**** BEGIN LOGGING AT Fri Mar 18 11:19:54 2022 Mar 18 11:19:54 * Morgan has quit (Quit: Leaving) Mar 18 12:04:03 * Morgan (~mads@news-iMac.lan) has joined Mar 18 13:03:35 * MollyK (~igloo@CrystabllesiPad.lan) has joined Mar 18 13:04:49 **Not having her touching him or singing makes it hard to sleep but eventually he does. He starts to dream, into the thread after telling his parents he'd married Dietlinde, similar to reality but worse. **Three days have passed since he and Dietlinde had wed. They are still making their cottage into a home, but he's happy when he watches her sew Mar 18 13:04:49 curtains for the window and sweep the floors. They did have dinner with Sascha and Otto, but no word has come from Die Dauerhaftigkeit at all. It niggles at him, but he won't burden Dietlinde with it, reassuring her that his parents will come around** Mar 18 13:04:49 **She had believed him enough to swallow down nerves at going to the Shadowfayre where the gossip may have spread. She had looked so pretty in pale blue, and he'd felt proud beside her as the coronation of this year's king and queen was done. Mar 18 13:05:24 **But still his family had avoided him. He was glad Edward wasn't there. But by the evening festivities in the back garden he had so often played in, he spots his brother whilst Dietlinde is dancing with HH. In reality, Edward had not returned to Sudlachenburg for several months, though gossip that Adalbrecht had left the Grafdom on urgent Mar 18 13:05:24 business had made Morgan assume Edward was being told in person. No confrontation had been had. Mar 18 13:05:24 *Edward is making a beeline for him. At seventeen his military service has made him grow up fast, as Morgan had to, and hundreds of thousands of other young Eisenmen did. He is still a bit gangly, too thin for his frame and height, but what width he has looks to be muscle. He looks pretty angry. Mar 18 13:05:34 * MollyK is now known as Edward Mar 18 13:08:50 Edward Mar 18 13:09:21 Shall we take this inside? Mar 18 13:09:47 very well Mar 18 13:11:03 * Edward stalks up the steps towards the banquet hall. No one interrupts, but Morgan sees both HH and Claudia watching him as he ascends Mar 18 13:12:38 * Morgan follows him Mar 18 13:14:05 *inside the banquet hall is empty, all the food for the Shadowfayre out in the back garden as it isn't raining or snowy this year. There's a few lit sconces. Edward looks at Morgan Mar 18 13:14:18 What the fuck, Morgan?! Mar 18 13:15:24 * Morgan sighs Mar 18 13:18:26 * Edward stays eight feet from him. They are much the same height, colouring similar though Edward's hair is darker and his eyes are gray like their Father's, not blue. Mar 18 13:19:19 What have you done?! Do you not understand the position you have put us in? Mar 18 13:20:05 * Morgan rubs his face, looking tired and upset Mar 18 13:21:01 * Edward runs a hand through his hair, and looks off-kilter for his anger not to be met with similar Mar 18 13:22:32 Look, I get it. You've been at War for years, now it's over and you want to build something. I understand that. Mar 18 13:25:34 I love her, Edward. I have done since the moment I saw her. Mar 18 13:25:59 But that is not enough, not when she is not noble-born. Mar 18 13:27:37 What I have done will not be undone... I understand there will be consequences now. Mar 18 13:27:57 But do you understand what those consequences are? Mar 18 13:28:10 * Morgan looks away Mar 18 13:28:14 I have lost my family Mar 18 13:28:41 You could lose us _Sudlachenburg_. Mar 18 13:30:23 You must distance yourself from me, make it known you do not support what I have done and I have been stripped of my title. Mar 18 13:30:46 You don't spend enough time at Court. It is not that simple. You don't understand the savagery that could be unleashed upon our homeland because you have broken all the rules. Mar 18 13:32:43 What do you want of me, Edward? Mar 18 13:34:14 To undo this. I understand love at first sight, I am in that position also, that is why I returned. I know Father has always been against keeping mistresses, but I will stand at your side with him and together we will make him see sense Mar 18 13:35:09 Can you imagine the hurt that would cause her? Not just now but long term... Mar 18 13:36:26 You would not chose a stupid woman, so I imagine she will see the sense. It is not as if you are breaking a well-known public bethrothal at the last minute and destroying her reputation Mar 18 13:37:29 No, I'm just telling her she is not good enough for me to be married to her... that she'd have to see me marry another, while proclaiming my love for her Mar 18 13:38:59 No, you are telling her that to protect Sudlachenburg, and her, from annexation and harm, you need to undo what has been done, continue to love and treasure her, and in time have a duty marriage to create noble heirs to run the Grafdom Mar 18 13:40:11 and what happens if I refuse... or she does? Mar 18 13:41:00 Then you put all of us at risk, and I must set aside my own ambitions to be suitably wed to a noblewoman. Mar 18 13:43:53 You understand the position you put me in? Mar 18 13:46:26 It is little different than the situation you have put the rest of us in. There is duty and honour, and they must come above our personal wants. Generations of Koertig men have had to take appropriate wives to ensure the continuation of the line and the safety of Sudlachenburg. Our grandfather is one of the, Mar 18 13:46:34 Was one of them* Mar 18 13:47:43 I will talk to her... and then I will have to change my name, because I won't have my honour anymore Mar 18 13:48:56 Only a handful of people know. We can spin it as some misunderstanding. A priest who can be bribed can be bribed again. I will pay for that myself if you need it. There were no witnesses. Mar 18 13:50:05 * Morgan shrugs, looking distraught Mar 18 13:50:16 I'll know Mar 18 13:50:50 You will be acting with honour by protecting the hundreds of people in Sudlachenburg you were born to rule. Mar 18 13:51:10 No, I'll be doing my duty... my honour is nothing but shreds Mar 18 13:52:32 Then think of Mother, and the peace of mind it will give her. She is hurt, and she is unhappy at being so divided from you. Mar 18 13:54:52 * Morgan sighs, wiping at his eyes Mar 18 13:56:23 * Edward runs his hand through his hair Mar 18 13:56:34 This is not how I was expecting this to go Mar 18 13:57:10 You expected a fight Mar 18 13:57:26 * Edward nods Mar 18 13:58:57 I was expecting you to scream at me about minding my business, about how the rules of the nobility were flawed and you wouldn't follow them, just like you did not follow that fool Kaufmann Mar 18 13:59:27 Maybe I've always been wrong... maybe I just have no fight left Mar 18 14:03:26 It's bad luck her not being noble. You should understand, it is nothing personal. From everything I have heard of her, she seems decent and kind. Mar 18 14:06:15 * Morgan shrugs looking utterly defeated Mar 18 14:07:23 What do you want? How did you see this ending up? Mar 18 14:08:56 it doesn't matter now Mar 18 14:09:28 * Edward nods Mar 18 14:09:58 Nothing has to change about your day to day situation, we will smooth that with Father Mar 18 14:10:48 * Morgan shrugs slightly, speaking quietly Mar 18 14:11:14 She will never forgive me... and I will never forgive myself. Mar 18 14:12:03 * Edward looks conciliatory Mar 18 14:13:47 No doubt you acted with the best of will. You will reconcile with Mother and Father, and you and Dietlinde can have a happy, loving relationship with some children. Noblemen do it all the time, to balance love and duty. Mar 18 14:14:39 * Morgan shrugs, moving towards the door slowly Mar 18 14:14:58 My will or intent doesn't matter. None of it does anymore. Mar 18 14:16:03 * Edward runs his forehead "Come on, you don't need to be so damned defeatist." Mar 18 14:16:37 * Morgan looks over his shoulder Mar 18 14:17:26 but thats what I am, Edward. Defeated. Utterly. I hope one day you understand what this is costing me, but I pray you never experience it. Mar 18 14:19:21 I have spent the last five hours convinced I am going to have to give up the woman of my dreams entirely, never even speak to her in public again, to save her from the damage this will do, so believe me, I know. Mar 18 14:20:06 Then you understand half of it. Whatever comes in the future, I have lost my family. Excuse me... Mar 18 14:20:26 No you haven't. Stop being such an ass. Mar 18 14:20:40 leave me alone Edward, please Mar 18 14:21:25 No. I won't. I won't let you leave here thinking you can't fix this with our parents when you can! Mar 18 14:22:13 * Morgan moves towards the door again Mar 18 14:23:10 * Edward moves, grabbing his arm. Edward's strength has obviously improved from their last physical tussle before Edward went into the army Mar 18 14:23:16 Morgan, stop. Mar 18 14:23:49 * Morgan speaks very quietly Mar 18 14:24:03 please, Edward... you've got what you wanted... let me go Mar 18 14:27:03 No. I didn't lose men on the battlefield who felt like brothers to me only to come home and lose my actual brother. *he wraps his arms around Morgan, the waver in his voice at the recollection of the deaths of his friends implying that some of this is for his own benefit, and the fact that he is just a lad of seventeen dealing with a huge family Mar 18 14:27:03 conflict seems more obvious than before* Mar 18 14:27:52 * Morgan just stands there Mar 18 14:28:14 * Edward sighs, letting go Mar 18 14:29:45 Fine. Mar 18 14:31:37 * Morgan walks out into the garden Mar 18 14:33:10 *He sees Dietlinde and Heinzharold still dancing, a lively polka with all the spinning around, a dance he has never liked Mar 18 14:33:42 * Morgan frowns briefly before walking off towards the Sudlache Mar 18 14:35:10 *The glow of it is pretty as well as eerie, and there is a small boat with oars just sat there waiting for a rower* Mar 18 14:36:33 * Morgan looks at it for a minute before taking his boots off and wading into the water up to his knees Mar 18 14:37:44 *the water is cold, gently lapping at his skin, pulling slightly at him Mar 18 14:38:07 * Morgan stands there, just staring out at the water Mar 18 14:38:35 *beneath the surface, something brushes at his shin Mar 18 14:38:48 * Morgan looks down Mar 18 14:39:15 *it is too dark to see anything. It brushes at his other shin Mar 18 14:39:27 * Morgan kicks at it gently Mar 18 14:40:03 *whatever it is seems to clamp tight, as if his legs were bound together Mar 18 14:40:48 * Morgan stares down at the water, speaking through gritted teeth Mar 18 14:40:53 Do your fucking worst Mar 18 14:41:43 *he feels yanked suddenly by the legs, and dragged out further into the lake Mar 18 14:42:33 * Morgan struggles against it, drawing a dagger Mar 18 14:43:13 *he feels pin in his left earlobe Mar 18 14:43:18 Pain* Mar 18 14:43:37 * Morgan pulls at it Mar 18 14:43:53 * Edward is now known as Molly Mar 18 14:44:48 Shhhh, liebes herz, it's alright *she lets go. The bed sheets are wrapped around his legs, and she is knelt on the floor in the pitch black by his bunk* Mar 18 14:46:04 * Morgan rubs his face, breathing heavily Mar 18 14:46:53 * Molly strokes his hair, still whispering "I'm here, my love" Mar 18 14:47:22 * Morgan buries his face into his pillow and starts weeping Mar 18 14:49:29 *Molly continues to stroke his hair* Let me hold you, my love. You do not need to feel this alone Mar 18 14:50:18 * Morgan shuffles over Mar 18 14:52:35 * Molly climbs onto the tiny bed, opening her arms to him Mar 18 14:52:48 * Morgan rolls to her, pressing his face against her Mar 18 14:54:30 * Molly as usual smells faintly of rose water and the warmth of sleep, but more than anything she just of her. She resumes stroking his hair "It's alright, I have you" Mar 18 14:55:36 * Morgan nods as he cries against her Mar 18 14:57:07 *She continues to hold him, making quiet soothing sounds on occasion, but mostly she stays quiet, her hand gently caressing the back of his head Mar 18 14:58:10 * Morgan eventually stops Mar 18 15:00:54 * Molly kisses his forehead softly, whispering again in the darkness "do you need to go?" Mar 18 15:02:07 Not yet Mar 18 15:02:52 * Molly nods, lying close "alright my love" Mar 18 15:03:17 * Morgan tries to get an idea of the time Mar 18 15:04:00 *it is around five* Mar 18 15:04:34 Alright.... I'm going to get up Mar 18 15:06:00 * Molly gets out of the bed very quietly so as not to disturb Varick Mar 18 15:06:58 * Morgan rolls out, quietly pulling his clothes on before pulling her to him and kissing her forehead Mar 18 15:07:13 I'm sorry, I know how difficult being near me can be Mar 18 15:08:46 * Molly puts her hands on his cheeks, and though there is not light to see by he knows she will be looking at him intensely regardless [I would have you never think that. I am bless to be near you, every single moment] Mar 18 15:09:09 * Morgan nods slightly Mar 18 15:09:17 [I'll see you a while] Mar 18 15:09:56 * Molly gently lets go [I will be right here if you need me] Mar 18 15:10:38 * Morgan nods, picking ups his sword belt quietly and heading out into the corridor before heading up on deck Mar 18 15:11:46 *he passes no one, but on the deck he can sense he is not alone. There is a little more light up here than below deck* Mar 18 15:12:18 * Morgan slowly scans the deck Mar 18 15:12:55 *there is a figure sat on a bench right in the middle, far from port, starboard or the prow* Mar 18 15:13:50 * Morgan approaches quietly, stopping about ten feet away Mar 18 15:15:05 *Edwards eyes have adjusted better, because he says* Good morning, brother. Mar 18 15:16:23 Edward... You are up early Mar 18 15:17:49 This is the only time I find being above deck bearable Mar 18 15:18:07 * Molly is now known as Edward Mar 18 15:18:17 You wish me to leave you alone? Mar 18 15:19:10 No, just not too close please Mar 18 15:19:49 I'll try not to be too offended Mar 18 15:20:12 It makes me on edge and dizzy Mar 18 15:20:39 I understand, don't worry Mar 18 15:21:24 This is early for you too Mar 18 15:22:43 A little, though I'm normally up for sunrise... I had nightmares Mar 18 15:26:32 * Edward has quit (Read error: EOF from client) Mar 18 15:45:51 * MollyK (~igloo@CrystabllesiPad.lan) has joined Mar 18 15:45:55 I should ask Mother for the nightmare trap if I were you Mar 18 15:46:01 * MollyK is now known as Edward Mar 18 15:47:52 * Morgan shakes his head Mar 18 15:48:07 Its... a penance I suppose Mar 18 15:49:27 For? Mar 18 15:49:56 My varied wrongdoings Mar 18 15:51:53 The Skomi tribe say nightmares can be their Gods talking to them. Mar 18 15:53:08 An interesting viewpoint Mar 18 15:54:55 * Edward has quit (Read error: EOF from client) Mar 18 17:35:24 * MollyK (~igloo@CrystabllesiPad.lan) has joined Mar 18 17:35:34 * MollyK is now known as Edward Mar 18 17:36:01 You are struggling with them as before? Mar 18 17:39:49 * Edward has quit (Read error: Connection reset by peer) Mar 18 17:59:10 * MollyK (~igloo@CrystabllesiPad.lan) has joined Mar 18 17:59:16 [17:27:59] Edward: You are struggling with them as before? Mar 18 17:59:22 * MollyK is now known as Edward Mar 18 17:59:52 Its a bit different now Mar 18 18:01:19 Why is that? The sooner as they make ships one can smoke a cigar on the better *there's the rustling sound of fabric* Mar 18 18:03:12 you _could_, it'd just be the last thing you do I suspect Mar 18 18:04:30 * Edward drinks from his flask before lightly screwing the lid Mar 18 18:04:34 Drambuie? Mar 18 18:04:46 please Mar 18 18:05:28 * Edward moves it just a little to make the moonlight glint off it so Morgan can see it Mar 18 18:06:01 * Morgan gets close enough to take it before retreating again, sipping it and repeating the action to hand it back Mar 18 18:06:15 *it still tastes of scotch, honey, and Molly's skin to him* Mar 18 18:06:23 * Edward takes it back Mar 18 18:06:47 What has changed? Mar 18 18:07:45 Doesn't seem to be so much what happened... more what could have now... Mar 18 18:08:25 You dream of them living instead... Mar 18 18:10:40 Sometimes... sometimes we were exiled... sometimes Jana survived... last night was... before... I'd been all but cut off, I think father brought you back to reason with me Mar 18 18:15:02 I see. That was unlikely Mar 18 18:16:41 It wasn't like how it was... it was worse... I had no contact with mother or father, literally, excluded from everything. By the time you spoke to me I was... broken. Mar 18 18:17:49 It sounds like an unpleasant nightmare Mar 18 18:18:25 I failed my family... I failed my wife... I failed my people... I had no fight left in me. Mar 18 18:19:08 * Edward opens the flask again Mar 18 18:19:27 There's no point hauling yourself over the coals anymore Mar 18 18:19:41 Its not something I can control Mar 18 18:20:41 You are on track with your family and your people now. No doubt Sudlachenburg and Gottkirchen will flourish under you. Mar 18 18:21:21 The feelings from my nightmares fade... I'll be alright in a while... but some things stick with me Mar 18 18:21:45 What things? *he drinks before offering it again* Mar 18 18:26:09 No, thank you... I'll tell you in a while, once we're below deck Mar 18 18:26:19 * Edward nods Mar 18 18:26:53 I will go below soon, before anyone else comes up Mar 18 18:27:52 * Morgan nods Mar 18 18:28:19 I won't let any harm come to you Mar 18 18:29:02 I know. Did you read the letter. Mar 18 18:29:21 Yes, I did Mar 18 18:29:40 Will it work? Mar 18 18:29:55 work? Mar 18 18:33:20 Persuade her to my view Mar 18 18:34:45 I don't believe so, in all honesty Mar 18 18:36:07 * Edward nods, sipping from the flask Mar 18 18:37:48 You will get the most important thing, though Mar 18 18:38:49 I know. Mar 18 18:41:42 * Edward sits quietly for about ten more minutes before standing up "I'm going below. I will see you later" Mar 18 18:42:23 Alright Mar 18 18:44:05 *Morgan is alone for quite a while until nearer dawn Claudia finds him* Morning Mar 18 18:44:11 * Edward is now known as Claudia Mar 18 18:44:29 mornin Mar 18 18:47:07 How are you? Mar 18 18:47:31 * Morgan shrugs Mar 18 18:47:33 rough night Mar 18 18:47:34 you? Mar 18 18:48:32 I'm fine Mar 18 18:49:01 * Morgan nods Mar 18 18:50:22 Insomnia or nightmares? Mar 18 18:50:59 nightmare Mar 18 18:51:30 Wanna talk? Mar 18 18:52:15 Its a lot Mar 18 18:53:32 Damn, I was about to go for a long walk(!) Mar 18 18:54:02 There's no monsters... Mar 18 18:54:11 Where? Mar 18 18:55:30 in my nightmare, so it might not be to your tastes... Mar 18 18:56:32 I have spent twenty hours on this ferry and shouted at no men. I could do with something to do Mar 18 18:57:52 * Morgan shrugs Mar 18 18:57:53 alright Mar 18 18:58:13 * Morgan tells her about the previous nightmares in this line before telling her last nights Mar 18 18:59:41 Wow, that's really torturing yourself Mar 18 19:00:08 * Morgan nods Mar 18 19:02:02 What was with going in the Sudlache at the end? Mar 18 19:03:22 I... I feel more centred when I'm on the water... though when it grabbed me it did sort of occur to me that it solves both issues Mar 18 19:05:51 Which two? Mar 18 19:06:20 having to talk to Dietlinde... Letting down my family... Mar 18 19:07:12 * Claudia nods Mar 18 19:08:18 But can you imagine how upset _Heinzharold_ would have been? Mar 18 19:08:31 * Morgan nods Mar 18 19:10:02 Dietlinde would have been more devastated with you gone than having to relabel the relationship Mar 18 19:10:20 Logically thinking, you're probably right Mar 18 19:12:11 * Claudia nods Mar 18 19:12:35 That's all it would have been, just a label. Mar 18 19:13:01 I think your view on that would be different to hers Mar 18 19:13:30 You must have had a discussion about it all before you did it though? Mar 18 19:13:55 * Morgan shrugs Mar 18 19:13:57 not really Mar 18 19:15:20 I always assumed you'd both spent some weeks planning it out Mar 18 19:16:41 * Morgan shakes his head Mar 18 19:17:08 Little bits here and there but... it was decided, there wasn't another way to me... Mar 18 19:17:45 * Claudia nods Mar 18 19:17:54 Religion, and all that? Mar 18 19:18:19 All that... not so much religion Mar 18 19:19:47 You don't regret it now though Mar 18 19:20:16 Until the fire it wasn't as bad as that Mar 18 19:23:13 * Claudia nods Mar 18 19:23:24 That sounds worse than reality Mar 18 19:23:33 * Morgan nods Mar 18 19:25:35 It didn't happen, so you can put it behind you Mar 18 19:25:57 * Morgan nods Mar 18 19:26:05 just need to shake off the lingering feeling Mar 18 19:26:47 Anything I can do? Mar 18 19:26:56 * Morgan shakes his head Mar 18 19:27:05 No, I just need to wait it out Mar 18 19:28:11 * Claudia nods Mar 18 19:28:31 Guess I'll wait with you then Mar 18 19:28:51 You don't have to if you don't want to Mar 18 19:29:12 I do want to. Mar 18 19:29:53 * Morgan nods Mar 18 19:29:56 I'm grateful Mar 18 19:32:07 * Claudia stays with him right through dawn, by which other passengers have come up on deck, and the ship is awake. An announcement from the captain alerts them that they are expected to arrive in Baden, where Morgan has a letter to deliver from the ghost of one of the soldiers at Dietmund to a woman, at ten o'clock. That is two hours away. Mar 18 19:33:22 * Morgan mutters Mar 18 19:33:27 bloody unnatural, moving at night Mar 18 19:34:18 * Claudia nods Mar 18 19:34:47 Feels dangerous, though I've never heard of a problem Mar 18 19:35:26 thats because we're _proper_ sailors Mar 18 19:36:46 * Claudia nods Mar 18 19:37:11 Sorgi will have the Rose out of Freiburg by now Mar 18 19:37:20 * Morgan nods Mar 18 19:39:28 Couple of days of riding now. We can taken Mar 18 19:40:26 Take a coach to Hafenlohr, but if we're going the older route through Bahnhof to Sudlachenburg we will have to ride Mar 18 19:40:58 We're going the most direct route... Mar 18 19:41:02 * Morgan looks at her seriously Mar 18 19:41:09 Its the one I took after the fire... Mar 18 19:41:54 * Claudia nods "Bahnhof then. You gonna be okay?" Mar 18 19:43:01 I'll have to be Mar 18 19:44:44 It's going to be a long day. Looking at ten hours travel easy, even eating in the saddle Mar 18 19:45:28 * Morgan nods Mar 18 19:47:16 Today will be okay to Hafenlohr, but early nights all round. It can be a bit rough for bandits on that route tomorrow too. You not done that route since? (if he has, it would have been last winter) Mar 18 19:47:39 No... I avoided it when I came back Mar 18 19:49:09 * Claudia nods Mar 18 19:49:18 Got your balm? Mar 18 19:49:27 * Morgan nods Mar 18 19:49:28 always Mar 18 19:49:39 Maybe that will help Mar 18 19:49:52 we can but hope Mar 18 19:50:21 You gonna want to be off riding alone, or staying close to Molly and Varick? Mar 18 19:50:52 We'll play it by ear... I suspect we'll take turns Mar 18 19:51:02 * Claudia nods Mar 18 19:51:22 You need to stop to see Maubourg today? Mar 18 19:51:35 * Morgan nods Mar 18 19:51:40 and deliver a letter in Baden Mar 18 19:52:23 * Claudia nods Mar 18 19:52:55 Keep you busy and keep your mind off the nightmares? Mar 18 19:53:05 Probably Mar 18 19:54:56 * Claudia nods, stretching Mar 18 19:55:29 Maybe we'll squeeze in some training at Hafenlohr, if they have the right sort of space Mar 18 19:56:36 We'll find the right sort of space Mar 18 19:57:20 * Claudia nods Mar 18 19:57:38 Need to stay better than Heinzharold Mar 18 19:58:18 * Morgan nods Mar 18 19:58:19 indeed Mar 18 20:00:31 *Heinzharold finds them two minutes later, barging into Morgan whilst grabbing him at the same time* saved yer life! Mar 18 20:01:09 It'd be a shame if you had an accident while asleep where you accidentally get strung up by your toes... Mar 18 20:01:50 HH: you'd never lift me Mar 18 20:02:21 me? No, no, it'd be an _accidental_ hanging... Mar 18 20:02:35 Those sort of things happen all the time in peoples sleep Mar 18 20:04:40 HH: never been hung in my sleep. Mar 18 20:05:00 according to your wife you aren't hung when you're awake either Mar 18 20:05:15 * Claudia cackles at this Mar 18 20:06:05 HH: Dunno man, when they compare us with their fingers, my wife has to use both hands Mar 18 20:07:03 Thats when they're talking about ego's Mar 18 20:09:25 HH flips him off: what we doin' up here then? Mar 18 20:09:58 Talking about how unnatural to be on a boat moving at night Mar 18 20:10:58 HH: Was the first time, done it quite a few now Mar 18 20:12:49 * Morgan nods Mar 18 20:14:22 HH: I had a dream Mar 18 20:14:42 oh? Mar 18 20:16:21 HH: We got a chicken from the Nibelungen Mar 18 20:16:50 * Morgan rolls his eyes Mar 18 20:16:56 suggestible aren't you? Mar 18 20:17:24 * Claudia is now known as HH Mar 18 20:18:03 Was a bit different. We were fighting about the eggs, Inga was shouting at us both to be kind t' each other Mar 18 20:18:36 * Morgan nods Mar 18 20:19:48 Then Molly came out with yer axe, and chopped th' chicken's head off Mar 18 20:19:59 C: *she laughs* Mar 18 20:20:15 farm girl... Mar 18 20:22:08 * HH nods Mar 18 20:22:18 Then they made us pie. It was all good. Mar 18 20:22:48 * Morgan nods Mar 18 20:22:53 C: This is where you are going wrong, Morgan. You need to dream of armed women and hot food. Mar 18 20:24:05 Like the pair of you do? Mar 18 20:24:41 *Claudia grins* Sometimes Mar 18 20:25:23 Now I'm gonna dream of Claudia, armed women an' hot food. Thanks (!) Mar 18 20:25:34 * Morgan snorts Mar 18 20:25:56 Right, I'm going to go speak to Edward, then my wife and then... I'm going to see if I can rustle up some coffee Mar 18 20:27:09 * HH nods Mar 18 20:27:27 She was getting dressed last I saw Mar 18 20:27:39 * Morgan looks at him Mar 18 20:27:41 beg pardon? Mar 18 20:28:14 What? Mar 18 20:29:34 What do you mean getting dressed last you _saw_? Mar 18 20:30:13 I saw Varick comin' in to Inga saying Molly was getting dressed Mar 18 20:30:58 * Morgan nods Mar 18 20:31:09 good.... would hate to have to headbutt you... Mar 18 20:32:11 Wouldn't be my fault if it was by accident! Mar 18 20:32:50 * Morgan smiles slightly before heading off to find Edward Mar 18 20:33:34 * HH is now known as Edward Mar 18 20:33:46 * Edward is in his cabin Mar 18 20:33:53 * Morgan knocks Mar 18 20:33:59 Come Mar 18 20:34:09 * Morgan enters, closing the door behind him Mar 18 20:35:25 * Edward is shaving, naked to the waist. He has definitely filled out from the borderline gauntness of August. The shoulder wound is slightly better too Mar 18 20:36:58 We'll be landing at about ten Mar 18 20:37:29 * Edward nods Mar 18 20:37:34 About usual Mar 18 20:38:24 * Morgan nods Mar 18 20:38:48 I wanted to finish our conversation but... not while you're shaving... Mar 18 20:39:21 Two minutes and I will be finished Mar 18 20:39:38 * Morgan nods, leaning against the door Mar 18 20:41:39 * Edward finishes up, washing his face before putting on a cologne that is new Mar 18 20:42:45 I'm ready *he starts pulling on his shirt* Mar 18 20:43:55 The thing from last nights nightmare that has really stuck with me... Mar 18 20:44:54 Yes? Mar 18 20:46:18 * Morgan steps closer to him so they're face to face Mar 18 20:46:49 * Edward doesn't back away Mar 18 20:46:56 I never realised or... understood the danger to our home or the terrible burden I put upon you all... I am so terribly sorry Mar 18 20:47:49 * Edward shakes his head Mar 18 20:49:02 I didn't understand that it was naivety rather than arrogance that drove it Mar 18 20:49:21 * Morgan nods slightly Mar 18 20:49:27 You will forgive me? Mar 18 20:49:55 I forgave you months ago. Mar 18 20:50:14 perhaps but... I understand it better now... Mar 18 20:50:43 * Edward opens his arms Mar 18 20:50:53 * Morgan moves forward, hugging him tightly Mar 18 20:51:13 * Edward hugs him back Mar 18 20:52:14 I understand more now too, about how much the duty can hurt when you want something else Mar 18 20:53:10 * Morgan nods, letting go Mar 18 20:54:25 I won't ask you to forgive me. Your naivety is excusable, but what I did, that was not. Mar 18 20:54:50 You remember when I told Mina that I had forgiven you? Mar 18 20:56:15 Yes I do Mar 18 20:57:16 I meant it... I meant it then, and I mean it now. Mar 18 20:57:48 * Edward nods Mar 18 20:57:59 I do not deserve it, but thank you. Mar 18 20:59:16 Again... that is not your choice to make. Mar 18 21:00:57 * Edward nods Mar 18 21:02:08 Is that why you want Mina and I together? That at least something of value can come from all of this? Mar 18 21:04:53 After everything, what sort of hypocrite would I be if I only fought for my own love... if I try to have it withheld to those I was angry with at the time... Mar 18 21:06:13 And what sort of hypocrite would I be when I have damned my soul for the noble code of honour only to break them when it doesn't suit? Mar 18 21:07:03 But you aren't breaking them... you are doing what you believe to be the honourable thing, aren't you? Mar 18 21:07:23 Yes, and that is why I must. Mar 18 21:08:30 I have not given up hope... Mar 18 21:08:58 I have a favour to ask Mar 18 21:09:26 go on... Mar 18 21:10:30 You and Molly do not cut Mina off. Be her friend, stay in touch, look out for her as you would had she become your sister? *he looks a little upset by it* Mar 18 21:11:16 If it comes to it, and she will allow it... of course Mar 18 21:11:34 She will. She cares greatly for you both Mar 18 21:12:02 * Morgan nods Mar 18 21:12:14 the feeling is mutual... but as I said, I have not given up hope Mar 18 21:12:41 * Edward smiles faintly Mar 18 21:13:01 Thank you. You hope I am soundly rejected. Mar 18 21:13:23 With the greatest of love, my brother, I hope she turns you down flat Mar 18 21:14:04 I would understand if she did. I am not much of a catch if Father cuts me off Mar 18 21:14:40 He won't Mar 18 21:15:23 He is still angry about my previous transgressions Mar 18 21:15:42 * Morgan nods Mar 18 21:15:48 I've no doubt... Mar 18 21:16:43 You worry how you have disappointed him, I am more of a failure to him than you ever could be... Mar 18 21:17:18 He understands you better... did you know that? Mar 18 21:17:41 He thinks he does. Mar 18 21:18:02 He's right... you and he are... quite alike in many many ways Mar 18 21:18:39 Should I be pleased or offended? Mar 18 21:18:50 * Morgan smiles slightly Mar 18 21:18:51 yes Mar 18 21:18:57 * Edward laughs Mar 18 21:19:38 He won't understand me in this, because he is so puritanical about swiving women Mar 18 21:19:51 * Morgan shrugs Mar 18 21:19:58 Circumstance... Mar 18 21:20:33 Now I am wondering if he was more right than I Mar 18 21:21:08 About 'swiving'? Mar 18 21:21:14 Yes Mar 18 21:22:07 If things had been different, I don't think this would've come about... I imagine you were in a very dark place in yourself at the time... Mar 18 21:22:30 I was. Mar 18 21:23:04 He has not suffered the same way, so he would not understand it.... thats why you're different about it Mar 18 21:23:15 * Edward shakes his head Mar 18 21:25:20 No. Since I was about fourteen I have been different from Father in this. It wasn't just that I lost self-control when I was in turmoil in Numa. There are more women who could have ended up with child than you can probably imagine. Mar 18 21:26:08 He's not so... pure as you might imagine... Mar 18 21:27:11 He asked me again about Alarice and the pregnancy. I told him the truth, about what she did. Mar 18 21:27:23 did he blush like a beet? Mar 18 21:28:17 Not at first. He asked how my hands could possibly have been tied when I would have hand to be resting on them to have intercourse with her Mar 18 21:28:39 * Morgan blinks slowly Mar 18 21:28:47 oh dear Mar 18 21:28:58 * Edward nods Mar 18 21:29:43 When I said it could be done with her on top, he said that was unnatural Mar 18 21:30:28 The man lives on the shore of the Sudlache, but _that_ is unnatural... Mar 18 21:30:42 * Edward nods Mar 18 21:31:35 So now, I hold out no hopes that he could understand Alice and I just clicking and spending an enjoyable night together only to go our separate ways Mar 18 21:31:38 No* Mar 18 21:31:56 He doesn't have to Mar 18 21:32:31 No, but it will make him even angrier Mar 18 21:32:51 But we have three secret weapons... Mar 18 21:33:04 * Edward frowns Mar 18 21:33:10 What weapons? Mar 18 21:33:47 Me, for a start... I will stand against him in this... second, we have Molly... thirdly, and most importantly when it comes to persuading him to do anything... we have Martha Mar 18 21:34:11 * Edward groans, rubbing his head Mar 18 21:34:19 Oh, that woman! Mar 18 21:34:39 oh, I know... Molly had the same reaction but... in this instance.... Mar 18 21:34:52 * Edward nods Mar 18 21:35:17 They have written to you about the bride price to Sascha and Otto? Mar 18 21:35:30 We know about it, aye Mar 18 21:38:05 I don't know what started her off on this campaign, but it started shortly after the memorial service that was also her doing Mar 18 21:38:44 I'm going to try to temper her enthusiasm Mar 18 21:39:12 It is done. The money was given over before I left Mar 18 21:39:39 youtub Mar 18 21:43:14 * Morgan nods Mar 18 21:44:51 Father had been surprised when he was told the bride price you had given the was four hundred and twenty five Mar 18 21:45:27 oh? Mar 18 21:49:00 surprised why? Mar 18 21:49:13 That's a great deal of money Mar 18 21:53:36 He's unaware of all the details I suspect Mar 18 21:54:02 Either way, four hundred and twenty five guilders have been paid Mar 18 21:54:15 * Morgan smiles slightly Mar 18 21:54:23 do you know how Sascha and Otto reacted? Mar 18 21:55:22 * Edward looks away Mar 18 21:55:30 No, I wasn't there Mar 18 21:57:50 * Morgan nods Mar 18 21:59:20 There was also discussion about having a memorial placed in the village Mar 18 22:00:15 Yes, I heard... Mar 18 22:01:53 Also her doing. They say women become like their mothers... Mar 18 22:02:31 I wouldn't be surprised if its the other way round... Mar 18 22:03:04 How so? Mar 18 22:04:51 She's already so very wilful... and she managed to negotiate titles from an Eisenfurst... Mar 18 22:05:05 * Edward nods, smiling Mar 18 22:05:17 I don't think I envy you Mar 18 22:05:45 * Morgan smiles slightly Mar 18 22:05:57 I don't think its me she'll be twisting round her finger Mar 18 22:06:09 * Morgan 's expression clouds slightly Mar 18 22:06:16 speaking of Eisenfursts... Mar 18 22:06:18 A bit late for that, brother! Mar 18 22:07:51 * Edward waits for Morgan to go on Mar 18 22:08:41 I do already _have_ an Eisenfurst on side... I count him as my friend... but I took your point and went and got introduced to Eisenfurstin Posen. Mar 18 22:09:49 What did you think of her? Mar 18 22:10:30 I'm withholding judgement... We talked about my choices, the damage to my reputation, all of that Mar 18 22:11:49 * Edward frowns Mar 18 22:11:54 How did that go? Mar 18 22:12:19 Better than I think you expect... but only time will tell Mar 18 22:12:31 * Edward nods Mar 18 22:12:45 Molly seems to like Court Mar 18 22:13:09 She's growing in confidence Mar 18 22:13:24 I am glad, she will need that Mar 18 22:13:34 I find it difficult Mar 18 22:13:52 You were once good at it Mar 18 22:14:10 Its difficult not calling people out... Mar 18 22:16:16 Learning to keep your mouth shut is vital Mar 18 22:16:45 Then I need to get better at the snide comments I am expected to ignore... Mar 18 22:17:49 * Edward nods Mar 18 22:18:21 It is a useful venue for creating alliances, but it is also a nest of vipers Mar 18 22:18:58 * Morgan nods Mar 18 22:19:42 I only complied with their daft rules the first time for you... did you know that? Mar 18 22:20:26 I appreciate it. You get used to breeches and stockings Mar 18 22:21:05 * Morgan looks disgusted Mar 18 22:21:08 I bloody hope not Mar 18 22:22:23 * Edward laughs Mar 18 22:23:40 A tip for you, lounge around in just your breeches, barefoot. Best if you are reading or at your correspondence. Women love it Mar 18 22:24:26 Too much to do to lounge about like a peacock.... Mar 18 22:25:44 * Edward shrugs "your loss" Mar 18 22:27:54 I'll keep it in mind for when we're at sea Mar 18 22:28:58 * Edward nods "it will take six weeks to Capperlucia?" Mar 18 22:30:47 * Morgan nods Mar 18 22:33:00 You will need something to do then Mar 18 22:35:19 I take shifts in command, and in the nest Mar 18 22:36:16 * Edward nods, pulling on his frockcoat Mar 18 22:36:24 Useful Mar 18 22:36:49 i try to be Mar 18 22:37:11 * Edward nods Mar 18 22:37:56 If Father refuses to have me at the house, might I have your hospitality to stay at Innesbruck? Mar 18 22:38:32 of course Mar 18 22:38:57 Thank you Mar 18 22:39:51 [Liebes herz, I had put a note on the mirror to Alice, and I have had a response. She will be able to talk to us at nine] Mar 18 22:40:24 Right, I need to get a move on and see my wife Mar 18 22:41:51 * Edward nods Mar 18 22:42:05 I will be ready to disembark at ten Mar 18 22:42:18 * Morgan nods, moving to the door Mar 18 22:42:21 see you then Mar 18 22:42:51 * Edward nods Mar 18 22:42:57 * Edward is now known as Molly Mar 18 22:43:36 * Molly is neatly folding their possessions into their trunk, knelt on the floor Mar 18 22:44:51 bit different to our own quarters... Mar 18 22:45:27 On the Rose? Mar 18 22:45:45 * Morgan nods Mar 18 22:46:00 * Molly stands, locking the lid Mar 18 22:46:24 Yes, I do not like having separate beds at all. Mar 18 22:49:02 noon at all Mar 18 22:50:17 "The things couples do cannot easily be done in a single bed" she quotes something he said a year ago when she first got the Rose Mar 18 22:50:59 that is very true Mar 18 22:51:18 Not that they can be done with a small boy sharing the room anyway Mar 18 22:51:34 * Morgan nods Mar 18 22:52:12 * Molly brushes off her modified trousers, then looks to him "how are you, my love?" Mar 18 22:52:32 better Mar 18 22:53:40 * Molly nods "Alright. We have fifteen minutes, do you wish to talk?" Mar 18 23:01:15 If it is too personal and private, I will respect that. Mar 18 23:04:12 You wish to know my nightmare? Mar 18 23:04:53 Only if it is not something too romantic or intimate, I think. Mar 18 23:05:15 * Morgan shakes his head Mar 18 23:05:17 far from it Mar 18 23:05:25 * Molly nods Mar 18 23:05:31 Yes then, I do Mar 18 23:05:40 * Morgan nods before telling her all about it Mar 18 23:05:42 * Molly sits on the edge of a bunk Mar 18 23:06:41 * Molly tilts her head part way through, but by the end she is frowning "Oh, my love, that sounds painful" Mar 18 23:06:49 * Morgan nods Mar 18 23:07:15 How do you feel now? Mar 18 23:07:47 I'm alright now Mar 18 23:10:17 * Molly nods "goodl Mar 18 23:10:33 I'm sorry I woke you Mar 18 23:10:54 Not at all. I would choose to be nowhere else Mar 18 23:11:33 * Morgan nods Mar 18 23:12:15 I am glad Mar 18 23:12:28 That I was awakened? Mar 18 23:12:39 That you would choose to be nowhere else Mar 18 23:12:46 I could not do this without you Mar 18 23:13:13 Yes you could... but you do not have to. Mar 18 23:16:43 * Morgan nods Mar 18 23:18:29 All you need to do, should you ever need me, is just reach out to me, my love Mar 18 23:18:39 * Morgan nods Mar 18 23:18:42 alright Mar 18 23:18:58 * Molly watches him a moment Mar 18 23:19:30 I think my theory was right... you are working through older feelings Mar 18 23:19:42 in my dreams? Mar 18 23:20:12 At the very least those situations you dream are bringing them to the fore Mar 18 23:21:13 * Morgan nods Mar 18 23:21:47 It makes sense... you... you do not think me weak or less of me for breaking down? Mar 18 23:22:05 * Molly offers her hand Mar 18 23:22:20 Not at all. I am honoured you did not send me away Mar 18 23:22:41 * Morgan nods slowly Mar 18 23:23:04 You expected I would think that? Mar 18 23:23:26 It would be reasonable Mar 18 23:23:56 Do you think that of me when I cry? Mar 18 23:24:51 Not at all... but from the beginning of you knowing me I was... angry, distant, facing monsters of all kinds... now I weep when I dream Mar 18 23:26:21 Angry and upset are both strong emotions. They are not opposites. The opposite of them would be neutral, peaceful. Mar 18 23:26:47 * Morgan shrugs Mar 18 23:28:40 Have I not seen in you, for more than eighteen months now, far more than just the angry veneer? Mar 18 23:30:08 I suppose so Mar 18 23:31:11 It is only natural to be upset at something so distressing. Mar 18 23:31:41 * Morgan nods, sighing Mar 18 23:32:38 You did not think less of Edward when he was crying to me in the churchyard in Starke? Mar 18 23:32:50 No... Mar 18 23:34:01 Nor when your Father cried in the church with me in Fischler when I was explaining to him why he needed to ensure Alarice was executed? Mar 18 23:34:10 * Morgan shakes his head Mar 18 23:34:22 but those are... big moments, mine was just a nightmare Mar 18 23:34:33 But it isn't, is it? Mar 18 23:34:48 isn't it? Mar 18 23:36:05 It is the history, the feelings of alienation and having them disapprove so strongly and unfairly when she had done nothing to deserve their displeasure Mar 18 23:37:16 * Morgan nods, sighing Mar 18 23:37:18 aye Mar 18 23:38:37 I am sure plenty of tears were shed at the time, but it seems that there is still much feeling left over Mar 18 23:40:01 * Morgan nods Mar 18 23:40:07 aye, I think so Mar 18 23:40:23 * Molly nods Mar 18 23:41:12 I will be here for you, my love. I would not choose for you to not lean on me where you need to. Mar 18 23:41:37 * Morgan nods Mar 18 23:43:21 * Molly nods Mar 18 23:44:35 If there are any specific ways that can bring you comfort in those hardest of moments, things perhaps that she used to do that were beneficial, I would appreciate you letting me know them so I can best help you Mar 18 23:44:57 That would be painful to you... Mar 18 23:46:00 I will bear any pain if it means I can best help you. Mar 18 23:46:06 * Morgan shakes his head Mar 18 23:50:04 * Molly shrugs a little Mar 18 23:50:37 I should think it will be time to speak to Alice shortly. How were you thinking of handling that? Mar 18 23:50:49 badly, as usual Mar 18 23:51:09 Would you have me speak with her instead? Mar 18 23:51:52 No, its my duty Mar 18 23:52:26 Do you wish me to go and be with the others? Mar 18 23:53:31 That might be easier Mar 18 23:56:11 * Molly nods, picking up her cream shawl and wrapping it around her. "I will check in on Edward before I go upstairs tool Mar 18 23:56:24 * Morgan nods Mar 18 23:56:26 alright blossom Mar 18 23:58:49 * Molly points him to the mirror before opening the door "I hope it goes well"