**** BEGIN LOGGING AT Fri Jun 28 18:50:06 2024 Jun 28 18:50:06 * Morgan (~mads@192.168.1.117) has joined Jun 28 19:00:55 * Molly (~u931732@192.168.1.127) has joined Jun 28 19:01:45 * Molly turns on her side to watch him Jun 28 19:01:45 do you wish to tell me about it, rather than us dance around it for hours? Jun 28 19:01:45 Whats that? Jun 28 19:01:45 What Inga said. Jun 28 19:01:45 * Morgan sighs Jun 28 19:01:48 I had a dream about her, thats all Jun 28 19:01:50 * Molly nods Jun 28 19:01:52 there was sex? Jun 28 19:01:54 * Morgan nods Jun 28 19:01:56 Wasn't a path or anything... just a hazy dream Jun 28 19:02:00 when was it? Jun 28 19:02:02 * Morgan shrugs Jun 28 19:02:04 A while ago Jun 28 19:02:06 * Molly nods Jun 28 19:02:08 I am sure you just didn’t want to hurt me... Jun 28 19:02:10 * Morgan nods Jun 28 19:02:12 quite Jun 28 19:02:14 * Molly nods Jun 28 19:02:16 But I would have preferred you had told me, as you have done when you have dreamed of Dietlinde, or more recently Alice and Mina Jun 28 19:02:18 I would've preferred not to have dreamed it... and Mina is different, thats a path. Jun 28 19:02:20 * Molly nods Jun 28 19:02:22 I know Jun 28 19:05:41 * Morgan sighs, sitting up Jun 28 19:05:52 I hope these dreams are not a sign that you are feeling unsatisfied Jun 28 19:06:25 Absolutely not. The dreams involving Mina are a path, the others... just those hazy sort of dreams Jun 28 19:06:52 they are since I became pregnant? Jun 28 19:07:02 * Morgan tilts his head Jun 28 19:07:09 Yes, actually Jun 28 19:07:45 perhaps you are picking up the scent of me in your sleep and it is affecting you Jun 28 19:07:57 * Morgan shrugs Jun 28 19:07:58 maybe Jun 28 19:09:54 * Molly sighs “It is what it is, my love. We can only do our best” Jun 28 19:10:22 * Morgan frowns, sighing heavily Jun 28 19:11:41 * Molly reaches for him Jun 28 19:11:51 come here, my love, lay with me Jun 28 19:12:04 * Morgan slowly lays back Jun 28 19:13:24 * Molly gently kisses his cheek Jun 28 19:13:47 we’ll be fine. neither of us welcome it, but nor can we control it Jun 28 19:14:52 'S just a bloody dream Jun 28 19:16:00 yes, I know. Has Inga known long? Jun 28 19:16:46 Why? Jun 28 19:19:03 I’m not used to not knowing things Jun 28 19:19:45 * Morgan nods Jun 28 19:19:49 I know Jun 28 19:21:58 it didn’t cause you to peak though? *he’s only had that one in his life, the morning she was coming back from Freiburg, and it had been a dream of her where she’d held him off repeatedly before making him spend* Jun 28 19:22:42 God no... though... given how often that happens to you in your sleep, it'd be unfair to be annoyed about it Jun 28 19:24:53 I was not annoyed, I was just concerned Jun 28 19:25:35 Why? It doesn't -mean- anything if it happens... unless you're telling me otherwise? Jun 28 19:27:39 * Molly frowns Jun 28 19:27:44 No, my love Jun 28 19:28:18 Then why are you concerned? Jun 28 19:28:51 * Molly sighs Jun 28 19:28:56 I’m not even sure Jun 28 19:30:10 * Morgan nods a little, closing his eyes Jun 28 19:31:10 we can nap if you wish to Jun 28 19:31:42 I'm alright thank you Jun 28 19:31:55 * Molly nods Jun 28 19:32:02 what would you like to do? Jun 28 19:32:42 * Morgan shrugs Jun 28 19:32:52 Edward is concerned that you decided to plan things through quiet hour Jun 28 19:34:01 It was only that you told Alice we would have Florrie if she did not want to nap, so I thought that might be a time to show her the trees Jun 28 19:36:11 I thought you had plans right through the day Jun 28 19:37:46 I do have things to do after Quiet Hour, but I will always make time if you need me, my love Jun 28 19:42:41 * Morgan nods a little Jun 28 19:42:57 you are worried that...? Jun 28 19:43:22 * Morgan shrugs Jun 28 19:44:09 * Molly frowns a little Jun 28 19:44:52 I am not going to leave you frustrated, my love. I thought you knew that it is my priority to see to whatever needs my pregnancy brings to you Jun 28 19:45:44 * Morgan sighs Jun 28 19:47:18 No... I just thought you had other things you wanted to do Jun 28 19:47:34 rather than make you comfortable? Jun 28 19:47:42 Did I say that? Jun 28 19:48:09 You are saying very little, my love, and I am trying to understand what is troubling you so Jun 28 19:50:02 My nightmare... and then Edward thinking something is going on because I thought you'd planned things through the whole day... I've said that. Jun 28 19:51:02 * Molly nods Jun 28 19:51:41 Alright. Nothing is going on. I do have things to see to here because we do not have much time, but it is not to avoid you. Jun 28 19:52:11 * Morgan nods Jun 28 19:52:24 I'm glad Sarah and her children are doing so well Jun 28 19:53:06 * Molly nods Jun 28 19:53:18 As am I. it is nice to see the baby thriving Jun 28 19:54:27 * Morgan nods Jun 28 19:55:17 * Molly settles a little Jun 28 19:55:26 Everything here looks well Jun 28 19:55:42 * Morgan nods Jun 28 19:55:48 You are still to look over the books? Jun 28 19:57:27 * Molly nods Jun 28 19:57:31 Unless you need me. Jun 28 19:58:46 I'm alright for the time being Jun 28 20:00:20 * Molly nods Jun 28 20:00:44 It is more manageable than it was? Jun 28 20:01:38 No... the nightmare has unsettled me Jun 28 20:02:47 * Molly nods Jun 28 20:03:17 I cannot say I know how to help any further. I hoped lighting a candle would help Jun 28 20:03:37 I'm annoyed that I didn't think to light one for Dietlinde and Jana... Jun 28 20:05:22 we went there for a specific purpose, that is all. you do not need to light a candle for them when you think of them so much, my love Jun 28 20:06:11 * Morgan nods Jun 28 20:06:11 Maybe Jun 28 20:07:15 would you wish them to feel bad if it was the other way around? Jun 28 20:08:03 Of course not Jun 28 20:17:16 then you should be kinder to the man they loved Jun 28 20:18:52 * Morgan sighs Jun 28 20:18:53 Alright Jun 28 20:19:13 thank you. will you want to look at the books? Jun 28 20:19:24 I think I should Jun 28 20:19:30 * Molly nods Jun 28 20:19:47 I don’t think you’d want to help with Elsie Jun 28 20:20:18 No, probably not... *he frowns* I... I am coming to think of her as something like a daughter... Jun 28 20:20:27 * Molly smiles Jun 28 20:20:32 that’s lovely Jun 28 20:20:38 * Morgan shrugs Jun 28 20:20:45 I don't know how she'd feel about that Jun 28 20:21:01 I could quietly ask? Jun 28 20:21:46 If you like... I made mention to James that I'd be sort of like a father in law and she didn't have any sort of reaction Jun 28 20:22:03 is that good or bad? Jun 28 20:23:32 well... I don't know Jun 28 20:23:58 * Molly nods Jun 28 20:24:08 I’ll see what comes up... Jun 28 20:24:23 * Morgan nods Jun 28 20:24:54 do you think that might be -why- your nightmare is bothering you so? Jun 28 20:25:16 * Morgan nods Jun 28 20:26:22 * Molly nods slowly Jun 28 20:26:26 I see... Jun 28 20:26:33 Do you? Jun 28 20:28:23 it feels more personal, because she is your sort-of daughter, and you couldn’t protect her from an Eisenman bent on her destruction... and you did not punish him as much as you felt you should, on either path Jun 28 20:28:55 I could hear him hurting a working girl in the dream... but I had to walk away... Jun 28 20:29:06 * Molly nods Jun 28 20:29:24 And so it parallels reality Jun 28 20:30:00 Me nods Jun 28 20:31:18 you are being so harsh on yourself Jun 28 20:32:01 I don't think so Jun 28 20:32:23 you’d never be so cruel to anyone else Jun 28 20:33:00 I'm not being cruel Jun 28 20:33:35 Hauling yourself over these coals about how you should have punished him... Jun 28 20:34:30 * Morgan shrugs Jun 28 20:35:08 you wouldn’t do it to Heinzharold or Claudia Jun 28 20:35:28 * Morgan frowns Jun 28 20:35:34 Perhaps not.. Jun 28 20:36:16 Or me. I could have prevented Elsie’s attack if I hadn’t rejected him. Jun 28 20:36:33 I've seen how that goes... that is not acceptable Jun 28 20:37:00 Nor would it have been acceptable for you to endure the harm of being cruel to him. Jun 28 20:37:16 * Morgan shrugs Jun 28 20:39:05 * Molly frowns “I would have been disappointed when it damaged our marriage” Jun 28 20:39:22 * Morgan frowns Jun 28 20:39:26 Idon't see it would have Jun 28 20:42:31 * Molly raises her brows Jun 28 20:42:55 I am sorry, my love, I hate to contradict you so, but I am afraid you are wrong Jun 28 20:43:02 How? Jun 28 20:43:53 you do not recall the knots you were tying yourself in, or how you had warned Heinzharold and Claudia they may need to intervene if you got out of line? Jun 28 20:45:02 That was because I had made a promise to bring him back alive... Jun 28 20:45:53 Oh? I was under the impression it was because you were afraid of becoming as much a monster as him by allowing yourself a descent into cruelty Jun 28 20:46:18 * Morgan flinches Jun 28 20:46:23 That was uncalled for Jun 28 20:48:46 I cannot -reach- you to pull you back from this. I am telling you what I was told at the time Jun 28 20:49:03 * Morgan sits up Jun 28 20:51:10 * Molly stands “If you do not wish my help, I will stay quiet.” Jun 28 20:52:00 I don't see how being unkind is helpful Jun 28 20:54:38 I am trying desperately to help you see why taking a different action would not have been better, for you or any of us Jun 28 20:55:08 * Morgan scowls Jun 28 20:55:09 fine Jun 28 20:56:06 * Molly sighs Jun 28 20:57:29 I think I will go for a walk. I do not want to argue with you, I have tried to help you in every way I can think of, and I am only making it worse. Jun 28 20:57:51 * Morgan sighs heavily Jun 28 20:57:57 Do as you wish Jun 28 21:00:10 * Molly puts her shoes on again “I do not wish to become more upset, it cannot be good for the baby” Jun 28 21:01:08 In which case, you should stay here and rest Jun 28 21:02:56 I think it would be beneficial for us to cool our tempers Jun 28 21:03:38 * Morgan stands up Jun 28 21:03:40 I'll go Jun 28 21:04:13 * Molly nods “I love you, even though we are at odds now” Jun 28 21:04:50 * Morgan nods Jun 28 21:04:51 Likewise Jun 28 21:05:29 * Molly nods Jun 28 21:05:43 * Morgan quietly leaves the room, heading down the stairs Jun 28 21:06:09 *The house is very quiet* Jun 28 21:07:23 * Morgan goes to the kitchen to get coffee before heading outside, looking for a tree to sit by Jun 28 21:08:55 *he can faintly hear Ma, Ruth, and the three boys* Jun 28 21:09:27 * Morgan listens Jun 28 21:11:16 *They’re playing a game of Stick In The Mud. They all sound happy* Jun 28 21:11:59 * Morgan leans back against the tree, closing his eyes Jun 28 21:14:22 *he starts to drift off* Jun 28 21:15:23 * Morgan fidgets to doze Jun 28 21:17:05 *he does so without incident, rousing when the church clock strikes two* Jun 28 21:17:43 * Morgan stretches, looking around Jun 28 21:19:05 *he’s still alone* Jun 28 21:20:38 * Morgan gets up, going to refill his coffee Jun 28 21:21:25 * Molly is now known as Edward Jun 28 21:21:30 * Edward is doing the same Jun 28 21:21:50 I miss my lake Jun 28 21:22:27 * Edward nods Jun 28 21:22:46 And I mine, though to look at rather than swim in Jun 28 21:26:43 * Edward gets two more cups Jun 28 21:26:58 * Morgan nods, pouring his coffee Jun 28 21:27:44 You have a twig in your hair. Dare I ask? Jun 28 21:28:33 I had a nap under a tree Jun 28 21:28:45 * Morgan runs his hand over his hair, removing the offending twig Jun 28 21:30:32 * Edward nods, smiling faintly Jun 28 21:30:48 It’s as good a place as any Jun 28 21:32:45 * Morgan nods, sniffing his drink Jun 28 21:33:58 *it is his preferred coffee* Jun 28 21:34:08 I took a brief nap Jun 28 21:34:15 Did you? Jun 28 21:34:22 * Edward nods Jun 28 21:34:32 fifteen minutes or thereabouts Jun 28 21:36:26 Enough to recover... Jun 28 21:36:33 * Edward smiles Jun 28 21:36:44 I am on a rest day, if you recall Jun 28 21:37:13 Oh, yes, of course Jun 28 21:37:26 * Edward nods Jun 28 21:38:19 My wife, for all her insistence upon it, has discovered she finds it deeply frustrating Jun 28 21:38:48 * Morgan nods Jun 28 21:38:51 I would imagine it is Jun 28 21:39:01 * Edward smiles Jun 28 21:39:50 There’s a satisfaction in seeing that that goes beyond my own pleasure Jun 28 21:40:03 Oh? Jun 28 21:40:34 * Edward nods “we enjoyed our quiet hour” Jun 28 21:42:02 * Edward pours some coffee “What about you, brother? Did you enjoy your peace and quiet?” Jun 28 21:42:27 * Morgan sighs Jun 28 21:42:28 no Jun 28 21:44:49 It is a pity she was busy Jun 28 21:45:11 She made time... we fell out Jun 28 21:46:45 * Edward frowns, stirring the coffee Jun 28 21:46:48 what about? Jun 28 21:47:24 Couple of things. She thinks I am being overly cruel to myself over my nightmare and decided the best way to deal with that was by being cruel Jun 28 21:49:01 That is unlike her. Forthright and blunt at times, but not usually cute Jun 28 21:49:05 cruel* Jun 28 21:49:09 * Morgan nods Jun 28 21:51:00 what else? Jun 28 21:51:42 I had a dream about someone else and didn't tell her Jun 28 21:53:23 Now she has found out? Jun 28 21:53:29 * Morgan nods Jun 28 21:54:58 * Edward nods, picking up his coffee Jun 28 21:55:26 So she’s angry about the dream, or about it having been kept from her? Jun 28 21:56:00 Both probably... there's a certain amount of hypocrisy Jun 28 21:58:01 Is there? Jun 28 21:58:29 * Morgan nods Jun 28 21:59:12 She got aggro at the thought I might have... uhhh... reached the point of no return from the dream, but that happens to her frequently but thats fine... Jun 28 21:59:29 * Edward sips his coffee Jun 28 22:00:01 It sounds like she is feeling insecure. How have you responded to that? Jun 28 22:00:38 I got pissed off at the hypocrisy of it. Then I got pissed off at her being cruel Jun 28 22:01:40 * Edward nods Jun 28 22:02:26 I can understand that response. Theus knows I was pissed off often about Mina and Florrie Jun 28 22:03:44 * Morgan nods Jun 28 22:04:55 Are you wanting my advice, or my empathy? Jun 28 22:05:20 * Morgan shrugs Jun 28 22:05:38 I rather imagine you'll tell me to be the bigger person, reassure her and let go her unkindness... Jun 28 22:07:13 * Edward nods “Indeed. You are the Captain. Your first officer sounds fractious, and displeasing. But the buck stops with you when it is your ship” Jun 28 22:10:15 * Morgan sighs, grinding his teeth Jun 28 22:10:50 How would you handle it on a real ship, as Captain? Jun 28 22:12:04 I'd tell them to pack it the fuck in Jun 28 22:12:46 Have you tried that? Jun 28 22:13:36 No Jun 28 22:14:38 Perhaps that is an option then Jun 28 22:16:03 I dont think so Jun 28 22:16:57 Then you are left with the option of reassurance and forgiveness Jun 28 22:18:26 * Morgan shrugs Jun 28 22:21:13 It is up to you, brother. It sounds like you might have been feeling, unreasonably, guilty and defensive, and she was feeling insecure. I have never found this a good mix with Mina and I Jun 28 22:22:22 No... Jun 28 22:24:26 * Edward sips his coffee Jun 28 22:27:02 I would speak to her. Make the point that she has hurt you, and you want her not to do it again, but also the usual platitudes... most beautiful woman in the world, no one could compare, relieved to wake to discover you were with her instead... you know how it goes Jun 28 22:27:53 Not really, no... its not something I ever had to deal with Jun 28 22:29:40 * Edward smiles “I’d suggest learning what reassures your wife easiest so you always have it in your arsenal” Jun 28 22:30:27 * Morgan nods Jun 28 22:30:29 Duly noted Jun 28 22:32:01 * Edward nods Jun 28 22:33:00 I have learnt these things with Mina quite recently. Certainly much later than I’d have preferred, but our circumstances have been very trying Jun 28 22:33:15 * Morgan nods Jun 28 22:33:17 Aye they have Jun 28 22:34:49 * Edward nods, smiling Jun 28 22:35:07 We are getting towards the marriage I always intended for us Jun 28 22:35:38 good. Thats good. Jun 28 22:36:48 * Edward nods, smiling Jun 28 22:37:08 Have you noticed that she is more peaceful than she was? Jun 28 22:37:42 * Morgan nods Jun 28 22:37:43 I have Jun 28 22:39:12 She has agreed to follow my lead again Jun 28 22:39:24 * Morgan nods Jun 28 22:39:31 I'm glad Jun 28 22:40:59 * Edward nods Jun 28 22:41:29 As am I. I wasn’t sure she would ever do that again Jun 28 22:41:47 It was a little dubious for a while Jun 28 22:43:20 * Edward nods Jun 28 22:44:11 She didn’t trust my judgement. I had been a very poor Captain. She needed to see that I was worth following Jun 28 22:44:39 How did you prove that to her? Jun 28 22:46:57 By being stable and consistent. I give her my time, I give her every reassurance she needs, I remind her frequently that she was what kept me going through so many years, and that even the worst moments with her are happier than the best without her Jun 28 22:47:20 * Morgan nods, sipping his coffee Jun 28 22:51:02 It has taken work, naturally, and it helps that Mina is by her nature and upbringing inclined to follow her husband Jun 28 22:52:47 * Morgan nods Jun 28 22:53:19 I would imagine that has made it somewhat easier Jun 28 22:53:30 * Edward nods Jun 28 22:53:51 it is something that makes us compatible Jun 28 22:55:15 She likes to follow her husband and you're an egomaniac? Jun 28 22:55:50 * Edward chuckles Jun 28 22:56:01 She likes to follow and I like to lead Jun 28 22:56:20 Thats what I said Jun 28 22:57:14 * Edward smiles Jun 28 22:57:42 What about you, brother? What do you want your relationship to look like as it enters this new phase? Jun 28 22:58:24 I suppose I foolishly thought it would continue as it had Jun 28 22:59:54 I am told that increasing can make them even more unsettled than their monthly issue does Jun 28 23:00:13 * Morgan nods Jun 28 23:00:16 So it seems Jun 28 23:01:49 You did not find this last time? Jun 28 23:02:43 A little, perhaps, but nothing like this Jun 28 23:03:40 * Edward nods Jun 28 23:04:08 Would you like me to speak to her? Jun 28 23:04:27 I'm not sure it'd do any good Jun 28 23:06:05 * Edward nods Jun 28 23:06:53 Without being indelicate, has anything happened intimately that may have left her unsettled, as you were in Graben not long before you left? Jun 28 23:07:26 Yes, but... that was days ago and I was under the impression we had dealt with that... Jun 28 23:08:02 I overheard that she was becoming more tempted to pry into, I assume, that aspect of my life with Dietlinde Jun 28 23:09:11 * Edward nods Jun 28 23:09:25 That can be playing with fire, in my experience Jun 28 23:09:43 I believe so Jun 28 23:12:44 I have had a very frank conversation with Mimi about my experience with Alice, to the degree I can recall any of it, and of losing my virginity to Petra, but I have suggested to her that she doesn’t need details of anything else, especially when what she and I have is so much more pleasurable for me Jun 28 23:13:20 And she accepted that Jun 28 23:15:27 Yes she did Jun 28 23:17:32 * Morgan nods Jun 28 23:18:40 Have you spoken openly with her before? Jun 28 23:19:11 About that? Not really Jun 28 23:19:57 * Edward nods Jun 28 23:20:26 do you know -why- whatever it is has come up now? Jun 28 23:21:29 Not really, no... apparently pregnancy can do things like this though Jun 28 23:21:49 * Edward nods Jun 28 23:23:44 I would consider asking her to ask you anything she wishes. You could always tell her it is too personal to answer, but you can reassure her where you can. Jun 28 23:24:01 * Morgan sighs Jun 28 23:24:05 It goes against my better judgement Jun 28 23:26:01 why? Jun 28 23:26:18 What could there possibly be to gain from it? Jun 28 23:27:47 * Edward sips his coffee again Jun 28 23:29:06 If a first officer has questions about where the ship is headed, why you chose a particular sail position, or how much rum you have on board, would you tell them? Jun 28 23:29:41 None of those would be answered by saying where I sailed a previous ship or how Jun 28 23:30:38 * Edward smiles faintly Jun 28 23:33:04 My point, brother, is that when you give her the space to ask, you are being a Captain she can take her questions to. It is an indicator that you are steady and there doesn’t need to be fear in asking you questions. She might not get an answer, but she can rely on you to handle it kindly Jun 28 23:34:44 * Morgan sighs, nodding Jun 28 23:36:58 I know the Captain/First Officer dynamic is not your preference, but it seems perhaps with the increasing challenges of her pregnancy a firmer hand is needed to guide her through the choppier waters Jun 28 23:37:13 Perhaps Jun 28 23:38:13 Is it possible she is feeling unsettled about her attractiveness now that her body is changing? Jun 28 23:39:40 That is... unlikely... Jun 28 23:40:42 Unlikely, but not impossible Jun 28 23:41:02 I suppose not