**** BEGIN LOGGING AT Sat Mar 26 00:00:37 2022 Mar 26 00:00:37 [That would have been most displeasing for you in the dream] Mar 26 00:01:04 [Aye. Second dream was easier] Mar 26 00:02:00 [something sweet and scandalous, I hope!] Mar 26 00:02:38 [yours] Mar 26 00:04:17 [Oh! With Madchen, and...] Mar 26 00:04:39 [and?] Mar 26 00:09:46 [It was all a little odd... having not gone to Fischler as I was so soon with child, there was never the cast, we had not discovered the depths of our feelings... I was still telling myself it was enough as it was] Mar 26 00:10:08 [I am sorry you had to feel that again] Mar 26 00:10:35 [It is not your fault, my love.] Mar 26 00:11:08 [even so. It seems we will eb able to dream together regardless of distance between us] Mar 26 00:11:40 [but you were right beside me] Mar 26 00:12:00 I know... but thats what I was told Mar 26 00:12:13 By whom? Mar 26 00:12:47 [Madchen] Mar 26 00:13:52 [She knows things, doesn't she?] Mar 26 00:14:48 [oh yes] Mar 26 00:15:39 [it was nice to see her again?] Mar 26 00:16:09 [Aye, it was. I wish it didn't upset her when it is time for me to wake Mar 26 00:16:12 ] Mar 26 00:17:58 [It is rather strange] Mar 26 00:18:20 [Definitely. Moreso since the Nieblungen have no idea what she is] Mar 26 00:19:02 [But for you, it must feel very personal?] Mar 26 00:24:11 [Why?] Mar 26 00:24:34 [That she is upset when you leave] Mar 26 00:24:55 [She resides in your dreams... I only visit] Mar 26 00:25:27 [I suppose so] Mar 26 00:26:43 [Do you think it meant anything?] Mar 26 00:27:08 [I don't think so. The ones with her don't tend to, I think] Mar 26 00:28:14 [I was entirely unaware of the consequences of Maubourg dying in it] Mar 26 00:28:38 [oh? That surprises me] Mar 26 00:31:07 [I know in reality, but in the dream we had never discussed what would happen with Gottkirchen, because we had never negotiated taking it over] Mar 26 00:32:10 [No, I suppose not] Mar 26 00:32:48 [It was nicer than hitting my father, at least] Mar 26 00:33:19 [Aye, very much] Mar 26 00:34:00 [perhaps you should stay with me more often) Mar 26 00:34:28 [how do you mean?] Mar 26 00:35:30 [into my dreams] Mar 26 00:36:01 [I'm afraid it is not my decision] Mar 26 00:36:44 [Some of them are too scandalous even for you, mon petit chou] Mar 26 00:37:20 [Perhaps] Mar 26 00:38:00 * Molly just smiles, and a few minutes pass Mar 26 00:38:30 [In my dream, about wanting to try to have another child....?] Mar 26 00:38:40 [yes?] Mar 26 00:39:16 [That was not in my dream from any present feelings] Mar 26 00:39:51 [Alright.] Mar 26 00:40:19 * Molly watches him a moment Mar 26 00:40:45 [in case you were worrying that it was] Mar 26 00:41:00 [I was not worried] Mar 26 00:41:42 [You has not considered it might be?] Mar 26 00:42:21 [I had] Mar 26 00:42:57 [But it did not worry you?] Mar 26 00:43:22 [No, it does not] Mar 26 00:44:41 [I thought it might.] Mar 26 00:45:39 [No, it doesn't.] Mar 26 00:47:12 * Molly watches him a long moment. HH laughing loudly makes her blink and look away Mar 26 00:49:48 [Do you know how you feel deal with your Father when we arrive?] Mar 26 00:50:23 [I thought I'd threaten to throw him in the Sudlache] Mar 26 00:51:31 [Again?] Mar 26 00:53:16 [it worked last time] Mar 26 00:53:43 [Will you speak to him this evening?] Mar 26 00:54:43 [Probably] Mar 26 00:55:09 [With Edward?] Mar 26 00:55:40 [I... don't know yet. Probably] Mar 26 00:57:04 [what would you have me do?] Mar 26 00:57:26 [I don't know. I'll think about it Mar 26 00:57:29 ] Mar 26 00:59:29 [I will help you in whatever capacity you wish] Mar 26 00:59:37 [I know my love] Mar 26 01:01:00 [How _are_ you? You are concerned about the route?] Mar 26 01:01:12 [I'm dreading it] Mar 26 01:03:08 [Should I stay nearby?] Mar 26 01:03:49 [No, we need you to work on Edward] Mar 26 01:04:15 [Is that what Herr Dekker is doing?] Mar 26 01:06:10 [He was asking me this morning what is going on. He's trying to get it out of Edward] Mar 26 01:06:45 [Will it work, or will I be needed?] Mar 26 01:07:19 [I don't know Mar 26 01:08:18 [I would rather be at your side, supporting _you_, not him] Mar 26 01:08:55 [I know my love, and I am truly grateful for that] Mar 26 01:10:30 [You are always my primary concern, always.] Mar 26 01:11:24 [I know blossom] Mar 26 01:12:48 [You will tell me, if you need me, even if I am with Edward.] Mar 26 01:13:07 [I will] Mar 26 01:13:44 [Even if it seems quite trivial, please.] Mar 26 01:14:35 [if you wish my love] Mar 26 01:16:08 [I do. If even my hand in yours will help you through the memories, that is what you shall have] Mar 26 01:16:25 * Morgan nods Mar 26 01:16:29 [alright] Mar 26 01:17:44 * Molly gives him a smile before continuing to ride with Varick in front of her Mar 26 01:20:45 * Molly has quit (Read error: EOF from client) Mar 26 16:28:56 * MollyK (~igloo@CrystabllesiPad.lan) has joined Mar 26 16:33:38 *The smaller route becomes familiar when they leave Hafenlohr. As is had been lunchtime that fateful day when he had discovered the fire, he had not reached this road going north until it was nighttime. Had it happened in December, as it is now, instead of September, he would have had to stop over at the tiny inn they ride past, though what he had Mar 26 16:33:38 done was change horses, and refill his flask. The rain had washed his hands clean by then, so it didn't alarm the woman serving. He hadn't spoken more than the necessary to acquire the things he needed, she hadn't seemed interested in the sorry tale of a soaked stranger anyway. He'd pressed north, not sleeping that night. Mar 26 16:35:46 * Morgan keeps a watch out for trouble Mar 26 16:37:07 *Varick changes horses every hour or so. Dekker continues to ride with Edward, HH and Inga now with Varick. Passing in and out of the column to keep scout, Claudia comes and goes. She's barely said two words to Morgan at all, the last he saw of her being the previous evening when Dekker talked about her family. With the anniversary of her father Mar 26 16:37:07 and his family's deaths on Memorial Day, the Mar 26 16:37:25 Just the day after tomorrow, her silence is understandable Mar 26 16:40:45 * Morgan watches Edward for a few minutes before looking at the treeline Mar 26 16:42:13 *Edward is deep in conversation. Everything seems peaceful, but he knows this will be a very long slog. Claudia rides up beside him* Mar 26 16:42:18 * MollyK is now known as Claudia Mar 26 16:42:42 No sign of bandits, drunks, or any trouble of any kind. Mar 26 16:43:15 * Morgan nods Mar 26 16:43:17 How you doing? Mar 26 16:44:13 Disappointed there's no one to hit Mar 26 16:45:42 * Morgan nods, looking round slowly Mar 26 16:46:12 * Claudia watches him Mar 26 16:46:16 You? Mar 26 16:46:49 Better than I could be, worse than I'd like Mar 26 16:47:49 Wanna scout on ahead a bit and talk? Mar 26 16:48:35 * Morgan nods Mar 26 16:48:38 I think so Mar 26 16:50:22 * Claudia gives him time to tell the others before Claudia goes thundering off down the road, passing Edward and Dekker Mar 26 16:51:21 * Morgan leans over to Molly Mar 26 16:51:27 I'm going to go talk with Claudia Mar 26 16:52:25 *she smiles at him* Alright, my love Mar 26 16:53:22 * Morgan nods before setting off at speed to catch Claudia Mar 26 16:54:59 * Claudia is far enough ahead to be well out of earshot. She slows enough to be riding alongside him Mar 26 16:55:07 What's bothering you? Mar 26 16:55:35 This is the route I took after the fire. A lot of memories I'd rather not have are popping up Mar 26 16:58:23 * Claudia nods Mar 26 16:59:17 Makes sense. At least you have friends and family with you, even if that is Edward. Mar 26 17:00:18 * Morgan nods Mar 26 17:00:20 Aye Mar 26 17:02:54 What's the latest on the wedding stuff? Mar 26 17:03:09 * Morgan shrugs Mar 26 17:03:17 I've not opportunity to feel him out on it Mar 26 17:03:47 Focus is just on getting back home without too many flashbacks? Mar 26 17:04:46 I think so. God knows how badly I'll react if it gets too much Mar 26 17:05:05 Got a plan for that? Mar 26 17:05:26 I... was thinking maybe get one of you to knock me out Mar 26 17:05:43 That would be my pleasure Mar 26 17:06:16 I've no doubt Mar 26 17:06:33 Got your balm? Mar 26 17:07:00 * Morgan nods Mar 26 17:07:01 always Mar 26 17:08:09 If it kicks off, I'll stay with you, get you back there safely. Heinzharold and Edward can keep Molly, Inga and Varick safe and go on ahead if we need Mar 26 17:08:24 * Morgan nods Mar 26 17:08:27 thank you Mar 26 17:08:40 You haven't been this way since? Mar 26 17:09:07 * Morgan shakes his head Mar 26 17:09:39 You've been to the ruin though? Mar 26 17:10:13 Had to... needed to before they started building there Mar 26 17:10:22 * Claudia nods Mar 26 17:10:36 Forrester's house down there now Mar 26 17:10:44 * Morgan nods Mar 26 17:10:58 Been since it was built? Mar 26 17:11:09 No... Mar 26 17:11:53 Been to their graves? Mar 26 17:12:05 * Morgan nods Mar 26 17:12:54 Good. This is one of the last things you still needed to go then? Mar 26 17:13:06 * Morgan sighs Mar 26 17:13:12 I suppose so Mar 26 17:15:00 I'm not going to give you some horseshit about doing it and moving on Mar 26 17:15:38 * Morgan smiles Mar 26 17:15:40 good Mar 26 17:16:11 have you thought anymore about thelling HeinzHarold? Mar 26 17:16:22 * Claudia sighs Mar 26 17:16:37 I know I should Mar 26 17:16:43 but... Mar 26 17:18:54 But it never seems right, and things are going good as they are Mar 26 17:19:14 * Morgan nods Mar 26 17:20:05 i know what you mean Mar 26 17:21:10 The three of us are more back like we were. Why change that? Mar 26 17:22:01 I understand Mar 26 17:23:27 If things are under control with my nightmares and flashbacks, maybe he doesn't need to know Mar 26 17:24:23 I think you're wrong Mar 26 17:26:00 Is it really that bad to keep a big secret from a best friend if it will hurt them this much? Mar 26 17:27:40 * Morgan shrugs Mar 26 17:28:22 If that is what you wish to do Mar 26 17:28:58 But you wouldn't keep anything from him? Mar 26 17:30:54 If you don't want to tell him, don't. I would advise you consider how you will handle it if he starts asking questions... Mar 26 17:31:22 Why would he ask? Mar 26 17:32:05 Because, despite all appearances, he isn't stupid. Mar 26 17:33:32 * Claudia shrugs Mar 26 17:33:43 I'll think about it. Mar 26 17:34:43 Just... have a plan. And I wouldn't suggest lying to him if he does ask. Mar 26 17:35:40 * Claudia nods Mar 26 17:37:33 I know Mar 26 17:38:09 What do you make of Dekker? Mar 26 17:38:31 * Morgan glances at her, smiling briefly Mar 26 17:38:37 I quite like him Mar 26 17:38:55 * Claudia nods Mar 26 17:39:35 Somewhat surprised he knew your family... Mar 26 17:40:00 * Claudia shrugs Mar 26 17:41:09 My father was pretty high up in the Objectionist Army. Where Dekker is from is pretty close to where I'm from too. Mar 26 17:41:36 * Morgan nods Mar 26 17:43:01 More of a surprise that he remembers me. Mar 26 17:45:21 * Morgan nods Mar 26 17:45:29 Aye... Mar 26 17:47:20 * Claudia sighs "Those days are gone. Nothing that can be done about it now." Mar 26 17:47:32 * Morgan nods Mar 26 17:47:34 I'm afraid not Mar 26 17:49:06 * Claudia sighs again ten minutes later when still no danger has presented itself Mar 26 17:49:26 Thought we might find at least one bit of trouble Mar 26 17:49:44 Bandits, you said... Mar 26 17:50:35 * Claudia nods Mar 26 17:50:52 I was hopeful Mar 26 17:51:39 HeinzHarold would be upset if we took care of it without him, though Mar 26 17:53:28 True, though he says he's done with fighting Mar 26 17:54:24 That doesn't really surprise me... heaven help anyone who tries to harm Inga Mar 26 17:55:30 * Claudia rolls her eyes Mar 26 17:55:45 I had thought maybe he'd never get married Mar 26 17:55:57 So did he Mar 26 17:58:43 I am sure there are a lot of women out there that won't end up being disappointed by him in bed Mar 26 17:59:56 She's doing womankind a massive favour... Mar 26 18:00:20 * Claudia laughs Mar 26 18:00:51 One thing about him though, he's not the sort who will screw around on her Mar 26 18:01:32 No, he's not. He's a good man, a proper one Mar 26 18:02:47 * Claudia nods Mar 26 18:03:04 Very few of them exist Mar 26 18:03:20 * Morgan nods Mar 26 18:04:21 You're passable too Mar 26 18:05:03 I'm decent... I'm not good Mar 26 18:06:48 Horseshit. Mar 26 18:08:01 * Morgan shrugs, taking out an apple Mar 26 18:09:50 Why aren't you? Mar 26 18:10:29 I've been cruel... I've killed where it wasn't necessary... Mar 26 18:12:11 So have most of us Mar 26 18:13:22 * Morgan shrugs, biting into the apple and looking at the treelike Mar 26 18:14:30 * Claudia watches him before shrugging Mar 26 18:16:39 Whatever. Wonder how the Rose is doing Mar 26 18:16:58 The Rose? Mar 26 18:20:02 That ship you own Mar 26 18:20:35 You sure you're wondering about the ship and not, say, the captain of it? Mar 26 18:20:53 Fuck you, Morgan. Yes I meant Sorgi. Mar 26 18:21:18 * Morgan smiles slightly Mar 26 18:21:45 I love you too... I would imagine he's fine Mar 26 18:23:01 * Claudia nods Mar 26 18:23:07 missing him? Mar 26 18:23:22 * Claudia shrugs Mar 26 18:23:40 Guess a bit, maybe. Mar 26 18:23:51 Uncomfortable with that? Mar 26 18:25:37 Yeah, a bit Mar 26 18:26:01 * Morgan nods Mar 26 18:26:43 I'm sure he's fine... only time he ever lost a ship was to me Mar 26 18:28:08 * Claudia nods Mar 26 18:28:21 Bored without us, I imagine Mar 26 18:28:35 He's got the cat Mar 26 18:30:38 * Claudia nods Mar 26 18:31:16 You're going to comment on me missing him then? Mar 26 18:32:09 * Morgan shrugs Mar 26 18:32:21 I don't fuck around with things that are important Mar 26 18:33:26 * Claudia nods Mar 26 18:33:47 I don't normally miss people. I don't let myself Mar 26 18:33:54 * Morgan nods Mar 26 18:33:56 I know Mar 26 18:35:32 You, Heinzharold, now Sorgi. Mar 26 18:36:39 Does it help you any that I quite miss him? Mar 26 18:37:45 You miss everyone Mar 26 18:38:45 No I don't... Mar 26 18:40:15 Elsie, James... Mar 26 18:40:29 * Morgan shrugs Mar 26 18:40:48 I worry for them, and I will be pleased to see them but I wouldn't say I _miss_ them Mar 26 18:41:18 That Colonel and his wife in Fischler? Mar 26 18:41:36 * Morgan shrugs Mar 26 18:41:40 about the same Mar 26 18:44:32 * Claudia shrugs Mar 26 18:44:44 You care about more people than I do Mar 26 18:45:08 * Morgan nods Mar 26 18:45:23 It isn't surprising Mar 26 18:46:07 * Claudia nods Mar 26 18:46:30 Bet you miss your wife Mar 26 18:46:41 * Morgan nods Mar 26 18:46:44 of course Mar 26 18:47:01 Even though she's not far behind us Mar 26 18:48:06 * Morgan nods Mar 26 18:48:10 indeed Mar 26 18:49:37 I hope I never end up that way about anyone *she laughs* Mar 26 18:50:01 It can be an utter pain in the ass Mar 26 18:51:48 Love looks much worse than lust Mar 26 18:51:59 yes and no Mar 26 18:52:42 Both? Mar 26 18:53:38 * Morgan nods Mar 26 18:54:30 How? Mar 26 18:55:51 Very often I feel more... grounded, stable... leaving aside all the good feelings that come with it... but also more vulnerable, more to worry about... Mar 26 18:56:36 That sounds like progress on your aim to be less reserved? Mar 26 18:56:45 * Morgan nods Mar 26 18:56:48 most of the time, yes Mar 26 18:57:14 Being vulnerable with someone is a big step. Proud of you. Mar 26 18:57:28 * Morgan looks at her, somewhat surprised Mar 26 18:57:38 What? Mar 26 18:57:48 I... wasn't expecting that. Thank you Mar 26 18:58:03 * Claudia shrugs Mar 26 18:58:37 I like you and Molly as a couple. It works. Mar 26 18:59:01 * Morgan nods Mar 26 19:00:34 You'll get there with your reserve, I reckon. What are you still stuck on? Mar 26 19:00:48 * Morgan shrugs Mar 26 19:00:59 Not shutting down when I'm stressed or troubled, mostly Mar 26 19:01:35 Defence mechanism. Bit like how she just disappears off? Mar 26 19:01:42 * Morgan nods Mar 26 19:01:45 no doubt Mar 26 19:02:08 * Claudia thinks Mar 26 19:02:24 You used to be more like Heinzharold in that Mar 26 19:02:32 * Morgan frowns Mar 26 19:02:34 stupid? Mar 26 19:03:19 No, that's when he becomes most smart and useful. He channels it into working out solutions and getting on with the job Mar 26 19:03:31 * Morgan nods Mar 26 19:06:10 You two will work it out Mar 26 19:06:20 * Morgan nods Mar 26 19:06:24 I reckon so Mar 26 19:07:00 You got pretty lucky, meeting her in Avalon Mar 26 19:07:17 whyso? Mar 26 19:08:10 It's a fairly big place Mar 26 19:08:25 oh, I see what you mean... Mar 26 19:09:19 What did you think I meant? Mar 26 19:10:12 Lucky that I met her there rather than anywhere else... not that it was lucky we met at all, given the size of the place Mar 26 19:11:27 No, the second one Mar 26 19:11:40 * Morgan nods Mar 26 19:11:51 Almost like it was... fated... Mar 26 19:12:00 * Claudia rolls her eyes Mar 26 19:12:16 Makes no sense that you can believe or be okay with that. Mar 26 19:12:42 No, I know... Mar 26 19:13:18 But you do Mar 26 19:14:04 Look at it like this... we weren't fated to be together... just to have some sort of relationship, and the rest has been down to us. Mar 26 19:15:43 You wouldn't have always been attracted? Mar 26 19:16:03 No... Mar 26 19:17:07 ... but...? Mar 26 19:17:40 No but... Mar 26 19:18:33 Hard to imagine you not being, but then I haven't seen the two of you together without it Mar 26 19:20:58 * Morgan nods Mar 26 19:21:03 Aye Mar 26 19:21:28 How you doing about the Rosie stuff? Mar 26 19:22:07 Its simple. I have to just not die and he'll have no appeal to her Mar 26 19:22:42 So if you die, she's suddenly going to fancy him? Mar 26 19:24:33 mmmhmmm Mar 26 19:25:36 What, like gradually, or like right that moment?! Mar 26 19:28:23 I'd imagine gradually, though I'd bet quicker than you'd expect Mar 26 19:28:55 That's gonna be difficult Mar 26 19:30:09 why? Mar 26 19:31:07 She's gonna find that upsetting Mar 26 19:31:33 * Morgan nods Mar 26 19:31:36 best not die then Mar 26 19:32:17 Yeah, rather you don't. Lost enough people I love, thanks, Mar 26 19:32:25 * Morgan nods Mar 26 19:36:55 * Claudia still sees no danger. There's singing when he rejoins the others, though not Edward or Dekker. They finish talking at the time that everyone starts eating whilst riding. Dekker falls to the back to talk to Morgan as they keep riding Mar 26 19:36:59 * Claudia is now known as Dekker Mar 26 19:37:10 I am sorry to say I have had no luck Mar 26 19:37:42 In getting him to tell you or persuading him in his actions? Mar 26 19:40:33 Both. I have dispensed what fatherly advice I can, but he is reluctant to discuss it Mar 26 19:42:08 * Morgan nods Mar 26 19:42:14 I thought he would be Mar 26 19:43:28 He has determined to be a martyr, I think. Mar 26 19:43:42 * Morgan nods, sighing Mar 26 19:43:54 Its idiotic Mar 26 19:45:22 * Dekker nods Mar 26 19:46:43 It was when he went back to the battlefield to carry off his friends when he was already injured. Some men will sacrifice themselves until there is nothing left to sacrifice. Mar 26 19:47:02 * Morgan nods Mar 26 19:47:34 He is doing what he believes to be right... I just hope that his idea of it being right isn't because he thinks its what I wouldn't do Mar 26 19:49:16 [Have you checked the mirror this morning?] Mar 26 19:49:38 That is a possibility Mar 26 19:49:50 Then that is one I need to challenge Mar 26 19:49:51 [yes, there is nothing yet] Mar 26 19:50:46 I am anticipating no wedding, but I hope to be wrong. Do you have other tactics to try with him? Mar 26 19:51:37 My wife is working on him Mar 26 19:51:41 [damn] Mar 26 19:53:50 It is time sensitive, I assume? Mar 26 19:54:01 fairly, aye. Mar 26 19:56:28 He reminds me strongly of my younger self. Tough love and perseverance are all that ever made a difference when I was his age. Later, age-old regrets became more effective Mar 26 19:57:24 I cant expect him to respect my principles if I would not show him the same courtesy Mar 26 19:58:48 * Dekker watches Morgan Mar 26 19:59:16 Principles are a fine thing to have, until what they cost far outweighs the value of them Mar 26 19:59:45 * Morgan frowns Mar 26 19:59:49 what would you suggest? Mar 26 20:02:21 Sometimes you have to take the actions that are in the best interests of your men, even if they hate it. You want to do right by Edward, and that means doing right by the Edward of a year from now, ten years from now. Not the Edward of today and tomorrow. Mar 26 20:02:58 Even if it costs us the relationship we've built? Mar 26 20:03:54 Will you be satisfied with that in a few years when he comes to you pining for the woman he has lost? Mar 26 20:04:13 * Morgan scowls Mar 26 20:04:14 no Mar 26 20:06:40 We know what lies ahead for him if he doesn't stay with Lady Hapsburg. Some damage to your relationship now could save him from a life of pain. Mar 26 20:07:01 Not to mention saving the child and her mother from the same Mar 26 20:10:00 * Dekker has quit (Read error: EOF from client) Mar 26 20:12:02 * MollyK (~igloo@CrystabllesiPad.lan) has joined Mar 26 20:12:19 [19:58:19] Dekker: We know what lies ahead for him if he doesn't stay with Lady Hapsburg. Some damage to your relationship now could save him from a life of pain. Mar 26 20:12:26 [19:58:40] Dekker: Not to mention saving the child and her mother from the same Mar 26 20:14:56 * Morgan nods Mar 26 20:15:41 It won't be 'some' damage. I fear it will be irreconcilable. But if that saves him from years of that pain, it is what I will do Mar 26 20:16:15 Would your wife be better placed to deliver the tough love? Mar 26 20:16:23 * MollyK is now known as Dekker Mar 26 20:18:59 I would'tI don't know Mar 26 20:19:31 * Dekker nods Mar 26 20:19:51 I am only sorry I could not make a breakthrough with him Mar 26 20:20:29 Thank you for trying. I think if he would open up you would be able to persuade him Mar 26 20:22:04 * Dekker nods Mar 26 20:22:42 My men and I will need to turn back in an hour, but I hope to see you all again in a few weeks at the wedding Mar 26 20:23:09 I hope so... I'll send word as soon as I know Mar 26 20:26:22 * Dekker nods, inclining his head before riding to one of his men, leaving Morgan alone to ponder his next move Mar 26 20:26:50 * Morgan mutters to himself Mar 26 20:29:41 *the others are still eating, Varick on Molly's horse* Mar 26 20:30:53 * Morgan rides up beside hers Mar 26 20:31:46 * Dekker is now known as Molly Mar 26 20:32:14 * Molly smiles "Sandwich, my love?" Mar 26 20:32:21 * Morgan nods Mar 26 20:32:22 please Mar 26 20:33:55 * Molly hands one over, checking his expression Mar 26 20:38:11 * Molly has quit (Read error: EOF from client) Mar 26 21:00:59 * MollyK (~igloo@CrystabllesiPad.lan) has joined Mar 26 21:01:55 * Morgan takes it, looking troubled Mar 26 21:02:31 [Do you need me?] Mar 26 21:02:51 [I'm alright for the moment] Mar 26 21:05:19 [You look troubled, can I share your burden?] Mar 26 21:06:16 [Just thinking about Edward... Dekker suggests if he won't see sense, tough love might be required. I'm just trying to come to terms with the fact it'll destroy what we've worked so hard for] Mar 26 21:07:15 [By being tough with him?] Mar 26 21:07:31 [Aye] Mar 26 21:10:20 [I would not want you to lose what the two of you have built, not when it matters so much to you. I suspect it is part of how you are returning to how you used to be] Mar 26 21:10:58 [Maybe, but... I don't think I could stand to see him miserable and pining when I could've stopped it] Mar 26 21:12:53 [No, I think seeing him grieve his relationship with Mina would be hard upon you] Mar 26 21:14:09 [Yes... that is exactly it I think] Mar 26 21:15:03 [I would save you from anything like that, anything that will make your own grief worse] Mar 26 21:15:34 [I know my love... I don't know if it'll be enough if it isn't me though] Mar 26 21:16:43 [You wish to do it yourself?] Mar 26 21:17:04 [I think its probably the only way it'll work] Mar 26 21:18:04 [If that is your wish, my love] Mar 26 21:18:15 [Not really, but I think it is what is required] Mar 26 21:18:53 [should we ride on without you?] Mar 26 21:20:22 [I want to give Alice a little more time. No point driving a wedge that can't be removed if I don't have to] Mar 26 21:22:18 [Alright my love. How are you finding the route?] Mar 26 21:23:06 [unpleasant] Mar 26 21:23:47 [I would ride with you if I could, if my closeness would help] Mar 26 21:24:09 [You're here, its enough my love] Mar 26 21:24:58 * MollyK smiles [I have no intention of being elsewhere] Mar 26 21:25:37 * Morgan sighs Mar 26 21:26:20 [Maybe he will be reasonable?] Mar 26 21:26:40 [I think we both know that is not going to be the case] Mar 26 21:27:09 [No] Mar 26 21:28:12 * MollyK checks the mirror when they take a quick comfort break an hour later when Varick is ready for his nap and Dekker has left them. She shakes her head. Mar 26 21:28:19 Still nothing. Mar 26 21:28:24 Shit Mar 26 21:28:45 * MollyK nods Mar 26 21:29:04 It's not ideal. I wonder what has kept her Mar 26 21:29:54 Maybe she hasn't been able to decide yet... Mar 26 21:31:04 Perhaps so... but the longer she takes to decide the higher the chance she will say yes Mar 26 21:31:18 * Morgan nods Mar 26 21:31:50 If I refuse to allow it, what damage will it do our Mar 26 21:31:56 our relationship with Alice and Florrie Mar 26 21:32:54 If she wants it and then you object? Mar 26 21:34:14 * Morgan nods Mar 26 21:35:31 It is tough to say. I do not know Alice that well, but I think that the bond Florrie has with you should be enough to make her keep contact Mar 26 21:35:50 * Morgan nods slowly Mar 26 21:36:28 Besides, their living situation is a very good one now Mar 26 21:36:59 but to them it is the difference between being good enough and being great... Mar 26 21:37:52 * MollyK nods Mar 26 21:38:28 Perhaps a few hours more will give you what you need from her? Mar 26 21:38:35 god I hope so Mar 26 21:42:04 * MollyK nods, climbing back up in the saddle. varick wants to ride with Morgan, and is soon asleep. Like watching that sad day in reverse, where they are now was where he had reached by the dusk, seeing the sun on his left laid low to the horizon, the end of the daylight, the end of the light in his life. Mar 26 21:42:43 * Morgan holds Varick a little tighter Mar 26 21:49:48 *he feels solid. The sun is not far past the zenith. Ahead of him, Molly is riding close beside Inga, talking quietly. HH is bringing up the rear, Claudia out front . Edward is ahead of Morgan, riding with his reins casually in one hand, a trick the young Edward mastered quite early, around the time they were still playing ambushes in the summer Mar 26 21:49:49 house, and had a shared pony called Regent. The same pony Jarvie had been married to. The long days of childhood before there were any wives to pick or conflicts aside from the usual sibling squabbles seem easy to find in his mind, better than the memories of shock and pain the route is inspiring. Mar 26 21:50:45 * Morgan watches his brother sadly Mar 26 21:53:25 *Varick sleeps quite some time, probably a blessing given the tedious journey for him. Even Molly and Inga seem to run out of things to say. He notices Molly stand up a little in the stirrups before sitting back down again* Mar 26 21:53:44 [Getting sore blossom?] Mar 26 21:54:19 [it is hard going on the bottom, isn't it?] Mar 26 21:55:04 [Aye. Fold your cloak under your backside] Mar 26 21:55:33 * MollyK does so up ahead Mar 26 21:56:23 [Should be a little better] Mar 26 21:56:40 [yes, a little better. I prefer rides that have pleasant breaks for trees and streams] Mar 26 21:57:40 [I would much rather have a cheerful ride Mar 26 21:58:56 [depending upon how long we are to stay in Sudlachenburg, perhaps we can have one on the way to Innesbruck or Koln] Mar 26 21:59:10 [Hopefully] Mar 26 22:03:50 ACTION checks the blank mirror when Varick awakens, and then again hours later when even HH and Molly are a bit bored of singing, the night drawing in. The last stretch will have to be done in the dark, but Dekker has supplied lanterns they get lit. He knows what is coming up, the little village of Bahnhof, where the three chimes of the clock that Mar 26 22:03:50 day had felt like a mourning bell, one for Dietlinde, one for Jana, and one for he himself. When they ride through, Varick with Inga, the bell starts to chime for five. Mar 26 22:04:59 * Morgan slumps in the saddle Mar 26 22:06:38 * MollyK moves closer to him, horse beside his, and offers her hand Mar 26 22:06:46 * Morgan takes it Mar 26 22:06:55 I am finding this difficult Mar 26 22:07:04 * MollyK holds it firmly Mar 26 22:07:45 It is understandable, my love. I am here for you, always. Mar 26 22:08:02 * Morgan nods, hanging his head Mar 26 22:09:53 Will you let me try to ease it? Mar 26 22:11:02 I feel that I shouldn't Mar 26 22:11:11 Why? Mar 26 22:16:13 It feels like I am lessening the importance of it... of them Mar 26 22:16:40 No. She wouldn't want this, and you know that. Mar 26 22:17:04 * Morgan sighs, nodding Mar 26 22:17:33 You will accept my help? Mar 26 22:17:46 * Morgan nods Mar 26 22:17:48 aye Mar 26 22:20:06 * MollyK concentrates, and his neck prickles. Like when the magic is out of control, it is in his body rather than his mind that he feels the effect. The physical sense pain is numbed just a little, his chest and throat less tight, his heart pounding less. He is still sad, but it no longer feels so overwhelming and encompassing Mar 26 22:20:41 * Morgan whispers Mar 26 22:20:42 thank you Mar 26 22:20:55 Anytime Mar 26 22:22:43 *They pass through the rest of the village without incident, and their horses behave well enough that she keeps her hand in his, watching the road ahead, as much as can be seen now just by lamp light. Another mile passes before she says "I should try with Edward first." Mar 26 22:25:59 how? Mar 26 22:27:22 Giving him tough love Mar 26 22:27:38 why? Mar 26 22:28:34 Because if he needs a bad guy in all of this, it can be me. Mar 26 22:28:50 * MollyK looks serious, but unafraid Mar 26 22:29:34 No... Mar 26 22:30:13 I have had one confrontation with him at Inga and Heinzharold's wedding, and I can do so again. Mar 26 22:30:44 I know you can... but you shouldn't have to. it is my responsibility Mar 26 22:31:16 If he can be won over without it damaging your relationship, is that not preferable? Mar 26 22:31:40 Not at the expense of yours Mar 26 22:32:50 My relationship with him is not as important. Is it not better for you and he to avoid a conflict _here_, on this route, given your unhappiness? Mar 26 22:34:01 I will manage Mar 26 22:34:19 * MollyK frowns a little Mar 26 22:35:10 I will submit to your wishes, but I do not like it. Mar 26 22:35:37 What were you planning to say? Mar 26 22:36:22 Whatever I need to Mar 26 22:39:52 * Morgan sighs Mar 26 22:40:01 I don't want you to Mar 26 22:40:41 * MollyK smiles slightly Mar 26 22:40:45 Nor I, you Mar 26 22:41:08 it is my responsibility Mar 26 22:42:54 It is your responsibility to protect our family. _All_ of it. Your relationship with Edward is important in the years to come. I will submit, if you command. Mar 26 22:43:08 * MollyK watches him Mar 26 22:45:20 If I must. Mar 26 22:46:33 * MollyK raises an eyebrow "Then I must also." Mar 26 22:48:57 * Morgan nods slightly Mar 26 22:51:21 *The route in the dark is harder to find links back to the day they died, but even in full light he wouldn't remember much of these miles closer to Sudlachenburg, the sheer senseless horror of it all, the pain in his knuckles, blood of both the murderer and the one responsible for it on his hands, his shirt cuffs. He had been stunned, too pained to Mar 26 22:51:21 even think. This dark, with a lamp in others hands, he can barely even make out Molly's expression beside hi Mar 26 22:51:43 Him. At some point their hands have stopped being joined Mar 26 22:52:27 * Morgan sighs, scowling in the darkness Mar 26 22:56:40 ACTION looks up at the stars before starting to sing for them. It is the one she and Inga sang at Inga and Heinzharolds wedding party, so they sing it together. Heinzharold asks them to sing it again as soon as they are finished, so they do. Other songs are sung to banish the dark night and their collective weariness. Once they get less than an Mar 26 22:56:40 hour from Die Dauerhaftigkeit, she checks the mirror again before shaking her head and slipping it back in a box in her pocket. Mar 26 22:56:50 Still nothing. I am sorry. Mar 26 22:57:11 * Morgan whispers Mar 26 22:57:12 damn Mar 26 22:58:42 Indeed. Do we ride on, or are you going to wait until we get home? Mar 26 22:59:17 What the hell has kept her Mar 26 22:59:52 She was going to Tawstock, perhaps they were running late? Mar 26 23:01:10 * Morgan nods Mar 26 23:01:19 give it half an hour, then I'll deal with it Mar 26 23:02:42 * MollyK nods, singing Taciturn from memory of the day he first played it for her and taught her to sing it Mar 26 23:03:44 * Morgan hums along with her Mar 26 23:05:09 * MollyK waits til she has finished before saying "sing it with me?" Mar 26 23:05:51 * Morgan looks in the direction of the others before taking a breath Mar 26 23:05:53 alright Mar 26 23:06:21 * MollyK sings again, taking the melody Mar 26 23:06:40 * Morgan sings the lead Mar 26 23:09:00 *they sound very good singing together, whether he can admit it to himself or not. Even in the very low light, he can just about make out the tiny sparkle of tears in her eyes. No one interrupts them* Mar 26 23:10:18 * MollyK whispers thank you when they are done Mar 26 23:10:31 You need not thank me Mar 26 23:11:19 HH: *he clears his throat* That was good, not 'eard him sing in years Mar 26 23:12:54 C: Should have heard him in Avebury! Made Molly cry. Mar 26 23:14:11 * Morgan mutters Mar 26 23:14:13 that bad Mar 26 23:14:28 * MollyK smiles, he can hear it in her tone "Yes he did, though I do cry quite easily in general. It was beautiful" Mar 26 23:15:00 I: Was that this song that made you cry? M: No, something different Mar 26 23:16:45 E: Very good, brother. We only have another two miles to go now. Mar 26 23:17:28 [Can you check one last time?] Mar 26 23:17:34 I: Would you sing the one that made Molly cry? Mar 26 23:17:50 Ah... it rather needs a guitar Mar 26 23:17:57 * MollyK pulls it out, then sighs Mar 26 23:18:08 [nothing] Mar 26 23:19:10 I: That's a shame. Another time though? Mar 26 23:19:47 * Morgan nods Mar 26 23:20:13 Edward... stop with me a moment Mar 26 23:20:36 C: We ride on? Mar 26 23:20:41 aye Mar 26 23:21:18 [I love you.] Mar 26 23:21:25 [and I you] Mar 26 23:21:36 * MollyK is now known as Edward Mar 26 23:23:07 * Edward reins in his horse, keeping his lantern whilst HH and Claudia have the other two. The others ride on, now into the woodland that belongs to their ancestors Mar 26 23:24:30 They should be safe enough. What is the problem? *he hasn't dismounted * Mar 26 23:25:08 Your old commander was asking me what was going on Mar 26 23:25:32 * Edward nods, patting his tired horse's neck Mar 26 23:25:50 He knows something is amiss Mar 26 23:26:11 Indeed. You would not tell him... Mar 26 23:26:52 No. He does not need to know until I have done my duty. Mar 26 23:27:17 You didn't tell him because you thought he would tell you you are wrong... Mar 26 23:28:15 No, because I have made a mistake and I would rectify it before I tell everyone Mar 26 23:29:04 He was telling me about his sons... about how they'd happily get into trouble if only to prove they aren't like eachother... Mar 26 23:29:16 * Edward nods Mar 26 23:29:29 They are very different boyd Mar 26 23:30:01 As are we... are you following this course to prove you are not like me? Would not make the same choices I did? Mar 26 23:30:20 * Edward watches him Mar 26 23:30:51 This is not about you. This is about me. My choices, my responsibilities. Mar 26 23:30:58 * Edward sounds irritated Mar 26 23:32:43 * Morgan watches him Mar 26 23:33:05 * Edward gets down from the saddle, looping his reins over a branch before stretching Mar 26 23:33:24 * Morgan climbs down slowly, doing the same with his horse Mar 26 23:34:41 Dekker would suggest the same thing... Mar 26 23:34:57 I am not like you. There are rules, and I will uphold them. It is right, and it is who I am. Mar 26 23:35:22 You're being a martyr Mar 26 23:36:10 I am being a man of honour. Mar 26 23:36:57 And in a years time, when it isn't working with Alice and you're pining to death for Mina... Mar 26 23:37:33 I cannot give up everything I am because my heart is with a woman my duty keeps me from. Mar 26 23:38:33 No-one is asking for that. Acknowledge Florrie, support them... that satisfies protocol Mar 26 23:39:20 You marry a noblewoman if you get her with child. That is the rules, it is right, and it is what honour dictates Mar 26 23:40:04 And your view will not change when Mina grieves for what you promised her? Eventually marries another man, one whom she probably will not love... Mar 26 23:40:19 * Edward grinds his teeth Mar 26 23:40:54 She will appreciate that I am bound by my principles and our way of life! Mar 26 23:41:41 bullshit... those principles you cling to so desperately are nothing but something you hide behind. Mar 26 23:41:51 I do not expect you to understand! Mar 26 23:42:11 Because we are so different... Mar 26 23:42:48 Because it would give you not even a moments hesitation to act for your heart. Mar 26 23:45:12 Alright... Then carry on... marry a woman who doesn't want you, bring shame to our name _again_, ruin Mina's chances of ever being happy, or even being viewed as suitable for anyone better than the likes of Maubourg. Mar 26 23:45:39 * Edward shoved him, hard Mar 26 23:45:51 You think any of this is for me?! Mar 26 23:47:30 Of course it is... you know what you could do that would be acceptable, but you _insist_ on breaking Mina's heart, wrecking our friendship with Eisenfurst Fischler, breaking off an engagement that the Eisenfurst was due to be a guest at, publicly. Mar 26 23:49:04 I HAVE A CHILD! I HAVE TO DO RIGHT BY HER, EVEN IF IT COSTS ME _EVERYTHING_ I YEARN FOR! Mar 26 23:51:00 You have to do right by her... love her, support her, strive for a world better than the one we stand in... and that happens by costing your family everything? Mar 26 23:52:45 I SACRIFICE YET AGAIN FOR EVERYONE ELSE! I DIDNT ASK FOR ANY OF THIS! YOU KNOW THE RULES! I ONLY HOPE YOU NEVER HAVE THE HORROR OF DISCOVERING A CHILD YOU DID NOT KNOW OF, AND HAVING IT RIP YOUR WORLD APART Mar 26 23:53:01 * Morgan whispers Mar 26 23:53:07 don't make me go there, please Mar 26 23:53:55 I don't know what you are talking about. *Edward forced himself to take a step back* Mar 26 23:54:24 * Morgan rolls his neck Mar 26 23:55:18 You arne't sacrificing... you're ripping the future from others and hiding behind a facade of woe is me, I'm acting with honour Mar 26 23:55:41 You're wanting me to choose what you would. Mar 26 23:56:52 Of course I am, and in this instance, its the right thing to do. You have a way to settle it all, have a relationship, do right by your daughter, without ruining Mina's future, Sudlachenburgs future, Grabens future. Mar 26 23:57:19 By not marrying the mother of my child! Mar 26 23:58:58 Fine. Go ahead. Be a hypocrite. Mar 26 23:59:17 * Edward grinds his teeth, fists balling.