sighs, pushing his food away * Molly still keeps her eyes on her glass. She's not wearing any engagement ring. (Molly) I'm sorry, but I gave my word that I wouldn't tell anyone. * @Morgan watches her * Molly glances up at him to see his expression (Molly) Say something. Please. (@Morgan) What would you have me say? (Molly) Anything! *she frowns* I expected you to at least care! * @Morgan frowns (@Morgan) It would appear I'm the only one that does * Molly looks upset by this (Molly) Well you're wrong. But so much has happened whilst you've been gone! (@Morgan) in ten days... (Molly) Yes! I would have been gone already, but I didn't want to just tell you in a note (@Morgan) So you wanted to tell me in person, but now my reaction does not suit you * Molly looks tearful (Molly) Morgan... I have to leave in the morning. I don't want it to end like this (@Morgan) You wish me to be smiles and congratulations? (Molly) I wish you to understand that I have a chance to win my family back... to make my Father proud of me (@Morgan) I understand. * Molly looks at his bowl (Molly) You should eat, please. It's been a long journey (@Morgan) I've lost my appetite * Molly frowns, voice becoming softer (Molly) Please, liebes herz... liebling ((neither has used this before)) * @Morgan frowns (@Morgan) since when do you speak Eisen? (Molly) I've been expanding on what you taught me when we went to Carleon... * Molly blushes a bit (@Morgan) Given that you are about to leave me to marry someone else, you think those names are fair? * Molly sighs (Molly) I can't help that I love you. You have no idea how painful it is to love someone who doesn't love you and can't love you (@Morgan) You've a funny way of showing it (Molly) I have a _duty_. * Molly looks at him (Molly) My Father wants this, as does his. It's... It's complicated, but I can't let him and my mother down again. (@Morgan) Then there is nothing to be said on it * Molly stands up, taking her brandy and leaning against the cabinet (Molly) I have sorted the cottage for you. Everything you need is here * @Morgan shrugs * Molly watches him, looking unhappy (Molly) Do you want me to leave now? (@Morgan) If that is what you wish * Molly frowns deeply (Molly) You don't even care enough to tell me to go... *her voice is quiet, tone filled with horror and puzzlement * (@Morgan) I don't _want_ you to go, I don't _want_ you to leave... but in ten days you've decided to leave me and marry someone and won't tell me who, so clearly what I _want_ matters little. (Molly) I have a _duty_! Can't you understand that I _must_ do this?! *she puts her glass heavily on the table* (@Morgan) Then do it, but stop expecting me to play along nicely (Molly) Or don't play along nicely! Raise your voice, storm out, raise your hand to me if that would please you, but for the love of God just show me some emotion other than disinterest! (@Morgan) For what purpose? It'll change nothing. * Molly looks angry (Molly) Because then I won't feel like this was nothing to you! Like _I_ was nothing to you! (@Morgan) So, while hurting me and leaving, you wish me to make you feel better... * Molly slams her glass down on the table (Molly) Do what you please. I think it's time I left. (@Morgan) If that is what you wish * Molly walks into the parlour, then returns with her packed bag (Molly) For what it's worth, I'm sorry it had to end this way (@Morgan) It didn't _have_ to. (Molly) It did. I need to fix what was broken and make my family love me. And maybe he'll be nice... maybe I can have children, some status... be a wife... * @Morgan sighs (@Morgan) I hope you can find happiness * Molly takes down her cloak and wraps it around herself (Molly) And I you. I'll think of you everyday... (@Morgan) I think my chance of finding it has passed now * Molly shakes her head (Molly) You're going to find someone you can love, one day. (@Morgan) I already had, but it seems that doesn't matter * Molly picks up her bag, breathing slowly, tears in her eyes (Molly) I know you had. And until you can heal enough to love properly again, it'll never be enough. Take care, Morgan. I'll write from Eisen. *she opens the door* (@Morgan) Tell me its not Kai (Molly) No, it's not Kai. It's not someone you or I have met yet (@Morgan) Since the die is cast, I see no point in trying to convince you * Molly moves to step through into the pitch black night "Goodbye, Morgan" *she sounds as if she's going to cry, so she walks away* (Molly) **The dawn watch chimes, and he awakens in a room as dark as the night outside the cottage that was to then be his alone** * @Morgan reaches out to touch Molly * Molly murmurs softly, then rolls towards him, snuggling into his chest * Molly says quietly (Molly) Are you alright? (@Morgan) just a bad dream, I needed to touch you, thats all * Molly wraps an arm over his waist and a leg over the closest one of his (Molly) I'm here, always * @Morgan nods * Molly listens to his heart and breathing (@Morgan) I'll tell you abut it later...I need to see the sunrise (Molly) Alright liebling *she moves away* * @Morgan kisses the top of her head before getting out of bed * Molly starts to drift off again. Just as he's leaving, she mutters "If I ever catch you kissing her or anyone else like that again, a slap will be the least of your problems" * @Morgan speaks quietly (@Morgan) and we'll discuss _that_ later, too * Molly doesn't answer. Captain Ulysses is gone from the desk, and Claudia on deck is the next person he sees in the half light, gentle breeze making the air cool. She watch his approach ** You're now known as Claudia (Claudia) Morning * @Morgan nods (@Morgan) it is (Claudia) ((Expression?)) * Claudia is leant on the guard rail as she sizes him up (Claudia) Sleep well? (@Morgan) Not especially (Claudia) Still brooding about the Molly thing? (@Morgan) Probably (Claudia) Wanna talk? (@Morgan) just a bad dream thats a manifestation of what my reserve will breed (Claudia) Cheerful (Claudia) You need to go and sort it out before you start your watch? (@Morgan) No, it'll be fine (Claudia) **he's due in the crows nest 8-12, it's around 6:30 now* * Claudia nods (Claudia) Sorgis on the forenoon with you * @Morgan nods (@Morgan) You wish me to speak with him? (Claudia) No, we're good. Spoke after you went to bed, he was coming off first watch ((8-midnight)) * @Morgan nods (@Morgan) very well (Claudia) Nothing happened... * @Morgan shrugs (Claudia) You want _me_ to talk to Molly about your reserve? (@Morgan) So you can tell her I'm an ass? (Claudia) **the sun starts to rise over montaigne* (Claudia) I could tell her that anyway (@Morgan) You think it'd help? (Claudia) No, I think it'd be hideously embarssing for us both (@Morgan) I appreciate the offer, then, but no (Claudia) Thank god for that! * Claudia grins * Claudia watches the dawn. It looks like an overcast but dry day is coming. (Claudia) You should go and train. Your wife is getting better than you. * @Morgan frowns before nodding and heading off to train * Claudia can be heard lugging quietly in his wake (Claudia) Laughing * ** You are now disconnected