**** BEGIN LOGGING AT Thu Jan 26 00:00:16 2023 Jan 26 00:00:16 I feel that you are my husband and that has been the case all this time. I feel hurt that you cannot come back to me now that you know I am alive Jan 26 00:00:58 * Morgan nods Jan 26 00:01:07 I understand Jan 26 00:01:20 * Dietlinde nods Jan 26 00:02:22 By our faith, we made promises that I've never thought of breaking even when I've been left here without seeing you. Those promises still matter to me Jan 26 00:03:55 * Morgan speaks quietly, his shoulders dropping Jan 26 00:04:02 Alright. I understand. Jan 26 00:04:48 * Dietlinde looks at the grass at her feet Jan 26 00:06:01 I don't want to be the reason you break your new marriage vows either, but in my heart and head you're still my husband, and the way husbands and wives love each other is still what I want with you... Jan 26 00:06:40 * Morgan nods, sounding completely defeated Jan 26 00:08:28 I can't explain how conflicted this all makes me. You are my wife in my heart, but so is she. Jan 26 00:09:11 /me bends down, plucking a daisy "That is painful. I do not want to share my husband's body with another woman. It goes against the promises we made, and against my faith." Jan 26 00:09:50 Then I lose you again Jan 26 00:10:12 Only if you believe that is all I am worth. Jan 26 00:10:30 That is unfair Jan 26 00:12:38 None of this is fair. When I heard you were hear I thought you'd come to take us from this purgatory and take us home. But now I know that our marriage has been broken whilst I've been sat here wishing the days away until I could be in your arms again Jan 26 00:13:45 * Morgan scowls Jan 26 00:16:45 While you've been here waiting, hearing lovely little messages of what I'm doing, I have been facing -monsters-, hoping to die, because you were ripped from me... I had to listen to the screams as you burned alive... I carry the scars of failing to get to you... I spent -years- hating myself, alone, because I didn't do the one thing I was supposed to... keep you and my daughter safe. I mourned, and did so until just a few days ago when -everything- was thrown Jan 26 00:16:45 into turmoil again. Jan 26 00:18:22 I do not begrudge you moving on as a widower, Morgan. I wouldn't want you to be alone and unhappy at all, just as you wouldn't want that for me Jan 26 00:19:12 What would you have me do? Jan 26 00:20:00 You've said you can't Jan 26 00:21:07 It makes no difference that she has already agreed to all this... Jan 26 00:22:17 Why would anyone do that? Jan 26 00:22:58 Because she has never sought to replace you in my heart... I never moved on from you, I grew to love her as well. Jan 26 00:23:57 Does she realise I would not just appear as a mistress but be wanted to be one too? Jan 26 00:24:13 * Morgan nods Jan 26 00:24:23 She does Jan 26 00:24:59 * Dietlinde watches the children a moment, not responding for several moments Jan 26 00:25:44 If Sabina was in my position, or you other wife's, what would advise -her- to do? Jan 26 00:26:20 I don't know... Jan 26 00:27:39 * Dietlinde nods Jan 26 00:27:54 I will never, ever not love you, Morgan Jan 26 00:28:50 The same was always true for me, and always will be Jan 26 00:29:08 And for you with her now. Jan 26 00:29:20 * Morgan nods Jan 26 00:30:00 I don't want that. I want my husband back, who would never have even asked this. Jan 26 00:30:19 * Morgan looks hurt but nods Jan 26 00:31:26 I'm sorry... Jan 26 00:31:43 * Dietlinde watches a bumblebee go by, nodding "I wish he'd just saved the children." Jan 26 00:32:13 No, please, don't say that... Jan 26 00:34:36 * Dietlinde looks back to him, with a determination he didn't see very often but knew was there far beneath the service "I want for you and I to take the children away from Sudlachenburg to where we would be safe, and for us to live as man and wife according to Theus' laws until death really does part us" Jan 26 00:36:15 * Morgan watches her Jan 26 00:36:44 And if I cannot do that? Jan 26 00:37:39 Then I will move closer with the children, and we can pretend I am your mistress, or the widow of a comrade from the War Jan 26 00:38:02 But you will be lost to me. Jan 26 00:38:32 I will still be there, but I won't die a death by a thousand cuts. Jan 26 00:39:21 So the choice comes back to who I am willing to lose. I Jan 26 00:39:25 I understand. Jan 26 00:40:04 You cannot walk away from Sudlachenburg or your adopted son's duty Jan 26 00:40:48 Yet I am expected to walk away from my duty to you and my children Jan 26 00:42:00 We'll be nearby and you can visit when you wish. But I won't be waiting at the door for word of you when you can spare me time. I will be able to grieve what I've lost with dignity Jan 26 00:42:29 * Morgan opens his mouth, pausing before saying 'fine\ Jan 26 00:44:17 Why don't you stay three nights and think it over. The children would love to have you here, and it'll give you quality time with them whilst you adjust and think on what you want to do next Jan 26 00:45:00 * Morgan is quiet a moment before speaking Jan 26 00:45:10 Whatever happens, I will make sure you are taken care of, all of you Jan 26 00:45:19 * Dietlinde nods Jan 26 00:45:31 I haven't doubted that at all Jan 26 00:45:45 * Morgan nods Jan 26 00:45:56 I need a few minutes... I'll go for a little walk Jan 26 00:46:03 * Dietlinde nods Jan 26 00:46:56 We will be going to the toddler group at the church in half an hour. Would you want to join us, or is it safer if we aren't seen together? Jan 26 00:47:22 I want to come but... I would not risk your safety Jan 26 00:47:47 * Dietlinde nods Jan 26 00:48:41 We will be home an hour and a half after that. Please make yourselves at home Jan 26 00:48:59 * Morgan nods Jan 26 00:49:26 Please assure them I'll be here when you get back... but... I need some time alone right now Jan 26 00:49:47 * Dietlinde nods "yes, Morgan." Jan 26 00:50:05 * Morgan nods, backing away before turning and moving through the house and out into the street Jan 26 00:50:36 *HH appears at his side just like a good little spy* where we goin', man? Jan 26 00:50:42 * Dietlinde is now known as HH Jan 26 00:50:58 just... leave me be Jan 26 00:51:20 Gotta keep an eye on you, man. Comes from th' highest authority, see? Jan 26 00:52:08 * Morgan makes a noise of frustration, walking away from the house Jan 26 00:52:16 * HH follows Jan 26 00:54:25 Perhaps an accident can be arranged for that oh so fucking clever brother of mine Jan 26 00:55:04 Only if we don' need him as a back up Veisgraf Jan 26 00:55:41 Oh, he's getting married... gets to be a happy little husband. See how he likes having to be wheeled around... Jan 26 00:56:06 * HH nods Jan 26 00:56:12 Sounds good, man Jan 26 00:56:42 * Morgan hunches his shoulders, twisting suddenly, eliciting an ugly crunch from his back Jan 26 00:56:54 *there's a corpse of trees across the road* Jan 26 00:57:08 Sexy as 'ell, man Jan 26 00:57:24 * Morgan turns, heading for the trees Jan 26 00:57:29 Shut up will you Jan 26 00:57:43 * HH nods following him in Jan 26 00:58:10 Heard the kids laughin' Jan 26 00:58:50 * Morgan nods, heading further into the wooded area Jan 26 01:00:04 *there's lots of ivy, daisies, and forget-me-nots* Jan 26 01:00:56 * Morgan marches up to a decent size tree, smashing his fists into its trunk over and over with such brutality that any person receiving it would be dead Jan 26 01:01:22 * HH just stands back, letting him do what he has to do Jan 26 01:01:53 * Morgan goes like this for a good five minutes before, bloodied and sweating, he collapses to the ground against the tree Jan 26 01:02:26 * HH sits beside him, offering him a flask Jan 26 01:02:48 * Morgan doesn't see it, having curled into a ball against the tree Jan 26 01:03:06 Drink Jan 26 01:03:45 * Morgan reaches out a bloody hand, taking the flask and drinking deeply from it Jan 26 01:04:14 You got sum at to bandage that? Jan 26 01:04:27 no Jan 26 01:05:20 If I leave y' here, are y' a danger to yerself? Jan 26 01:06:00 * Morgan shakes his head slightly Jan 26 01:06:17 * HH nods Jan 26 01:06:43 Anything y' need except that? Jan 26 01:07:00 * Morgan shrugs Jan 26 01:07:01 no Jan 26 01:07:30 * HH leaves him alone, going off at a jog Jan 26 01:08:06 * Morgan moves to a sitting position against the tree, dripping blood onto the ground Jan 26 01:08:57 *A little robin hops along the ground nearby* Jan 26 01:09:11 * Morgan stares at it balefully Jan 26 01:09:41 *it hops closer, cheeping. It looks young* Jan 26 01:09:55 I've got nothing for you. For anyone. Jan 26 01:10:34 *it flies up and lands on his knee* Jan 26 01:10:47 * Morgan just stares at it Jan 26 01:11:14 *it flaps its little wings, mouth open* Jan 26 01:12:07 * Morgan glances round for anything it could eat Jan 26 01:12:35 *there doesn't seem to be anything* Jan 26 01:13:02 Nothing for you, beat it Jan 26 01:13:22 *it just watches him* Jan 26 01:13:55 * Morgan goes back to ignoring it Jan 26 01:14:15 *it's still there when HH gets back* mad a friend? Jan 26 01:14:19 Made* Jan 26 01:14:26 Won't leave me alone Jan 26 01:14:36 Jus' like me? Jan 26 01:15:18 Aye Jan 26 01:16:00 * HH takes a biscuit from his pocket, one of the ones that Dietlinde used to make that were Morgan's favourites, and crushes it for the bird Jan 26 01:16:56 * Morgan watches him Jan 26 01:17:23 Ready t' get bandaged? Jan 26 01:17:37 * Morgan shrugs Jan 26 01:17:39 spose Jan 26 01:17:46 * HH starts the process "how the fuck you gonna hide this from her?" Jan 26 01:18:52 * Morgan shrugs I'll scrape my arms, say I tripped Jan 26 01:19:31 * HH shrugs "not gonna wash unless she's gotten dumb in three years" Jan 26 01:20:14 Then what would you fucking suggest? Jan 26 01:20:53 Not a fuckin' clue. Not the sorta thing that she'd be expecting from you, is it? Jan 26 01:21:14 Add it to the fucking list... the man she loved died when he thought she did Jan 26 01:21:45 * HH finishes it, the bird has gone Jan 26 01:22:08 Need a tavern findin' in town? Jan 26 01:22:29 Drinking isn't a good idea Jan 26 01:22:36 For sleepin' Jan 26 01:22:52 Best had I suppose Jan 26 01:23:18 Not gonna be welcome there? Jan 26 01:24:28 I dunno... she wants me to stay three nights, but... don't think she means there Jan 26 01:24:47 Not like 'usband an' wife then? Jan 26 01:25:32 Only if I'm going to choose only her... and if I do that, we have to run Jan 26 01:25:44 * HH winces Jan 26 01:25:50 Ah shit, man Jan 26 01:26:51 fuck Jan 26 01:26:57 Yep Jan 26 01:27:15 I don' even -speak- Av'lon, man Jan 26 01:27:43 * Morgan nods absently Jan 26 01:27:45 yeah Jan 26 01:27:59 Nor does Inga Jan 26 01:28:51 She'd insist on you staying here Jan 26 01:29:22 Guess we better have that convo b'fore thing the knot then Jan 26 01:29:43 Don't worry about it Jan 26 01:30:10 I don' want you pissing off again without me Jan 26 01:31:39 You love her man, you've gotta do what's best for both of you Jan 26 01:32:41 Love 'er to death, but fuckin' hell man I'm wonderin' if marriage is a bit fuckin' complicated! Jan 26 01:33:00 Not for anyone else Jan 26 01:34:32 Need t' find a messenger to send 'one? Jan 26 01:34:38 'Ome * Jan 26 01:34:57 Aye, let em know we're staying a few days then be on our way Jan 26 01:35:20 That it? Jan 26 01:35:40 As opposed to... Jan 26 01:36:24 Reminding yer wife that yer thinkin' o' her and love her is probably gon' be pretty important right now Jan 26 01:36:56 * Morgan nods Jan 26 01:36:57 fine Jan 26 01:37:16 * HH watches him Jan 26 01:37:30 Y' not gonna just fuck off again, are ya? Jan 26 01:38:26 No... I have duties Jan 26 01:38:55 * HH nods, lying on his back, looking up at the leaves Jan 26 01:38:58 Now what? Jan 26 01:39:56 * Morgan shrugs Jan 26 01:40:14 They're going to a toddler group in a while... be back an hour and a half later. Jan 26 01:40:39 Definitely sounds like time t' see what drink they got Jan 26 01:41:22 * Morgan makes a grunting noise, getting up Jan 26 01:41:25 Come on then for fuck sake Jan 26 01:41:33 * HH gets up Jan 26 01:41:54 Wonder where th' fuck Claudia is Jan 26 01:42:14 Go look for her Jan 26 01:42:38 I know yer strugglin' man, but I'm on yer side Jan 26 01:44:32 I just... I need some space Jan 26 01:44:54 Want me to go on and recon the wine cellar? Jan 26 01:46:13 Come on, we'll go Jan 26 01:46:32 * HH leads the way back to the house Jan 26 01:48:06 * Morgan has quit (Quit: This computer has gone to sleep) Jan 26 10:05:06 * MorganK (~madisonst@Madisons-Air.lan) has joined Jan 26 10:06:06 * HH has quit (Read error: EOF from client) Jan 26 10:07:42 * MorganK has quit (Quit: This computer has gone to sleep) Jan 26 10:16:24 * Morgan (~mads@iMac-2.lan) has joined Jan 26 10:20:29 * MollyK (~igloo@CrystabllesiPad.lan) has joined Jan 26 10:34:10 * MollyK is now known as DeeDee Jan 26 10:35:04 *the maid lets them in again, and shows them the pantry where there is drink. HH has been having a good nosey when Morgan hears a cough from behind him* Jan 26 10:35:32 * Morgan looks round Jan 26 10:37:18 *The man there is tall and blonde, quite good-looking. He has sawdust in his hair, and looks like he works for a living. He inclines his head* Good afternoon, my Lord, Heinzharold Jan 26 10:37:50 * Morgan eyes him suspiciously Jan 26 10:38:28 * DeeDee smiles a little "Port is on the top shelf if you want some" Jan 26 10:41:31 * Morgan turns away, hunching over the table Jan 26 10:42:14 *HH nods* Much obliged. You're th' fake brother? Jan 26 10:42:42 * DeeDee nods "You're the best friend. Claudia told me about you" Jan 26 10:43:14 Where is she? Jan 26 10:43:16 *HH gets the port down whilst DeeDee finds three glasses* Jan 26 10:43:42 Keeping a low profile after beating me when she first arrived Jan 26 10:44:44 Yeah. There's going to be a lot of that going around Jan 26 10:45:01 * DeeDee watches him Jan 26 10:45:09 Is that a threat, my Lord? Jan 26 10:45:43 * Morgan glances at him, looking almost disinterested Jan 26 10:46:27 * DeeDee checks his pocket watch "Damn, I've missed toddler group" Jan 26 10:47:34 *HH pours out drinks* Jan 26 10:47:49 * Morgan has moved on to scowling at his hands on the table Jan 26 10:48:25 HH: You go to toddler group?! Jan 26 10:49:27 * DeeDee nods, smiling "If I've finished work early enough. JoJo can be a bit nervous in big groups, in helps having Uncle DeeDee there" Jan 26 10:49:50 *HH glances at Morgan as he puts the port in front of him* Jan 26 10:50:23 * Morgan flexes his fingers, looking very much like violence is iminent Jan 26 10:51:45 Has Lina arranged an extra room made up for you, Heinzharold? Jan 26 10:52:35 HH: Don' think so, things are a bit up in th' air, see? Jan 26 10:53:14 * DeeDee nods "I'll see to that myself, assuming you're staying with us and not at the inn with Claudia?" Jan 26 10:53:53 * Morgan can be heard grinding his teeth Jan 26 10:54:46 * DeeDee watches him a minute Jan 26 10:55:54 You're not taking them away tonight, I hope Jan 26 10:56:55 * Morgan speaks quietly Jan 26 10:57:38 Need to put things in place to make sure they're safe from those who would harm them first... from those who would take them from me -again-. Make sure they're provided for. Jan 26 10:57:58 * DeeDee nods, looking happy with this Jan 26 10:58:18 I'm not looking forward to having to say goodbye Jan 26 10:59:04 You've grown close to my wife and children while I've been away believing them dead Jan 26 10:59:11 * DeeDee nods Jan 26 10:59:58 Naturally I have, I love Lina as much as I do my blood sister. Probably more, actually, she's easier to get along with. Jan 26 11:00:43 * Morgan has taken to staring into middle distance, his fists bunched on the table Jan 26 11:03:07 I love the children too. It's been a privilege to support Lina through her pregnancy and delivery, and JoJo had really bad colic for months, so I looked after him a lot so she could rest. Sabina is a little ray of sunshine. I've had three years with them all, and though I'm happy for them that you here to take them home, I'm going to miss them all Jan 26 11:03:07 very much. Jan 26 11:04:47 It should've been me. It -would-have been me, I wouldn't have missed the birth of my son, their growing if you POXY FRIEND had had half an ounce of fucking decency and come to me Jan 26 11:05:36 He looked for you, my Lord. He's had people out everywhere trying to find you. It wasn't supposed to happen this way Jan 26 11:07:00 No, I was only supposed to -grieve- for a month, two at the most. But then, as now, his wonderful fucking plans have gone awry. Well fuck him. Fuck him. Jan 26 11:07:17 * DeeDee nods Jan 26 11:08:50 He's fucked it up and he knew that right away. But we've done our best to keep them safe and happy. What more could be done? We never knew when you'd reappear or be found, so why traumatise Lina and the children by saying we didn't know where you were? Jan 26 11:09:11 You need to stop talking. Jan 26 11:09:37 * DeeDee nods his head, concentrating on drinking his port Jan 26 11:10:57 HH gives it a couple of minutes before saying to DeeDee: What are you gonna do without them then? Jan 26 11:12:16 * DeeDee shrugs "Visit my hometown or see my friends. I've never left Grenau, and have needed to keep a low profile. As far as anyone knows I'm a mercenary working in Castile" Jan 26 11:13:15 HH: huh. Big ask fr'm a friend. Jan 26 11:13:27 * Morgan glances at HeinzHarold Jan 26 11:13:48 He thought nothing of letting me think he'd murdered them, why would asking his friend to babysit be a problem for him Jan 26 11:14:52 * DeeDee shrugs "it was only supposed to be a few months at most. We fought together, Edward stopped me doing something by accident that would probably have ruined my life. I owe him." Jan 26 11:15:06 * Morgan speaks very quietly Jan 26 11:15:07 So do I Jan 26 11:16:12 * DeeDee nods "If it had worked, it would have been a good solution to getting the nobles to back off, but it's been a complete clusterfuck, aside from them being looked after and loved" Jan 26 11:16:53 * Morgan presses his fists to the table, eliciting popping noises from his knuckles Jan 26 11:17:57 Yes it was so very civilised a solution. My dear brother did everything he could short of actually talking to me, so he's completely and utterly innocent in all this. Jan 26 11:18:27 * DeeDee shrugs Jan 26 11:21:02 You'll have to take that up with him. I've done everything I was asked and more. I've put my whole life on hold, and would have kept going to look after them, however long it took for you to be found. Edward's fuck up isn't my problem. But they're safe, fed, housed, clothed, and part of the community. They've not gone without anything I could give Jan 26 11:21:02 them. Jan 26 11:21:44 * Morgan looks at him Jan 26 11:22:10 I apologise. I'm grateful to you, but your defence of what he did... I cannot hear that. Jan 26 11:22:26 * DeeDee nods Jan 26 11:22:46 I'll not mention it again Jan 26 11:24:40 * Morgan nods slightly, picking up the port and downing it before pushing the glass towards HeinzHarold Jan 26 11:24:52 *HH refills it* Jan 26 11:25:07 Are you hungry? I can make something Jan 26 11:26:37 Go and join... Lina... JoJo clearly needs you. Jan 26 11:27:49 * DeeDee nods "help yourselves to food, we've got plenty. There's a guest room, third on the left. I'll be back later" Jan 26 11:28:44 * DeeDee is now known as HH Jan 26 11:29:10 * HH sets to making some sandwiches once he's gone Jan 26 11:29:15 Fuckin' hell. Jan 26 11:29:41 * Morgan looks numb, like he's just shut down Jan 26 11:30:08 * HH puts the sandwich in front of him Jan 26 11:30:13 Eat, man. Jan 26 11:30:54 * Morgan blinks slowly Jan 26 11:30:56 Why? Jan 26 11:32:26 Because I'm gonna catch hell from my lil darlin if I don't follow instructions Jan 26 11:33:56 * Morgan picks up the sandwich's staring at it Jan 26 11:34:11 I'm going to make this all right. Jan 26 11:34:46 * HH talks with his mouthful, dropping some beef on the table "how's that then?" Jan 26 11:36:15 Make sure they're safe, provided for. Do my duty. I'm going to make Edward pay. Jan 26 11:36:47 * HH nods Jan 26 11:37:30 Makes sense. Wish my lil darlin was 'ere Jan 26 11:38:00 I wish Edward was here... so he could see first hand how -useless- he is. Jan 26 11:39:09 Thought about sending a messenger towards Starke, seeif y' can get him back quicker now y' know Molly's in Sudlachenburg... hopefully still in Sudlachenburg. Jan 26 11:40:25 Thought about it... maybe I'll have calmed down enough to not just kill him by the time I see him... make no mistake, though, he will pay for what he's done. He will know what it feels like to lose so much. Jan 26 11:40:48 * HH glances at him Jan 26 11:40:53 His betrothed? Jan 26 11:42:04 * Morgan bites into the sandwich Jan 26 11:42:31 Mina, like Dietlinde, like Molly, has done nothing wrong Jan 26 11:43:36 Yeah... but for 'im to suffer like you, that's where y'd have to hit him Jan 26 11:43:53 maybe Jan 26 11:44:42 It an arranged thing, nobility shit? Jan 26 11:44:53 No, he loves her Jan 26 11:45:04 She love 'im? Jan 26 11:45:10 Apparently Jan 26 11:45:17 * HH winces Jan 26 11:45:35 Hurtin' him is good, but hurtin' her isn't? Jan 26 11:46:18 I don't care Jan 26 11:47:19 * HH watches him a moment before shrugging and picking up the beef he dropped Jan 26 11:49:07 I'm gon' go look at the room, then I'm gonna go find Claudia Jan 26 11:49:30 * Morgan nods slightly Jan 26 11:51:12 Guess y' don't want or need a hug? Jan 26 11:51:32 Best no-one touches me just now Jan 26 11:52:46 * HH sighs "damn. I'll try Claudia" Jan 26 11:53:08 * Morgan nods Jan 26 11:54:55 If she kills me, tell my lil darlin she has a cute ass for me, okay, man? I'm relyin' on you Jan 26 11:55:23 She won't kill you Jan 26 11:55:40 Might make my plums look like their nickname? Jan 26 11:56:32 * Morgan nods Jan 26 11:56:47 Find a messenger. I want Edward here to fix this as fast as possible Jan 26 11:57:04 * HH nods Jan 26 11:57:09 Will do, man Jan 26 11:57:35 * Morgan nods Jan 26 11:58:06 * HH finishes his glass before leaving Jan 26 11:59:57 *it seems like barely a minute passes before he hears Jana shouting "Vati", but the changing light at the window and the empty port bottle tells him hours have passed* Jan 26 12:00:59 * Morgan puts the bottle away before going to find his daughter Jan 26 12:03:12 * HH is now known as Jana Jan 26 12:03:36 * Jana is with JoJo and DeeDee in the parlour. There's no sign of Dietlinde Jan 26 12:04:07 Hello little lady... where's your Muti? Jan 26 12:05:30 She stayed with the ladies to clean up. Uncle DeeDee thought you'd want us back sooner Jan 26 12:05:50 * Morgan nods, sitting on the floor Jan 26 12:05:54 Did you have fun? Jan 26 12:07:09 * Jana sits beside him, and JoJo sits on his lap Jan 26 12:07:41 There's lots of bigger children too, so I played. But soon they won't be my friends anymore because I'm leaving Jan 26 12:08:30 Look at you... you've gotten so big Jan 26 12:08:49 * Jana nods "I'm four" Jan 26 12:09:12 JoJo: I'm two. One, two. Jan 26 12:09:24 * Morgan nods Jan 26 12:09:54 Will you put us to bed tonight? Jan 26 12:10:08 I'd like that... Jan 26 12:10:39 When you go, are we going too? Jan 26 12:12:04 Ummm, not this time... I need to find a house first, get it all ready Jan 26 12:12:22 JoJo: have a garden? Jan 26 12:12:27 * Morgan nods Jan 26 12:12:30 absolutely Jan 26 12:12:36 What about trees for a treehouse? Jan 26 12:13:14 Oh, quite possibly... and a swing Jan 26 12:13:20 JoJo: I want a treehouse Jan 26 12:13:46 You can't go in the treehouse, you're too small. Jan 26 12:14:26 JoJo: Can too! I climb! Jan 26 12:15:00 No, it's a girl's treehouse with flowers and fairies painted on, not for boys! Jan 26 12:15:40 JoJo: Not fair! You're mean! *this looks like it might explode into them being rough with each other* Jan 26 12:15:48 Maybe it can be both... do treehouses have rooms? Jan 26 12:16:20 It could have a downstairs for babies, and an upstairs for big girls. Jan 26 12:16:55 JoJo: don't want stinky girls anyway. Jan 26 12:17:20 Alright, lets not bicker... so treehouse with an upstairs, and a swing Jan 26 12:17:42 * Jana and JoJo both nod Jan 26 12:18:08 I will push you on the swing JoJo, and Vati will push me because he's stronger Jan 26 12:18:31 JoJo: push me too, Vati? Jan 26 12:19:05 * Morgan nods Jan 26 12:19:07 definitely Jan 26 12:20:20 We'll do that before breakfast everyday. Then we can play after we eat, then we can go for a walk, or go to church. Then we'll play more, and do a few sums, but not many Jan 26 12:20:49 Only a few Jan 26 12:22:39 * Jana nods "then you and Muti will both put us to bed at nights, and you can sing to us like Uncle DeeDee" Jan 26 12:23:36 Sings to you does he Jan 26 12:23:42 * Jana nods Jan 26 12:24:09 He's the best uncle. I do like Uncle Edward too, but Uncle DeeDee looks after us every day Jan 26 12:25:13 * Morgan nods, glancing at the man in question briefly Jan 26 12:26:23 * Jana is sat on a chair to one side, a book open that he's looking at, but Morgan sees a hint of pain in his expression, clearly hearing the girl Jan 26 12:26:30 DeeDee* Jan 26 12:27:40 Come, tell me what else you did at the group Jan 26 12:29:57 * Jana descends into a long tale of little girls rivalries and alliances, her narrative well-spoken and very frank. JoJo gently fiddles with Morgan's beard, not interrupting. Jana is clearly popular and enmeshed with her peers Jan 26 12:30:20 Won't you miss your friends? Jan 26 12:30:26 * Jana nods Jan 26 12:30:41 But I'll have my Vati at last Jan 26 12:31:38 * Morgan pulls them both close, holding them tightly Jan 26 12:32:52 *they both seem to like this. He seems to get quite some time like this, DeeDee not even speaking, before he hears Dietlinde call from the hall "I'm home, my lovelies" Jan 26 12:33:19 * Morgan lets them go Jan 26 12:33:30 Go on, go greet Muti Jan 26 12:33:44 *they both run out into the hall. DeeDee stays put* Jan 26 12:33:57 * Morgan puts his head in his hands Jan 26 12:34:40 *he can hear the joy in the hall, followed by* D: no no, they're for after your tea, not before Jan 26 12:35:01 * Jana calls to him "Muti has cakes, Vati!" Jan 26 12:35:20 * Morgan hurriedly rubs at his face Jan 26 12:35:26 That'll be nice won't it Jan 26 12:36:22 *Dietlinde comes in with the children a few minutes later* I got a couple for you and Heinzharold too, they're chocolate ones Jan 26 12:40:09 * Morgan nods Jan 26 12:40:11 Thank you Jan 26 12:44:10 *Dietlinde comes to him, kissing his cheek as she bends down. She whispers in his ear* let the children see a happy family, please. Jan 26 12:47:23 * Morgan nods, kissing her cheek Jan 26 12:47:35 HeinzHarolds gone to find Claudia Jan 26 12:48:20 D: *she straightens* she is welcome to stay too, we have space and food Jan 26 12:49:16 We were talking about having a treehouse and a swing Jan 26 12:49:33 A princess treehouse! Jan 26 12:49:45 I thought it was a princess top floor? Jan 26 12:49:55 JoJo: A pirate treehouse! Jan 26 12:50:11 Yes Vati Jan 26 12:51:21 *They argue over this on and off over the evening. DeeDee is quiet, Claudia never comes, even when Heinzharold rolls in a bit tipsy just before the children bedtime* Jan 26 12:51:55 Where is she? Jan 26 12:52:10 * Jana is now known as HH Jan 26 12:52:18 Gone f' Edward Jan 26 12:52:56 * Morgan nods Jan 26 12:53:01 Thought you were sending a messenger Jan 26 12:53:25 I have, Claudia Jan 26 12:53:58 * Morgan nods Jan 26 12:54:03 See Lina, there's some cake for you Jan 26 12:54:31 * HH nods, going to look for her Jan 26 12:54:36 * HH is now known as Jana Jan 26 12:54:49 We have to go to bed now. Will you be here tomorrow? Jan 26 12:55:24 Aye, I'll be here for a few days Jan 26 12:56:18 * Jana nods. JoJo wants to be carried up Jan 26 12:56:48 * Morgan lifts him, holding Jana's hand as they go to the bedroom Jan 26 12:57:21 *it appears the children share a bed. There are night clothes laid out* Jan 26 12:58:02 Ok, right, lets get you both changed for bed Jan 26 12:58:49 *JoJo doesn't seem to be in nappy cloths anymore, that whole phase of his son's life that Morgan has missed is over already* Jan 26 12:59:49 * Morgan watches them, helping them where they seem to need help Jan 26 13:00:14 *it's very straightforward, and they both sit on the bed* Jan 26 13:00:55 *Dietlinde joins them* Alright children, it's time for prayers Jan 26 13:01:53 * Morgan moves to one side Jan 26 13:10:07 * Jana and her younger brother kneel beside the bed, Dietlinde doing likewise between them Jan 26 13:10:52 * Morgan watches them for a moment before kneeling by Jana Jan 26 13:11:26 D: Will you lead us, Vati? Jan 26 13:12:00 Uhh.... Yes, ok... Jan 26 13:12:29 * Morgan leads them through the prayers, expressing his gratitude for bringing him to his family again Jan 26 13:13:12 *this concluded, the children give each parent hugs* Jan 26 13:14:18 * Morgan holds them both tightly before tucking them into bed Jan 26 13:14:38 Will you and Muti sing now? Jan 26 13:15:18 * Morgan glances at Dietlinde Jan 26 13:15:25 Its been a long time since I've sung anything Jan 26 13:18:30 D: *she nods, starting to sing her favourite hymn, something he hasn't heard sing sat beside her in the chapel with Jana on his lap the day before they "died". The lyrics, urging a quiet, devoted life to pursuing heavenly peace seem somehow more poignant" (https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dear_Lord_and_Father_of_Mankind) Jan 26 13:19:38 * Morgan quietly joins in Jan 26 13:20:33 *she holds his hand, below the sight of their near-sleeping babies* Jan 26 13:22:06 * Jana is now known as Dietlinde Jan 26 13:24:13 ACTION finishes the song quietly. Neither child stirs, but she stays there like that in the single candle light for a few minutes, her hand feeling so familiar in his. The ring she wears is a plain gold band, but it's not the one he married her with, that is in the vault with his own proper wedding ring in the vault at Die Dauerhaftigkeit, back Jan 26 13:24:14 home where HH hopes Molly hasn't run off from* Jan 26 13:25:03 * Morgan watches the children sleeping Jan 26 13:25:25 *they look so very beautiful and peaceful* Jan 26 13:27:01 * Dietlinde goes to quietly stand after another minute, not letting go Jan 26 13:27:23 * Morgan gets up as well Jan 26 13:28:06 * Dietlinde takes the candle in her other hand, going out into the hall Jan 26 13:28:26 * Morgan follows her out Jan 26 13:28:44 * Dietlinde speaks quietly when the door is closed Jan 26 13:31:15 I prayed at the Church earlier, and I just know that Theus will help turn the heart of such a righteous man and devoted husband back to where it ought to be *this level of religious conviction would be entirely keeping with -her- Morgan's values, a man who would have given his life for his church and who always wore his cross, as well as attending Jan 26 13:31:16 church without fail each Sunday. A man for whom religion made sense, and Theus had felt like a fatherly protector,, not an impotent or cruel adversary* Jan 26 13:32:59 * Morgan looks pained Jan 26 13:33:33 The children sleep soundly, and you haven't eaten your cake yet. Let's go downstairs Jan 26 13:33:57 * Dietlinde waits for him to lead the way, hand still in his Jan 26 13:34:29 * Morgan follows her quietly Jan 26 13:35:35 *In the kitchen, there's a note that says "Lina, I've gone with Heinzharold to the tavern. I'll be back at closing time. If there's any trouble, send Janine over. Love, D" Jan 26 13:36:32 * Dietlinde has her hand back as she goes about making coffee, sweetening both cups. It's so strange to see her doing little things, alive. Jan 26 13:37:14 * Morgan looks at the note Jan 26 13:37:23 He expects me to be a problem Jan 26 13:37:30 * Dietlinde nods Jan 26 13:37:37 He's protective of us Jan 26 13:38:41 * Morgan nods Jan 26 13:38:46 He cares about you all Jan 26 13:39:40 * Dietlinde nods, adding milk Jan 26 13:40:01 He does, and we care for him too Jan 26 13:40:48 * Morgan nods, looking at the table Jan 26 13:41:55 * Dietlinde puts the cakes and the coffee on a tray, taking it through to the parlour. There's no fire, it's warm enough, Neither his magic nor his tinderbox needed Jan 26 13:43:12 * Morgan sits on the couch, looking miserable Jan 26 13:43:37 * Dietlinde sits close beside him as always, handing him his coffee Jan 26 13:43:49 The children are loving you being here Jan 26 13:44:00 * Morgan nods Jan 26 13:44:31 I never thought I'd see them growing... Jan 26 13:44:36 * Dietlinde nods Jan 26 13:44:57 You must have been surprised about JoJo if you'd never had my messages Jan 26 13:45:08 * Morgan nods Jan 26 13:45:19 I didn't believe him. I thought it another act of cruelty Jan 26 13:45:31 * Dietlinde nods Jan 26 13:45:38 What happened to your hands? Jan 26 13:46:32 Does it matter, really? Jan 26 13:47:01 * Dietlinde nods Jan 26 13:47:19 It matters to me, I do not like you getting hurt Jan 26 13:47:55 I hit a tree Jan 26 13:48:22 * Dietlinde looks puzzled, entirely uncharacteristic behaviour for him Jan 26 13:48:33 We do have an axe if you'd needed one Jan 26 13:48:58 * Morgan shakes his head Jan 26 13:49:32 I just... I couldn't take it, all the pain, the pain I've caused you... Jan 26 13:50:23 * Dietlinde nods, eating a mouthful of cake with a fork Jan 26 13:51:27 I do not want the children to see what is happening. When you are ready for us to be a proper family again I don't want them realising what has been happening Jan 26 13:52:35 You have such faith Jan 26 13:52:42 * Dietlinde smiles Jan 26 13:53:44 Yes, in Our Lord, but also that you will do the right thing by me and by the children. I do still believe that the love that led to you marrying me is strong and will outshine our current problem Jan 26 13:54:45 * Morgan sighs, looking down at his hands Jan 26 13:56:27 Will you come to church with me in the morning and we will pray on it together? Jan 26 13:57:55 Love, I've barely spoken to Theus since the day of the fire Jan 26 13:58:33 * Dietlinde looks almost pleased by this Jan 26 13:59:09 That explains how you've gone astray then. There is so much hope that it can be overcome Jan 26 14:01:34 * Morgan shakes his head, looking utterly despondant Jan 26 14:01:55 * Dietlinde takes his hand, holding it Jan 26 14:02:11 You need to give us a chance, Morgan. Please. Jan 26 14:03:02 * Morgan sighs heavily Jan 26 14:03:54 I'm trying to find a solution that works for everyone... but it is not doable Jan 26 14:04:38 Maybe not, but there wasn't one when you married me either. But you had faith in us then Jan 26 14:05:06 It is not -us- I lost my faith in Jan 26 14:05:22 Then Theus? Jan 26 14:05:49 * Morgan nods Jan 26 14:06:14 How could he, so loving and compassionate, allow all this pain Jan 26 14:06:52 Because our lives are full of trials. Now he has brought you back to us Jan 26 14:07:34 And to be with you I have to be cruel to another and leave my home... thats nothing short of cruelty Jan 26 14:08:26 I'm sorry that is going to happen to you, but I hope in time you feel feel so warmed by my love and the children's that you can start to let go Jan 26 14:09:45 I'll never forgive him Jan 26 14:09:53 * Dietlinde looks hurt Jan 26 14:09:59 You cannot mean that Jan 26 14:12:06 He is supposed to be loving, caring, compassionate. Jan 26 14:13:07 And at the end of our days, what we have endured is washed away, and we will get to be with him in heaven. But you know this, you've always believed this Jan 26 14:13:38 * Morgan sighs heavily Jan 26 14:14:46 I see no compassion in what he has allowed me to endure. I see no love in taking my love away from me then forcing me to choose. I see no caring in allowing the man who put all this in action to have a loving marriage. Jan 26 14:15:42 * Dietlinde looks unsure, and hurt, and troubled all at the same time. She looks quietly at the plate him her lap Jan 26 14:16:29 * Morgan glances at her Jan 26 14:16:46 I'm sorry. The pain has not endeared me to him Jan 26 14:16:55 * Dietlinde nods Jan 26 14:17:20 Will you try to undo that, for me and the children? Jan 26 14:18:34 * Morgan picks up his coffee, sipping it Jan 26 14:18:55 Maybe in time, it'll stop hurting so much and I won't be so very desperately angry Jan 26 14:19:23 * Dietlinde nods. The coffee is far too sweet compared to how he always had it Jan 26 14:19:51 I uhh... would you mind if I make another? This is a bit sweet for me Jan 26 14:20:07 Oh.. you don't take sugar... Jan 26 14:20:15 * Dietlinde looks guilty and embarrassed Jan 26 14:20:55 I take it DeeDee does Jan 26 14:21:07 * Dietlinde nods Jan 26 14:21:10 I'm sorry Jan 26 14:22:05 * Morgan nods, getting up and carrying the cup to the kitchen to make a fresh one Jan 26 14:23:01 *She's left the spoon by the kettle rather than putting it on the rest, something that always used to drive him mad but then he'd even missed once she was gone* Jan 26 14:23:53 * Morgan hangs his head, quietly weeping for a few moments Jan 26 14:24:44 * Dietlinde seems to have gotten stealthier, because he quiet hears "Are you crying?!" Jan 26 14:25:02 * Morgan jumps, wiping at his face Jan 26 14:25:26 * Dietlinde brings him a handkerchief "I've never seen you cry" Jan 26 14:25:45 * Morgan speaks quietly, his head still hanging Jan 26 14:25:50 No... Jan 26 14:27:09 * Dietlinde puts her arms around his neck, and it's simultaneously very familiar and completely different than his inches-shorter wife whose embrace he's so much more used to now Jan 26 14:27:59 * Morgan sighs quietly, holding onto her tightly Jan 26 14:30:02 * Dietlinde stands there like this a few more moments . When she gently kisses him, it's just as she always would have after the same amount of time as it always would have been. It should have been predictable* Jan 26 14:32:44 * Morgan pulls away gently Jan 26 14:33:38 * Dietlinde watches him Jan 26 14:34:12 Do you not want to be kissed? Jan 26 14:34:59 I... don't want my desire and love for you to be making promises I'm unable to keep Jan 26 14:36:29 That you believe you are unable to keep. But I trust differently. I want to share a bed with you. Not like -that-, but to sleep. You always said a man and his wife should share a bed, and that is what we are. Jan 26 14:37:08 * Morgan leans against the counter Jan 26 14:37:15 But thats the point... that I believe it. Jan 26 14:38:40 Now you do, but in a few days, once we've lived as a proper family again, you might not feel the same Jan 26 14:39:57 And if I still believe it then? Jan 26 14:40:58 Then we will keep trying. You must have thought you'd never love again, so in time you will also adjust to being home where you belong Jan 26 14:41:55 * Dietlinde starts making the fresh coffee Jan 26 14:45:42 I dread to think what Edward will do Jan 26 14:46:05 He'll do his duty for Sudlachenburg, won't he? Jan 26 14:47:29 For a while he thought his duty was to have you murdered. I don't trust his warped sense of duty Jan 26 14:48:31 But the Graf will fix that, won't he? *she gives him new coffee, standing watching him* Jan 26 14:49:25 * Morgan sips it Jan 26 14:50:03 *it's right now* Jan 26 14:50:25 * Morgan closes his eyes for a moment Jan 26 14:51:14 I've missed seeing you in the flesh Jan 26 14:51:30 * Morgan nods, looking at her Jan 26 14:51:48 If I'd known... Jan 26 14:52:11 I know. You'd never have been with anyone else, even for three years Jan 26 14:52:48 * Morgan reaches out, gently taking her hand Jan 26 14:53:00 * Dietlinde holds it, smiling Jan 26 14:54:53 I'm not the same man I was... time and loss have changed me Jan 26 14:55:10 Now you can be yourself again Jan 26 14:55:30 I don't think I can... too much time has passed Jan 26 14:56:03 Then we will fall in love all over again, built on the foundation of our marriage and our children Jan 26 14:57:03 -that- never changed Jan 26 14:58:47 It doesn't matter then. I still love you, Morgan *this last line is just what Molly said in his lap on the floor of the waterwheel house,holding to him in the dark after the supernatural danger was gone but the more personal dangers remained* Jan 26 15:00:55 * Morgan closes his eyes for a moment Jan 26 15:02:12 Tell me about all I've missed Jan 26 15:03:23 * Dietlinde leads the way back to the parlour, sitting close "I was really sick with JoJo. Everyone said it's girls that make you sicker, but it was more with JoJo" Jan 26 15:05:36 * Morgan nods Jan 26 15:06:55 * Dietlinde smiles, blushing "I missed your drawing me with child and your attentiveness" Jan 26 15:07:09 * Morgan blushes Jan 26 15:08:20 His delivery was very fast and easy, it only took three hour in total Jan 26 15:08:51 * Morgan nods Jan 26 15:09:55 Edward kept saying he thought you'd come soon, but then he started saying you thought it kept the three of us safer to wait Jan 26 15:10:26 Because he couldn't find me Jan 26 15:10:47 Didn't anyone know where you were? Jan 26 15:10:55 * Morgan shakes his head Jan 26 15:11:04 No. No-one. Even Yensid couldn't find me Jan 26 15:11:14 * Dietlinde looks sad Jan 26 15:11:24 If only he had Jan 26 15:12:19 * Morgan shrugs Jan 26 15:12:21 Go on Jan 26 15:13:19 We made friends here. People think I'm a widow. A couple of men wanted to Court me, but I said I was still married in my heart, so they didn't ask again Jan 26 15:14:48 * Morgan nods Jan 26 15:16:11 I started working after a few months. DeeDee too. Edward said you said it'd be good for me, and that DeeDee would set a good example for the children Jan 26 15:17:46 * Morgan nods Jan 26 15:18:01 Another lie from him Jan 26 15:18:08 * Dietlinde nods Jan 26 15:19:10 I haven't ever gone back to my normal size after being so sick with JoJo, I had to relearn all my measurements. I'm not as curvy as I was Jan 26 15:19:26 You are slimmer Jan 26 15:19:33 * Dietlinde nods Jan 26 15:19:45 I have more stretch marks too Jan 26 15:20:32 Thats to be expected Jan 26 15:21:09 Jana has mostly liked being a sister Jan 26 15:21:22 * Morgan nods Jan 26 15:21:29 Its clear she loves him very much Jan 26 15:21:54 Most of the time. They scrap like puppies sometimes Jan 26 15:22:20 * Morgan nods Jan 26 15:22:24 I saw it going that way earlier Jan 26 15:22:31 * Dietlinde nods Jan 26 15:22:45 I hope they'll be good while you're here Jan 26 15:23:39 * Morgan shrugs Jan 26 15:23:56 There's nothing they could do to make me love them any less Jan 26 15:24:43 They love you Jan 26 15:25:37 There should not be so much pain with so much love Jan 26 15:26:10 But sometimes there is Jan 26 15:27:37 Certainly seems that way Jan 26 15:27:44 * Dietlinde goes back to the cake, settling in beside him as if they'd never been apart Jan 26 15:28:33 I have more orders than I can manage with also looking after the children, but DeeDee is good when he's home, so I can work Jan 26 15:30:13 I find it... difficult... imagining him here Jan 26 15:30:57 He's never tried to be their father, they have a father already Jan 26 15:32:50 * Morgan nods Jan 26 15:33:24 I'm glad you didn't know what had really gone on. Jan 26 15:34:51 Why? Jan 26 15:35:48 Knowing I thought you had died... that I was suffering and I couldn't be found... Jan 26 15:35:57 * Dietlinde nods Jan 26 15:36:28 That would have destroyed me. Edward was kinder to kept that from me, until today Jan 26 15:36:45 At least he was kind to one of us I suppose Jan 26 15:38:58 * Dietlinde nods Jan 26 15:39:18 Are you going to eat your cake? Jan 26 15:41:27 * Morgan nods, picking at it Jan 26 15:42:09 *unsurprisngly, it's also too sweet, having gotten used to the reduced sugar version Molly started making at Die Dauerhaftigkeit with Varick* Jan 26 15:42:31 Will you stay tonight, tomorrow, and the next night? Jan 26 15:44:21 * Morgan nods Jan 26 15:44:54 * Dietlinde tells him more stories. They seem to have thrived here, but underneath that there's a deep strand of loneliness as well as faith that he was always coming back Jan 26 15:45:48 * Morgan listens to all the stories, clearly hurting at having missed so much Jan 26 15:46:25 * Dietlinde holds his hand through most of it. Then after a few hours, she uses the other to cover a yawn Jan 26 15:46:52 It's been a hard day. Will you come to bed now? *she watches him* Jan 26 15:48:02 I... I have nightmares... you'd get no rest Jan 26 15:48:50 I'd be there, like when you often had that one you never wanted to talk about, don't you remember? Jan 26 15:50:02 * Morgan sighs Jan 26 15:50:15 Just sleep? Jan 26 15:50:36 If you want to stay in the guest room tonight you can Jan 26 15:51:46 I want so much to be in with you... but... I think it'd be making those promises... Jan 26 15:52:11 Tomorrow then, when we've had more time together Jan 26 15:53:39 * Morgan nods slightly Jan 26 15:53:41 We'll see Jan 26 15:54:12 * Dietlinde leans over, kissing his cheek again "Goodnight, Morgan" Jan 26 15:54:40 Goodnight love Jan 26 15:55:07 *she leaves him with the remainders on the tray, going up to bed* Jan 26 15:55:52 * Morgan picks at the crumbs before taking them through to the kitchen, washing the things before just leaning against the counter Jan 26 15:56:53 *he's not interrupted by anyone, the time just passing around him like a stream around a rock, alone with his thoughts* Jan 26 15:58:03 * Morgan wanders out into the garden, smelling the flowers before finally trudging to the spare room Jan 26 16:01:55 *it's still a bit early for HH to have return, but it's a big enough bed for them both. He falls asleep very quickly, dreaming of something odd. He's taking Molly against a stable wall, passion and urgency matched between them, skirts up and placket down. He briefly notices a saddle with the Eisenfurst's crest on it. It's incredible, and he wakes Jan 26 16:01:55 very fired up and rock solid, the notion of having sex quite that passionately in His Grace's stables quite the surprise, having not happened yet* Jan 26 16:02:40 * Morgan shifts in the bed, sitting up, confused Jan 26 16:04:06 *he's in the unfamiliar bed alone, Molly isn't beside him, which is confusing. He can't quite put his finger on where he is, perhaps because his blood is mostly far south of his brain* Jan 26 16:05:37 * Morgan looks around the room, trying to get his bearings Jan 26 16:05:58 *he suddenly remembers everything all at once* Jan 26 16:06:35 * Morgan makes a sound of anguish, throwing his face into the pillow and curling up Jan 26 16:07:13 *it's a dark charcoal behind the windows, dawn on the way* Jan 26 16:07:59 * Morgan stays where he is for ten minutes before climbing slowly off the bed, pulling his clothes on Jan 26 16:08:29 *the house is very quiet, one of the bedroom doors slightly open Jan 26 16:09:03 * Morgan checks his physical state before moving toward the door Jan 26 16:09:30 *he's settled, but he's going to spend the day with a lingering ache* Jan 26 16:10:50 *the moon light's Dietlinde's room. She's asleep on what was always her side of the bed, his side neatly made still* Jan 26 16:11:14 * Morgan leans against the door, watching her for a few moments Jan 26 16:11:44 * Dietlinde looks peaceful, the room smelling of lily of the valley* Jan 26 16:12:29 * Morgan sighs quietly, pulling the door closed and heading down into the kitchen to make coffee Jan 26 16:12:47 *he hears snoring from the parlour* Jan 26 16:12:56 * Morgan looks in Jan 26 16:13:01 * Dietlinde is now known as HH Jan 26 16:14:04 * HH is asleep sprawled on the couch, one booted foot hanging over the arm, the bootless on on the floor next to the empty boot. An empty whiskey bottle is laid on the floor Jan 26 16:14:26 * Morgan mutters, going into the kitchen to start the water boiling Jan 26 16:14:45 *it doesn't take too long Jan 26 16:15:01 * Morgan takes it out into the garden, waiting for sunrise Jan 26 16:16:32 *it does. It makes him think of that morning in the Rose Garden where Molly had first behaved to him as more than an underling, showing patience, understanding and compassion that he wasn't used to anyone giving* Jan 26 16:23:14 * Morgan has quit (Quit: Leaving) Jan 26 17:16:39 * Morgan (~mads@iMac-2.lan) has joined Jan 26 17:22:14 * HH has quit (Read error: EOF from client) Jan 26 17:27:50 * MollyK (~igloo@CrystabllesiPad.lan) has joined Jan 26 17:27:58 [16:01:28] HH: *it does. It makes him think of that morning in the Rose Garden where Molly had first behaved to him as more than an underling, showing patience, understanding and compassion that he wasn't used to anyone giving* Jan 26 17:28:27 * Morgan drinks his coffee quietly Jan 26 17:28:46 * MollyK is now known as HH Jan 26 17:29:24 * HH staggers outside, one boot on, one off, and finds the very furthest bush from the house that he can to throw up in Jan 26 17:30:00 * Morgan watches him, muttering Jan 26 17:32:14 * HH comes over after five minutes. He sounds a little drunk even still Jan 26 17:32:35 My 'ead's like scrambled eggs Jan 26 17:33:51 * Morgan glances at him, sipping his coffee Jan 26 17:34:01 * HH sits down heavily Jan 26 17:34:11 This is fucked up, man. Jan 26 17:37:18 Oh really? I hadn't noticed. Jan 26 17:43:43 Nah... *he stares at his hands* e'erytime I look at 'em, man, I think "I buried you... I fucking... fucking -buried- you" *this is new, HH hasn't told him this, nor has anyone else* Jan 26 17:44:05 * Morgan looks at him Jan 26 17:44:08 What? Jan 26 17:46:30 Picked up up mesel' from th' ashes, man. Gets in all the cracks on yer 'ands, all th' fucking lines. Soot, man. Charcoal. An' I fuckin'... *he mimics rubbing hard and fast at his hands* scrubbing... soaking *he pauses them* and fucking scrubbing.., and fucking soaking... *he repeats the actions, voice rough* Jan 26 17:47:08 * Morgan moves, grabbing the back of his neck and pulling him into a hug Jan 26 17:47:20 Fuck. I'm sorry man, I had no idea Jan 26 17:47:27 Bleach don't get it out, not fuckin' brandy neither *he sounds choked up* Jan 26 17:49:02 * Morgan holds him in place, dropping the cup into the grass to bring his other hand to HeinzHarolds back Jan 26 17:50:20 * Morgan speaks soothingly Jan 26 17:50:38 Its alright.... Jan 26 17:51:37 * HH sobs in a way that Morgan has seen since Heinzharold lost his Da, partly the emotions of it, but partly the alcohol too Jan 26 17:51:46 Hasn't* Jan 26 17:52:06 * Morgan continues to hold him, talking quietly, letting him get it out Jan 26 18:00:40 * HH quiets after a minute, pulling away Jan 26 18:00:45 Sorry Jan 26 18:00:51 The fuck for? Jan 26 18:01:16 Turning into a blubbering wreck Jan 26 18:02:13 * Morgan shakes his head Jan 26 18:02:16 Its understandable Jan 26 18:02:45 Y' got much bigger problems, don' need me addin' to it Jan 26 18:03:51 No man, no.... what you're carrying, thats... huge. Jan 26 18:04:32 I'm glad they're alive, but it's 'ard when I did what I done Jan 26 18:06:07 You didn't leave them alone, you brought them so they could rest... Jan 26 18:06:30 I tried, man. I tried. Jan 26 18:07:23 * Morgan nods, pulling away to watch him sympathetically Jan 26 18:07:41 * HH is still looking at his hands Jan 26 18:08:49 I miss my lil darlin, man Jan 26 18:10:02 Go home man... you need to be with her Jan 26 18:10:19 Fuck no. I'm seeing this out Jan 26 18:10:52 Its alright... I'll manage Jan 26 18:11:00 Horseshit Jan 26 18:11:27 Fuckknows -what- I'll manage, though Jan 26 18:11:57 * HH chuckles, opening his flask and drinking a little Jan 26 18:12:40 Any minute, I'm gon' have a genius idea Jan 26 18:13:48 I thought Edward might have had one... not an easy one but... its just not gonn' happen Jan 26 18:14:04 How's it stand 'ere? Jan 26 18:16:15 She won't budge. She's convinced I'll come to my senses and put Molly aside... but she's said before that that she'll move closer but we won't be... -us- Jan 26 18:18:29 * HH nods Jan 26 18:18:58 Kinda makes sense for who y' used t' be Jan 26 18:19:21 * Morgan nods Jan 26 18:19:33 Thats the other thing... even if I did yield... I'm not that man anymore Jan 26 18:20:51 She still wants y' though? Jan 26 18:21:03 She thinks I'm still the man I was Jan 26 18:21:53 She still th' woman she used t' be? B'cause honestly, I'm kinda surprised that she's got so much mettle Jan 26 18:23:43 She's always had it... didn't see it often and, lets be honest, when it comes to the children, she'd fight to the death Jan 26 18:25:02 * HH nods Jan 26 18:25:24 Guess with 'er babes to think of both o' her options make th' most sense Jan 26 18:27:34 She won't die by a thousand cuts, she says... Jan 26 18:29:52 * HH nods, offering the flask Jan 26 18:30:14 * Morgan shakes his head Jan 26 18:31:02 Be diff'cult, e'erytime you were home in Sudlachenburg knowing y' were with Molly and trying to get babes on her Jan 26 18:32:02 * Morgan nods Jan 26 18:32:16 yeah Jan 26 18:33:47 An' when y' got babies and Veisgrafy shit, steward duties in Koln an' Innesbruck, visitin' the Eisenfurst and shit, yer gonna be really busy Jan 26 18:35:46 * Morgan nods looking thoughtful Jan 26 18:37:31 Only way t' get round that is to dump it all on that cunt Edward an' go live somewhere quiet w' Dietlinde like it was sposed t' be Jan 26 18:38:28 But what about Molly? I persuaded her to come back because I couldn't be without her Jan 26 18:40:01 Molly's stronger, man. An' she's already yer Da's favourite, she'll find someone else, probably end up a Duchess, or an Eisenfurstin Jan 26 18:40:56 * Morgan sighs Jan 26 18:41:05 I'd have to leave home... forever. Jan 26 18:41:30 * HH nods Jan 26 18:42:00 Sudlachenburg's gonna be a way worse place Jan 26 18:43:25 * Morgan sniffs Jan 26 18:43:30 One way or another, Edward pays Jan 26 18:43:33 * HH drinks another mouthful Jan 26 18:44:26 Yeah. Hey, there's this noble guy I know, served on the nauti with me... I know it's a bit soon, but I reckon he an' Molly would be a good match Jan 26 18:45:40 * Morgan scowls Jan 26 18:45:48 Come on man Jan 26 18:46:53 He's a lot like you used t' be. I think mebbie it could work. Would save y' feelin so bad about choosin' Dietlinde Jan 26 18:47:52 And Varick? Jan 26 18:48:27 He's got yer Ma and Da, you "die" an' they're his guardians, right? Jan 26 18:49:17 We adopted him Jan 26 18:49:31 So they'll adopt him Jan 26 18:51:45 * HH watches him, and takes a coin from his pocket, flicking it Jan 26 18:52:58 Be serious man Jan 26 18:54:03 I am. Spose you let the coin decide, heads Dietlinde, tails Molly, yeah? *he flicks it, catching in with his hand over it* Jan 26 18:54:56 And leave it to fate? Or Theus who has such a wonderful track record of not being cruel or impotent Jan 26 18:55:31 Part of y' is 'oping one side is up, prolly yer gut. Mebbie that'll 'elp y' see a way forward. Jan 26 18:55:55 No. No. Jan 26 18:56:09 * HH doesn't even look at the coin before putting it in his pocket Jan 26 18:57:19 Y' don't need th' coin's answer, jus' yer own Jan 26 18:58:21 I don't have one Jan 26 18:59:00 Gotta say man, havin' seen y' with them both, tha's kinda surprisin' Jan 26 18:59:17 What? Why? Jan 26 19:01:11 You an' Molly got more like a shared unnerstandin' and close frienship, but y' don't have that same swoonin' adoration like y' do with Dietlinde Jan 26 19:01:50 Dietlinde was my first love, man... and we had years together... Molly and I, we're still... getting used to everything Jan 26 19:03:12 Yeah, an' Inga's prolly gonna rip me a new hole f' this, but doesn' it make more sense t' stop that in it's track now, b'fore it gets deeper? Jan 26 19:04:55 What if a year from now Dietlinde realises I'm not a man she loves anymore? Jan 26 19:05:55 What if Molly realises tha' y' need her as a Veisgrafin and heir-layer, but not as a wife an' sweetheart? Jan 26 19:06:24 My love for her is real man, you fucking know that Jan 26 19:07:09 Doesn' matter what -is-, only matters what they -feel-. That's wha' my Da used t' say when 'e was in the dog'ouse Jan 26 19:07:48 Fuck. Jan 26 19:10:07 Y' totally over the barrel, man. I can only say it like I see it. Y' have one way o' having Dietlinde back, but the sacrifices are gonna be bigger than before. But it's -Dietlinde-. An' the kids. Jan 26 19:13:13 * Morgan looks like he might crumble Jan 26 19:13:17 I don't know what to do Jan 26 19:15:30 * HH nods Jan 26 19:17:23 Can y' live with the second option of her an th' kids living nearby but the marriage bit being over? Could y' handle visiting the kids every week or two for a couple nights, but you an' Dietlinde are more like 'er an' DeeDee? Jan 26 19:17:49 Long enough, maybe Jan 26 19:18:01 Long enough f' what? Jan 26 19:18:08 * Morgan frowns Jan 26 19:18:11 Doesn't matter Jan 26 19:18:27 * HH looks suddenly much more sober Jan 26 19:18:37 Long enough for what, Morgan? Jan 26 19:18:56 Let it alone Jan 26 19:19:26 * HH shakes his head "Fucking won't, not after you goin' AWOL before." Jan 26 19:20:03 'M not goin' anywhere, alright? Jan 26 19:20:34 No, not alright. Jan 26 19:21:16 * Morgan bends, picking the cup back up Jan 26 19:21:44 Tell me what you fucking meant. Jan 26 19:22:01 All that matters is they're all safe and taken care of Jan 26 19:22:25 If tha's all that mattered y' wouldn't be agonising over it Jan 26 19:23:10 Yeah, well, what I need is for Dietlinde to relent. Jan 26 19:23:55 She doesn't wanna fuck a guy who's fucking someone else. That's a pretty hard and reasonable boundary, man Jan 26 19:25:41 I can't keep them safe in Avalon... that place is nightmare of fucking monsters Jan 26 19:26:56 Go somewhere else then. Ussura, Vesten, wherever. You're physically able, she earns her own money. Y' managed by yerselfs in the cottage Jan 26 19:27:17 Yeah, in the one place we were supposed to be safe. Jan 26 19:27:39 * HH shrugs Jan 26 19:27:51 Noble rules are fucking stupid as shit Jan 26 19:29:00 * Morgan nods Jan 26 19:30:33 Mebbie if y' tell this to Molly she'll just quit th' field an' make it simple for ya Jan 26 19:30:55 After I begged her to come back... Jan 26 19:31:15 She can't help you being dumb Jan 26 19:32:32 * HH looks at him, obviously warring over something Jan 26 19:32:46 Spit it out. Jan 26 19:33:27 If it gets back to Inga 'ow you know, it's pretty likely she's gon' leave me for betraying confidences Jan 26 19:34:19 * Morgan nods Jan 26 19:34:24 Then its down to your conscience Jan 26 19:34:38 * HH sighs, nodding Jan 26 19:35:41 Molly already believes that she's only with you because y' can't be with Dietlinde. She feels like th' compromise candidate. She'll do. Jan 26 19:36:04 * Morgan looks deeply hurt Jan 26 19:37:15 I see Jan 26 19:37:45 Yeah. It's pretty shit, but what I'm sayin' is that she's prob'ly pretty prepared to be left, and pretty prepared to walk away now Dietlinde's back Jan 26 19:39:14 And if I'm not the man Dietlinde can love anymore? In a year, they're far from home and I'm completely alone. Jan 26 19:41:38 See, that's the point, man. Molly shouldn't just be because th' alternative is being alone. You think back on what we said, an' yer talkin about getting Dietlinde to come round, where to maybe take them, what t' do if Dietlinde changes her mind. Seems t' me like you do know what y' really want Jan 26 19:42:15 I want them safe. I want to not hurt them. I want to not be the fucking danger I always am to them. Jan 26 19:44:03 Only way Dietlinde is ever gon' be completely safe is if you stop being nobility. Only way Molly is is if she isn't sailin' off on that bloody ship like she's gonna be respected and treated like a man. Jan 26 19:47:42 Yeah well, I won't be able to stop her Jan 26 19:49:53 * HH nods "can't protect 'em both without keeping Molly Veisgrafin an' Dietlinde an' the kids being close" Jan 26 19:50:29 Uh huh... and thats what I was trying to do Jan 26 19:53:00 * HH nods Jan 26 19:54:29 Any chance Molly will compromise? Mebbie you just have a white marriage? ((This would be a marriage where there's no sex, so purely political/friendship based)) Jan 26 19:56:34 She wants a child. So that if things break down, we will raise it as companions Jan 26 19:57:29 Could work, if Dietlinde will compromise? Do it until she's pregnant, then it's over? Jan 26 19:57:56 She doesn't want to fuck a man fucking someone else... Jan 26 19:58:49 Let's be honest man, who would? I wouldn't marry Inga if I had to let her sleep with anyone else, no matter how much I loved her. Jan 26 19:59:49 Then that wouldn't work either Jan 26 20:00:24 * HH shrugs Jan 26 20:01:47 Fuck knows. Easiest thing personally is gonna be lettin' Molly go. Easiest thing politically is going to be lettin' Dietlinde have a white marriage an' living nearby Jan 26 20:03:07 Get them both safe and provided for then remove the dangerous element from the situation Jan 26 20:03:32 * HH looks at him "huh. Feels really weird." Jan 26 20:03:51 What? Jan 26 20:03:53 Don't think I've ever felt disappointed in you before. Jan 26 20:04:26 I've felt it for three years, you get used to it Jan 26 20:04:44 *From the house, Dietlinde calls "breakfast!" Jan 26 20:05:24 Seems like you'll only be happy if y' destroy 'em both, so yeah, no point in me tryin' to help you Jan 26 20:05:29 * HH gets up Jan 26 20:08:07 * Morgan sighs Jan 26 20:08:17 That hurts Jan 26 20:08:31 Not wrong though, am I? Jan 26 20:08:49 I don't want to hurt them Jan 26 20:09:13 Being dead is gonna devestate them both Jan 26 20:10:03 How long to reach Starke and get back here? Jan 26 20:11:18 Depends if he's smart enough to check e'ery inn and tavern for first coupla days, then send a messenger to give yer orders not to sail unless you're there in person, no matter what she says Jan 26 20:12:04 What? What are you on about? Jan 26 20:12:36 Y' askin' when Edward will turn up, right? Jan 26 20:12:41 * Morgan nods Jan 26 20:13:42 If he's smart, he finds out if she's been at any inn. If she hasn't for a couple of towns on th' way, chances are she didn' go that way. Stop the ship, but get back quicker Jan 26 20:14:18 And Claudia intercepts him and sends him here... how long? Jan 26 20:14:29 * HH shrugs Jan 26 20:14:39 Could be today, tomorrow mebbie Jan 26 20:15:14 * Morgan nods Jan 26 20:15:45 Y' need a plan b'fore he gets here though Jan 26 20:16:18 For when he can't enact his perfect plan Jan 26 20:16:39 B'cause if yer killing him you can't leave Sudlachenburg Jan 26 20:17:05 I never said I was going to kill him Jan 26 20:17:28 Beat him but not so much he can't be the Graf? Jan 26 20:17:53 I'm going to see to it he can't walk... ever. Jan 26 20:18:05 He's gotta be able to as Graf Jan 26 20:18:23 So he gets away with it all and gets his perfect fucking life Jan 26 20:18:42 Only if y' wanna leave Jan 26 20:19:55 Go have breakfast Jan 26 20:20:10 She's gon' be expecting you, man Jan 26 20:20:25 I'll be in in a minute Jan 26 20:20:52 * HH looks at him as if he's trying to decide whether he's safe to be left alone Jan 26 20:21:40 * Morgan doesn't move, just looking down the garden Jan 26 20:22:05 You know what's really fuckin' tough? Jan 26 20:22:12 * Morgan sighs Jan 26 20:22:13 What? Jan 26 20:22:48 When y' start settling down and having kids, but yer Da ain't there to see it b'cause he died when you were a kid. Jan 26 20:23:25 * Morgan staggers like he's been sucker punched Jan 26 20:24:01 Don' wanna be cruel man, but I can't let you be a dickhead Jan 26 20:24:23 Feels pretty fucking cruel Jan 26 20:25:06 If it helps y' look at those kids an' not kill yerself, then I gotta be cruel. You'd do it for my kids. Jan 26 20:25:48 I hear you Jan 26 20:26:21 * HH nods "Good." Jan 26 20:26:44 *dietlinde calls "Morgan? Heinzharold? Breakfast." Jan 26 20:26:56 Tell her I'll be in in a minute Jan 26 20:27:06 * HH nods, going in Jan 26 20:28:37 * Morgan stays where he is for a few minutes before going inside Jan 26 20:30:08 *At breakfast the children are squabbling again. DeeDee reminds them to be kind before taking some toast and going off to work. Dietlinde kisses Morgan's crown as she puts his plate down, and Heinzharold seems determined to eat them out of house and home Jan 26 20:30:55 * HH is now known as Dietlinde Jan 26 20:31:30 * Dietlinde sits beside him "Will you be ready for church after breakfast?" Jan 26 20:32:03 * Morgan sighs quietly, nodding Jan 26 20:33:42 * Dietlinde smiles. All the long established routines of how he has his breakfast set up and the condiments he wants are enacted, except in three years of eating in different places his 'normal' routines have changed. Frequently she's doing something that doesn't match how he does it now Jan 26 20:34:54 * Morgan gently redirects some of the things Jan 26 20:35:15 * Dietlinde looks confused by it, but just keeps trying to do things to make him happy, whilst also talking to the children who are also trying to talk him. It makes everything noisy and a bit chaotic Jan 26 20:36:28 * Morgan sips his coffee, watching the children Jan 26 20:37:28 *they both want to go to church, but Dietlinde gently reminds them that they will go tomorrow instead by the time they step out into the sunshine the children have relented Jan 26 20:37:53 Thank you for this, I know you are sceptical Jan 26 20:39:04 * Morgan nods Jan 26 20:39:44 *as they're going down the path, there's a messenger going up it* Jan 26 20:40:13 * Morgan moves in front of the others instinctively Jan 26 20:40:48 *the messenger inclines his head briefly before heading for the door* Jan 26 20:41:48 You have something for me? Jan 26 20:42:09 M: Are you Heinzharold? Jan 26 20:43:05 No, he's inside Jan 26 20:43:20 *the messenger continues on to the door* Jan 26 20:44:24 * Morgan watches him for a moment Jan 26 20:44:44 Love, you mind if we wait and see what thats about? Jan 26 20:46:07 But it's for Heinzharold Jan 26 20:47:17 * Morgan sighs Jan 26 20:47:21 Alright... lets go Jan 26 20:49:24 * Dietlinde nods Jan 26 20:49:40 It isn't very far Jan 26 20:50:35 *the church is small and plain, and empty inside. She looks up to the ceiling when they go in* Jan 26 20:50:46 What are you looking at? Jan 26 20:51:07 I don't know. You used to do it often so it's a habit Jan 26 20:51:27 You never knew why I do it? Jan 26 20:51:37 I don't think you told me Jan 26 20:52:32 You know the expression about churches being Gods house? Jan 26 20:52:57 Yes Jan 26 20:53:47 When I was younger, I believed it literally... but since I never saw him, I figured he must be in the rafters, so I'd spend time looking for him... it became a habit... Jan 26 20:53:59 * Dietlinde nods Jan 26 20:54:06 I understand Jan 26 20:55:28 *it's a little odd not to get amusement, a comment of it being sweet, follow up questions, or gentle teasing. And he realises that is because that is what Molly will do when he gets home and tells her about it* Jan 26 20:55:55 * Morgan frowns briefly Jan 26 20:56:39 * Dietlinde goes to sit in the front pew, acceptable when it's empty Jan 26 20:56:55 * Morgan sits beside her, looking round Jan 26 20:57:17 I always miss you in Church *it's nice enough, but nothing special* Jan 26 20:58:03 This is.. I think the third time I've been in one since the fire Jan 26 20:58:27 Our Heavenly Father will always welcome you back Jan 26 20:58:59 It was not me abandoned him Jan 26 20:59:35 But now you can see that he didn't really. We've been kept safe Jan 26 21:00:08 While he left me to suffer Jan 26 21:00:56 Please, Morgan... we are together again now, we could look to the future with forgiving hearts Jan 26 21:01:37 * Morgan sighs Jan 26 21:02:18 I'm sorry. Its difficult Jan 26 21:02:43 I know, but you are such a good man with such a generous heart Jan 26 21:04:41 I was. I don't know what I am now Jan 26 21:05:21 You are still that man, you're just a little uneasy now Jan 26 21:06:12 But that it was so simple Jan 26 21:07:17 We could have that *she offers her hand* pray with me, please? Jan 26 21:07:46 * Morgan takes her hand Jan 26 21:07:50 Alright Jan 26 21:10:50 Our father who art in heaven, please help us to serve you and be good people. Please soothe the pains that we have felt and please help us to be closer in our hearts. Please help us to find you again in our union, and strengthen us against the temptations to be cruel, petty, selfish, or unforgiving. Please bless and protect our children, and keep Jan 26 21:10:51 them safe, happy, and good servants of their Lord... Jan 26 21:11:27 * Morgan squeezes her hand gently Jan 26 21:11:33 * Dietlinde looks at Morgan "what would you like to add?" Jan 26 21:11:51 That'll do for me Jan 26 21:12:23 * Dietlinde closes off the prayer, smiling and squeezing his hand Jan 26 21:13:09 Thank you Jan 26 21:13:59 * Morgan nods, sitting quietly for a few minutes Jan 26 21:14:08 * Dietlinde does likewise Jan 26 21:15:02 Morgan, would it have been easier if I'd really died? Jan 26 21:15:59 It would've been easier if I'd known... if Edward had come to me,,, Jan 26 21:16:13 * Dietlinde nods Jan 26 21:16:34 Would you like to go for a walk now? Jan 26 21:16:41 * Morgan nods Jan 26 21:16:48 I would... would it be safe? Jan 26 21:17:18 We probably couldn't hold hands but I think it will be alright Jan 26 21:17:50 * Morgan nods Jan 26 21:18:56 *the walk is pretty, the day nice and warm, but he finds his mind straying to the messenger* Jan 26 21:19:08 Was the guest room comfortable enough? Jan 26 21:19:32 * Morgan nods Jan 26 21:19:45 Disorienting, though, waking there suddenly Jan 26 21:21:33 Did you have nightmares? Jan 26 21:22:01 dreams Jan 26 21:22:23 You wouldn't have disturbed my sleep then Jan 26 21:22:50 Not so sure about that Jan 26 21:22:58 Why? Jan 26 21:24:31 I still woke with a start, and was very shakes... Jan 26 21:25:03 I would have rubbed your back, just like we used to for each other Jan 26 21:27:25 I'm not who I was, Lina... I'm not that easy going, gentle man anymore Jan 26 21:28:17 But you would be once we were living together again, and the children would soften you... maybe we'd have another baby, that'd be nice Jan 26 21:28:29 And if I wasn't? Jan 26 21:28:49 But you would be, because that's who you really are Jan 26 21:29:18 Losing you like that... it changed me... and I don't think its a change that can be undone Jan 26 21:29:40 But if losing me did that, getting me again would fix it Jan 26 21:30:03 And if it doesn't? If those scars are permanent like the others I carry? Jan 26 21:31:01 * Dietlinde 's micro-expression shows distress at the mention of the whipping scars on his back that she'd only properly see the once and then he'd tried to shield her from Jan 26 21:31:30 I believe that you will heal from those emotional scars with lots of love Jan 26 21:32:19 *they've looped around, heading towards the house again* Jan 26 21:33:15 But what if they don't? What if you can't fix me? Jan 26 21:33:55 But I'm your wife, and that will happen. Our love is that strong. You said it'd always conquer anything Jan 26 21:36:03 * Morgan nods slightly Jan 26 21:36:04 I did Jan 26 21:37:21 * Dietlinde stops him with a hand on his arm, and they're in the far part of that copse. The branches overhead are full of leaves, but the pattern of them is much like in the clearing where they get married Jan 26 21:37:30 You don't think it can... Jan 26 21:39:01 I was actually thinking that if that were the case, you'd compromise, but... saying so would've been hurtful. Jan 26 21:39:22 * Dietlinde looks desperately hurt Jan 26 21:40:03 You're asking me to tolerate and allow you to break our wedding vows we made before God Jan 26 21:40:54 I understand... which is why I didn't say it. What I am asking is terribly unfair. Jan 26 21:41:21 Yes it is. It's horrible and dishonourable. Jan 26 21:43:19 * Morgan looks very hurt, turning to start walking slowly Jan 26 21:43:34 * Dietlinde walks at pace with him Jan 26 21:44:15 I love you, Morgan, and I want you to come back into our marriage properly. I have never left it. Jan 26 21:44:34 There is no room for any compromise Jan 26 21:46:16 I do not think I can see one. I just ask that you will honour your vows. I wouldn't have accepted being your mistress five years ago, and you wouldn't have ever asked me to Jan 26 21:48:07 HeinzHarold suggested a white marriage but... I would have to supply an heir and... that would be intolerable Jan 26 21:48:50 Intolerable for who? Jan 26 21:49:26 * Morgan shrugs Jan 26 21:50:51 *she looks so unhappy* What would happen then, once an heir was made? Would you be ready to be faithful to me? Jan 26 21:52:08 I can see the idea is too painful for you Jan 26 21:53:58 It's painful to think of what we have shared in our most private moments being shared by you with another. That all that love and tenderness has been given to another woman.. *she shakes her head* Jan 26 21:54:15 * Morgan nods Jan 26 21:54:33 How about... we spend the rest of today not thinking about it? Jan 26 21:55:17 * Dietlinde nods "we can enjoy time we have as family... but..." Jan 26 21:56:27 But... Jan 26 21:57:02 But up until now, you thought you were a widower, and it wasn't a betrayal of our vows because to you they ended when I died. But from now on, that would be truly betraying me, wouldn't it? Truly turning your back on our consecrated union. Jan 26 21:58:36 I've been wondering about that Jan 26 21:59:08 * Dietlinde nods Jan 26 21:59:43 I'm not dead, so we are still married, and you can't be married to anyone else while your spouse is still alive Jan 26 22:00:20 This isn't not thinking about it... Jan 26 22:00:53 * Dietlinde nods, walking beside him quietly until they get to the house Jan 26 22:02:23 *the children sound like they're engaged in a calm activity* Jan 26 22:02:41 * Dietlinde looks at him "do you need to find Heinzharold?" Jan 26 22:03:20 I'll let him know we're back and then make some coffee Jan 26 22:03:39 I'll see to coffee, that's fine Jan 26 22:04:02 * Dietlinde is now known as HH Jan 26 22:04:25 * HH is found in the garden, sat on the wall Jan 26 22:04:40 * Morgan looks him over as he approaches Jan 26 22:04:42 Saw the messenger Jan 26 22:04:54 * HH nods. He looks a bit tense Jan 26 22:05:06 How was church? Made progress? Jan 26 22:05:15 * Morgan shrugs Jan 26 22:05:31 Church is... complicated... just to make a change... Jan 26 22:05:39 * HH nods Jan 26 22:05:46 Wanna tell me about it? Jan 26 22:06:09 My relationship with Theus is... strained at best Jan 26 22:06:25 Not that relationship I was really asking about, man Jan 26 22:08:29 I know... but what you're really doing is avoiding something Jan 26 22:20:00 Lil bit, yeah Jan 26 22:20:23 * Morgan watches him Jan 26 22:22:17 Note came from Sudlachenburg. Yer Father in law is a crazy son of a bitch, he rode clear through the schwarzenwald, gave it to a messenger in Papen to bring on down. Means the news is only two days old, not four Jan 26 22:22:37 * Morgan whistles quietly Jan 26 22:22:48 Clearly he didn't hear when I told him about the wall... Jan 26 22:22:55 wald Jan 26 22:23:05 * HH shrugs Jan 26 22:23:20 * Morgan frowns Jan 26 22:23:23 What news? Jan 26 22:23:41 * HH looks vaguely evasive Jan 26 22:23:47 More an update really Jan 26 22:24:20 Go on... Jan 26 22:24:35 Molly's alright, apparently. Jan 26 22:24:43 apparently... Jan 26 22:25:28 Inga and Martha wrote it. Molly's "Alright" Everything is "alright" Molly says. Jan 26 22:25:50 I don't... I don't understand Jan 26 22:27:10 Noone's seen a moment from her of anything but cherry, ruthless efficiency. No moping, no crying, no discussing it beyond "that is a matter for my husband and I" or "you'll need to discuss that with the Veisgraf" Jan 26 22:27:51 * Morgan frowns Jan 26 22:28:03 thats... unsettling Jan 26 22:28:07 * HH nods Jan 26 22:28:43 She's running them ragged because she won't stop being busy. Oh, and as of two days ago, she hasn't slept since you left Jan 26 22:29:17 thats... thats not good. Jan 26 22:30:44 * HH nods "Inga asked her to write to you, but she said "No thank you, my husband is a very man at present and it is better that we do not disturb him" every follow up as was met with "We have discussed this already" Jan 26 22:32:01 If I don't go back, its going to break her mind isn't it Jan 26 22:32:08 * HH opens it, looking it over Jan 26 22:33:28 Probably won't find her at 'ome, she'd got it into her head that it would be very useful to visit Bahnhof and start lookin' for a suitable property. She's managed to talk yer Da out of five hundred guilders for it Jan 26 22:34:32 Dietlinde won't yield at all. Jan 26 22:34:51 Fuckin' weird as shit, man Jan 26 22:35:42 Ah shit... the fuck am I going to do? Jan 26 22:36:49 What's really worryin me is this... *he points to the sign off where it says "I love you, knuddelbarchen ((meaning little cuddle bear)) Jan 26 22:37:39 Thats... sweet... I suppose Jan 26 22:37:53 It's a fuckin' code word is what it is Jan 26 22:38:12 For what? Jan 26 22:40:01 Coupla week's back we were jokin' that spouses could have pet names as like a secret code or shit. One o' the ones I said was knuddelbarchen could mean something like "I can't talk honestly right now" Jan 26 22:40:45 Thats not very helpful. Jan 26 22:41:36 Nope, but it was just jestin', y' know? Not like we had anything set in stone. But Inga can't properly write. Martha's writ this Jan 26 22:42:06 So she's put that so Martha doesn't know something. Jan 26 22:42:51 * HH nods "there's summat she can't tell me because she'd have to get Martha to write it" Jan 26 22:43:21 Alright... what do we do Jan 26 22:43:37 * HH looks at him "I sent a reply, but I think I need t' go 'ome and try t' get some shit under control" Jan 26 22:44:00 * Morgan nods Jan 26 22:44:09 Yeah, that would be... wise... Jan 26 22:44:15 * HH nods Jan 26 22:45:10 Really thought if one would crack an' the other would be completely resolute an' shut shit down it'd be th' other way up... Jan 26 22:45:38 * Morgan nods Jan 26 22:46:16 You gon' be okay here til Claudia comes? Jan 26 22:46:42 I should go back Jan 26 22:47:03 Fuck no! That's th' worst thing y' can do Jan 26 22:47:36 Why? Jan 26 22:48:53 Tells Dietlinde that you'll drop time w' her an' the kids the moment it goes saily-flap-flap at Die Dauerhaftigkeit, an' it tells Molly that they think she's losing it, and she'll be angry that y' had to cut it short for her Jan 26 22:50:02 * Morgan looks torn Jan 26 22:50:15 That makes sense I suppose Jan 26 22:51:26 This happen before? Molly getting really efficient? *what comes to mind is her bright red hands using scalding water to scrub the kitchen tiles after the first night they strayed further than kissing, scared he was going to call it off* Jan 26 22:51:47 * Morgan nods Jan 26 22:52:13 Sort of... last time she did anything like this she was afraid I was going to call off the wedding Jan 26 22:52:24 * HH nods slowly Jan 26 22:53:59 Insomnia? *she's had a couple of weeks of barely any sleep when they were at the cottage, that time worried because of the lustful feelings she had felt were too much for him and unrequited. She'd said too that she had three weeks of it whilst homeless and stealing sleep in random barns* Jan 26 22:54:13 * Morgan nods Jan 26 22:54:37 That too... and after her doting father cast her out, she had weeks of it... Jan 26 22:54:46 * HH nods Jan 26 22:55:30 Alright. This is serious saily-flap-flap... like the fucking rope's broke off an' a storms coming up? Jan 26 22:57:12 * Morgan nods Jan 26 22:57:14 Looks that way Jan 26 22:57:50 Okay, I'm gonna get my kit an' get there as quick as I can Jan 26 22:58:07 * Morgan sighs, nodding Jan 26 22:58:16 I feel useless staying here man Jan 26 22:58:36 If y' think I'm wrong, say so Jan 26 22:59:46 I don't... I just... I've failed my wife once before by not being there... Jan 26 23:00:05 * HH nods Jan 26 23:00:36 Inga's watching her, man. They're keeping her safe. Jan 26 23:00:45 Safe as they can Jan 26 23:00:51 Yeah Jan 26 23:02:08 Remind me quick o' the Forrester stuff? Inga told me Molly got cast out, but she 'ad a low cut dress on, so... *he makes a "you know how it is" gesture* Jan 26 23:03:19 She got ill, her father assumed she'd been messing with a boy, didn't want that damage to his reputation and cast her out... Some visiting doctor and his family took her in and cared for her, made her better Jan 26 23:03:34 * HH nods Jan 26 23:03:38 Then what? Jan 26 23:04:19 She was homeless, sleeping in peoples barns when she could til she came to Lady Torringtons house Jan 26 23:04:29 * HH looks shocked Jan 26 23:04:43 Shit, man, pretty sure I didn't know that bit Jan 26 23:04:51 * Morgan nods Jan 26 23:05:39 * HH nods Jan 26 23:06:33 Keep them happy an' they love you, right? Step outta line and yer abandoned? Jan 26 23:07:21 shit... yeah Jan 26 23:08:10 * HH pats his arm "I'll see ya in... *he adds up* 'bout a week?" Jan 26 23:08:33 I'll get the travel down to three days, maybe less Jan 26 23:08:57 * HH nods "five or six days..." Jan 26 23:10:00 I'll try an' get word t' you. If Forrester gets eaten by the Schattenmann it's just karma. Jan 26 23:10:30 * Morgan nods Jan 26 23:10:32 Be safe Jan 26 23:10:46 * HH hugs him hard "love you, man" Jan 26 23:10:59 I love you Jan 26 23:11:16 * HH pats his back before jogging into the house Jan 26 23:11:56 * Morgan waits a few minutes before going inside Jan 26 23:12:07 * HH is now known as Dietlinde Jan 26 23:12:45 * Dietlinde is sat as the table whilst the children are painting. She smiles at Morgan Jan 26 23:12:54 Will you join us? Jan 26 23:14:00 * Morgan nods, sitting down Jan 26 23:15:01 *the children show him their paintings. Jana already has a talent for drawing, but JoJos is mostly a splattery mess* Jan 26 23:16:21 Very good, you've both got some talent there Jan 26 23:18:08 *they are pleased with the praise. They spend the day wanting to be with him all the time, warring over who is going to have most of his attention. Dietlinde seems content to watch him with them, allowing his bond to bloom. He is chosen to do bedtime alone after a very loud and lively day. Jan 26 23:19:42 * Morgan takes them up to their room Jan 26 23:19:50 * Dietlinde is now known as Jana Jan 26 23:20:05 Will you still be here tomorrow night, Vati? Jan 26 23:20:23 * Morgan nods Jan 26 23:20:40 Yes but... the day after, I need to go to start sorting some things out Jan 26 23:20:54 JoJo: Stay! Jan 26 23:22:22 I can't, I've got some things I need to arrange Jan 26 23:22:37 I understand, Vati Jan 26 23:23:28 * Morgan nods, kissing her crown Jan 26 23:23:49 *the children get into their night clothes and hug him* Jan 26 23:24:07 Will you sing a lullaby? Jan 26 23:24:22 JoJo: the best lullaby you know! Jan 26 23:24:42 Hmmm, that'll take some thinking about... Jan 26 23:25:27 *what springs to mind is one he used to hear at Foxcroft, a mix of Avalonian and Vesten words, called Kosk Yn Ta* Jan 26 23:26:32 * Morgan nods Jan 26 23:26:37 Alright, I've got one... in you hop Jan 26 23:26:55 * Jana and her brother get in and settled under the covers Jan 26 23:27:35 * Morgan clears his throat, singing for them Jan 26 23:27:57 *they both fall asleep with smiles on their face* Jan 26 23:28:55 * Morgan watches them for a few minutes before squaring his shoulders and leaving the room Jan 26 23:29:52 *the upstairs hall is empty, DeeDee having made an excuse of going to the tavern again. It's in this moment of quiet that he's really able to start taking stock of everything* Jan 26 23:30:15 * Morgan sits on the stairs quietly, thinking Jan 26 23:31:23 *about twenty minutes passes before Dietlinde appears at the bottom. She's taken that lovely straight flaxen hair down, and she watches up at him* I've made coffee... Jan 26 23:31:31 * Jana is now known as Dietlinde Jan 26 23:31:55 * Morgan nods, getting up and coming down the stairs Jan 26 23:32:13 * Dietlinde goes in to the parlour, sitting on the couch Jan 26 23:32:20 There's no sugar in it Jan 26 23:32:39 * Morgan nods, sitting down Jan 26 23:32:41 Thank you Jan 26 23:33:13 * Dietlinde moves closer like she's used to them being. Her hair shines in the low light Jan 26 23:33:40 They love having you here Jan 26 23:34:08 * Morgan nods Jan 26 23:34:19 They are so... wonderful Jan 26 23:34:27 * Dietlinde nods, smiling Jan 26 23:34:32 JoJo looks like you Jan 26 23:34:52 He does some, aye Jan 26 23:35:07 * Dietlinde watches him Jan 26 23:35:13 Have they tired you? Jan 26 23:35:41 Some Jan 26 23:35:58 You do seem subdued Jan 26 23:36:12 * Morgan nods Jan 26 23:36:18 A fair assessment, yes Jan 26 23:36:48 I'm used to your being more chatty Jan 26 23:37:21 Things on my mind I'm afraid Jan 26 23:39:35 * Dietlinde nods, watching him. Then she picks up her cup and sips it. He nose wrinkles just as it had drinking the first sip of the smokey tea in the forest on their first date, something he thought was the cutest thing he'd ever seen and blurted it out, a few moments on before he'd worked up the nerve to kiss her* Jan 26 23:40:05 * Morgan smiles slightly, sipping his coffee Jan 26 23:40:22 I forgot sugar in mine Jan 26 23:40:46 * Morgan nods Jan 26 23:40:49 I'll fetch some Jan 26 23:40:57 * Dietlinde lets him Jan 26 23:41:43 * Morgan comes back with her cup a couple of minutes later, handing it to her Jan 26 23:42:01 * Dietlinde takes it, thanking him Jan 26 23:42:54 You won't need to share the guest bed with Heinzharold tonight Jan 26 23:43:17 No... he's headed home Jan 26 23:43:36 He must miss his betrothed Jan 26 23:44:04 Very much so Jan 26 23:44:24 * Dietlinde nods "does she know how lucky she is?" Jan 26 23:44:46 Think so Jan 26 23:44:54 * Dietlinde nods Jan 26 23:45:24 I will ask early to save disappointment, will you come to bed? Jan 26 23:45:48 * Morgan sighs Jan 26 23:45:51 I'm sorry, no Jan 26 23:46:03 Just to sleep? Jan 26 23:46:56 * Morgan watches her Jan 26 23:47:00 Let me think about it Jan 26 23:47:19 * Dietlinde nods Jan 26 23:47:58 You will definitely not want... ? *she blushes* Jan 26 23:48:39 No... I don't think that would be fair to anyone Jan 26 23:48:58 * Dietlinde nods thoughtfully Jan 26 23:49:28 I understand Jan 26 23:49:50 * Morgan nods, looking at his cup Jan 26 23:50:24 * Dietlinde speaks quietly Jan 26 23:50:34 That is the end of it? Jan 26 23:50:57 * Morgan nods Jan 26 23:51:37 Yes, it is Jan 26 23:51:46 * Dietlinde exhales slowly Jan 26 23:52:14 That's sad, isn't it? Jan 26 23:53:33 I'm trying so very hard to do my best for all of you Jan 26 23:53:40 * Dietlinde nods Jan 26 23:53:46 I know you are Jan 26 23:56:18 *she sips her coffee* You once told me that a man who prides himself of being principled but who buckles when offered a big gain to violate them isn't a truly principled man, he's just a man who hasn't been given the right inducement to be unprincipled... Jan 26 23:56:37 * Morgan nods Jan 26 23:56:52 I remember Jan 26 23:58:20 I want you with me and with the children, I want that desperately, but I am a principled woman. What you asked would violate my principles, and I'd lose a part of myself that I just cannot lose Jan 26 23:59:11 * Morgan nods