**** BEGIN LOGGING AT Fri May 16 17:17:07 2025 May 16 17:17:07 * Morgan (~mads@192.168.1.192) has joined May 16 19:00:10 * Molly (~u931732@192.168.1.101) has joined May 16 19:01:36 * Molly nods, smiling. She catches a particular spot that feels even better than the rest, threatening to take him way past the pleasure and towards a climax of his own May 16 19:01:36 * Morgan flinches, moaning May 16 19:01:36 Did that hurt? May 16 19:01:36 Quite the opposite... May 16 19:01:36 ohhh... *she smiles, her other hand stroking his neck gently* Would you like some magic, so you can enjoy it? May 16 19:01:41 * Morgan nods May 16 19:01:43 I think so May 16 19:01:45 *his neck prickles, and then she takes the brush over that place again* here? May 16 19:01:47 * Morgan nods May 16 19:01:49 Aye May 16 19:01:51 * Molly nods, and works at that spot slowly but accurately May 16 19:01:53 * Morgan rolls his eyes back, moaning May 16 19:01:55 * Molly bites her lip, and does it again and again, spell-bound May 16 19:01:57 Like this? May 16 19:01:59 * Morgan nods a little May 16 19:02:01 Mmhmm May 16 19:02:03 * Molly keeps going, the strokes even, fast enough not to give any let up, and firm enough to send him hurtling towards bliss May 16 19:02:11 *The peak from the brush had been pleasant, but not nearly pleasant enough to cool the desire, only to heat it. So it had been a relief when she’d stopped, put her right hand to the left side of his neck and gently traced his Adam’s apple as she’d kissed his neck MTF May 16 19:04:35 *She’d told him she wanted him, whispered it in his ear before softly kissing his neck. This had been good, promising for a good night ahead. When she’d bitten him there, and said she had tired of being good and simply wished to be his Good Girl, he’d swept her up and taken her to bed. MTF May 16 19:06:52 *The clock had chimed the hour twice, and the fire had started to fade in the grate before their mutual desire had calmed, and after twenty four hours of abstinence the pleasure of spending within her whilst caressing her belly had been immense. The sounds of their settling breaths as they lay in a tangle of limbs and languorous aftermath is the only sound May 16 19:07:07 * Molly murmurs “Oh wow.” May 16 19:07:14 * Morgan nods May 16 19:07:16 yeah May 16 19:07:27 * Molly smiles, eyes closed May 16 19:07:30 I missed you. May 16 19:07:41 * Morgan nods May 16 19:07:44 I know May 16 19:09:31 * Molly nods, taking his hand May 16 19:09:40 That’s too long, I think May 16 19:10:05 * Morgan nods May 16 19:10:07 aye May 16 19:10:45 Making love with you is a need for me, not just a want. May 16 19:11:02 * Morgan nods May 16 19:11:05 quite May 16 19:11:24 * Molly nods, yawning May 16 19:11:38 It is very late, and dawn is so early now... May 16 19:11:56 * Morgan nods May 16 19:11:59 indeed May 16 19:13:36 * Molly rolls to kiss him gently before leaving the bed May 16 19:14:38 * Morgan shifts to watch her May 16 19:18:02 * Molly shakes out her hair, then goes to wash her hands. Then she stands drying them in front of the remaining warmth of the fire. Her expression is happy, contented, the way it often is after she’s seen the strength of his desire and has given herself over to pleasing him. The warm light caresses her bump as his hands had. She’d make a beautiful sketch, something he’s intended to do but always not had the time and privacy for lately May 16 19:18:39 * Morgan sighs slightly May 16 19:20:16 * Molly smiles, glancing at him over her shoulder “I am coming back, my love. I am always coming back” May 16 19:20:45 I've really not been living up to my promises have I May 16 19:22:40 * Molly frowns May 16 19:22:46 what do you mean? May 16 19:23:10 I have not been as expressive as I should have been May 16 19:23:21 * Molly shrugs a little May 16 19:24:07 Everything here is so oft difficult, or painful memories. I expected it when we first came, but it has surprised me a little this time May 16 19:24:44 * Morgan nods May 16 19:24:54 So was I May 16 19:26:04 * Molly nods, coming to sit on the edge of the bed May 16 19:26:13 It makes it much harder May 16 19:26:26 * Morgan nods May 16 19:26:27 Yes it does May 16 19:26:43 You are doing your best, my love May 16 19:28:06 But it isn't enough May 16 19:29:01 It’s enough. Things will get better. Easier. May 16 19:29:31 * Morgan nods May 16 19:29:53 I hope so May 16 19:30:07 Me too. You love me, I know that. May 16 19:30:30 * Morgan nods May 16 19:30:35 I do May 16 19:30:53 * Molly nods May 16 19:31:04 And I you, liebes herz. Always. May 16 19:31:47 * Morgan nods May 16 19:31:57 We'd best get some sleep, I'll be up again soon May 16 19:33:09 * Molly nods, lying down beside him May 16 19:33:18 Shall I sing? May 16 19:36:05 please May 16 19:37:44 * Molly sings Kosk Yn Ta but she’s asleep before him, the fire glowing a little orange in the grate, and the Sudlache light dancing blue on the ceiling May 16 19:38:20 * Morgan concentrates on putting the fire out before trying to sleep May 16 19:41:13 *He manages it, and starts to dream. He’s back in the thread of Hope, almost exactly where they left it. He watches the night warily as they ride, both on Xantha, a single bag between them. Though the night air is still warm enough, he feels cold through to the core. Every little sound seems loud in the twenty minutes since they set off. Molly has been quiet, and then she says May 16 19:41:28 We cannot go on the Great South Road, can we? May 16 19:42:06 No, I don't think so May 16 19:42:23 * Molly nods slightly May 16 19:42:47 When it is so dark, how will you know what is the woods and what is the Schwarzenwald? May 16 19:42:57 I don't know May 16 19:44:39 * Molly nods again, saying nothing else. It’s going to be difficult to navigate with trees overhead so he cannot see the stars. To be safe, they’ll need to ride at least four hours, and likely have no fire. Xantha will need some rest too by then May 16 19:44:58 * Morgan slowly walks the horse into the treeline May 16 19:46:36 *Xantha doesn’t seem very happy about this. He doesn’t have any apples to bribe the horse with, no carrots, nor sugar. He’s not even sure what she threw 8n their bag whilst he threw soil on the little body she had birthed and he had given life to. His second daughter is gone. May 16 19:48:06 * Morgan rolls his shoulders, looking around May 16 19:51:34 *it’s already eerie. He’d gone this way that day so many years ago, when he was just an adolescent, before he tripped and met the first of his nightmares. The second, the fire, he’d met seven years later. Would tonight form a third, burying their child, or would it be seeing Molly unconcious and naked in the tent of those bastards, their dead child beside her? May 16 19:52:08 * Morgan scowls May 16 19:53:27 *Fortunately, the forest and the navigating start to demand his attention, and he can concentrate single-mindedly as he had in the War, only the dangers, the focus and the mission, not his own problems. May 16 19:57:55 *An hour passes whilst he picks his way through the woods, trying to stay in parallel to the road, far enough away not to be at risk of being caught, close enough that the barks they weave through will stay brown. Hours pass this way, and his wife says nothing May 16 19:58:25 * Morgan keeps watching around May 16 20:00:02 *He’s occasionally surprised by an animal, but nothing dangerous. It’s tiring, such vigilance in low light, and he’s already ridden almost constantly for two days. By the time he guesses it’s three o’clock, he’s absolutely exhausted May 16 20:00:34 * Morgan stretches, yawning May 16 20:01:03 * Molly must have been asleep, because this makes her jump May 16 20:03:04 Oh! *she sighs* Oh. May 16 20:03:57 sorry May 16 20:04:32 * Molly nods. She sounds weary, right down to the soul May 16 20:04:37 we should stop. May 16 20:05:24 probably May 16 20:06:19 *He spots a tiny clearing nearby* May 16 20:08:20 * Morgan heads for it May 16 20:10:06 *It’ll do, and the trees are still not black* May 16 20:11:24 * Morgan nods, climbing down May 16 20:11:27 This'll do May 16 20:12:26 * Molly just nods numbly May 16 20:13:45 * Morgan helps her down May 16 20:14:34 * Molly gets down, just looking around them May 16 20:15:03 We need to eat and rest before we move on May 16 20:15:51 I’m not hungry May 16 20:16:19 I'm afraid its not up for discussion. May 16 20:18:10 * Molly doesn’t respond, but goes to Xantha, stroking his face gently. The horse’s ears flick with puzzlement, but he’s also ridden far longer than Morgan would normally let him, so he bows his head and lets her May 16 20:20:18 * Morgan watches around May 16 20:20:40 *it looks safe enough, as much as the woods at night could be* May 16 20:22:23 We won't be able to light a fire May 16 20:22:52 No May 16 20:26:26 * Molly gestures for the bag. “bread, cheese, and water.” May 16 20:27:01 * Morgan nods, getting some out and bringing some to her May 16 20:28:27 *In there is also a spare shirt for him, a spare shift, a comb, a blanket, and the little cotton dress Hope had been wearing when he left them at home to go and see where Adalbrecht’s overseer was May 16 20:30:49 * Morgan pulls out the blanket May 16 20:30:52 * Molly takes the food quietly May 16 20:32:24 * Molly sits on a fallen tree, food in her hands. There’s barely any breeze here, but enough that it doesn’t feel like it did when the Schattenmann came May 16 20:33:48 * Morgan moves to sit beside her May 16 20:34:48 * Molly eats a little May 16 20:35:00 I have slept. You should sleep. May 16 20:36:01 * Morgan nods, eating a little May 16 20:36:02 I should May 16 20:38:40 * Molly nods. They’re going to have to find something to eat tomorrow, either venturing out onto the road and hoping to be far enough from trouble, or kill and cook something in the woods. They’ve probably got another full day of travel before they emerge from the woods to join the road that would eventually take them to Graben May 16 20:39:42 * Morgan leans against a tree May 16 20:39:55 We'll have to keep our eyes open for something we can catch and eat tomorrow May 16 20:40:45 * Molly nods “Alright” May 16 20:44:46 * Morgan sighs, finishing eating May 16 20:44:52 * Molly finishes the food, and drinks some of their limited water May 16 20:44:59 I’ll keep watch. May 16 20:45:44 Wake me without hesitation, alright? May 16 20:46:49 If there’s any danger at all, I will May 16 20:47:05 * Morgan nods May 16 20:47:07 Alright May 16 20:47:19 * Molly nods, watching the night May 16 20:50:31 I’ll wake you in a while? May 16 20:50:53 * Morgan nods May 16 20:50:59 An hour or two May 16 20:51:08 * Molly nods May 16 20:51:10 I will. May 16 20:52:13 * Morgan nods a little, handing her the blanket May 16 20:52:28 Take it, you’ll be cold when you sleep May 16 20:53:21 Its fine May 16 20:54:32 * Molly shrugs, looking too numb to argue May 16 20:54:45 * Morgan looks around before closing his eyes May 16 20:58:30 *he falls asleep quickly. He dreams in snatches, flames and screams, Dietlinde and Jana, a feeling of choking, tight hands around his neck, hands roaming over his bare skin, Hope crying and being unable to reach her, until suddenly they stopped. The ways the screams in the fire stopped. The feel of not being able to draw breath, and the last sight of the lifeless baby before unconsciousness sweeps in to the background of cruel, lusty male laughter. He awakens May 16 20:59:11 * Morgan draws a ragged breath, looking around May 16 20:59:38 * Molly is sat further away with her back to him, sobbing quietly May 16 21:00:19 * Morgan gets up, moving to her May 16 21:01:27 * Molly doesn’t hear him move, and flinches reflexively when she releases that someone is behind her May 16 21:01:44 Hey, its alright... its just me May 16 21:03:14 * Molly nods. In the small amount of moonlight that penetrates the trees, he sees a shiny puddle in front of her feet May 16 21:04:16 Come on, its time for you to rest May 16 21:04:28 I can’t, not yet. May 16 21:05:51 You have to May 16 21:06:29 I’m still... *she makes a half sob* My breasts... they don’t understand where she is May 16 21:07:00 * Morgan nods May 16 21:07:03 I understand May 16 21:07:52 * Molly nods, her voice so full of pain “She doesn’t need the milk...” May 16 21:08:06 * Morgan nods, putting his arm around her shoulder May 16 21:08:09 I know May 16 21:09:32 * Molly nods, quiet a moment. From beneath the blanket, he sees several more drops join the rest of the wasted milk on the ground May 16 21:09:47 She doesn’t need me now May 16 21:10:21 She cant be hurt anymore May 16 21:10:43 * Molly sobs at this, bowing her head May 16 21:12:16 * Morgan strokes her back May 16 21:13:14 * Molly stays there another minute before doing up her dress. The milk has pooled on the surface, not sinking in May 16 21:13:32 * Morgan frowns a little at it May 16 21:13:37 Come on, get you some rest May 16 21:13:51 * Molly nods, compliant May 16 21:15:04 No one can find us while I’m asleep, can they? May 16 21:15:34 I'll keep watch May 16 21:17:18 * Molly nods, going to the base of the tree he’d slept against. She curls into a ball, arms around her knees like a young child, like Hope would have grown to do, like Jana would have grown to do, if it weren’t for noblemen and their greed and cruelty May 16 21:19:42 * Morgan scowls, moving away to keep watch May 16 21:22:07 *she sleeps, and the night moves on. When the half light comes he can more clearly see the darkening bruising at her throat, and the little red dots around her eyes from the strangulation. May 16 21:23:50 * Morgan mutters to himself "I wish I could burn you again you bastard" May 16 21:25:54 * Molly doesn’t wake at this, but they’ll need to be on the road soon May 16 21:27:22 * Morgan yawns, getting Xantha watered and ready before waking her May 16 21:29:28 * Molly wakes with a start. He can see as it dawns on her, the way her eyes fill with confusion and pain. He knows this gutting realisation all too well from the eighteen months since the fire May 16 21:31:14 * Morgan watches her sadly for a moment May 16 21:31:17 Its time to go May 16 21:32:43 * Molly shakes her head a moment, and moves closer. She brings her hand to his ponytail, fingers clenching around it, and she presses her lips to his firmly May 16 21:32:59 * Morgan waits a beat before pulling away May 16 21:33:31 * Molly looks solemnly, moving back before standing May 16 21:33:45 we can go in a minute. May 16 21:33:54 * Morgan nods a little, looking around May 16 21:35:15 *it’s getting a little lighter every minute. She steps behind a tree for some privacy, but is quickly back with him and putting the bag back on the saddle May 16 21:38:46 * Morgan waits until she's back in the saddle before climbing up May 16 21:40:27 Will we stay in the woods again tonight? *They might, if they can make a full day’s progress, reach the road that runs east to west below the Sudlache, taking them out of their Konigsreich and into Sieger May 16 21:42:02 We'll have to see... May 16 21:43:09 * Molly nods. Xantha seems happy to be moving, and it’s easier to navigate by the sunlight. A few silent hours pass before she suddenly says “I couldn’t protect her.” May 16 21:43:57 Its not your fault May 16 21:44:57 * Molly speaks vehemently “I was her -mother-.” May 16 21:45:31 I know. But they were many May 16 21:46:19 I should have protected her. *she draws a ragged breath* I should have died protecting her. May 16 21:46:35 Then I'd be alone again May 16 21:47:07 * Molly nods “You are the only reason I am not dead...” May 16 21:47:40 perhaps May 16 21:49:04 You are. *she sounds utterly certain* May 16 21:49:23 * Morgan shrugs May 16 21:49:48 I wouldn’t have chosen to walk with this pain alone. May 16 21:50:36 No... May 16 21:52:02 * Molly is quiet again, before she says May 16 21:52:09 How do you live like this? May 16 21:52:38 * Morgan shrugs May 16 21:52:49 I wasn't planning to May 16 21:53:00 But you have. May 16 21:53:10 * Morgan sighs May 16 21:53:23 Because nothing in Avalon was strong enough to kill me... then I met you May 16 21:54:04 * Molly makes a sort of laugh “That sounds like I was strong enough” May 16 21:54:54 You gave me purpose May 16 21:56:01 And May 16 21:56:19 now? Now I’ve taken everything from you. May 16 21:58:52 No, you haven't at all... they did May 16 21:59:25 * Molly just shrugs then, but the silence feels loaded, things unsaid rather than nothing to say May 16 22:00:21 * Morgan sighs May 16 22:00:32 Spit it out... I don't want to ride the whole way waiting for whatever it is May 16 22:01:00 * Molly becomes more tense against him May 16 22:01:21 I heard them talking. They said such awful, evil things May 16 22:01:30 About... May 16 22:01:43 You, me... Dietlinde. May 16 22:01:53 That surprises me little May 16 22:02:32 If I hadn’t come here and married you, they wouldn’t have annexed our home. May 16 22:03:18 Yes they would... we just wouldn't have been there May 16 22:03:29 * Molly shakes her head May 16 22:04:43 They wanted to talk Edward into a marriage, his child to Eldreich’s, and Eldreich to be the regent of Sudlachenburg May 16 22:05:41 He'd have been disappointed, Edward was always going to marry Mina Hapsburg May 16 22:07:43 A betrothal of the children was the goal, I think. The boy Varick, to a daughter of Edwards. May 16 22:09:46 I don't understand how Eldreich was to be regent, when Edward is Veisgraf May 16 22:10:07 By making him the Graf. May 16 22:11:09 In the stead of his son and daughter in law. That way Edward and his wife can stay in Graben, where he truly wants to be May 16 22:11:27 Our being there makes no difference to that plan May 16 22:13:19 People would have rallied around you. *she sighs heavily, a hand protectively over that very tiny new life in her that he’d only just learnt of a few days ago* Our sons and daughters would have had a claim, if not in law then by the views of others May 16 22:14:17 I see... that is on me, not you May 16 22:16:22 * Molly shrugs “They didn’t blame me... They just wanted to know what parts of me were worth throwing everything away for.” Her voice is cool, detached. May 16 22:17:55 I see May 16 22:18:12 * Molly just nods, saying nothing May 16 22:19:18 I cannot hurt them any further May 16 22:20:25 No. It’s too late now. May 16 22:20:48 * Morgan nods May 16 22:20:51 I'm afraid so May 16 22:21:24 * Molly shrugs “Revenge feels good, but it doesn’t fix anything, does it?” May 16 22:22:06 rarely May 16 22:22:36 * Molly nods May 16 22:22:48 It doesn’t bring our daughter back. May 16 22:22:58 No. It does not. May 16 22:23:31 * Molly sighs, leaning back against him May 16 22:23:39 where do we go now? May 16 22:23:56 For now, we head for Graben May 16 22:24:18 * Molly nods slowly May 16 22:24:24 And you and I? May 16 22:24:43 That depends on you May 16 22:24:49 Does it? May 16 22:25:01 * Morgan nods May 16 22:25:02 It does May 16 22:25:08 howso? May 16 22:25:36 I would not blame you for wanting to get away from me May 16 22:25:55 why would I? It is not you who is tainted and sullied. May 16 22:26:55 * Morgan shakes his head a little May 16 22:27:04 I am a curse May 16 22:28:43 * Molly puts her hand on his on the reins “You are -not- a curse. You are my -husband-. You are my man.” May 16 22:29:20 I am the reason everyone is dead May 16 22:30:10 Oh love, no. You aren’t. May 16 22:30:17 Yes I am May 16 22:31:17 *She lets a long moment pass before saying* I want to be with you, Morgan. Always. Please, do not discard me, for your reasons or mine. May 16 22:32:59 I have no intention of that May 16 22:33:16 Good. I am not leaving you either. May 16 22:35:11 * Morgan nods, looking around May 16 22:35:12 Good May 16 22:36:53 *With this settled, the day passes quietly. Sometimes he feels how she weeps, but the worst of the emotional storm comes mid afternoon when they’ve risked a small fire to cook a rabbit on. She paces frustratedly May 16 22:36:59 I cannot do this! May 16 22:37:13 What? May 16 22:37:50 Survive without her! My body feels hollowed out and so achy, like it’s screaming for her! May 16 22:39:14 * Morgan nods May 16 22:39:15 I know May 16 22:39:43 * Molly looks fidgety, antsy May 16 22:40:24 How long will my body take to realise?! This pressure, it is making me crazy! May 16 22:43:03 I'm afraid I don't know May 16 22:43:22 * Molly nods May 16 22:43:57 Perhaps it serves me right. May 16 22:45:24 Why? May 16 22:46:13 When I was pregnant, I prayed for her to be gone. May 16 22:46:39 Its not your fault at all May 16 22:52:05 * Molly shrugs May 16 22:52:32 I wished she was dead. Now she is. I begged the old gods to take her away, and now they have. May 16 22:53:05 No, two cruel bastards did that May 16 22:54:23 * Molly shrugs again, going to Xantha once more to pet him. He gives Morgan a questioning look over her shoulder May 16 22:57:16 I have begged them all to let my next child live. May 16 22:58:08 * Morgan nods May 16 22:58:14 We can hope May 16 23:00:24 * Molly pulls closer to Xantha, and he lets her sob hard against his neck, resting his chin on her shoulder May 16 23:01:27 * Morgan sighs quietly May 16 23:02:40 *Xantha stays there stoically, just watching Morgan May 16 23:03:47 * Morgan watches them, checking the rabbit May 16 23:04:59 *it’s cooking well, and by the time it’s done she comes to eat, looking emotionally burnt out May 16 23:05:08 When does the crying stop? May 16 23:06:18 I don't know. I never cried May 16 23:06:57 * Molly looks surprised May 16 23:07:00 Never?! May 16 23:07:03 no May 16 23:07:10 why not? May 16 23:07:24 I couldn't May 16 23:07:42 * Molly watches him May 16 23:07:54 would you tell me why you couldn’t? May 16 23:08:11 I was too broken even for that... then all I could feel was anger May 16 23:08:24 And now? May 16 23:08:44 * Morgan shrugs May 16 23:11:49 * Molly nods, quietly helping with the meat. She doesn’t mention it when they get underway, and he feels her asleep once more. He expects they’re about half an hour before leaving the forest, He is going to need to decide if they’ll press on through the woods, or join with the road, because they will need to go east to reach Edward’s lands May 16 23:13:22 * Morgan risks the roads May 16 23:14:59 * Molly wakes when the daylight suddenly increases as the road opens up May 16 23:15:12 Oh! May 16 23:17:13 What do we do now? Will we find an inn for the night, and food? And another horse? May 16 23:20:08 I think that'd be sensible if we think its safe May 16 23:21:39 I thought we were already safe... so who knows? May 16 23:21:49 * Morgan nods May 16 23:24:40 *It only takes fifteen minutes to find a small town, he’d fought nearby, but knows no one in the town itself. it’s seven o’clock now. May 16 23:27:27 * Morgan has quit (Quit: This computer has gone to sleep) May 16 23:29:32 * Molly has quit (Read error: EOF from client)