**** BEGIN LOGGING AT Sun Oct 16 16:22:27 2022 Oct 16 16:22:27 * Morgan (~mads@iMac-2.lan) has joined Oct 16 21:29:35 * MollyK (~igloo@CrystabllesiPad.lan) has joined Oct 16 21:31:25 *Edward looks at Morgan. He looks serious* Morgan. A moment. Oct 16 21:31:32 * MollyK is now known as Edward Oct 16 21:34:47 * Morgan nods the others out of the room Oct 16 21:37:02 *they go, leaving Edward with Morgan. He looks a little displeased* I understand you must have much to prepare for today, but you said we would speak with my daughter. Oct 16 21:37:31 Yes... and we will Oct 16 21:38:23 [Molly, would you check to see if Alice is able to speak to us all today. Edward is quite vexed with me] Oct 16 21:39:01 [of course] Oct 16 21:39:07 * Edward nods Oct 16 21:39:12 Thank you. Oct 16 21:39:36 You thought I had forgotten? Oct 16 21:41:58 I was concerned it might have slipped your mind Oct 16 21:42:53 I'll be honest, Edward, that upsets me. I know this is the last chance you will have to speak to her for a week or so, I know how very important this is Oct 16 21:45:13 * Edward nods Oct 16 21:46:31 Yes, but you and Molly are important too. I understand you being later than I anticipated Oct 16 21:46:46 [ten minutes, my love] Oct 16 21:49:46 I had anticipated returning last night. Regardless, give me fifteen minutes and bring some coffee to my room Oct 16 21:52:45 * Edward nods, putting his hands in his pockets Oct 16 21:52:58 Did you have a pleasant evening? Oct 16 21:53:33 * Morgan looks at him Oct 16 21:53:47 Feeling guilty now, aren't you Oct 16 21:55:07 I am sorry. I am worried about her feeling that I did not care to speak to her whilst I still could. Oct 16 21:55:31 * Morgan nods Oct 16 21:56:44 Its fine. Get your hands out of your pockets and stop feeling bad about it. Oct 16 21:57:41 * Edward nods Oct 16 21:58:20 Mina was concerned you and Molly would be cold out there Oct 16 21:58:30 * Edward takes his hands out of his pockets Oct 16 21:58:37 * Morgan smiles slightly Oct 16 21:58:52 Hot rocks, they do a wonderful job of keeping a space warm Oct 16 22:00:47 I couldn't tell Mina that. I told her you would warm each other up. *he smiles* Oct 16 22:01:16 * Morgan looks confused Oct 16 22:01:24 You've never used rocks from a fire? Oct 16 22:01:47 Actually, no. I hadn't thought of it Oct 16 22:02:23 That surprises me... it was a trick I picked up on assignment Oct 16 22:03:19 * Edward shrugs Oct 16 22:03:27 Did you hear the bell? Oct 16 22:04:01 * Morgan nods Oct 16 22:04:28 Sound travels well when the air is that still and cold. Oct 16 22:05:32 * Edward nods Oct 16 22:06:13 Everything was alright for you both? Oct 16 22:07:00 It was wonderful, we are very grateful... we didn't realise quite how much we needed the time and space Oct 16 22:08:15 * Edward smiles Oct 16 22:08:45 I have just had an idea. You have one last night, why not stay out there again? Oct 16 22:09:16 Maybe... we wish to spend as much time as we can with all of you Oct 16 22:09:44 Though we would sleep more than last night regardless Oct 16 22:10:23 * Edward chuckles Oct 16 22:10:27 That good? Oct 16 22:11:00 * Morgan nods Oct 16 22:11:06 Went to sleep sometime around half three Oct 16 22:12:43 * Edward laughs Oct 16 22:13:01 It does sound like you needed it! Oct 16 22:13:45 * Morgan nods Oct 16 22:14:04 I want your input on something... Oct 16 22:15:08 After three hours even you should have been able to figure out what to do with it, brother. Oct 16 22:17:07 Shut up... its... serious Oct 16 22:17:18 Yes? Oct 16 22:19:06 I don't remove my shirt because of the scars I have... it'd scare Varick. I keep them to mark the time I made the choice to not accept Kaufmann or anyone else's stupid, malicious orders... Oct 16 22:19:59 * Edward nods Oct 16 22:20:06 Yes? Oct 16 22:21:52 Am I being foolish not getting Molly to reduce them? Do I really need a reminder of how brutal the punishment was, or that I stood my ground? Claudia asked if I need any reminder that I am a good man Oct 16 22:24:07 Let me ask you this then. If you had been healed at the time, and had no scars after you had healed, would you have forgotten the punishment or what you did? Oct 16 22:24:24 * Morgan shakes his head Oct 16 22:24:41 Then you do not need them now Oct 16 22:25:45 I cling to them to mark who I am.... but I am who I am without them... Oct 16 22:26:08 Yes you are Oct 16 22:26:42 * Morgan nods Oct 16 22:26:58 While I am away, I think... Molly says its going to take a lot of work just to reduce them Oct 16 22:27:07 I have a suggestion for you to consider. Replace them with a tattoo that represents those things to you without restricting your choices Oct 16 22:27:27 * Morgan looks at him for a moment before smirking Oct 16 22:27:36 You just don't want to be the only one who faces fathers wrath for it Oct 16 22:27:45 * Edward laughs Oct 16 22:28:05 I think he has forgotten about it Oct 16 22:28:57 He did the right thing and dropped it in the circumstances... was yours expensive? My scarring is... lets say extensive, and we're not sure she could rid me of them completely anyway Oct 16 22:34:53 * Edward nods Oct 16 22:35:24 I had had some money aside... Oct 16 22:35:55 * Morgan frowns Oct 16 22:36:11 For the fire starter... Oct 16 22:36:20 * Edward flinches Oct 16 22:36:24 Yes. Oct 16 22:37:09 * Morgan nods slowly Oct 16 22:37:34 That is... appropriate Oct 16 22:38:00 * Edward nods Oct 16 22:38:45 It would be expensive, and I would only go to a particular acquaintance of mine in Numa who did it Oct 16 22:40:00 There would be a certain closure to that I think... I'll consider it... depends rather on how quickly Witts and James can get a decent trade established Oct 16 22:41:05 * Edward nods Oct 16 22:41:33 Was that all you wanted to ask? Oct 16 22:42:16 Ask, yes Oct 16 22:42:45 What else? Oct 16 22:44:02 I'm just... struggling a little with something, but I'll be alright Oct 16 22:44:52 * Edward frowns Oct 16 22:45:03 We are brothers. Confide in me, Oct 16 22:46:24 I... feel I have moved so far from who I was, I am no longer the man Dietlinde loved. I am finding that difficult. Oct 16 22:47:49 What makes you think that? Oct 16 22:50:40 * Morgan blushes Oct 16 22:51:41 * Edward looks confused Oct 16 22:53:32 Lets say our intimate activities are more... energetic and... *he sighs* rough... Even the thought of being anything other than tender and loving with Dietlinde would fill me with guilt... now... Oct 16 22:55:29 Do you think that somehow makes you less good a man? Oct 16 22:57:16 No... just not the one she loved Oct 16 22:57:25 I am moving further and further from them Oct 16 22:59:44 But with each day that passes, you are closer to being reunited with them in eternity Oct 16 23:00:27 That presents its own difficulty, doesn't it Oct 16 23:00:43 * Morgan sighs Oct 16 23:00:59 I was alright with all this yesterday. I don't even know _why_ its bothering me today Oct 16 23:03:21 I am afraid I do not know. Was there a specific moment it started? Oct 16 23:04:25 Just this morning... without wishing to share too much, we did get up to things that we had not until now Oct 16 23:05:48 * Edward nods Oct 16 23:06:57 Sometimes that can feel uncomfortable, like you have over-revealed yourself, or shocking that you behaved or enjoyed something. I assume you were sober? Oct 16 23:07:27 * Morgan nods Oct 16 23:07:33 Takes an awful lot for me to get drunk Oct 16 23:08:36 Sometimes being drunk gives you a shield from it. You rationalise that you would not like or do something if you were sober Oct 16 23:09:02 So you lie to yourself and blame the drink Oct 16 23:09:10 * Edward nods Oct 16 23:09:15 Basically, yes. Oct 16 23:09:19 [Would you get it setup so Varick can see Florrie? I'll be up soon] Oct 16 23:09:58 [*she sounds teasing* again so soon?! I am impressed!] Oct 16 23:10:25 [would've thought you'd find sitting down difficult right now] Oct 16 23:11:04 [no, it's slightly tender, but really it was not all that hard] Oct 16 23:11:44 * Morgan nods Oct 16 23:11:50 How do I fix it? Oct 16 23:13:25 I am told that reassurance from the person you did it with is that best help, but I have usually been in a different town by then. Then you just drink more Oct 16 23:17:56 Right. I'm going to give Varick time to speak to Florrie... they miss eachother, so... ten minutes, yes? Oct 16 23:18:16 I will get coffee... Oct 16 23:18:52 * Morgan nods, moving toward the door Oct 16 23:19:14 If I'd been so late we missed them... I'd have taken your mirror and left you mine Oct 16 23:19:26 * Edward nods Oct 16 23:20:31 Listen, brother... you aren't the first to have these feelings afterwards, from all manner of activities. It will pass Oct 16 23:21:22 * Morgan nods Oct 16 23:21:49 Just... try to endure it and take no action in case it is down to feeling this way temporarily... Oct 16 23:23:06 * Edward nods "Once we have seen Florrie, we can work on this further, though I am sure you'd prefer Heinzharold " Oct 16 23:24:14 I think... I'll be alright now I know its not that uncommon... I'd rather just spend time with you all Oct 16 23:25:39 * Edward nods "I could subtly get some input from Wonks and DeeDee, if that would help, but do see your wife." Oct 16 23:26:23 * Morgan nods Oct 16 23:26:47 I will. I'll talk to her about staying out there again tonight, as well... its _almost_ the coldest water I've ever swum in Oct 16 23:27:38 You've had colder? Oct 16 23:28:09 * Morgan nods Oct 16 23:28:25 Couple of times. North Ussura for one Oct 16 23:30:06 I dare say the iceholes the Skomi tribe go in would be worse Oct 16 23:30:47 Been in the sea not far from the Vesten coast... thats the coldest I've been in Oct 16 23:31:01 * Edward nods Oct 16 23:31:08 I prefer life. Oct 16 23:31:41 So do I, thats why I did it Oct 16 23:32:01 What had you done? Oct 16 23:32:42 * Morgan shrugs Oct 16 23:32:50 There was a ship that needed to not be there anymore Oct 16 23:33:03 ((Said nonchalantly)) Oct 16 23:33:19 * Edward looks at him strangely Oct 16 23:33:24 You sunk it? Oct 16 23:34:05 I boarded it, and after I left, it sunk Oct 16 23:34:16 sank... sunk... sank. Oct 16 23:34:24 Fortuitous. Oct 16 23:35:01 Isn't it. *he grins* hardest swim of my life, its a bloody wonder I didn't get frostbite Oct 16 23:35:36 Then you and Molly would still be out there trying to work with what you had left over Oct 16 23:36:02 Probably, yes Oct 16 23:36:24 * Edward nods Oct 16 23:37:06 Alright, I'll be up soon Oct 16 23:38:12 * Morgan nods, heading off towards his room Oct 16 23:41:22 *Upstairs in their room Varick is chatting away to Florrie. Molly, complete with a very thick fichu, is still packing their things. She whispers, smiling Oct 16 23:41:28 * Edward is now known as Molly Oct 16 23:41:43 Now you are up... Oct 16 23:41:53 * Morgan nods Oct 16 23:42:08 How're they getting along? Oct 16 23:42:38 That depends whether you count animal noises as friendly communication Oct 16 23:42:58 If they're not arguing, yes Oct 16 23:44:12 * Molly nods Oct 16 23:44:39 And you and Edward? Are you making animal noises at each other? Oct 16 23:45:26 He was just worried he would not get to speak to Florrie... he didn't want her thinking he'd decided not to bother when its the last chance he'll have for a week or so Oct 16 23:45:36 That's sweet Oct 16 23:46:08 Are you well? I know our discussion got very... personal. Oct 16 23:46:23 * Morgan nods Oct 16 23:47:11 Edward may have given me some insight... we'll discuss it later, when we have more time. Edwards suggested we stay out at the summerhouse again tonight Oct 16 23:47:31 * Molly nods eagerly Oct 16 23:47:42 If you would like that Oct 16 23:47:53 We can do, aye Oct 16 23:48:03 * Molly smiles Oct 16 23:48:14 Alright, liebling Oct 16 23:49:48 * Morgan looks over Oct 16 23:49:57 I'm just going to talk to Florrie Oct 16 23:50:22 * Molly nods "would you have me take Varick away?" Oct 16 23:50:55 Not until Edward arrives, no Oct 16 23:51:08 Al Oct 16 23:51:15 Alright Oct 16 23:51:25 * Morgan smiles slightly, going to sit by Varick Oct 16 23:55:01 * Morgan has quit (Quit: This computer has gone to sleep) Oct 16 23:55:18 * Molly has quit (Read error: EOF from client)