**** BEGIN LOGGING AT Thu Feb 2 01:09:26 2023 Feb 02 01:09:26 * MorganK (~madisonst@Madisons-Air.lan) has joined Feb 02 01:13:53 * MollyK (~igloo@CrystabllesiPad.lan) has joined Feb 02 01:15:57 * MollyK is stood by the rear window, singing to Amir, a lively Avalonian nursery rhyme. Varick is playing with Ulysses, the four other grown ups at the table Feb 02 01:16:15 * MorganK enters quietly, walking over to Molly Feb 02 01:17:19 * MollyK smiles at him, still rocking the baby Feb 02 01:17:49 *she speaks quietly* do you wish me to ask them to move to the ballroom? Feb 02 01:18:28 No love...I've just come to tell you I'll be in the hold... going to start work on some furniture, hopefully it'll fill my mind for a while Feb 02 01:19:40 * MollyK watches him gently. Amir reaches out an arm for him Feb 02 01:19:58 I can come with you if you wish? Feb 02 01:20:18 * MorganK takes hold of Amir's hand absently Feb 02 01:20:49 No, its fine... I just... being in the nest all alone with nothing to do but look around and think wasn't doing me any good Feb 02 01:22:14 * MollyK nods "if you wish me to join you, you can just let me know. Was it dreadful last night?" Feb 02 01:22:40 In some ways, yes Feb 02 01:23:57 Do you need to talk before you start? Feb 02 01:26:31 If you wish... but there's nothing much new Feb 02 01:27:24 * MollyK looks so hopeful when she says "it was blue at the end though?" Feb 02 01:27:59 * MorganK sighs, shaking his head Feb 02 01:28:06 No love... two more nights, I reckon Feb 02 01:28:43 * MorganK pretends to eat Amir's hand Feb 02 01:29:20 *Amir chuckes* Feb 02 01:29:24 Two?! Feb 02 01:29:58 I'd say it'll coincide with... the anniversary... Feb 02 01:35:01 Oh no. *she sighs, hugging the boy closer* Feb 02 01:35:34 * MorganK nods Feb 02 01:35:40 It is what it is Feb 02 01:36:55 * MollyK nods Feb 02 01:37:29 Maybe once it's over it'll ease. We just have to hold on Feb 02 01:38:13 Claudia has suggested I sleep in a small boat chained at a distance to the Rose Feb 02 01:38:59 * MollyK looks troubled Feb 02 01:39:16 Oh... then I will sleep there with you. Feb 02 01:39:27 No love... Feb 02 01:40:04 I share a bed with my husband. Feb 02 01:40:38 For your own safety, no. I haven't decided it will be necessary yet... Feb 02 01:41:24 * MollyK looks displeased Feb 02 01:41:33 That would be a command? Feb 02 01:41:44 If it needed to be Feb 02 01:42:46 I see. I think that unnecessary and painful Feb 02 01:43:27 You must be protected. It is the most effective way to do that that doesn't involve me getting off in Jura and going home Feb 02 01:43:51 That is the alternative? Feb 02 01:44:12 Its-an- alternative Feb 02 01:44:55 I did not know that was even someone that might be considered Feb 02 01:46:20 You -must- be kept safe. I'm worried that I'm far from being safe Feb 02 01:47:29 I do not like it, my place is at your side to help you, not shut away in our bedroom without mutual comfort and closeness. Feb 02 01:48:12 How about... we go to the hold and discuss this Feb 02 01:49:52 * MollyK nods. She moves towards the main door as if she'll will automatically take Amir with her before suddenly remembering, stopping in her tracks Feb 02 01:50:12 Becomes second nature very quickly doesn't it Feb 02 01:51:41 * MollyK nods, handing him back to Zareen Feb 02 01:51:55 Shall we? Feb 02 01:52:07 * MorganK nods, heading out the door Feb 02 01:52:13 * MorganK has quit (Quit: This computer has gone to sleep) Feb 02 01:55:55 * MollyK has quit (Read error: EOF from client) Feb 02 10:44:15 * Morgan (~mads@iMac-2.lan) has joined Feb 02 11:22:38 * MollyK (~igloo@CrystabllesiPad.lan) has joined Feb 02 11:26:57 /me follows to him to the hold, looking at the pens Feb 02 11:27:03 These are good Feb 02 11:27:12 * Morgan nods Feb 02 11:27:54 Riekers been building them himself... I've told him he needs to get others to do it Feb 02 11:29:32 * MollyK nods, touching the wood Feb 02 11:29:36 Wise Feb 02 11:30:28 I thought so Feb 02 11:32:11 * MollyK nods Feb 02 11:32:16 You might leave. Feb 02 11:32:59 * Morgan sighs, sitting on one of the pens Feb 02 11:33:11 These dreams, they make me a danger to you Feb 02 11:36:02 I can stop you losing control, but only if you turn to me for help. Feb 02 11:36:10 * MollyK remains standing Feb 02 11:37:06 And if you're wrong? If it becomes uncontrollable because my mind breaks? Feb 02 11:37:41 * MollyK shakes her head Feb 02 11:37:49 You are too strong for that Feb 02 11:38:08 * Morgan hangs his head Feb 02 11:38:13 I'm not so sure about that Feb 02 11:39:40 I am. I am certain of it. Feb 02 11:41:07 I wish I was Feb 02 11:42:06 You've endured much worse, my love Feb 02 11:42:48 No... this is different Feb 02 11:45:29 I've got a suspicion this won't end until I've had to break my little girls heart Feb 02 11:45:50 * MollyK sighs with frustration Feb 02 11:46:24 I hate this! I hate the way you are suffering, and the stupid paths, and the destiny, and all of it! Feb 02 11:46:49 * Morgan nods Feb 02 11:48:57 I don't want to have to save the world. I want to just looks after a few towns of people, travel to new places, and have babies! Feb 02 11:49:32 I'm afraid that is not a choice we are able to make Feb 02 11:51:18 No. It never has been, has it? One way or another, we have to struggle along with these things without any help. Feb 02 11:52:11 * Morgan nods, taking his flask out and sipping from it Feb 02 11:52:41 * MollyK takes a slow breath, then another one, deeper, dropping her shoulders a little Feb 02 11:53:16 I'm sorry. I'm upset and scared that again I am facing having to go without you because you are staying behind Feb 02 11:53:54 I don't know what would happen if you knocked me out if I'm about to lose control... and if my mind breaks... Feb 02 11:55:04 Nor do I. But when I have used it to calm the worst of it, it feels like there is a battle between our magics. Feb 02 11:55:12 * Morgan nods Feb 02 11:55:15 I have noticed that Feb 02 11:57:12 If your mind was to break, I could fix at least some of the physiological components. And I have given you light again before, I -will- do whatever I can to bring you back to me. Feb 02 11:58:08 * Morgan sighs Feb 02 11:59:47 The nieblungen can wipe memories, and they would be taking those from you. *she looks resolute on this* Feb 02 12:00:50 I don't wish to have them meddling with my mind. Feb 02 12:01:37 If it breaks, they will fix it. Feb 02 12:02:17 And if I lose control so badly you cannot stop it and I blow a hole in the ship, condemning us and -everyone-? Feb 02 12:03:04 So what, you will stay away from me forever?! Feb 02 12:03:33 I... can't do that. Feb 02 12:04:14 Because of the convergence? Feb 02 12:04:33 Because I can't bear to be away from you Feb 02 12:05:16 Then us leaving you in Jura is a moot point Feb 02 12:05:53 * Morgan sighs, looking miserable Feb 02 12:07:42 I will obey you commands, as I must. But I am vehemently against leaving you behind for twelve weeks, and I am making you aware of my objection to that decision. Feb 02 12:07:58 * Morgan nods slowly Feb 02 12:08:02 It is noted. Feb 02 12:08:14 * MollyK nods Feb 02 12:08:52 I would appreciate you informing me of your decision as soon as possible so I can prepare myself and our son for the outcome. Feb 02 12:10:17 I don't want to go. I'm... I'm -scared- that I will hurt you, hurt Varick. I don't know I can cope with having to do what I am certain is the only way these dreams will end. Feb 02 12:11:04 Maybe that's not how it will go Feb 02 12:11:50 We both know it is the cruellest way it could go, so its the most likely. Feb 02 12:13:04 * MollyK sighs Feb 02 12:13:26 When we get home, the Nibelungen must be pressed to do more Feb 02 12:15:58 * Morgan sighs Feb 02 12:16:25 What the hell do we do if stopping these things also prevent us from getting warning of what's coming? Feb 02 12:17:19 What good will those warnings be if, as you say, we are killed or you are unable to deal with them? Feb 02 12:17:47 * Morgan shrugs Feb 02 12:20:49 We cannot go on like this. Feb 02 12:21:04 Where I am a liability Feb 02 12:21:19 Where you are -suffering-. Feb 02 12:22:00 * Morgan nods, picking up a small offcut of wood Feb 02 12:23:47 I'm tired of feeling like I am a danger to everyone because of my dreams... of -dreading- going to sleep each night... of trying to find a way to not sleep. Feb 02 12:24:15 * MollyK nods Feb 02 12:24:23 You need to be rested to work Feb 02 12:24:47 * Morgan nods Feb 02 12:24:55 Rieker challenged my fitness to work this morning Feb 02 12:26:04 Was he correct? Feb 02 12:26:51 I was fit to work Feb 02 12:27:27 But? Feb 02 12:28:04 Like I said, after a while I realised it probably wasn't good for me. I was rather surprised he challenged me though Feb 02 12:28:32 * MollyK nods Feb 02 12:28:48 It is surprising Feb 02 12:28:57 * Morgan nods Feb 02 12:29:00 Yes it is Feb 02 12:31:06 * MollyK nods Feb 02 12:31:38 I am at a loss. I cannot help with magic, I cannot help with my intellect Feb 02 12:32:44 * Morgan concentrates on the wood, sending trails of small flames across it Feb 02 12:32:52 What would you have me do? Feb 02 12:33:13 Not leave me. Feb 02 12:34:19 * Morgan looks pained Feb 02 12:35:33 * MollyK just watches the wood Feb 02 12:35:55 I know it would be an effort to protect me, but it would not feel so Feb 02 12:36:19 Why? Feb 02 12:38:03 It just would. Twelve weeks without you is something I have done before, and I did not enjoy it. Feb 02 12:38:54 * Morgan nods, turning the wood over Feb 02 12:38:57 okay Feb 02 12:42:26 I do not like the idea of you sleeping in a second boat, but I might be able to compromise on that if it brings you peace of mind Feb 02 12:44:38 * Morgan nods Feb 02 12:44:54 I don't -want- to go... you know that, don't you? Feb 02 12:46:21 Yes, I do. Aside from how much it will hurt to leave us all, you would never want to miss out of sailing out into unknown oceans on the fastest ship on the waves Feb 02 12:46:45 * Morgan nods Feb 02 12:48:51 I wish I could take some of the nightmares for you Feb 02 12:49:00 * Morgan nods Feb 02 12:49:16 Claudia said she'd be willing to dream of Erlangen if it took this from me Feb 02 12:50:48 * MollyK nods sadly Feb 02 12:51:07 I'd endure any nightmare for you Feb 02 12:53:08 * Morgan nods, concentrating on the wood until a small K has appeared in charring in the centre of it Feb 02 12:53:56 I don't know if, when I reach that point, the magic has to be expended... what if knocking me out makes it worse? Feb 02 12:57:19 Maybe it won't. Maybe if you are unconscious it stops. Maybe the shield from the shards would stop it, maybe the shards can take the excess energy, just like the wall of raw dracheneisen in the mine absorbed my magic? Feb 02 12:58:39 Thats the problem... we can't find out without risking everyone Feb 02 13:00:27 We can try those things on a small scale if we can find some small island hereabouts Feb 02 13:01:32 We don't have time. We need to keep moving Feb 02 13:03:08 It'd be half a day at most. We will take the time from our two weeks there if needs be. Feb 02 13:04:23 * Morgan nods Feb 02 13:04:28 alright Feb 02 13:04:42 * Morgan concentrates again, creating a cleaner looking K next to the first Feb 02 13:04:53 Also... what are you doing? Feb 02 13:05:16 practicing Feb 02 13:07:47 * MollyK nods Feb 02 13:08:04 Perhaps that is what you need with the loss of control? Feb 02 13:08:57 * Morgan shrugs Feb 02 13:08:59 I don't know Feb 02 13:09:22 Can you make that feeling happen? Feb 02 13:09:29 * Morgan shrugs Feb 02 13:09:44 I wouldn't know... it is a feeling I avoid... Feb 02 13:10:02 * MollyK nods, thoughtful Feb 02 13:10:31 Perhaps you could master it that way Feb 02 13:11:03 I don't see how Feb 02 13:14:30 Perhaps you would become less alarmed by it, and make it easier to calm it Feb 02 13:17:47 You think so? Feb 02 13:20:00 I think it is worth a try. Try to gently approach that point and sit with it, I will be on hand to calm it or knock you out Feb 02 13:20:28 I don't know how Feb 02 13:22:10 Try to focus on the feelings you wake with? Feb 02 13:23:14 You are suggesting I do this now? Feb 02 13:23:40 * MollyK shrugs Feb 02 13:23:51 Might it be easier when it is fresh? Feb 02 13:25:04 I don't know Feb 02 13:26:54 It is up to you, my love Feb 02 13:28:03 * Morgan nods, putting the piece of wood down and concentrating Feb 02 13:29:37 *he feels the magical potential build first* Feb 02 13:31:37 * Morgan carries on Feb 02 13:32:34 *it gets to a mild level, and then moderate. The lack of control feeling starts very slightly* Feb 02 13:33:13 * Morgan breathes slowly before pushing again Feb 02 13:34:21 *the potential becomes moderate, loss of control mild* Feb 02 13:36:27 And I'm supposed to do what? Feb 02 13:38:05 Just let it be. Are you coping? Do you need help? Feb 02 13:38:42 * Morgan shakes his head Feb 02 13:38:50 'M ok... but its only mild Feb 02 13:40:10 * MollyK nods Feb 02 13:40:28 Let's go gently for now... Feb 02 13:40:52 * Morgan nods Feb 02 13:40:58 Won't do me any good tomorrow... Feb 02 13:41:59 *he notices it's starting to drop* Feb 02 13:42:25 Its starting to lessen... Feb 02 13:42:39 * MollyK nods, smiling Feb 02 13:42:44 Alright, that's good Feb 02 13:43:41 * Morgan nods, waiting it out Feb 02 13:44:39 *it goes, the loss of control first, then the potential* Feb 02 13:46:00 * Morgan nods slightly Feb 02 13:46:03 Its gone Feb 02 13:46:41 * MollyK nods Feb 02 13:46:48 How do you feel? Feb 02 13:47:40 normal Feb 02 13:48:20 * MollyK smiles Feb 02 13:48:51 Good. It might not help, but I feel better trying anything than nothing Feb 02 13:50:08 * Morgan nods, picking the the piece of wood again, concentrating and bringing out another K in the wood Feb 02 13:50:18 Liebes herz? Feb 02 13:50:51 Yes? Feb 02 13:50:54 Would you like me to hold you a minute? Feb 02 13:51:00 * Morgan nods Feb 02 13:51:02 Yes, I would Feb 02 13:51:16 * MollyK comes over, opening her arms Feb 02 13:53:57 * Morgan stands, wrapping his arms around her and laying his cheek on her crown Feb 02 13:54:31 Oh, I have an idea! *she gently lets go* Feb 02 13:54:56 Oh? Feb 02 13:56:01 * MollyK climbs up, sitting on the highest bit of the pen. She parts her legs so he can get closer, making his head at the height of her upper chest and curve of her neck. She opens her arms again Feb 02 13:57:45 * Morgan nods slightly, moving back into her arms Feb 02 14:00:09 * MollyK wraps him up in her embrace now, protectively Feb 02 14:01:03 * Morgan sighs, laying his head against her shoulder Feb 02 14:02:19 * MollyK strokes the back of his head, speaking soothingly Feb 02 14:02:53 You're going to get through this, my love. You don't believe it now, but you will. Feb 02 14:03:22 * Morgan nods slightly, pressing his face to her shoulder Feb 02 14:05:03 * MollyK kisses his temple, speaking even quieter Feb 02 14:05:11 It's alright, I have you. Feb 02 14:06:53 * Morgan nods silently, breathing slowly Feb 02 14:07:57 * MollyK sings Now And Forever quietly to him Feb 02 14:09:44 * Morgan stays where he is for a few minutes before pulling away Feb 02 14:10:43 * MollyK watches him "are you alright?" Feb 02 14:11:56 * Morgan nods Feb 02 14:12:41 * MollyK kisses him gently Feb 02 14:14:36 I suspect I'll be down here quite a bit once we've stopped in Jura... Feb 02 14:14:45 * MollyK nods Feb 02 14:15:01 I'll endeavour to manage, my love Feb 02 14:15:34 I think perhaps I'll keep it from Inga until its finished... Feb 02 14:17:05 * MollyK nods, smiling Feb 02 14:17:14 That would be very sweet Feb 02 14:18:12 * Morgan nods slightly Feb 02 14:18:14 I suppose so Feb 02 14:18:49 * MollyK nods Feb 02 14:19:06 She will be such a lovely mother Feb 02 14:19:31 * Morgan nods Feb 02 14:19:33 I think so Feb 02 14:21:23 * MollyK smiles "would you like me to leave you to your work now?" Feb 02 14:21:44 I'll not be long, there's not a great deal I can do until I get more timber Feb 02 14:23:22 * MollyK hops down Feb 02 14:23:55 If you want Heinzharold for company, I can tell him you're down here handling your wood? *she smiles innocently* Feb 02 14:24:12 * Morgan nods Feb 02 14:24:22 Aye... I don't think being alone is going to be a good idea right now Feb 02 14:24:55 * MollyK nods "how different that is from in Tawstock..." Feb 02 14:25:23 * Morgan nods, sighing Feb 02 14:25:29 I'm not the same anymore Feb 02 14:26:30 No, you're so much better Feb 02 14:27:08 * Morgan nods Feb 02 14:27:10 yes... I am Feb 02 14:28:42 * MollyK nods Feb 02 14:28:55 I'll see you in a while, my love Feb 02 14:29:03 Alright blossom Feb 02 14:30:11 * MollyK is replace by Heinzharold ten minutes later Feb 02 14:30:33 * MollyK looks like he's planning to lounge around rather than helpful Feb 02 14:30:36 * MollyK is now known as HH Feb 02 14:31:06 Go an' keep Morgan company, she says, then talks at me for ten minutes straight! Feb 02 14:31:19 Oh? What'd she say? Feb 02 14:32:51 Tellin' me she wantin' you supported, another dream but she don't know the details, wishin' she could make it go away Feb 02 14:33:42 * Morgan nods, handing him a square block of wood before starting filing another piece Feb 02 14:33:47 Hold that... what else? Feb 02 14:34:20 * HH holds it Feb 02 14:35:04 I dunno, man. Something about you sleeping in a boat in Jura? Feb 02 14:35:44 * Morgan nods Feb 02 14:36:01 Claudia suggested it... I reckon I've got another two nights of this at least Feb 02 14:36:22 Same shit again? Feb 02 14:36:38 * Morgan nods Feb 02 14:37:01 Got an awful feeling its not going to end until I've had to explain why we can't be together as a family to Jana... Feb 02 14:38:39 * HH grimaces Feb 02 14:38:43 Shit, man. Feb 02 14:39:31 * Morgan nods, filing at the wood Feb 02 14:40:28 Gon' be brutal Feb 02 14:40:40 Yeah... I know... Feb 02 14:40:52 Reck'n that'll be tonight? Feb 02 14:42:12 * Morgan shakes his head Feb 02 14:42:23 No, I suspect tomorrow night Feb 02 14:42:35 'Cos that's the anniversary Feb 02 14:43:45 * Morgan nods Feb 02 14:43:46 Yeah Feb 02 14:48:50 That gon' be the last one then? Feb 02 14:51:51 Thats what I reckon... unless there's worse after that Feb 02 14:52:41 I keep wond'ring if you'll do summat like swive her Feb 02 14:53:00 No. Feb 02 14:53:17 * HH shrugs Feb 02 14:53:48 Whatcha thin? You get back, Molly's gone, y' lose 'em both? Feb 02 14:55:25 Thinkin'* Feb 02 14:55:34 * Morgan shrugs Feb 02 14:56:04 Dunno... maybe the stress of it has broken Mollys mind... Feb 02 14:57:07 August You doesn' know about that happ'nin' when she was a kid either, right? Feb 02 14:58:01 Cecily? Feb 02 14:58:43 Yeah, Molly losin' all that sleep an' seeing the stuff that wasn' there Feb 02 15:01:24 * Morgan nods Feb 02 15:01:25 Yeah Feb 02 15:01:35 * Morgan looks over Feb 02 15:01:43 I mean, yeah, I didn't know Feb 02 15:01:58 * HH nods Feb 02 15:02:24 Prob'ly best, y'd be shittin' yer breeches if y' did Feb 02 15:02:46 * Morgan nods Feb 02 15:02:48 Yeah, quite Feb 02 15:03:33 This shit's worse than just dreamin' the fire? Feb 02 15:04:02 In a lot of ways, yeah Feb 02 15:04:45 * HH nods Feb 02 15:04:56 Can't get much worse Feb 02 15:06:28 * Morgan shrugs slightly, blowing sawdust off the piece he's working on Feb 02 15:07:54 Shame y' can't just go back to th' simple ones about Molly as th' spy Feb 02 15:08:06 Those are... done. Feb 02 15:08:51 How d'you know? Feb 02 15:10:13 Turned blue just before the Ashkoven Feb 02 15:11:45 Goes blue an' y' wake up? Feb 02 15:12:13 Sort of, yeah... hold that up a bit Feb 02 15:15:23 I didn't come t' work. Can y' do that thing Molly can about dreamin' when y' know yer dreamin'? Feb 02 15:15:35 * HH holds it up Feb 02 15:16:15 Yes, but only once it reaches a certain point, or I'm in one of her dreams Feb 02 15:17:54 I'd get myself some wings Feb 02 15:18:23 Tend to learn things in her dreams Feb 02 15:20:48 * Morgan glances at the piece of wood his friend is holding up before nodding slightly, filing grooves into the piece he's holding Feb 02 15:22:38 Yeah? Feb 02 15:22:57 * Morgan nods Feb 02 15:23:04 Wings might put her off, see... Feb 02 15:23:43 You could be an angel sent to make her earth quake Feb 02 15:24:03 Thats just every other day Feb 02 15:24:26 * HH sniggers Feb 02 15:24:51 Y' could make yerself better at sex, like me Feb 02 15:25:21 I've received no complaints Feb 02 15:25:47 B'cause y' got cloth ears Feb 02 15:26:15 * Morgan glances at him Feb 02 15:26:19 That is a possibility Feb 02 15:27:13 I only 'eard good things tha' Molly say to Inga, an' Nothing from before Feb 02 15:28:12 * Morgan nods Feb 02 15:29:59 Dietlinde was extremely private Feb 02 15:30:33 * HH nods "didn't really have close friends like Molly does with Inga too" Feb 02 15:31:04 No, she didn't... but she didn't before we married either Feb 02 15:34:18 Wasn' the type for the sorta chat they go on with Feb 02 15:34:59 * Morgan shakes his head Feb 02 15:35:02 No, she wasn't Feb 02 15:36:43 You guys 'ad a really diff'rent marriage Feb 02 15:36:47 * Morgan nods Feb 02 15:37:00 Aye, we did... but... I was a different person then Feb 02 15:37:16 * HH nods, looking at the wood Feb 02 15:37:39 Gotta say, I was 'appy for y', but I did kinda feel a bit left out, Feb 02 15:37:47 * Morgan nods Feb 02 15:38:07 The more people that knew, the higher the risk of my father finding out... Feb 02 15:38:34 * HH nods Feb 02 15:38:54 Meant once y' were settled. Y' didn' need me so much Feb 02 15:39:41 Ah... I always needed you, just... we were finding our way, y'know? Feb 02 15:42:30 * HH nods Feb 02 15:42:44 Y' were all loved up Feb 02 15:43:02 * Morgan nods Feb 02 15:43:08 yeah Feb 02 15:43:27 * Morgan stops what he's doing Feb 02 15:43:55 Aside from to start with in the war, I'd never gone without you around... you were... a constant. Feb 02 15:44:56 * HH nods Feb 02 15:45:31 Yeah, pastures new though. Husband, father... y' were more ready t' grow up than me Feb 02 15:46:09 * Morgan starts working again Feb 02 15:46:23 You get it now, though... I saw that moment hit you when you saw Inga... Feb 02 15:47:48 I got it then. You fell for 'er like my Da fell for my Ma Feb 02 15:48:02 * Morgan nods Feb 02 15:54:26 Your Ma gonn' be alright with you moving away? Feb 02 16:04:15 Yeah... think so Feb 02 16:19:33 You sure? Feb 02 16:22:43 Nope. She's still got our Ruth, but once she's married off I dunno what Ma will do Feb 02 16:23:24 Hard to know what's best to do... Feb 02 16:25:00 Maybe she'll move with one o' my sisters. Mebbie she'll move to my 'Ouse Feb 02 16:25:41 * Morgan nods slowly Feb 02 16:26:18 Pretty sure Inga will move back in with you Feb 02 16:31:24 If your Ma moves in with you? Feb 02 17:16:22 Yeah. Not tha' easy t' live with when yer not the golden boy Feb 02 17:17:16 Thought you were the golden boy Feb 02 17:18:19 That's what I mean Feb 02 17:19:21 Oh, I see, for Inga... Feb 02 17:19:58 Yeah Feb 02 17:20:17 * HH looks over the wood he's been given Feb 02 17:20:28 * Morgan nods Feb 02 17:23:07 She'd want things done 'er way, and so would Inga Feb 02 17:23:35 * Morgan nods Feb 02 17:23:43 How you gonn' handle it? Feb 02 17:23:58 'One she don't ask Feb 02 17:24:04 'Ope* Feb 02 17:26:20 risky Feb 02 17:29:16 Yeah. I don' wanna sell the family home, b'cause I might wanna move back there one day Feb 02 17:29:41 You've got fifteen hundred guilders in rocks, I don't see you needing to sell it Feb 02 17:33:05 Oh yeah. 'Opefully Jarvie's not too busy with baby prep t' have got it sold for me Feb 02 17:33:59 * Morgan shrugs Feb 02 17:34:31 Tough to say... she's changed quite a bit, so the baby prep might be taking more of her time than we expect... you do know I'll help you keep your family home, don't you? Feb 02 17:35:03 * HH looks at him Feb 02 17:35:50 I'm not struggling. Been on a retainer f' yer Da for years now. I can provide for me an' mine. Feb 02 17:36:27 * Morgan puts the wood down, turning to face him Feb 02 17:36:55 How about you take that attitude out of your voice and see what I said for what it is... one brother showing love to another. Feb 02 17:37:15 * HH rolls his shoulders "yeah, sorry man" Feb 02 17:38:22 * Morgan nods slightly, picking up the wood and file, going back to shaping the wood Feb 02 17:40:17 Been thinking... what about your house in Innesbruck? Feb 02 17:42:16 * HH sighs Feb 02 17:42:19 Tough one Feb 02 17:43:12 Why? Feb 02 17:44:09 Pretty sure we're just gon' be following you around, livin' near you Feb 02 17:45:04 You don't think you'll live there but don't want to sell it... Feb 02 17:45:41 Sounds pretty dumb, huh? Feb 02 17:46:34 Of course not... its the first place that was solely yours and Inga's. Its... special. The cottage at Hafenlohr will be special in a different way. Feb 02 17:49:44 Yeah. Dunno how long we'll be living there. Guess that depends on yer Da, you, and if y' save the world Feb 02 17:51:14 The hard part is going to not see it as temporary... but my father is in good health, I have no reason to believe it'll be any time soon... Feb 02 17:52:17 * HH nods Feb 02 17:52:59 Plus, you gonna want me keepin' an eye in Gottkirchen when yer in Sudlachenburg? Feb 02 17:53:30 I'll have overseers to do that... unless you're wanting to stay in one place... Feb 02 17:55:44 Dunno man. Gut says live close b'cause when you an' I got hero shit t'do our girls gonna need each other Feb 02 17:57:21 * Morgan nods Feb 02 17:57:36 Makes sense... Feb 02 17:59:04 Thirteen kids t' deal with, that's gonna be tough Feb 02 17:59:25 * Morgan nods, looking a little evasive Feb 02 17:59:47 * HH watches him Feb 02 17:59:50 What? Feb 02 18:00:10 Plus a fosterling shifter... and.... -maybe-... another adopted... Feb 02 18:00:42 Whoa! -another-?! Feb 02 18:00:54 Maybe Feb 02 18:01:12 * HH watches him Feb 02 18:01:32 Summat going on with Zareen? Feb 02 18:02:15 Not so far as I know... just... something we've mentioned, thats all Feb 02 18:02:28 Not Amir then? Feb 02 18:02:39 * Morgan smiles slightly Feb 02 18:02:44 If only Feb 02 18:03:23 * HH nods Feb 02 18:03:43 Me an' Inga been noticing that you guys are really fond o' the kid Feb 02 18:04:01 * Morgan glances at him Feb 02 18:04:14 He's a sweetheart Feb 02 18:06:30 * HH nods Feb 02 18:06:47 Cute. Seems t' like you Feb 02 18:08:02 * Morgan nods Feb 02 18:08:10 Children tend to, I've noticed Feb 02 18:08:27 * HH nods Feb 02 18:08:59 When y' tryin' t' bring Betuana back? Feb 02 18:09:21 Needs to be soon really. I feel for Sigfried Feb 02 18:09:42 * HH nods, turning the wood over and back Feb 02 18:09:46 Yeah... Feb 02 18:10:48 Stop waving it about will you? *he sighs* its a tough prospect... what if she can bring Betuana back but Amir loses his mother... Feb 02 18:12:21 * HH holds the wood properly Feb 02 18:12:35 Guess he'd need a new fam'ly Feb 02 18:12:54 Yeah but... its not ideal... Feb 02 18:13:45 No, but he gets 'is wife back Feb 02 18:13:56 * Morgan nods Feb 02 18:13:59 Is that worth the cost Feb 02 18:14:41 Not just 'im, it's their whole country, ain't it Feb 02 18:14:49 * Morgan nods Feb 02 18:14:50 yeah Feb 02 18:16:18 Him an' Zareen care, but her room is next to ours, and there's been no marital advantages as far as I know Feb 02 18:16:43 There's not attraction from what I can see... no... fireworks... Feb 02 18:19:56 Nope. I don' even get why, man. She's old enough t' be my Ma, but she's still gorgeous, an' really nurturin' Feb 02 18:20:07 * Morgan nods Feb 02 18:20:26 I like her very much. I'll be quite sad if we lose her Feb 02 18:20:44 * HH nods Feb 02 18:20:59 Mebbie it can't be done anyow Feb 02 18:21:11 No... just don't know Feb 02 18:22:34 * HH nods Feb 02 18:23:41 * Morgan looks at the pieces of wood he's been working on, running a thumb over each piece Feb 02 18:23:53 Needs sanding. Feb 02 18:24:32 Us'lly does. Think mebbie it's playin' in to yer dream? Feb 02 18:24:42 How so? Feb 02 18:25:42 His wife went away an' came back different Feb 02 18:25:56 Bit on the nose, don't you think? Feb 02 18:26:51 * HH nods Feb 02 18:27:44 Its possible, I suppose... just... unlikely... Feb 02 18:28:12 * HH nods Feb 02 18:28:54 Yeah. Gonna leave the decision to them? Feb 02 18:30:28 Well... thats another hurdle... magic is entirely frowned upon in the Empire, and thats all she knows... would -you- want to risk everything you are to become someone you have no idea about, possibly losing your love for your child? Feb 02 18:31:48 But the alternative is y' gotta move to a land where e'erything you know is looked down on, an' where e'eryone thinks they know you but they don't. Gon' be hard to fit it Feb 02 18:31:53 In* Feb 02 18:32:27 * Morgan nods Feb 02 18:32:34 I don't envy her in that at all Feb 02 18:33:33 Me either Feb 02 18:34:31 * Morgan nods, picking up the wood he's been working on and finding an empty crate to store them, closing the lid Feb 02 18:35:00 Gon' leave it til after Thursday? Feb 02 18:35:51 Might suggest Molly has a nosey, see if there's anything obvious wrong with her brain, then hold fire til after thursday Feb 02 18:36:16 * HH nods Feb 02 18:36:25 That gon' be another issue? Feb 02 18:36:32 Thursday? Feb 02 18:37:00 Well yeah, that an how Molly will react if she orphans the kid Feb 02 18:37:31 I don't know how she'll deal with that Feb 02 18:38:15 Yeah, we need t' wait a bit then, get you more at ease in case she needs ya Feb 02 18:40:33 * Morgan nods Feb 02 18:41:11 Let her have a feel for anything obvious, then hold off and hope I don't lose my mind in the meantime Feb 02 18:43:15 * HH nods Feb 02 18:43:29 Yeah man, I can't handle a second wife Feb 02 18:44:12 But if your Ma moves in with you you expect me to?! Feb 02 18:46:06 * HH sniggers Feb 02 18:46:39 Nah, you couldn't handle them either Feb 02 18:47:14 * Morgan nods, putting the tools away Feb 02 18:47:24 Probably right... I'm going for coffee, coming? Feb 02 18:53:25 * HH nods Feb 02 18:53:49 Must be nearly lunch. Y' supposed to be talkin' to Edward today? Feb 02 18:53:59 * Morgan nods Feb 02 18:54:04 Aye, and mother Feb 02 18:56:48 * Morgan looks at the block of wood in HeinzHarolds hand Feb 02 18:56:52 You bringing that with you? Feb 02 19:03:30 * HH puts it on top of the crate Feb 02 19:03:41 Wasn' planning to Feb 02 19:03:53 * Morgan nods, smiling slightly as he heads for the door Feb 02 19:04:09 * HH follows him out Feb 02 19:10:19 * HH has quit (Read error: Connection reset by peer) Feb 02 19:14:51 * MollyK (~igloo@CrystabllesiPad.lan) has joined Feb 02 19:15:00 [18:59:01] HH: *they give a hand with lunch before taking some back to Morgan's study. There's a noisy card game around the desk, and Inga has Amir on her lap, trying to stop him eating the cards* Feb 02 19:16:19 $Looks like we aint the only ones fond of him$ Feb 02 19:16:53 $never met a child she doesn't love$ Feb 02 19:17:50 * Morgan nods, finding somewhere to put the food Feb 02 19:20:35 *the card game eventually breaks up so they can eat. Xsarlac has Amir to help feed him food from the plate, a stage that used to see Morgan putting down an old holey sheet to protect the floor from Jana's occassional flinging and frequent dropping* Feb 02 19:21:26 * Morgan watches them Feb 02 19:22:03 [I was thinking... maybe trying to get an idea today if there's anything obvious wrong with Zareens brain, or mind that you can detect...] Feb 02 19:25:20 [of course, my love. Should I do that whilst you talk to Edward?] Feb 02 19:26:10 *it's very sweet. Xsarlac is clearly a very experienced primary caregiver, which seems so at odds with the mad monk Morgan was used to* Feb 02 19:26:38 [It'd be worth knowing I think, so yes, if you wouldn't mind. I think we need to talk to Sigfried about the possible consequences if Betuana returns] Feb 02 19:31:20 [shall we handle it together?] *he sees a little smile and a sudden blush, but she doesn't look up from her plate* Feb 02 19:46:10 * MollyK has quit (Read error: Connection reset by peer) Feb 02 19:59:30 * MollyK (~igloo@CrystabllesiPad.lan) has joined Feb 02 19:59:55 [19:16:26] MollyK: [shall we handle it together?] *he sees a little smile and a sudden blush, but she doesn't look up from her plate* Feb 02 20:00:11 [uhhh, yes...] Feb 02 20:01:43 [the umm... conversation] Feb 02 20:02:26 * MollyK still doesn't look up, but she does look daydreamy Feb 02 20:03:32 [uh huh] Feb 02 20:03:52 Xsarlac, this conflicts with my image of you Feb 02 20:08:46 * MollyK is now known as Xsarlac Feb 02 20:08:55 * Xsarlac nods Feb 02 20:09:05 I'm not as crazy as you thought? Feb 02 20:09:35 I didn't think you were crazy, as such Feb 02 20:10:59 * Xsarlac nods Feb 02 20:11:32 I raised five children of ours and helped with hundreds of others Feb 02 20:12:11 * Morgan nods Feb 02 20:12:12 It shows Feb 02 20:14:18 * Xsarlac smiles at Amir before looking back to Morgan Feb 02 20:15:40 It's just how it is in Capperlucia. My last child is quite grown now, he's fifteen Feb 02 20:17:13 * Morgan nods Feb 02 20:17:36 [I think we need to discuss how to approach it with Zareen...] Feb 02 20:19:56 [we will have quiet hour, after Edward. You know how your brother and sister in law are, they will finish promptly] Feb 02 20:20:14 [But mother...] Feb 02 20:21:59 [is to be after two] Feb 02 20:22:30 [oh... ok] Feb 02 20:22:51 Xsarlac, sometime this afternoon, can you make yourself available to talk? Feb 02 20:25:30 * Xsarlac nods, holding bread to the baby's mouth "I can" Feb 02 20:26:15 * Morgan nods Feb 02 20:26:25 Thank you Feb 02 20:29:16 *Varick chats away to the grown ups, and soon wants to play on the floor with Amir, rolling a ball of wool to the smiley baby. Ulysses watches from the couch with an expression that almost looks a little put out* Feb 02 20:29:47 * Morgan taps quietly on the table to get the cats attention Feb 02 20:34:12 * Xsarlac has quit (Read error: EOF from client) Feb 02 20:40:59 * MollyK (~igloo@CrystabllesiPad.lan) has joined Feb 02 20:41:19 *he gets up onto Morgan's lap* Feb 02 20:42:15 * Morgan fusses him, giving him little bits of meat as he eats his lunch Feb 02 20:45:15 *it's a nice meal, but soon it's time to get ready to talk to Edward, and so Molly collects Amir and goes with the others, leaving Varick with Morgan* Feb 02 20:45:29 * MollyK is now known as Varick Feb 02 20:46:16 Papa, did my Daddy look after me like Xsarlac looks after Amir? Feb 02 20:46:51 I'm afraid I don't know, Varick, I wasn't there Feb 02 20:49:35 Oh okay. Admit is really lucky to know his mama and papa Feb 02 20:50:10 * Morgan strokes the boys hair Feb 02 20:50:17 Is something bothering you? Feb 02 20:52:08 No, Papa. But I do miss my Daddy a little bit today Feb 02 20:52:27 * Morgan nods, kneeling down to cuddle the boy Feb 02 20:53:34 What can I do to help? Feb 02 20:55:43 * Varick hugs him Feb 02 20:55:44 This Feb 02 20:56:37 * Morgan nods, holding onto him Feb 02 20:57:18 * Varick holds for a bit more before saying "thank you" Feb 02 20:57:54 * Morgan nods, letting him go Feb 02 20:59:39 I'll go for my nap now Feb 02 21:00:13 alright... do you want me to take you in? Feb 02 21:01:10 No, it's okay Feb 02 21:02:05 Alright son Feb 02 21:03:03 * Varick calls the cat who goes with him Feb 02 21:04:35 * Morgan sets about getting the mirror setup Feb 02 21:05:35 * Varick is now known as Edward Feb 02 21:05:44 * Edward is waiting already Feb 02 21:06:40 Am I late? Feb 02 21:07:37 No, I am early Feb 02 21:08:59 * Morgan nods, settling into the chair and sipping his coffee Feb 02 21:09:08 * Edward has coffee too Feb 02 21:09:21 I've locked the door this time Feb 02 21:09:57 * Morgan nods Feb 02 21:10:16 How are things? Feb 02 21:12:17 In truth, they are mixed. And with you? Feb 02 21:12:42 * Morgan shrugs Feb 02 21:12:46 similar. Whats going on? Feb 02 21:14:17 I'm trying to lean into your way of interacting with the townsfolk. It does not come naturally. Mina is finding that hard to get on board with, and she is still struggling over Florrie and Alice. Feb 02 21:15:53 My way of interacting with them? Feb 02 21:16:19 Being more approachable and less formal Feb 02 21:16:45 And your wife does not like it... Feb 02 21:16:56 No, she doesn't Feb 02 21:17:03 Why? Feb 02 21:17:31 Because that is not how her family have ever ruled the land Feb 02 21:18:03 * Morgan nods, sipping his coffee Feb 02 21:19:05 It is causing a rift between you Feb 02 21:19:22 It's adding more friction Feb 02 21:19:58 Is Mina's issue only that it is not how her family have done it? Feb 02 21:21:20 She is traditional, Morgan. She is everything a perfect noble woman is supposed to be. Feb 02 21:21:48 * Morgan visibly flinches, looking away Feb 02 21:22:27 -why- are you changing the way it is done there? -why- to that extent? Feb 02 21:23:30 It isn't a big change, I am just trying to be easier for them to accept and work withh Feb 02 21:26:21 * Morgan sips his coffee Feb 02 21:26:38 Do you feel Mina is being unreasonable in this? Feb 02 21:27:50 I think she has an opinion that I have taken into consideration Feb 02 21:30:09 That isn't answering the question Feb 02 21:33:47 I can understand her hesitancy. She is not being disruptive or disrespectful, of course Feb 02 21:34:48 Of course... that wouldn't be... proper. Feb 02 21:35:36 No, it wouldn't be acceptable. But I feel the weight of her disapproval in ways I never expected to Feb 02 21:37:51 * Morgan nods Feb 02 21:38:02 Have you considered the possibility that you are wrong? Feb 02 21:38:21 Briefly, yes Feb 02 21:38:39 You have decided the your course of action is the correct one? Feb 02 21:38:51 I have Feb 02 21:40:05 * Morgan nods, sipping his coffee Feb 02 21:40:57 Do you think I am wrong? Feb 02 21:41:34 Lets be honest, you're more capable than I am when it comes to politics... Feb 02 21:41:54 Your opinion matters to me Feb 02 21:43:16 * Morgan sighs Feb 02 21:43:54 It is what -I- would do, but you are not me... Feb 02 21:45:27 * Edward nods, sipping the coffee Feb 02 21:46:07 You could have warned me how much more difficult being the Captain is than it looks Feb 02 21:47:34 You were always so... confident about it... I didn't realise you would need warning and, given my actions in the past... Feb 02 21:49:13 If it was not for the situation with Florrie, it would have been smoother seas. Mina is an excellent first officer, and she will follow any command given, but I did not realise how much it would matter that she -agrees- with me and trusts my judgment implicitly Feb 02 21:49:46 * Morgan nods Feb 02 21:49:57 Its painful when she doesn't, isn't it Feb 02 21:50:58 Yes, more than I thought it would be Feb 02 21:52:43 * Morgan nods Feb 02 21:53:30 That will improve, I hope? Feb 02 21:55:31 I would think so... have you tried speaking with her... openly? Feb 02 21:55:55 I think so Feb 02 21:57:51 You -think- so... Feb 02 21:59:44 I have explained all my reasonings, and she has expressed her preferences Feb 02 22:01:14 Those being... Feb 02 22:01:50 That I behave more like Joseff Feb 02 22:04:52 * Morgan nods, sipping his coffee Feb 02 22:05:11 Perhaps it is more about missing him and his guidance than anything else Feb 02 22:06:21 It could be that. There has been much change, and I am trying to find my feet as a Freiarr, Husband, and Father simultaneously. I am up to the challenge, it is just harder than anticipated Feb 02 22:10:53 Things have changed drastically and rapidly for her... including you. Perhaps she is just wanting stability. I'd suggest you ask, try to get at the root cause Feb 02 22:11:42 * Edward ponders this Feb 02 22:13:03 Interesting... maybe it is not -what- I am doing with the townsfolk, but simply that I am doing something unanticipated and she is feeling unsure of me in light of the revelations about Florrie's existence and our frequent communication... Feb 02 22:13:18 * Morgan nods Feb 02 22:13:23 exactly Feb 02 22:14:21 When you talked about it... were you enquiring or properly engaging? Feb 02 22:14:40 The former, I would say Feb 02 22:15:41 I think that there might be a mistake. She's shown before that she will say what she feels is expected, not necessarily what is actually on her mind. Feb 02 22:16:03 * Edward nods Feb 02 22:16:30 You make a good point, brother. I am looking at all the small details and not the bigger picture Feb 02 22:16:49 You're seeing the brushstrokes, not the painting Feb 02 22:18:26 * Edward smiles Feb 02 22:18:33 Indeed Feb 02 22:19:02 * Morgan nods, sipping his coffee Feb 02 22:20:55 * Edward nods Feb 02 22:21:13 I will spend quiet time discussing it with her. Thank you. Feb 02 22:21:56 * Morgan nods Feb 02 22:22:03 Of course Feb 02 22:22:51 Now, what challenges does your own marriage have at present? *he smiles* Feb 02 22:24:09 She is displeased with me because I was considering leaving the ship in Jura and heading homeward Feb 02 22:25:08 Are you fighting about that sheik again? Feb 02 22:27:13 No, absolutely not... I'm having nightmares... the dreams themselves aren't scary, but... its harrowing. Feb 02 22:27:54 Are you considering leaving because you do not want Molly seeing you weakened? Feb 02 22:29:14 No... because I feel I am a danger. Feb 02 22:30:29 Are the nightmares because your wedding anniversary is this week? Feb 02 22:31:16 It is another example of what could have been... but I suspect the anniversary is the catalyst... and that it won't be over until then. Feb 02 22:31:54 * Edward nods, expression serious Feb 02 22:32:08 Are you going to all turn back? Feb 02 22:33:54 No... there would be little gained in that. Currently I'm trying to learn to cope with the feeling that I'm about to lose control, with the idea that Molly will knock me out if it looks like I'm losing it... as for whether or not my mind will break from it... that remains to be seen Feb 02 22:35:34 * Edward nods "the nightmare trap should have reached you, my messenger returned saying it had been given to a crew man" Feb 02 22:35:50 * Morgan sighs Feb 02 22:36:03 I appreciate that but... it, like everything else I have tried, will not work Feb 02 22:36:44 I've even tried using the tobacco that DeeDee provided before sleep... Feb 02 22:39:13 -you- tried it? Feb 02 22:39:57 * Morgan nods Feb 02 22:40:06 Desperation drives you to desperate measures Feb 02 22:41:07 What did you think of it? Feb 02 22:41:17 Its effective Feb 02 22:41:35 * Edward nods Feb 02 22:41:53 I've only tried it twice Feb 02 22:44:00 First time I tried it was the night we stayed at the Eisenfursts house... that was an awful night and prompted me to do something I'm quite ashamed of Feb 02 22:44:49 What was it? Feb 02 22:45:10 I went and spat on Alarice's grave... called her all manner of things I never thought I'd hear myself say Feb 02 22:45:21 * Edward nods Feb 02 22:45:59 She had a lot to answer for, but how much of that was due to my actions also? Feb 02 22:46:47 I don't see why it would be Feb 02 22:47:48 If I had not made her be rid of the baby. That would however double that issue with Mina Feb 02 22:49:14 No, that was just another example of her manipulative, scheming nature... if you had relented you'd be in her control forevermore and Mina would have been lost to you forever Feb 02 22:51:08 That is true... I tried DeeDee's tobacco once before seeing Petra. I assume falling asleep quickly was a natural thing. I tried it again three weeks later when he was handing off a watch to me. He regretted it when he had to do double Feb 02 22:51:51 It puts you to sleep? Feb 02 22:53:42 After it makes me amorous, yes Feb 02 22:54:08 * Morgan nods, sipping his coffee Feb 02 22:54:40 You have the same problems? Feb 02 22:54:47 * Morgan shakes his head Feb 02 22:55:31 Not at all. It just... relaxes me, I suppose... and eventually makes nerves that are almost dead suddenly a bit alive again Feb 02 22:56:15 That's how it starts for me, in the nerves Feb 02 22:56:45 * Morgan nods Feb 02 22:57:41 In my case, it allowed me to have sensation in areas I've not had sensation in since I... *he sighs* was tried for mutiny Feb 02 22:57:54 * Edward nods Feb 02 22:58:20 Ah yes, the captain's daughter who the drunken sailor didn't swive Feb 02 22:58:27 * Morgan nods Feb 02 22:58:41 Indeed. I've had basically no feeling since then Feb 02 22:59:11 Is it painful when you've had the tobacco? Feb 02 22:59:47 It tingled, actually. I was getting a massage in the hopes of avoiding another dream, and suddenly I could feel things Feb 02 23:01:31 * Edward nods, smiling Feb 02 23:02:07 Tingling nerves sounds the same Feb 02 23:02:22 * Morgan nods Feb 02 23:03:19 Do you smoke much of it? Feb 02 23:04:17 Not masses. I try to avoid it Feb 02 23:04:31 * Edward nods Feb 02 23:04:58 Be prepared then, I think we'd been passing it back and forth for half an hour Feb 02 23:05:20 * Morgan shrugs Feb 02 23:05:27 I don't intend to use it for that long Feb 02 23:06:39 * Edward smiles, shrugging "it's certainly an experience" Feb 02 23:07:42 * Morgan nods, sipping his coffee Feb 02 23:08:07 You ever have a dream where the feelings of that dream linger once you've woken? Feb 02 23:08:24 Occassionally, yes Feb 02 23:08:36 * Morgan nods Feb 02 23:08:40 I get it a lot Feb 02 23:10:29 What are you saying, Morgan? You are feeling angry with me because of that? Feb 02 23:12:19 No... I feel a bit raw, having gone through the realisation that my actions set it all in motion. I'm not angry with you, I've seen, repeatedly, how much it all took from you Feb 02 23:13:40 * Edward sips his coffee Feb 02 23:15:27 My daughter wouldn't exist if that hadn't happened Feb 02 23:15:39 * Morgan nods Feb 02 23:18:20 Two things... I'm currently having to see how it would've been if you had made your other option... surprisingly, it isn't easier... and Im' dreading where I think its headed and out of sorts from it. Second... I know you explained how you lost faith and trust in me, how you felt I betrayed you, our family... but I had to go through that realisation last night and woke up with that realisation combined with the fact we are now so close. It hurts me that I let yo Feb 02 23:18:20 u down so badly. Feb 02 23:19:28 I was expecting too much. I never let you, or even Father, be a person, not an idol. Feb 02 23:19:41 * Morgan shrugs Feb 02 23:20:24 We cannot change what was. I'm just, I don't know... having to feel it over again and more keenly, thats all. Feb 02 23:20:36 * Edward nods Feb 02 23:20:42 Do you have some paper? Feb 02 23:21:00 * Morgan takes a deep breath Feb 02 23:21:09 What sort of stupid question is that? Feb 02 23:22:04 Alright... brother, get some paper. And a pencil, if you will insist on being facetious Feb 02 23:22:38 * Morgan leans over slightly, taking some paper and a pencil from a drawer, muttering 'of course I've got paper, I've -always- got some Feb 02 23:22:48 * Edward nods Feb 02 23:26:36 Write this. "Morgan, though you feel bad now, be assured that everything between you and I is well. I love, trust, respect, and understand you and the situation more now than I ever did. You did not fail us or the family. You are a good man, one full of love and loved in return, and you have a beautiful future ahead of you with Molly, Varick, and Feb 02 23:26:36 your children. Forgive yourself as you have forgiven me, and as I forgive you. My love, Edward, King Of Eisen." Feb 02 23:27:43 * Morgan starts laughing as he reaches the last few words before folding it up and tucking it in a pocket Feb 02 23:28:01 * Edward inclines his head Feb 02 23:28:05 Thank you Feb 02 23:28:47 * Morgan takes a deep breath, letting it out slowly Feb 02 23:29:05 I'd really like to go without nightmares for a few days. They take it out of me and put a strain on everyone Feb 02 23:29:23 Are you and Molly at odds over it? Feb 02 23:30:21 No, only over my worry that I will lose control. She was -very- dismayed by the idea of not seeing me for twelve weeks Feb 02 23:30:43 I would imagine so, especially with wanting a child Feb 02 23:31:24 * Morgan shrugs Feb 02 23:31:47 Wanting is one thing but we know for a while it is a moot point... since I know -when- it will happen Feb 02 23:32:32 How could you know that? Feb 02 23:33:45 I dream the things that could have happened, can throw fire, face all kinds of monsters, am supposed to save the-world- but -that- is your sticking point?! Feb 02 23:34:44 * Edward nods slowly Feb 02 23:36:02 Yes, it just might be. Our world is full of magic and monsters, but a baby is a gift from Theus himself. To be able to divine that timing is like sneaking a peak at The Divine Plan, don't you think? Feb 02 23:37:11 Perhaps it is something to remind me why I must go on... to give me hope? Feb 02 23:39:24 * Edward nods a little Feb 02 23:39:39 Are you keeping it private? Feb 02 23:40:04 I would not make you uncomfortable with it, I didn't realise it would be an issue for you Feb 02 23:41:12 I'm not uncomfortable, it is simply something that seems very outlandish Feb 02 23:42:11 But both of us seeing Drachen, thats entirely normal(!) Feb 02 23:43:10 I did not say it made sense Feb 02 23:43:23 * Morgan smiles Feb 02 23:45:25 Sometimes we just have to accept it and carry on Feb 02 23:45:36 * Edward nods Feb 02 23:46:03 It is not so soon that you are worried about being apart for three months? Feb 02 23:46:57 No, it isn't. Feb 02 23:47:34 * Edward nods Feb 02 23:47:44 My condolences, I know that must pain you Feb 02 23:50:03 Some, aye, but... we haven't got -too- long to wait... *he looks a little awkward* I, uhhh... I prayed that you would have that joy soon Feb 02 23:51:11 * Edward smiles Feb 02 23:51:28 Mina and I pray together for you every night, brother Feb 02 23:51:45 * Morgan looks touched Feb 02 23:53:37 I am hoping that it will be this month for Mina and I. As Florrie was conceived with the Vaticine method and Alarice's child was made in one afternoon, I am quite confident it will be quick Feb 02 23:54:27 I'm given to understand her emotional state can have an effect... her grief may cause a delay... Feb 02 23:55:54 I'll ask her to have a word with Molly about all of that Feb 02 23:56:45 Uhh... how about I ask Molly to talk to her about it... Feb 02 23:56:54 * Edward nods Feb 02 23:57:09 That would be more sensible Feb 02 23:58:00 Oh the irony of me being the sensible one. *he smirks for a moment before looking like somethings occurred to him* You haven't told mother about Florries abilities Feb 02 23:58:16 No, of course not Feb 02 23:58:40 Edward, we were talking about mother and I asked if she knew about it... you said she did... Feb 02 23:58:59 About her interest in flowers Feb 02 23:59:18 No... I was talking about her ability with flowers...