**** BEGIN LOGGING AT Fri Jul 29 12:39:40 2022 Jul 29 12:39:40 * MollyK (~igloo@31.185.35.52) has joined Jul 29 12:42:16 * MollyK has quit (Read error: EOF from client) Jul 29 22:27:11 * Morgan (~mads@iMac-2.lan) has joined Jul 29 22:29:48 * MollyK (~igloo@31.185.35.52) has joined Jul 29 22:30:40 ((C&p pls)) Jul 29 22:31:40 Why didn't you bring it? Jul 29 22:31:40 In the pack on the horse... Jul 29 22:31:40 * Adalbrecht nods Jul 29 22:31:40 I thought you meant you have left it for Molly Jul 29 22:31:40 She rarely gets nightmares Jul 29 22:31:42 * Adalbrecht nods Jul 29 22:31:44 Good Jul 29 22:31:46 * Morgan nods Jul 29 22:32:11 * MollyK is now known as Edward Jul 29 22:32:25 **They make good progress to the camp site that is marked by a stack of wood and two barrels. It's a little clearing, on the lower hills of the mountain range, and there will no doubt be a spectacular view over the forest and Graben land in the morning. Edward assigns the men duties, sending his Father and friends to hunt. Riefenstahl is sent to Jul 29 22:32:25 check the perimeter for signs of bears and bears. Jul 29 22:32:47 * Edward takes his tinder box to the unlit bonfire Jul 29 22:33:31 A word, brother? Jul 29 22:34:19 * Morgan watches his brother warily Jul 29 22:34:36 * Edward continues at his task Jul 29 22:35:11 I wish to give you my sincerest apologies for the way my actions have continued to harm you and your wife. Jul 29 22:35:38 I don't... I don't understand Jul 29 22:36:17 These nightmares where you are unable to recognise the present Jul 29 22:36:32 That is not your doing Jul 29 22:36:40 Of course it is. Jul 29 22:37:35 No. We all got ourselves into a situation that we could all have handled differently. These times I get stuck, that is not your doing. Jul 29 22:38:14 * Edward shakes his head Jul 29 22:38:52 The fault is mine, you will not dissuade me from that conviction. Jul 29 22:39:42 * Morgan sighs Jul 29 22:39:50 I had hoped we had moved beyond this Jul 29 22:41:27 As had I. I had hoped that as you and Molly continued to become closer, and as Mina and I were finally to enter that state we have long sought to attain, the impact would lessen. Jul 29 22:45:02 I do not blame you any longer, and the blame I laid at your door I have forgiven, as has Molly. *he looks at his brother* do you know what sort of nightmares I get? Jul 29 22:45:29 * Edward concentrates on landing the sparks safely Jul 29 22:45:54 Aside from that Dietlinde is still alive and I have failed to do that awful thing, no. Jul 29 22:47:19 First, in those dreams, she is alive because you gave me an ultimatum, after telling father what you had planned. I made my choice, and we had to leave. It is simply another path that could've been walked. As are the sheer majority of my nightmares Jul 29 22:48:08 * Edward sighs Jul 29 22:48:57 If I had been older, wiser. Less of an arrogant blackguard. Jul 29 22:49:25 * Morgan nudges him Jul 29 22:50:35 * Edward nearly falls into the pile of lightly burning twigs at the base of the bonfire Jul 29 22:52:44 If I toast my gingamobs Mina will be very unhappy tomorrow Jul 29 22:53:28 * Morgan watches him quietly Jul 29 22:54:56 * Edward looks at Morgan Jul 29 22:55:26 If you could not be the reason they end up that way, I'd be grateful Jul 29 22:56:03 * Morgan glances round before putting the fire out without moving Jul 29 22:56:07 You were safe. Jul 29 22:57:45 * Edward nods, looking at where the fire was Jul 29 22:57:50 Ungrateful. Jul 29 22:58:11 * Morgan sets it going again Jul 29 22:58:34 I want you to understand how very serious I am... Jul 29 22:58:57 * Edward gets up, standing back, his tinderbox away in his pocket Jul 29 22:59:41 I understand. Jul 29 22:59:50 * Morgan shakes his head Jul 29 23:00:27 I am _begging_ you... forgive yourself as I have forgiven you. Jul 29 23:01:16 I am trying. But knowing the pain it is causing you, and especially to Molly... how can I forgive that? Jul 29 23:03:32 Let me put it into some perspective... I have nightmares very nearly overnight, usually at least twice. Maybe three of them are about Dietlinde and Jana, sometimes their loss, sometimes not. Once a month I get stuck, which between you and I, is connected to a specific event, I get stuck in a dream that they are alive. Once I am unconscious, the knowledge returns gently, no wrenching, no pain. And now we know when to expect it, we can plan for it Jul 29 23:05:09 And Molly? How do we protect her? Jul 29 23:05:35 Protect her from those days I wake up thinking I'm in the past? Jul 29 23:06:20 How do you intend to do that? Jul 29 23:07:16 If the pattern sticks, which I have no reason to think won't be the case, we can prepare for it, so she will not be hurt by my not knowing who she is. Jul 29 23:08:22 * Edward goes to uncork the barrel Jul 29 23:09:05 I would have her protected. Jul 29 23:09:21 In what way, Edward? Jul 29 23:09:33 From the pain Jul 29 23:11:01 The depth of your love for her still comes as something of a surprise. Don't get me wrong, I know you love her, but I don't think I understood how fiercely protective of her you are Jul 29 23:11:48 She is my _sister_. I failed before where I should have taken this role, I will not fail again. Jul 29 23:12:54 We are alright, Edward. And, like I said, we know its coming, we'll be ready, even if it means Claudia gets to hit me Jul 29 23:13:16 She would get some satisfaction from that? Jul 29 23:14:04 Probably Jul 29 23:16:31 * Edward nods, letting the dark ale out into a tankard, handing it to Morgan Jul 29 23:17:49 * Morgan takes it, sipping at it Jul 29 23:18:15 *it's blokners. Edward gets his own before corking it again* Jul 29 23:18:41 A toast? Jul 29 23:18:51 * Morgan nods Jul 29 23:19:05 What to? Jul 29 23:19:28 How about... family, in its many forms Jul 29 23:19:59 * Edward nods Jul 29 23:20:03 To family. Jul 29 23:20:39 * Morgan raises his tankard before drinking some Jul 29 23:21:11 * Edward drinks too. In the near distance, two gunshots Jul 29 23:21:55 It sounds like dinner has been sighted Jul 29 23:22:36 Or someones gotten over excited Jul 29 23:22:55 * Edward groans Jul 29 23:23:02 You say that so casually Jul 29 23:23:17 Thats because I was referring to your exuberant friends Jul 29 23:23:32 * Edward takes a mouthful Jul 29 23:23:37 Rather than me personally. Jul 29 23:24:22 * Morgan nods Jul 29 23:26:34 Molly and Mrs Fuchs will be giving Mina some instruction in what to expect? Jul 29 23:27:17 * Morgan watches Edward intently for a moment Jul 29 23:27:24 If they do you're in for a shock Jul 29 23:27:38 Why so? Jul 29 23:27:57 Stef is not nearly so innocent as she might seem Jul 29 23:28:19 I recall that thing with the pillow came from her. Jul 29 23:28:25 * Morgan nods Jul 29 23:28:51 And Molly, well... Jul 29 23:29:44 I can count on her to tone down what Mina might hear from Mrs Fuchs Jul 29 23:30:34 I would dearly love to be able to tell you you are correct. At the very least they will both couch it in such ways as to not embarrass Mina Jul 29 23:30:58 * Edward nods Jul 29 23:31:37 That is something, I suppose. I hope not to disappoint, compared to what she will now be expecting Jul 29 23:32:21 I have never known a man more in tune with how to deal with women... and what she will be told will be to benefit the both of you Jul 29 23:32:37 * Edward sips his drink Jul 29 23:33:28 Until this with my daughter, I would have agreed. But learning what I have misread in Mina has shaken that somewhat. Jul 29 23:34:59 * Morgan nods Jul 29 23:35:25 You'll know to be more mindful in future Jul 29 23:35:51 * Edward nods Jul 29 23:37:03 As to taking her to bed... despite my vast, _varied_ experience, this is different. Jul 29 23:37:26 This is... important. Jul 29 23:38:18 * Edward nods Jul 29 23:39:19 I've painted a lot of pictures, but Father seeing that one of Molly was a level of anxiety I am not used to Jul 29 23:39:40 * Morgan nods Jul 29 23:39:58 It involves people that really matter to you, of course its more nerve wracking Jul 29 23:40:04 * Edward nods Jul 29 23:41:54 In brothels and the beds of noble women, you get criticisms, particularly as a clueless adolescent. Self-assurance and a hint of arrogance takes you through. It doesn't matter, and if you are smart you learn from it and do better with the next, and the next. Jul 29 23:42:35 * Morgan smiles slightly Jul 29 23:42:40 I'll take your word for that Jul 29 23:43:00 * Edward smiles Jul 29 23:43:44 I am sure you, my most exceptional brother, have never heard a criticism in your life. Or maybe you just have not noticed any, Jul 29 23:44:38 Until recently I'd never even been _in_ a brothel, and my count of people who were in a position to give any criticism is two Jul 29 23:45:27 I would say you have missed out, but I barely remember almost every woman I've ever swiped. Jul 29 23:45:32 Swived* Jul 29 23:46:00 * Morgan shrugs Jul 29 23:48:55 Mina's lack of experience should mean there is little scope for her to have complaints, and yet the pressure for it to be perfect, to make that transition for her from maiden to woman something she remembers very fondly, is a level of performance I have never had to manage before Jul 29 23:49:43 I found the best way to deal with that was to make it entirely about her Jul 29 23:50:47 That I am not unversed in Jul 29 23:51:04 * Morgan nods Jul 29 23:52:35 And I know, rationally, that Mina has waited so long, with such grace and dignity, that I could make the most abominable job of it and she would still be happy Jul 29 23:53:15 Probably, yes Jul 29 23:54:24 Molly will be around, should Mina need to talk afterwards? Jul 29 23:54:50 I'm sure she could make herself available to her Jul 29 23:55:03 * Edward laughs Jul 29 23:55:32 Am I overstepping, brother? She was due to be making herself available to you? Jul 29 23:56:32 I'm sure she won't mind sacrificing some time to help Mina Jul 29 23:56:42 And you? Jul 29 23:56:52 * Edward looks more relaxed now Jul 29 23:59:25 I traipsed from Koln overnight to make sure Mina was safe, sacrificing an evening with Molly in a warm comfortable home is much more palatable Jul 29 23:59:47 * Edward nods