**** BEGIN LOGGING AT Fri Sep 22 13:48:14 2023 Sep 22 13:48:14 * Morgan (~mads@192.168.1.117) has joined Sep 22 16:22:38 * Morgan has quit (Quit: This computer has gone to sleep) Sep 22 17:34:47 * Morgan (~mads@192.168.1.117) has joined Sep 22 19:41:11 * MollyK (~igloo@192.168.1.127) has joined Sep 22 19:43:56 [21:01:21] HH: Yep. Weird tha' Claudia is th' second most dangerous woman I know Sep 22 19:44:10 [21:02:19] MorganK: She isn't hesitant about using that talent though Sep 22 19:44:10 * Morgan nods Sep 22 19:44:21 [21:02:30] HH: True, yeah Sep 22 19:47:31 * Morgan picks at his thumb nail Sep 22 19:47:57 She can't go on ignoring it... Sep 22 19:49:15 Who? Sep 22 19:49:18 * MollyK is now known as HH Sep 22 19:49:29 Mina... its not going away Sep 22 19:52:16 * HH nods Sep 22 19:52:48 Yeah. I ackshully feel for Edward Sep 22 19:53:08 Should do, he's family Sep 22 19:53:45 Ugh don' remind me! *he grins* Sep 22 19:54:53 * Morgan laughs Sep 22 19:57:14 Can't believe our something-great-Grandma left my something-great-Grandpa for your something-great-grandpa Sep 22 19:57:46 Clearly wasn't as pretty as you are Sep 22 19:58:31 Guess not. But if I see Inga eyein' you up we're gonna have an issue! Sep 22 20:00:20 It'd hardly be my fault... Sep 22 20:01:00 * HH shrugs Sep 22 20:01:10 Better t' be safe Sep 22 20:03:12 * Morgan shrugs Sep 22 20:03:23 She'd have to be blind... Sep 22 20:03:50 Yeah, true Sep 22 20:04:50 * Morgan nods, rubbing at the skin just above his wrists where the scars meet his hands Sep 22 20:05:04 * HH watches it Sep 22 20:05:09 You okay, man? Sep 22 20:07:01 just... Molly was making all those arguments for why she would have taken the offer... she meant them. Wonder if, subconsciously, despite saying we're in this together, she still would make that choice... Sep 22 20:07:45 Like Mina, yer feeling insecure in yer place? Sep 22 20:08:32 A little, maybe... Sep 22 20:08:44 * HH nods Sep 22 20:09:19 She needs to know that it's not acceptable, not to any of us Sep 22 20:09:31 I did tell her that Sep 22 20:09:40 * HH nods Sep 22 20:10:40 Same shit as usual, focusing on th' past and you being so 'appy then, but... Sep 22 20:11:34 But not when she was properly awake Sep 22 20:11:50 No Sep 22 20:12:31 * Morgan shrugs Sep 22 20:13:01 Dunno what we can do 'bout that Sep 22 20:13:10 Nothing, really. Sep 22 20:13:46 Just gotta hope it never 'appens Sep 22 20:14:21 * Morgan nods Sep 22 20:14:24 aye Sep 22 20:15:44 Gotta focus on th' here and now Sep 22 20:16:30 * Morgan nods Sep 22 20:17:53 Let's go get some cuddles Sep 22 20:18:26 * Morgan nods, carefully rolling his sleeves up Sep 22 20:18:42 * HH chuckles Sep 22 20:18:53 Tryinna get more than a hug, huh? Sep 22 20:19:11 * Morgan shakes his head Sep 22 20:19:40 I can feel I am... what's the word... backsliding with it. I don't want to do that. Sep 22 20:20:15 * HH nods Sep 22 20:20:31 Bit cold f' walkin' round shirtless still Sep 22 20:20:43 * Morgan shrugs Sep 22 20:20:51 Maybe for you mere mortals... Sep 22 20:21:54 * HH scoffs "how come we got the same kin an' I got nothin'?" Sep 22 20:22:21 You don't want this shit man Sep 22 20:22:44 Magical ability t' work metal would be pretty cool Sep 22 20:23:14 * Morgan sighs Sep 22 20:23:35 Funny how far from where we started we are... we'd be horrified when we were younger Sep 22 20:23:42 * HH nods Sep 22 20:24:05 Now I'm thinkin' if you get a son like that I'll rent him from ya Sep 22 20:24:20 * HH tilts his head "that sounded better in my head" Sep 22 20:25:11 No doubt... it'll sound even worse when I repeat it in a while Sep 22 20:25:30 Great, thanks. Sep 22 20:26:20 * Morgan nods Sep 22 20:26:23 welcome Sep 22 20:27:32 Gonn' go warn my wife Sep 22 20:28:19 Yeah, lets go do that... Sep 22 20:29:45 *they go up, and though HH can hug Inga, Molly isn't there* Sep 22 20:30:11 Where's Molly? Sep 22 20:30:34 I: in the bedroom, she said she had something to see to Sep 22 20:30:48 [you alright blossom?] Sep 22 20:30:50 * Morgan nods Sep 22 20:30:52 alright Sep 22 20:31:02 [I will be] Sep 22 20:32:11 * Morgan heads into the bedroom Sep 22 20:32:22 * HH is now known as Molly Sep 22 20:32:40 * Molly is curled up on the bed sobbing quietly into the pillow Sep 22 20:33:03 Oh my love, whatevers wrong? Sep 22 20:33:17 It's all my fault! Sep 22 20:33:25 What is? Sep 22 20:33:35 Mina and Edward Sep 22 20:33:54 * Morgan sits by her Sep 22 20:34:01 Come on, talk to me Sep 22 20:34:56 You said they're at odds, and that is because I was too tough with her *she makes little hiccupy sobs* Sep 22 20:35:12 * Morgan pulls her into his lap, cradling her Sep 22 20:35:25 No, love. Not at all. Sep 22 20:35:29 * Molly holds on tight Sep 22 20:35:37 I should have been gentler Sep 22 20:36:30 No, she needed to hear it I think Sep 22 20:36:37 It just didn't go to plan, thats all Sep 22 20:36:57 But now they're struggling. What if they divorce because of me?! Sep 22 20:37:17 They're struggling because she decided to keep her feelings from him, not because you told her off Sep 22 20:38:00 * Molly sighs, continuing to weep a little "I can't fix it. I can't fix anything" Sep 22 20:38:35 None of us can fix their issues... they have to... now what else is it you think you can't fix? Sep 22 20:39:11 Hafenlohr and Gottkirchen, how you can't go home as you wished Sep 22 20:39:47 I will adapt. It was my choice. Sep 22 20:41:10 I just want to make you happy, and what if you're not happy there? Sep 22 20:41:44 I will be. I have no doubt of it Sep 22 20:42:45 * Molly nods, just staying close Sep 22 20:43:50 It'll be fine my love. Sep 22 20:44:51 * Molly nods Sep 22 20:44:55 I hope so Sep 22 20:46:00 * Morgan kisses the top of her head, rocking her gently Sep 22 20:46:18 * Molly gradually relaxes Sep 22 20:48:44 Its alright love. It'll be alright Sep 22 20:49:11 * Molly nods Sep 22 20:49:39 I just love you so very deeply, it is important to me that our life together pleases you Sep 22 20:50:52 It does and always will, providing you don't do something I will hate, like... choosing to leave so you could reunite me with my late wife... Sep 22 20:51:12 * Molly flinches Sep 22 20:52:07 I could not do so. It is not what you want Sep 22 20:52:20 I think subconsciously you still consider it Sep 22 20:53:54 * Molly sighs "I will never do it. But your life could be close to perfect" Sep 22 20:54:14 It already is. Sep 22 20:55:24 * Molly nods a little Sep 22 20:59:03 I will not leave you, even if it would mean you were perfectly happy. I need you to be imperfectly happy but with me Sep 22 20:59:31 * Morgan nods Sep 22 20:59:35 That is where I want to be Sep 22 21:00:18 Imperfectly happy together? Sep 22 21:00:35 I'm not so sure its imperfect Sep 22 21:01:09 We do not have Jana... there were paths where we have her too Sep 22 21:01:23 * Morgan nods Sep 22 21:01:27 That is true Sep 22 21:01:33 * Molly nods Sep 22 21:01:53 Almost-perfectly happy? Sep 22 21:02:47 * Morgan nods Sep 22 21:02:48 yes Sep 22 21:05:46 And you'll take that? Sep 22 21:05:51 * Morgan nods Sep 22 21:05:54 Absolutely I will Sep 22 21:06:34 * Molly nods Sep 22 21:07:01 I am sorry for what happened, but I am not sorry I have a life with you Sep 22 21:07:22 * Morgan nods Sep 22 21:07:23 indeed Sep 22 21:07:42 * Molly shifts to look at him Sep 22 21:07:55 You are the best thing that every happened to me Sep 22 21:08:05 * Morgan shakes his head Sep 22 21:08:06 Not at all Sep 22 21:08:17 Yes you are. Sep 22 21:09:38 I disagree Sep 22 21:10:38 Oh yes, quite frequently *she smiles* Sep 22 21:10:51 * Morgan nods Sep 22 21:11:04 Mina says she hopes she has not damaged your friendship Sep 22 21:11:31 * Molly looks sad again "it is I that might have done so" Sep 22 21:14:25 I don't think so. I think she understands your intent Sep 22 21:14:53 We will see in a few weeks, I suppose Sep 22 21:15:52 * Morgan shrugs Sep 22 21:15:59 I suppose... but I don't think you need to worry Sep 22 21:16:08 * Molly nods Sep 22 21:16:16 You are so good to me Sep 22 21:16:40 I'm glad you think so, but... I'm not sure I agree with you Sep 22 21:17:24 Why? Sep 22 21:18:09 Because you are frequently upset Sep 22 21:18:32 I have always been emotional Sep 22 21:19:05 I may have noticed that Sep 22 21:19:35 It's a flaw of mine, one of many *she smiles a little* Sep 22 21:20:10 * Morgan shrugs Sep 22 21:21:49 I wanted to talk to you about my working on our way home... Sep 22 21:21:56 * Molly nods Sep 22 21:22:00 Alright Sep 22 21:23:06 Including today, there are seven days of sailing... after that... *he shrugs* Sep 22 21:23:24 * Molly nods Sep 22 21:24:04 The children do need to see you each day... Sep 22 21:24:38 * Morgan nods Sep 22 21:24:40 Of course Sep 22 21:24:53 I don't want to work as much as I did on the way back from Capperlucia... Sep 22 21:25:17 No, I would rather you did not. I need time with you each day too Sep 22 21:26:07 * Morgan nods Sep 22 21:26:13 But I would like a command shift each day Sep 22 21:26:21 * Molly nods Sep 22 21:26:29 Of course, my love Sep 22 21:26:43 * Morgan nods Sep 22 21:26:48 I'll talk with Sorgi then Sep 22 21:27:06 * Molly nods Sep 22 21:27:18 I'd prefer mornings to middles Sep 22 21:28:01 * Morgan nods Sep 22 21:28:23 I'll discuss it with him... I imagine a varied set of shifts would be easiest for him to accomodate Sep 22 21:28:35 I like quiet hours and bedtimes for us... Sep 22 21:29:07 * Morgan nods Sep 22 21:29:10 aye Sep 22 21:30:07 I'm happy for you to work as you wish. I will be indisposed on Thursday Sep 22 21:30:34 That time already... Sep 22 21:31:07 Indeed it is. Maybe this time there will be signs of my fertility returning? Sep 22 21:31:15 * Morgan shrugs Sep 22 21:31:16 We can hope Sep 22 21:31:28 * Molly nods Sep 22 21:31:44 And if so, I'll be indisposed around five or six days Sep 22 21:32:29 * Morgan nods Sep 22 21:32:36 A sacrifice I am content to make Sep 22 21:32:48 * Molly nods, smiling Sep 22 21:33:03 There are other avenues available... Sep 22 21:33:14 true Sep 22 21:33:37 * Molly kisses his cheek Sep 22 21:33:55 And on that note, I should leave your lap and return to the children Sep 22 21:34:37 * Morgan nods Sep 22 21:34:40 Best had my love Sep 22 21:37:39 Before it gets too hard for you to get up? Sep 22 21:40:20 Come on, before HeinzHarold thinks we're up to something Sep 22 21:40:31 * Molly kisses him briefly Sep 22 21:40:50 Much as I'd rather make him correct! *she stands up* Sep 22 21:41:09 * Morgan nods, getting up Sep 22 21:41:42 * Molly smiles Sep 22 21:41:52 Come along, mon petit chou Sep 22 21:42:28 * Morgan nods, moving to open the door Sep 22 21:42:54 * Molly goes through it Sep 22 21:43:33 * Morgan follows her, closing the door behind him Sep 22 21:45:00 *the children are pleased to see him, and it will be hard to extricate himself to go to Sorgi if he wishes* Sep 22 21:45:40 * Morgan stays to play with the children a while, before looking at HeinzHarold Sep 22 21:45:54 Go see if Sorgi's on shift would you? If he isn't, I'd like to talk to him Sep 22 21:46:28 *HH is sat with Inga, holding hands and basically mooning at each other* Sep 22 21:46:39 HH: Yeah, no problem Sep 22 21:46:45 Thanks man Sep 22 21:47:02 *HH kisses her hand before going* Sep 22 21:47:17 U: Clowdia is working now Sep 22 21:47:55 * Morgan nods Sep 22 21:48:08 Good... that means I can speak to the captain Sep 22 21:49:13 *she nods, and starts reading again. Inga is smiling, and Alice smiles "He's quite a romantic". Sep 22 21:49:36 Besotted is what he is Sep 22 21:49:48 I: *she blushes* he's very sweet Sep 22 21:50:46 * Molly smiles, picking up Emil who reaches for her "I think it's nice" Sep 22 21:51:56 * Morgan nods Sep 22 21:54:04 U: *she frowns, then looks up from her book to Morgan* what does it mean when a man of Theah Main says "If I did not love you so much I might be able to talk about it more"? Sep 22 21:54:47 I think... that depends on the context... Sep 22 21:55:54 U: *she looks back over the page* they have misunderstood the feelings of each other, and he will propose a marriage in the next paragraph Sep 22 21:56:36 They do not know the depth of eachothers feelings? Sep 22 21:58:15 U: No. He thinks she likes another man that he hates, and she thinks he's going to say he loves her best friend Sep 22 21:58:29 * Morgan nods slowly Sep 22 21:59:06 So... what he's done there is admit his feelings to her without really making himself vulnerable. It is... difficult for us to be open and vulnerable Sep 22 21:59:47 U: Oh, it is a shield? He says he can't talk about it, so she won't ask him to tell her more? Sep 22 22:00:54 except... he's made the admission, telling her how he feels. Sep 22 22:01:58 U: Your men are confusing Sep 22 22:02:10 *this makes all the others laugh* Sep 22 22:02:35 * Morgan looks at her thoughtfully Sep 22 22:03:47 We are raised to be strong, protective. To have our duty and to perform it. Somewhere along the line it somehow came to be that being vulnerable or gentle is equated to weakness, and its been that way for a long long time. Sep 22 22:04:22 U: now you are all stuck like that? Sep 22 22:04:47 Its rather embedded in us. Sep 22 22:07:16 I think it could also be said by a woman too though. Sometimes there are just feelings so very big and powerful that if you speak them they could overwhelm you. And if you do not know if they are welcomed, it can feel like they might be too much for the other person Sep 22 22:07:45 * Morgan nods Sep 22 22:07:57 *Inga and Elsie are both watching Morgan, but Molly is just trying to get her hair from Emil's hand* Sep 22 22:08:52 U: it is a big risk here when there are all the games of courting? Sep 22 22:09:36 Sometimes Sep 22 22:11:21 Inga: it's like if you say it, it's out in the world, and you can't put it back inside. From that point on, everything is different. That's a really big thing for some couples Sep 22 22:12:06 *Alice, who is working at the desk, says nothing, but she looks thoughtful* Sep 22 22:12:27 * Morgan watches Alice Sep 22 22:13:54 Elsie: I think he means that he doesn't have the right words, maybe he's not too good with fancy sentiments. He could try and tell her, but it will just fall short of doing his deep love justice Sep 22 22:20:42 perhaps Sep 22 22:20:59 *James shrugs, holding the sleeping Thomas* I think it seems quite self-explanatory. He loves her so much he can't bring himself to say it easily. it's a big deal to him. If he didn't care about her as much, it'd be easier just to say I love you, or flatter her, without it mattering. The reaction wouldn't matter as much. It's become part of who he Sep 22 22:20:59 is. Sep 22 22:21:53 * Morgan smiles slightly Sep 22 22:21:56 *Smiles pass between Elsie, Inga, and Molly, but Uinise just nods, and Alice continues her paperwork* Sep 22 22:22:29 I like that Sep 22 22:23:02 *James nods* glad I'm not just barking up the wrong tree Sep 22 22:23:24 Alice, what are you doing? Sep 22 22:23:55 A: I'm just projecting earnings for over the spring and summer Sep 22 22:24:44 * Morgan nods Sep 22 22:24:47 Ah, I see Sep 22 22:25:21 U: *a few minutes later, she says* oh, they're getting married now! Sep 22 22:25:34 * Morgan nods Sep 22 22:25:53 That follows... bet he didn't have to get bullied into admitting his feelings to himself... Sep 22 22:26:44 U: no... now I know it I see where the author showed us all along, but the female character is the voice of the book, and she lies Sep 22 22:27:12 Oh really? Sep 22 22:27:57 * Molly smiles "we call that 'an unreliable narrator'. It has us viewing the story a particular way, from the view of an individual who is blinded by their own feelings or views" Sep 22 22:28:35 U: *she smiles* I was tricked! I believed it Sep 22 22:30:00 U: There was no bullying, he seems to know he loved her always Sep 22 22:30:20 * Morgan nods Sep 22 22:31:22 U: do people bully here? Sep 22 22:32:02 * Molly smiles at Emil "Do you think Vati should tell everyone about when he fell in love with Mama, little lamb? Would that be fun?" Sep 22 22:32:18 I figured you'd have done that already Sep 22 22:32:24 *Emil grins* Mama! Sep 22 22:32:37 * Molly shakes her head Sep 22 22:32:41 Only Inga Sep 22 22:34:01 * Morgan nods slightly Sep 22 22:34:41 *everyone is watching him* Sep 22 22:36:57 Its important to understand that for a long time I didn't care... about anything or anyone. I couldn't. I was overwhelmed by guilt and anger and grief. Slowly, very slowly, Molly and I became friends... Sep 22 22:37:47 *there are nods* Sep 22 22:39:17 I came to realise I didn't want to be apart from her but I couldn't even admit to myself how much I cared for her... that eventually I loved her. We made arrangements to move into a cottage on the Torrington estate, to be together but... thats as far as it would go... Sep 22 22:40:05 *he sees a little glance between Inga and Molly, a little smile* Sep 22 22:41:16 I had made a friend... a Montaigne captain, just about the only Montaigne I've ever been able to tolerate... when I told her, she was, lets say, not impressed. Sep 22 22:45:26 U: why not? Sep 22 22:46:44 A number of reasons... she was of the opinion that I should marry Molly. I... felt it was not the right thing to do, that it would be a dishonour to my late wife... Siobahn disagreed vehemently and, for the first time since we met, we argued. Sep 22 22:47:21 U: But you were no longer a married man. You were free to wed Sep 22 22:47:47 * Molly kisses Emil's hands in turn Sep 22 22:47:59 I had not properly grieved. As far as I was concerned, I was still married... I had not let her go. Sep 22 22:48:36 U: but she persuaded you to marry Molly? Sep 22 22:48:48 Not... exactly. Sep 22 22:49:00 [gosh, how unflattering that sounds! *she sounds amused*] Sep 22 22:49:18 Alice: what happened then? Sep 22 22:50:30 As I said, we argued. She was telling me I was wrong, and stupid for not marrying her, and I told her the reasons I could not marry her. And it went like that right up until, without warning, she told me I was right, I had no business marrying her and that I could not and should not. Sep 22 22:51:01 *Uinise frowns* You had changed her mind? Or was she lying? Sep 22 22:51:45 Well... I think she was tricking me. And it worked. -immediately- I told her I could marry her if I wanted, and thats what I would do. Sep 22 22:52:43 A: bait and switch Sep 22 22:52:50 * Morgan nods Sep 22 22:53:50 An Eisen man in full swing in an argument will take up the opposing view to the point of being fooled into saying the opposite of what they thought... but, by the time I realised that, I'd said it. I'd admitted my feelings out loud. I couldn't hide them anymore. Sep 22 22:53:59 J: I'm surprised you got caught by that Sep 22 22:54:21 I can honestly say I've not been caught out like that since I was very young Sep 22 22:55:02 U: Then did you tell Molly if you loved her less you could talk about it more, or something like that? Sep 22 22:55:24 * Molly smiles, rubbing her nose to Emil's Sep 22 22:56:07 Something like that, yes. I told her that I couldn't in good faith live with her, it wasn't right... I found it very hard to admit to her what I wanted. Sep 22 22:56:51 And -I- thought he was telling me that he was ending things because he was in love with said Montaigne friend! Sep 22 22:57:28 *Elsie and Alice find this funny* Sep 22 22:57:43 U: You are like characters in these books Sep 22 22:57:55 * Morgan nods slightly Sep 22 22:57:57 I suppose we are Sep 22 22:58:18 * Molly smiles at him Sep 22 22:58:40 You think that, that our story is a beautiful yet complex romance? Sep 22 22:59:42 It does sort of follow, doesn't it... Sep 22 23:02:10 * Molly smiles, watching him "That's very sweet" Sep 22 23:03:09 * Morgan smiles slightly Sep 22 23:05:02 * Morgan has quit (Quit: This computer has gone to sleep) Sep 22 23:57:16 * Molly has quit (Read error: EOF from client)