**** BEGIN LOGGING AT Tue Apr 30 07:32:39 2024 Apr 30 07:32:39 * Morgan (~mads@192.168.1.117) has joined Apr 30 09:21:51 * Morgan has quit (Quit: This computer has gone to sleep) Apr 30 18:14:15 * Morgan (~mads@192.168.1.117) has joined Apr 30 19:08:20 * Molly (~u931732@192.168.1.127) has joined Apr 30 19:09:29 *The sailor nods, standing aside Apr 30 19:09:29 * Morgan boards the ship Apr 30 19:09:29 You have something you want to say? Apr 30 19:09:29 S: Nope. Pretty young lady, handsome man, sometimes a babe comes along. Just how it goes. Apr 30 19:09:29 Lets get under way shall we? Apr 30 19:09:32 *He nods, calling orders* Apr 30 19:09:36 S: She’s in your room, if you can call it that Apr 30 19:09:38 * Morgan nods a little, heading that way Apr 30 19:09:40 *the door is set on wheels on a track and has to slide open. There’s not enough space to open it into the passage, or into the room that is nearly filled by a narrow bed. He can probably sleep on the floor beside it, but it’ll be tight. in the corner, the sleeping baby is swaddled in the wrap in a small wooden crate* Apr 30 19:09:50 * Morgan watches the baby Apr 30 19:11:47 * Molly is laid on the bed, staring up at the rough boards above. She’s biting her lip hard, her hands made to fists at her side. Despite the effort to keep control of her emotions, a tear rolls down beside her eye and then onto her ear* Apr 30 19:12:32 * Morgan sighs, sitting on the floor Apr 30 19:13:11 * Molly unclenches her fist, silently reaching out her hand for him Apr 30 19:13:20 * Morgan takes it Apr 30 19:15:18 * Molly speaks quietly, words full of pain “Why must they hate me?” Apr 30 19:15:30 Because they're small, cruel people Apr 30 19:16:18 I made a mistake k but people make mistakes every day... My family should not treat me this way Apr 30 19:16:34 No, they shouldn't Apr 30 19:16:59 * Molly holds his hand firmer Apr 30 19:17:12 I have nothing left here Apr 30 19:18:59 We're not staying anyway Apr 30 19:19:24 * Molly nods, sniffing a moment Apr 30 19:19:57 They’d have been happier if Hope and I had died in the barn that night Apr 30 19:20:34 Possibly Apr 30 19:20:47 Maybe we were supposed to Apr 30 19:21:52 I don't believe so Apr 30 19:22:23 You’d have kept your job, lived your life... Apr 30 19:23:15 Until I got myself killed, yes Apr 30 19:23:37 * Molly turns on to her side to look at him Apr 30 19:23:49 You’ll stop that now? Apr 30 19:24:50 Long term, who knows Apr 30 19:25:13 * Molly nods “But short-term?” Apr 30 19:25:50 * Morgan nods Apr 30 19:26:23 * Molly nods “I won’t ask you to give me promises that you cannot” Apr 30 19:27:01 * Morgan nods Apr 30 19:27:03 I appreciate that Apr 30 19:29:14 * Molly nods. She kisses his knuckles. It’s tender rather than seductive, but the soft warmth of it hits his body like the first mouthful of whiskey, a heat that spreads through him and makes his body relax and tingle Apr 30 19:29:43 * Morgan looks at the floor, frowning Apr 30 19:30:01 * Molly loosens her grip “sorry” Apr 30 19:30:38 Its alright Apr 30 19:31:09 * Molly lets go anyway Apr 30 19:31:23 I wonder why are haven’t moved off yet Apr 30 19:31:31 * Morgan sighs Apr 30 19:31:33 I'll go find out Apr 30 19:31:58 * Molly nods, going back to staring at the ceiling Apr 30 19:34:01 * Morgan gets up, moving out of the room and heading to find out whats going on Apr 30 19:36:56 *A man is walking away from the boat, and the sailor has an unsealed note in his hand* Apr 30 19:37:31 Why've we not set off? Apr 30 19:38:31 S: Man brought this note for the woman you’re with. Now we can go Apr 30 19:38:46 What is it? Apr 30 19:39:59 *he hands it over. It says “You are no longer a Forrester, you will never be welcomed back. David.” Apr 30 19:40:24 * Morgan looks toward the man that brought the note Apr 30 19:41:37 *He doesn’t even bother looking back* Apr 30 19:42:13 I'll be a moment... Apr 30 19:42:22 * Morgan jogs down the plank, whistling loudly Apr 30 19:43:28 *The man turns, frowning. He looks old enough to have a daughter that age* Apr 30 19:43:55 * Morgan slows as he gets closer Apr 30 19:44:01 You must be David Forrester... Apr 30 19:44:08 * Molly is now known as David Apr 30 19:44:17 What business of that is yours? Apr 30 19:44:47 Ah, yes, I've met your wife then... just two things... first, there's rumour that your children aren't really yours... second... can you swim? Apr 30 19:47:10 That’s a stupid rumour, and yes I can Apr 30 19:47:43 Funny, your wife's friends are thinking your children look like their husbands... you can... good good... Apr 30 19:47:53 * Morgan smashed his fist into the side of Davids head Apr 30 19:50:33 * David staggers, not expecting it. The few other people on the dock are watching Apr 30 19:50:56 * Morgan grabs him, launching him toward the edge of the dock Apr 30 19:52:42 * David shouts and curses at him Apr 30 19:53:29 * Morgan moves towards him, herding him toward the dock edge Apr 30 19:55:02 You are welcome to her! She’s tainted now, but given that you have a ring on, I’d say all you’re looking for is an easy girl anyway! Apr 30 19:55:34 Children show their parentage... clearly you're a disgrace to fatherhood Apr 30 19:55:40 * Morgan keeps moving toward him Apr 30 19:57:18 * David backs towards the water’s edge “As if you’ll do better when you’ve bred her and she’s given you another mewling bastard like this one!” Apr 30 19:58:02 * Morgan reaches out suddenly, grabbing his ear and wrenching it violently Apr 30 20:01:17 * David shrieks Apr 30 20:03:13 * Morgan twists it savagely before using it to launch David off the dock Apr 30 20:04:28 *He lands with a huge splash, and flails around. Morgan’s ship looks ready to leave, the sailors watching him* Apr 30 20:05:40 * Morgan calmly walks back up the gangplank, nodding to the sailors Apr 30 20:06:05 * David is now known as Sailor Apr 30 20:06:27 * Sailor nods “I’d lamp any man who spoke about my girl that way too” Apr 30 20:06:58 He's a sorry excuse for a man Apr 30 20:07:05 * Sailor nods Apr 30 20:07:11 We’re ready Apr 30 20:08:44 Lets get underway then Apr 30 20:11:05 * Sailor nods, and they sail out into the estuary. The wind favours them. The joy of sailing floods back into him. It’s also like the first whiskey, the morning coffee, her lips on his skin. It’s another sudden feeling that cuts through the cold barren wasteland of his emotions Apr 30 20:11:43 * Morgan breathes deeply, watching the water Apr 30 20:19:17 *Time slips away from him, and it’s dark by the time he snaps out of it. In their room before, he finds her nursing, and just as in recent days, he finds his eyes slipping to her breast, and his thoughts to how it would feel to be held close to her like that, the nurturing tender warmth, the flow of the sweet milk across his tongue. Apr 30 20:19:48 * Morgan scowls, biting the inside of his cheek Apr 30 20:20:02 * Sailor is now known as Molly Apr 30 20:20:10 * Molly looks up Apr 30 20:20:28 I felt it set off Apr 30 20:23:24 * Morgan nods Apr 30 20:23:25 aye Apr 30 20:24:33 * Molly strokes the baby’s hair “We’ll eat soon?” Apr 30 20:25:07 I imagine so, yes Apr 30 20:25:38 * Molly nods. She smiles at the child “what was the hold up?” Apr 30 20:27:22 I was trying to rip someones ear off Apr 30 20:28:26 * Molly nods as if this is normal, then tilts her head “why?” Apr 30 20:28:41 He annoyed me Apr 30 20:30:55 Alright. *she takes the sleeping baby off, nipple revealed, the blue veins across the pale skin too, and his thoughts escape him again to following them with kisses, or with the point of his tongue* Will we arrive tomorrow in Carleon? Apr 30 20:31:28 * Morgan nods, biting his cheek again Apr 30 20:31:41 Should do. We've made good time today Apr 30 20:32:13 * Molly smiles, offering the tiny, still scrunched up infant to him Apr 30 20:32:47 Then we get on a bigger ship Apr 30 20:33:03 * Morgan takes her, cradling her gently Apr 30 20:33:07 Yes, we do Apr 30 20:33:49 *She looks fast asleep, drunk on the milk. Molly does her dress up* Will it have more rooms? Apr 30 20:34:45 I would think so, yes Apr 30 20:35:13 I don’t mind, I’m used to you sharing our room and sleeping in the chair Apr 30 20:35:47 * Morgan nods Apr 30 20:36:04 Might be worth considering then Apr 30 20:37:21 * Molly nods Apr 30 20:38:01 Will you be awkward and insist on sleeping on the floor? Apr 30 20:39:11 * Morgan nods Apr 30 20:39:12 Its only right Apr 30 20:39:54 * Molly shrugs Apr 30 20:41:41 You helped a child from my body, I think it’s hardly a problem *But the prospect of it when he already has trouble when he sees her breasts, and can still nearly feel her lips on his knuckles seems like quite a problem indeed* Apr 30 20:42:30 * Morgan shakes his head Apr 30 20:42:35 No, it wouldn't be right Apr 30 20:42:55 * Molly shrugs “As you please” Apr 30 20:45:08 *But after they’ve eaten and it is time to sleep, the rough wood under his back feels cold, unpleasant, and splintery, the moth-eaten blanket he’s pillowed up doing little to make him comfortable. With the lantern out, she says “The offer’s there, if you change your mind” Apr 30 20:45:30 Thank you, but I'll manage Apr 30 20:45:40 Goodnight. Apr 30 20:45:45 Goodnight Apr 30 20:47:53 *He eventually, after an hour of struggling with the errant thoughts, falls asleep. He dreams of the fire again, as he had been doing so often. What wakes him just before he’d normally wake is a firm shake of his arm, and a roughly whispered “Morgan! Wake up!” Apr 30 20:48:11 * Morgan opens his eyes Apr 30 20:48:14 Hmm? Apr 30 20:50:45 * Molly is laid on one side beside him, propped up on one elbow. He can’t see her in the dark, but he can feel the pressure of her, and from the scent of her skin and the nursing smell of warm milk he must be at the height of her chest. She strokes his hair and softly says “Shhhh... it’s alright...” Apr 30 20:51:14 * Morgan sighs, whispering Apr 30 20:51:20 Sorry... I was making noise Apr 30 20:51:44 You were, but it’s alright, you’re safe now Apr 30 20:51:58 * Morgan nods, yawning Apr 30 20:52:56 * Molly continues stroking his hair “Do you wish to unburden yourself? it might help you get back to sleep” Apr 30 20:53:42 Just a nightmare Apr 30 20:54:25 I don’t mind sitting with you until you’re asleep again Apr 30 20:55:11 I don't know that'll happen Apr 30 20:55:57 I expect she’ll wake to nurse soon, I can always feel when it’s been a while, it feels like I’ll pop, Apr 30 20:57:09 *it’s not a helpful reminder when she smells so good and she’s so warm and close to him. But again, those feelings are at least something other than blind rage* Apr 30 20:57:59 * Morgan nods Apr 30 20:58:20 I'm surprised I didn't wake her Apr 30 20:58:36 Me too Apr 30 21:01:01 Sorry... I should've warned you Apr 30 21:02:45 Not at all... After everything you’ve done for me, how kind you are, how much you care for my daughter and I, nothing is too much trouble Apr 30 21:05:58 I just.. I get nightmares Apr 30 21:06:34 Me too, sometimes. Sometimes I dream I am lost, and I cannot find my way home Apr 30 21:06:47 * Morgan nods Apr 30 21:06:56 I had that a few times, when I was younger Apr 30 21:07:23 what plagues you now? *she’s still gently stroking his hair* Apr 30 21:07:38 A fire Apr 30 21:09:25 * Molly nods Apr 30 21:09:52 Unpleasant Apr 30 21:11:19 * Morgan nods Apr 30 21:11:21 Yes, it is Apr 30 21:12:14 Am I helping, even in some tiny way? Apr 30 21:13:08 * Morgan nods, sighing a little Apr 30 21:13:40 Yet you also wish I hadn’t awoken? Apr 30 21:13:48 * Morgan nods Apr 30 21:14:01 I suppose so, yes Apr 30 21:14:19 Would you prefer I leave you alone? Apr 30 21:14:31 I should Apr 30 21:14:59 why? when I was in that barn, you did not leave me alone... Apr 30 21:15:16 But you didn't deserve the pain and fear Apr 30 21:15:26 my god, nor do you! Apr 30 21:16:50 * Morgan nods Apr 30 21:16:52 Yes, I do Apr 30 21:19:09 *he can’t see the furrow of her brow in the darkened and slightly swaying room, but he can hear it* Why?! why do you? Apr 30 21:19:46 Its my penance, my punishment for failing so badly Apr 30 21:21:59 Oh Morgan... *she sighs, and gently kisses the centre of his forehead as one would to comfort a small child* Apr 30 21:22:30 *this of course only makes her nearer, enveloping him in that scent* Apr 30 21:23:58 * Morgan closes his eyes, staying still Apr 30 21:24:27 * Molly speaks softly “Everyone makes mistakes” Apr 30 21:24:55 Yours brought a life... mine cost two Apr 30 21:25:36 And then you saved my daughter. Be gentler to yourself Apr 30 21:25:53 * Morgan shrugs a little Apr 30 21:26:50 Please... Please at least try to. If not for yourself but because if those people loved you, they would want that for you also Apr 30 21:28:06 They'd want to still be alive Apr 30 21:29:15 well yes, of course, but in the absence of that option... Apr 30 21:29:26 * Morgan shrugs Apr 30 21:29:33 I'll try but I'm not making any promises Apr 30 21:30:14 I will take it, if that is all you can give me Apr 30 21:30:28 * Morgan nods Apr 30 21:31:19 * Molly strokes his hair even now “Will you try to sleep? I will sing to you...” Apr 30 21:31:32 It'll wake the baby Apr 30 21:32:05 I will not mind that, I’d rather nurse sooner than later Apr 30 21:32:59 *Again the thoughts, the firmness of her and the speed of the milk flow* Apr 30 21:33:12 * Morgan nods Apr 30 21:33:14 Alright then Apr 30 21:33:53 * Molly kisses his forehead again “sweet dreams this time” Apr 30 21:34:12 * Morgan nods Apr 30 21:34:15 We can hope Apr 30 21:36:32 * Molly starts to sing that Eisen-lyriced song that starts with inviting him into her boat to escape the coming storm and night, and follows by asking where he wants to go back to* Apr 30 21:37:25 * Morgan tries to sleep Apr 30 21:41:44 *He’d managed it, sleeping like a rock until the morning. She’d not mentioned it the following day, and when it had come time to choose rooms, he’d put himself seperate from her, just as he absented himself every time she nursed. It didn’t stop the thoughts, but it reduced the chance that at some point his will to resist would falter. When the nightmares came, there was no feminine comfort to both settle and unsettle him.(MTF) Apr 30 21:44:43 *During the day he’d helped with the baby for anything but the nursing, and found peace sailing the sea with her strapped to him. Even landing in his homeland was made easier by Hope. He’d been foiled by the lack of available berths on the ferry, so into a small room with two narrow beds they’d squeezed, eating on the beds. Apr 30 21:45:06 So tomorrow night we’ll stay at an Inn, and then go to your village? Apr 30 21:45:17 * Morgan nods Apr 30 21:45:18 Aye Apr 30 21:45:31 What will happen when we’re there? Apr 30 21:46:02 well... we'll hope my friend doesn't tell me to do one for a start Apr 30 21:46:18 * Molly smiles Apr 30 21:46:23 Is he likely to? Apr 30 21:47:06 * Morgan shrugs Apr 30 21:47:16 I left without a word and without trace Apr 30 21:47:35 * Molly nods, chewing some bread before saying Apr 30 21:47:42 What do we do if he does? Apr 30 21:49:54 I'm not sure Apr 30 21:50:09 * Molly nods Apr 30 21:50:13 Are you nervous? Apr 30 21:50:23 * Morgan nods Apr 30 21:50:28 Yes, I am Apr 30 21:50:39 * Molly nods Apr 30 21:50:50 You can afford not to stay there though Apr 30 21:51:03 * Morgan nods Apr 30 21:51:06 true Apr 30 21:51:26 * Molly nods Apr 30 21:51:41 You could work somewhere, or start a farm Apr 30 21:52:09 * Morgan nods Apr 30 21:52:11 Possibly, yes Apr 30 21:54:18 * Molly smiles “That could be nice, something straight forward and easy” Apr 30 21:54:29 That'd make a change Apr 30 21:54:34 * Molly smiles Apr 30 21:54:54 Unless you get sheep. No one who wants an easy life gets sheep Apr 30 21:55:09 No? Apr 30 21:55:28 They’d die twice and then again on Sunday. Apr 30 21:55:49 * Morgan chuckles quietly Apr 30 21:55:54 They sound delightful Apr 30 21:56:04 * Molly watches him a moment, then just nods Apr 30 21:59:09 * Molly eats some more Apr 30 22:00:40 Do they do anything there for the Autumn Equinox? *they certainly hadn’t the day Dietlinde and Jana had died, and the mention of it makes him suddenly realise that the day they arrive in Sudlachenburg will be the anniversary itself* Apr 30 22:01:18 * Morgan frowns before shaking his head Apr 30 22:01:26 Not unless they've started doing something since I left Apr 30 22:01:42 * Molly nods Apr 30 22:01:50 How have your nightmares been? Apr 30 22:02:00 The same as usual Apr 30 22:02:27 * Molly nods sadly “I wondered if you’d picked seperate rooms to avoid me” Apr 30 22:02:41 It just... seemed the right thing to do Apr 30 22:03:24 That’s why you don’t stay when I nurse anymore? Apr 30 22:03:58 Its not something I should be seeing Apr 30 22:04:09 * Molly shrugs Apr 30 22:04:18 It doesn’t disturb me Apr 30 22:04:47 * Morgan nods, eating a little Apr 30 22:05:07 Will you manage with sharing a room? Apr 30 22:05:43 I'll have to... there's plenty of space on this tub though Apr 30 22:06:10 * Molly nods, and then she turns the full weight of her attention on him Apr 30 22:06:18 Do you regret bringing me? Apr 30 22:06:32 Not exactly Apr 30 22:06:39 But some? Apr 30 22:07:41 I'm anxious about going home... about how they'll react to me, to you... Apr 30 22:08:18 Why go back? We could have found somewhere to be... Apr 30 22:08:59 Its... difficult to explain Apr 30 22:12:00 * Molly nods, and the baby stirring takes her attention, freeing him from explaining. He gets an escape when she starts nursing, and waits until well after it’s dark before sneaking in and removing just his boots and heavy coat before lying on his bed. Again he has to wade through the thoughts to get to sleep, and again the nightmare (Mtf) Apr 30 22:13:43 *When he wakes suddenly it’s facing the cabin wall. She’s behind him on the bed, once more shaking him firmly by the arm “Morgan, it’s alright... it’s a nightmare, nothing more.” Apr 30 22:14:53 * Morgan breathes slowly, wiping at his face Apr 30 22:15:57 * Molly strokes his arm “let me hold you a minute? I always think that’d be helpful” Apr 30 22:16:15 * Morgan sighs heavily, nodding Apr 30 22:19:04 * Molly shifts so that she’s wrapped around him from behind. Her arm goes around his waist, her lower leg just over his. He can feel her head tuck in at the back of his neck, and feel the warmth of her breath on his nape. She smells nice, and her can feel her breasts against his back, as firm as his persistent thoughts had suggested Apr 30 22:19:53 * Morgan sighs, trying to relax Apr 30 22:20:46 *it happens much easier than he expected after about half a minute, his breathing slowing, heart rate too, and his muscle tension dropping Apr 30 22:23:31 * Molly has quit (Read error: EOF from client) Apr 30 22:23:35 * Morgan blows out a breath Apr 30 22:26:07 * Molly (~androirc@192.168.1.128) has joined Apr 30 22:26:16 Test Apr 30 22:28:09 * Molly has quit (Quit: AndroIRC - Android IRC Client ( http://www.androirc.com )) Apr 30 23:28:57 * Morgan has quit (Quit: This computer has gone to sleep)